Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 39 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,333 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
INTJs: INTJs are thinkers with all of the weaknesses of feelers and none of the strengths of either feelers or thinkers. They like to think of themselves as logical but they're not. That's just how they'd like to view themselves. They're whiny piss-babies who cry over disagreement. They are completely delusional. Do not encourage these people. You can and should mock them and ridicule them, especially in public. They will type people who are not INTJs as INTJs such as House, Vegeta from DBZ, and Murphy from One Flew over a cuckoo's nest. All of which are hilariously not INTJ.

INFJs: This isn't an actual personality type. It's really just a person that has schizophrenia. Seriously, look up the symptoms of schizophrenia. Not only that but they're both 1% of the population. That's because they're one and the same. Why are we celebrating a personality disorder?

INFPs: You're pretty holier-than-thou for someone that watches Sonic the Hedgehog porn and writes fanfics on Deviantart. Let's get something straight here, you're children and you shouldn't be allowed to vote. You can't give out free money, housing, etc and expect there to be no consequences. Not everybody is a winner, especially not you. You're the reason why the therapy business is still alive.

INTPs: If they're not arguing on an internet forum about which fictional character would win in a fight than they're probably yelling at their mother to go grocery shopping cause they're all out of pop tarts and cheese doodles. INTPs are so lazy that it's just sad. If you're confused about whether someone is an INTJ or an INTP than go to their house. If they have a mini fridge in their room than you're dealing with an INTP. INTPs tend to have autism so they can't tell when people are flirting with them. Which doesn't even matter because nobody would ever flirt with an INTP anyways.

ISTJs: ISTJs are the really prim and proper "charismatic" guys in movies. A girls dream guy. They're incredibly bland and are only "charismatic" because they say and do the "right things". And the only reason for that is they read self-help books and watch videos about body language. The married ones almost always get divorced because they have a severe lack of emotional intelligence and end up getting their mate a vacuum cleaner on their anniversary or birthday. The ugly ISTJs end up becoming MGTOWs, they think they deserve a woman because they're "nice guys" and fail to realize they're alone cause "nice" is the best adjective they can come up with to describe themselves. Desperate for poon some of them end up having sex with their mother.

ISTPs: ISTPs aren't charismatic, nor are they badass. If you're talking to a charismatic ISTP than they're not ISTP, they're ESTP. ISTPs have about as much charisma as AIDS and if you have sex with them you'll probably get it too. All ISTPs have at least 3 STDs, A GED, and a DUI. They're forgetful risk takers so they don't usually wear condoms. They're the wedlock children kings. They're usually the tall fat body-guard looking dude in the group that has so much fat surrounding their necks that you can't make out what they're trying to say. They're also quiet and monotone so that makes it harder. These ISTPs are rarer but they're the closest thing to a badass ISTP as you're going to get.

ISFPs: ISFPs are THOTS because they're desperate and not good enough to be anyone's main, they look like anime characters and their wardrobes suggest that they're color blind. Is that a clown? Close but no, it's just an ISFP. They're easily identifiable and wear those stupid dot nose-piercing things. They try very hard to stand out. They might as well wear a shirt that says "NOTICE ME!" all over it. Most ISFPs are in open-relationships or are Mormons.

ISFJs: ISFJs are basic bitches. They drink Starbucks and wear Ugg boots. Trying to have an interesting conversation with an ISFJ is like trying to get high off of white bread. It's just not possible. They're all exactly the same. It's as if one girl was cloned in a lab a billion times. If you've talked to one you've talked to them all and talking to one is more than enough. How predictable are ISFJs? About as predictable as 5 plus 5 equaling 10.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,331 Posts
INFJs are 2.7% of the population.
Cool, though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
790 Posts
sadly, i can actually identify myself with some of the descriptions :laughing:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Aluminum Frost

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,006 Posts
sadly, i can actually identify myself with some of the descriptions :laughing:
Sad? I am happy someone dare stare Truth™ in the eye up close and personal.
 

·
Registered
ISTJ
Joined
·
1,557 Posts
I took the most offense to the INFP one :tongue: :exterminate:

I just want everybody to eat cake and enjoy, and not get fat because the cake would have 0 calories and 100% flavor. Then, we can all run outside, join hands and there will never be any wars, murder or terrible, terrible things again.

Oh wait, reality.
 

·
Soop for the Soul
Joined
·
1,741 Posts
INFJs: This isn't an actual personality type. It's really just a person that has schizophrenia
INTPs: If they're not arguing on an internet forum about which fictional character would win in a fight than they're probably yelling at their mother to go grocery shopping cause they're all out of pop tarts and cheese doodles. INTPs are so lazy that it's just sad. If you're confused about whether someone is an INTJ or an INTP than go to their house. If they have a mini fridge in their room than you're dealing with an INTP. INTPs tend to have autism so they can't tell when people are flirting with them. Which doesn't even matter because nobody would ever flirt with an INTP anyways.
ISTPs: ISTPs aren't charismatic, nor are they badass. If you're talking to a charismatic ISTP than they're not ISTP, they're ESTP. ISTPs have about as much charisma as AIDS and if you have sex with them you'll probably get it too.

Pho king ded.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,333 Posts
Discussion Starter #13 (Edited)
ESFPs: ESFPs are the types of people to be 38 years old and found playing in the ball pit at a Chuck E. Cheese's or something of the sort. For this reason alone they can often be mistaken as pedophiles. It's a fair criticism to make and can keep them out of trouble but I could already hear the chants of them calling me a "HATER!" for this. ESFPs, you don't have haters, and they aren't making you famous. You work at Walgreens. ESFPs are anti-education. Thinking makes their brains hurt, gives them a headache. So they often react with hostility towards teachers because the ESFP wrongfully believes that the teacher is trying to hurt them. Never debate with an ESFP. Debating a stupid person is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, crap on the board, and then strut around acting like it won. But it's worse in the case of ESFPs. If an ESFP is ever playing chess with a pigeon than do yourself a favor, bet on the pigeon! If you are inquiring about becoming an ESFP than you're in luck :D Look no further, this video will tell you all you need to know about becoming an ESFP.

ESTPs: ESTPs say stupid things on a very frequent basis. But there's nothing any of us can do about it because statistically speaking ESTPs would kick all our asses. It's just not fair. I heard an ESTP say "Yo that was savage" after watching a vine and I just started swinging. This has happened on 6 different occasions and I've lost each fight. "Global warming is a hoax created by the Chinese" That's it, THAT'S IT! Son of a bitch! Everybody dies! This is how school shootings start. ESTPs cause people to shoot up schools. ESTPs are also hypocrites. If you make a mistake they'll flip out on you. but if they do than it's like "Hey relax, everybody makes mistakes" You may not know this but Axe cologne was created for the soul purpose of identifying who is and isn't a douche-bag. I'm wrong? LOL, find me an ESTP that doesn't wear Axe cologne. ESTPs are selfish, they're 3 months late on rent but they'll still use that money for something else. Like buying the newest pair of Jordan's or the newest Iphone that is slightly better than the last. If the Land lord has a problem with it than they can catch these hands.

ESTJs: ESTJs associate themselves with successful people. They haven't accomplished anything themselves so they share credit with others. They do it with many things. Mostly sports, their kids and their country though. "We won!" No, the team won. you didn't fucking help just cause you're from the same city. They live vicariously through their kids which is just sad as well. Maybe your son doesn't want to be an athlete. If he wants to be in a musical than let him. And stop raising your daughters like they're your sons. You're not fooling me, all your daughters have a unisex name. You had a daughter, you need to come to terms with this. ESTJs are fat, middle-aged drunks with a receding hairline and they're too stupid and stubborn to just shave their head bald. You lost too much hair, stop combing it over. You look like Charlie Brown.

ESFJs: Out of all the types ESFJs own the 3rd most Playstation 4s. Right after the INTx types because they punish their kids and other peoples kids for not living up to their expectations. You're too concerned with what's weird and trying to act normal. Which ironically is pretty freaking weird. HAHAHAHAHA! *points and laughs* WEIRDO! xD But for realzies, live a little. Stop watching the same shows, eating the same foods, having sex with the same husband, etc. Get some hobbies, and no, chores aren't hobbies.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,333 Posts
Discussion Starter #18 (Edited)
ENTPs: ENTPs are notorious for shoving things up their asses. They truly think outside the box. "What would happen if we shoved something INTO our ass?" "What if we were to squeeze a cows utters and drink the fluids?" These are questions that ENTPs ask, and they've made great breakthroughs in science and medicine because of it. Combining their love of learning with their high-sex drive. It's almost like a 6th sense. Once they shove an object up their ass they understand everything about it, its essence. It also arouses them so they're killing two birds with one stone. Yes, you're scientists. But is this the type of science you want to be remembered for? You have to ask me and other people questions cause we wont let you shove us up your ass. Oh no we wont! No matter how much you've tried to. Also, when you do ask a question, at least let us answer it before you ask another question. "Why?" "Why? "But why?" "What if?" "Wouldn't it be cool if?" ENTPs

ENFPs: ENFPs are nonsense. They support causes that don't make any sense.
Only to change their mind next week, get triggered and attack a person holding up a sign supporting the exact cause they were intensely passionate about. ENFPs can't keep a job. Their record for losing jobs is second to none. But at least they can get a job, unlike the INFP. ENFPs forget where they are and what they're doing frequently so it's no surprise that people who suffer from amnesia are almost always ENFPs. The ENFP mind is in such a frenzy that they have trouble knowing what's going on with their bodies. They involuntarily poop themselves, they starve to death because they forget to eat, their legs decide to stop working at random and they fall down, they start walking backgrounds. These people need Jesus.

ENFJs: Idk who told ENFJs that they were intuitives cause they don't act it at all. ENFJs just have the most punch-able faces I've ever seen in my life. If you're ever in a fight with somebody, just imagine that it's an ENFJ smiling at you. You'll immediately achieve Ultra Instinct like in Dragon Ball Super and you'll for sure win the fight. ENFJs utilize Fe and Se, so the more excited they get the more they start touching you so that's something to be wary of. They also have stupid haircuts and tell corny jokes. I hate you ENFJs, you're the worst scum on this list by far.

ENTJs: Another one! Idk who told these people they're intuitives either. They hate creativity, they hate theory, they only care about material things and status. ENTJs claim to be critical thinkers but they're very black and white in their thinking. After watching a movie their thoughts are either "This is dogshit!" or "This was awesome!" Ok, thanks ENTJ! Insightful as always! You can think of an ENTJs bank account as a health bar. If they lose some money they get agitated, if they lose a lot they get depressed, if they go bankrupt then they start jumping out of buildings. ENTJs don't just want to succeed, that's not enough, they also want others to fail. Despite all the bravado they're actually rather submissive people. They love getting dominated and treated like shit. They subscribe to porn websites like BeatenByThots.com. They have big mouths but unlike ESTJs and ESTPs they can't back it up so they get beat up and end up screaming "HARDER DADDY!" by accident. Or not, maybe it was all just part of the plan.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,042 Posts
ENTPs: ENTPs are notorious for shoving things up their asses. They truly think outside the box. "What would happen if we shoved something INTO our ass?"
I LOL'd.
 
1 - 20 of 39 Posts
Top