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What is your (current!) Romantic Partner's Type?

  • ISFJ

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • ISTJ

    Votes: 3 8.8%
  • ESFJ

    Votes: 1 2.9%
  • ESTJ

    Votes: 1 2.9%
  • ISFP

    Votes: 1 2.9%
  • ISTP

    Votes: 1 2.9%
  • ESFP

    Votes: 1 2.9%
  • ESTP

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • INFJ

    Votes: 4 11.8%
  • INFP

    Votes: 7 20.6%
  • ENFJ

    Votes: 2 5.9%
  • ENFP

    Votes: 3 8.8%
  • INTJ

    Votes: 2 5.9%
  • INTP

    Votes: 5 14.7%
  • ENTJ

    Votes: 1 2.9%
  • ENTP

    Votes: 2 5.9%

  • Total voters
    34
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Discussion Starter #1
The INFP equivalent to this poll is here.

Hi fellow INFJs!


It would delight me, if you told me about:

• Your First Impression of your Partner
• Your Second Impression
• What you Love about your Partner('s type)
• For how long you have been together
• Your Relationship Dynamic

• … and more, if you like ^^


P.S: Please do not vote, if you are either not an INFJ or single. This poll is designed for INFJs who are in a relationship right now. Thank you!
 

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First Impression:
I really don't remember first impressions unless they were negative lol, sorry.

Second Impression:
I also admit I didn't really pay attention to my current partner when I first met him because I was interested in someone else. He was kind of just there. The three of us were friends, however; I dated the person I was interested in at first, broke up after 10 months, and then went into a relationship with my current partner.
Again, I really don't remember impressions, sorry XD

What I like about my partner's type:
I really don't know what to say about this since I don't really think in terms of MBTI anymore and believe that people of one type can be the complete opposite of the stereotype. If you really want to talk stereotypes and generalizations, however, my ENTJ partner is quite rational and is also willing to put aside his own emotions in order to do what is reasonable or right. Around me, he can be very talkative, which is nice since I like to listen without having to worry about putting in energy to respond. He can have a lot of very helpful insights and isn't afraid to be honest, which I appreciate. He's also very open-minded.

How long we've been together:
Almost a year and a half.

Relationship dynamic:
I don't really know what this means LOL but uhm... if anything, stereotypical gender roles are meaningless in our relationship since we have it all mixed up. I'm much more emotionally self-sufficient while he usually relies on me more often for comfort, for instance. I'm the more responsible and ambitious one, but I also have a horrible memory so my boyfriend has to remind me of things. He's much more shy and less confident than I am, but I also bug him to eat healthier and to be more organized and this and that. I don't really know what to say lol, but either way, I think we're as authentic as possible with each other. One thing we used to say was that we're sort of like "bros" while I'm still like an older sister/older figure taking care of someone younger even though we're dating each other. [shrugs]
 

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Istj.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Those who have voted INFJ, could you say something about your relationship?
Do all the drawbacks of "identical" relationships that are mentioned by others apply to your relationship?
 

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can't help you with the INFJ thing, as mine is ENTP, however--


first impression: I remember thinking wow, I really enjoy you ^.^. Honestly, I didn't think about why I did at the time, lol. I was far too busy absorbing him.

second impression: That he was very quick, very passionate, but also cold and... how to say.... if he doesn't like somebody or thinks they're saying something stupid, he easily cuts right through all of that and either says what is more accurate or says something to the effect of "that's stupid -_-" but in a kind of disguised way.

I have no idea why I like that xD, but I do. Maybe it's because I'm terrible at speaking my mind if my opinion differs from somebody else's, so I love that he can just say stuff like that without being overly concerned. He sticks out without trying and is usually correct. Also, I noticed he was very witty and clever, and always had more to what he was thinking than what he said (--which continues to surprise me. I mean, I know its the case, but somehow my brain is still all "woah D:").

What I love about him? I've already mentioned a few, but I love how much he values loyalty. I like how truthful he is. Sometimes things he does hurts me, but he would never damage me on purpose. He likes his space, so I'm never feeling overwhelmed or obligated. Skill is very important to him (I like a man that knows what he's doing or learns if he doesn't). He's all soft and mushy in places that I'm nearly the sole accessor of. makes me feel special.

I dunno. He's just something really beautiful that I don't understand. To be in a relationship I -have- to have somebody that I find and continue to find fascinating, and he's like that (it helps that he's handsome with a voice that I could listen to for ages lol).

Been together for somewhere around 5 months. I don't keep a real close eye on the time. Obviously, we're still in the beginning of things, and maybe it won't last as long as I'd like, but I'm loving it right now and that's what matters.

dynamic: He goes through mood swings, and I like to think I make his dark spells easier on him. If I'm not thinking clearly, he can help me get right to the heart of a problem. I think the main thing is that we act as a kind of support for each other. I know he's always on my side, and he knows I always want him and believe in him. He's kind of my audience for all my observations/thoughts/random things xD. If I get really excited about something I'll be all "AAAAAA LOOK AT THIS LOOK" and he looks, and I feel noticed and valued. I think I act as a safe place for him to learn to understand his emotional side better. I get to let my more logical side out without feeling bad about like I do with some of my friends/family.

I'd imagine he'd have something different to say about us, but that's another reason for why I think he's great :blushed:.

*edit* I forgot, as a 4, sometimes I think about myself and the things effecting me waaayy too much. He is almost the opposite of that. always outside of himself and thinking about bigger things. For me at least, that helps me learn how to balance myself more. I don't know how that difference effects him, but it probably does, whether he's aware of it or not.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
*edit* I forgot, as a 4, sometimes I think about myself and the things effecting me waaayy too much. He is almost the opposite of that. always outside of himself and thinking about bigger things. For me at least, that helps me learn how to balance myself more. I don't know how that difference effects him, but it probably does, whether he's aware of it or not.
Wow, I am glad for you that you have managed to be in a happy relationship as an INFJ and Enneagram type 4w5! So many 4s always talk about how emotionally volatile, and basically not content they are/were in their relationships. You present the other half of the spectrum!
So, may I ask what Enneagram type your ENTP is? Could it be that he is a 7?
 

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INFJ only, or any other person that can work in near INFJ mode.

TP's are too cold and selfish, therefore destructive to my F type. Too much grinding gears without any long term purpose:)

2 yr INTP:
First impression: Cool guy, could work out eventually, but I doubt it

Second impression: Too cold, won't work for much longer. Cheaty and stupid rationalism.

Time: 2yr

dynamic: good when it worked, unable to resolve issues because TP avoided conflict and postponed it as long as possible which was unfit for my immediate conflict resolution.

Result: Lifelong 'enemies', ditched everyone in his friend circle, learned not to do this "let's try even when you are unsure" shit in the future and moving on and recovering slowly
 

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Wow, I am glad for you that you have managed to be in a happy relationship as an INFJ and Enneagram type 4w5! So many 4s always talk about how emotionally volatile, and basically not content they are/were in their relationships. You present the other half of the spectrum!
So, may I ask what Enneagram type your ENTP is? Could it be that he is a 7?
He is, in fact! ^.^ 7w6 1w2 3w2 so/sx, and I am 4w5 7w6 9w8 so/sx, so we share a lot of similar view points and issues, while being very different. Neither of us like being negative, both have focusing issues, both want to have our social situation secure while experiencing exciting things.

I mean, we have difficulties now and then, and often times I find myself with my emotions doing their roller coaster thing, so It's not that its constantly happy go lucky (I'd probably be disturbed if it was lol), but I guess I've learned to identify and manage when my emotions are being ridiculous and when they're not, which is extremely helpful. Mostly though, those difficulties are only when I feel like we're a little too distant. But how fantastic is that, that my only trouble is that he's so love-able I just want more all the time? xD. Yeah, I guess, at root, I really don't consider that a problem, even though I'll be upset here and there. I don't know where I was going with that lol.

So, yes, he's a 7, and I consider myself more extroverted and free flowing than the INFJ norm would have one expect. That's probably why it works.

*edit* remembered my point. I AM emotionally volatile. I just do my best not to let that effect our relationship, because it's not his fault that I react so strongly to things lol.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
He is, in fact! ^.^ 7w6 1w2 3w2 so/sx, and I am 4w5 7w6 9w8 so/sx, so we share a lot of similar view points and issues, while being very different. Neither of us like being negative, both have focusing issues, both want to have our social situation secure while experiencing exciting things.
That is really intriguing, because it underlines a theory that I have: that people seem to enjoy being in a relationship with someone who shares one Ennegram type of their own tritype. In your case that is true; in mine I would say so too, because my tritype is 4w5, 5w4, 9w1 and my best friend is a 9w1, and I imagined my ideal partner to be a 5w4 or 4w5. ;)
 

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That is really intriguing, because it underlines a theory that I have: that people seem to enjoy being in a relationship with someone who shares one Ennegram type of their own tritype. In your case that is true; in mine I would say so too, because my tritype is 4w5, 5w4, 9w1 and my best friend is a 9w1, and I imagined my ideal partner to be a 5w4 or 4w5. ;)
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me. Or, maybe it particularly works with 4s because they want to feel understood so much.

My best friend is also 9 methinks -_^. I also take great interest in 8s and 3s, yet I barely have 8 in me, and none of 3. And it seems kind of rare that I appreciate 4 in others (often I strongly dislike them >.<...). Perhaps I see too many of my own flaws in them? So I'm not sure. It seems like we can both take to and reject in others what exists in ourselves because it exists in ourselves.

Recently I talked to another INFJ about couples growing to look like each other over time, and couples that find each other attractive BECAUSE they look like each other (not consciously, i don't think). I wouldn't be surprised if both that physical attraction and the same-enneagram attraction stemmed from the same sort of narcissistic place in our brains. What that place is or what the nature is of the workers that inhabit it, I have no idea...
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Recently I talked to another INFJ about couples growing to look like each other over time, and couples that find each other attractive BECAUSE they look like each other (not consciously, i don't think). I wouldn't be surprised if both that physical attraction and the same-enneagram attraction stemmed from the same sort of narcissistic place in our brains. What that place is or what the nature is of the workers that inhabit it, I have no idea...
I do not think this is necessarily stemming from a narcissistic nature, but rather our subconscious wish for genetic compatibility. If the other person looks similar to us, they may have compatible genes. And also, a similar looking face is simply more familiar to us, because we see our own in mirrors and in our parents and siblings, who resemble us because - of the similar genes.
 

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NONE.

The temptation is always there, I have a couple of "offers" withstanding, but eh, none from girls I'm actually into in a romantic sense. I slipped up about a month or so ago, and I won't be doing that again. Not a slant on a girl, but I only want to have sex in an actual relationship. I think it sort of "cheapens" sex if I have it with any pretty girl that wants it, regardless of how they look.
 

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I do not think this is necessarily stemming from a narcissistic nature, but rather our subconscious wish for genetic compatibility. If the other person looks similar to us, they may have compatible genes. And also, a similar looking face is simply more familiar to us, because we see our own in mirrors and in our parents and siblings, who resemble us because - of the similar genes.
I don't know enough about genetics to really comment more on it lol. But we're straying from your thread topic, so lemme bring it back round for you :)

Those who have voted INFJ, could you say something about your relationship?
Do all the drawbacks of "identical" relationships that are mentioned by others apply to your relationship?
 

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ISTJ

• Your First Impression of your Partner
I fell in love with him right away.

• Your Second Impression
Just that I couldn't believe how suited we were for each other.

• What you Love about your Partner('s type)
He's intelligent, funny, wise, caring, loving, both sensible and silly, he has a big sense of duty, he's very unique. That's only to name a few, I love everything about him. :blushed:

• For how long you have been together
Since 12th September 2011 (approximately 2 years, 3 months and so many days - but it feels like a lifetime in the best possible way :happy:)
 

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Your First Impression of your Partner:
I met her sister about two years before and my first thought was: "Wait, she has a sister?! Awesome!"

• Your Second Impression:
I had never met anyone who both 1. got my jokes and 2. predicted the jokes I hadn't even said yet. It was so much fun.

• What you Love about your Partner('s type):
She eventually reaches similar conclusions as I do, but she gets to them in the exact opposite way, functionally. She builds a bridge from A to B by building each individual plank, step-by-step, detail by detail. I teleport from A to B, then build a bridge back from B to A.

• For how long you have been together:
Approximately 3.5 years.

• Your Relationship Dynamic:
Lots of fantastic communication, taking turns talking and listening because we agree on our foundational principles, but love to get into how the other one thinks (because it's so different).
 

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I am in a long distance relationship with another INFJ. If I had to describe our relationship with one word, it would be exquisite.


• Your First Impression of your Partner
He made me really curious. He´s a mistery for me to explore.
• Your Second Impression
This is too good to be true and I want more.
• What you Love about your Partner('s type)
He´s loving, caring, sensitive, romantic, positive, accepting. He´s always encouraging me to be myself. He´s smart and patient.
• For how long you have been together
We´ve been together for a year and a half.


I heard a few things about INFJ/INFJ relationship dynamics, like it would be boring, or not challenging enough or that two feelers in a relationship would be a "pool of tears" (that was directly said to me once lol)
I don´t know, we are similar in a lot of ways, we enjoy staying at home watching a movie together, we love the same shows, music, readings. We´re both stubborn and determined and random. We love plans and even our love language is similar but we´re really different too.
When we fight (we just fought twice in this year and a half) he feels like I don´t listen when in fact I do listen, I take in the information in and then I need to withdraw to process. We, sometimes run in circles because we tend to over react when our Fe is all over the place. He needs to be really patient with me and I need to find the middle ground between withdrawing and explaining things.
I think I am "volatile" and he is more laid back. I need to say things and sometimes I don´t have a filter, he is a diplomat. He´s an optimist I like to call myself a realist lol
We both think communication is the key.
 

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Edited because...double post :dry:
 

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Partner is INTP.

• Your First Impression of your Partner
Very nice, hardworking (met him at work), very helpful

• Your Second Impression
Pretty much the same. I could be friends with this person. Very smart, I could hold a conversation with him (I'm very full of myself)

• What you Love about your Partner('s type)
He finds logic in places I don't. He doesn't pressure me to be a certain way. He's very creative and intelligent. He strives to use his intelligence and creativity for a purpose. His drive for self-improvement.

• For how long you have been together
Almost 2 years.

• Your Relationship Dynamic
I'm the emotional, clingy one with romantic sentiments. He's the brooding, logical thinker, with a sweet side.
 
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