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When I first started learning about the MBTI, the most exciting thing about it was reading about my type and reading things that were so accurate about me. What made this so great for me is that until that point I always felt kind of lonely about the way that I was...I really didn't know anyone that could relate to concerning a lot of things in my life. I'm an ISFJ, and even now I don't know anyone else in my real life who's also one.
That's part of what made this forum so awesome to me...to talk to other ISFJ's, and to be able to actually have people understand the way I thought and felt about things. I felt a sense of belonging in a way I never quite had before.
But the flip side to this coin is that I've constantly found myself falling into what I have personally labeled as the "Type Trap". And that is the trap of assuming that everyone of one type is the same. The sense of belonging is so powerful that it feels so good to think that there are people out there like me. Every time I seen an ISFJ post, I think "hey, that person must be just like me!" Because that's what I want...to know that I'm not by myself.
What's worse is that every time someone of another type mentions anything about an ISFJ, it's almost like those four letters are highlighted and in my mind it's like a neon light flashing "That means me! That means me!" I immediately think that the person must be talking about me, because I have such a yearning to relate to the type.
Of course, I rationally know better...I've read over and over again how personality type is just a preference, how it's just one part of a person, and how in all four categories there is a varying emphasis on how far in either direction a person is. I rationally of course know that every person is unique and that I'm not just like all other ISFJ's. But I still have that immediate natural tendency that I have to fight.
It's hard to say how much of this is just me, how much of it is related to me being an ISFJ, how much of it just goes back to the type of person that would come to a forum like this in the first place, and how much of it is human nature in everybody.
So, I always like to think about this question: In what ways are you different than people of your type? This could be how you're different than general descriptions you've read in books, different than people of your own type that you know in your life, or even how you're different than people of your type that others on this forum have talked about.
I guess I can start. First off, I've read in descriptions that ISFJ's are very good home-makers, that they have very neat and tidy homes, and that they make good interior decorators. None of those things are true for me. I'll tidy up some when company comes, and I've always been very respective of roommates. But when living by myself, I'm very messy and have no sense of style. I think part of this is related to gender (not to stereotype, but I picture female ISFJ's as being better at decorating), and I wonder if those books wrote that because I've also read that a lot of ISFJ traits are more traditionally feminine.
I've also read about people talking about ISFJ's on here. They say how some are very close-minded and don't listen to those different than them. They say how some can be very bitter and cold to others, especially those different from them. I've heard how some are just mean and shut people out. I've heard how some aren't good at listening and can be selfish. I've also heard how in relationships, they will explode on people and wear people out emotionally.
It's funny because I feel like none of those apply to me. I've tried to figure the reasons why, and I always end up thinking: (a) the people describing them don't know or understand them well (which may be true, but most likely this is me once again falling into the "type trap" of thinking they must be wrong because all ISFJ's must be the same
), (b) that perhaps I do some of these things and am just not aware of it (or perhaps I don't, but people perceive me this way), or (c) the most common response we all like to think, that I'm a "healthy" ISFJ and these others are not. Of course, I think there is some truth in this, at least in some ways, especially because in general I think I'm very aware of my flaws and I've learned a lot about how to deal with them and improve them.
So anyway...I know we all love typing people and seeing the patterns and similarities, but here's your chance to prove that you haven't fallen into the "type trap" by describing how you're different than those of your same type!
That's part of what made this forum so awesome to me...to talk to other ISFJ's, and to be able to actually have people understand the way I thought and felt about things. I felt a sense of belonging in a way I never quite had before.
But the flip side to this coin is that I've constantly found myself falling into what I have personally labeled as the "Type Trap". And that is the trap of assuming that everyone of one type is the same. The sense of belonging is so powerful that it feels so good to think that there are people out there like me. Every time I seen an ISFJ post, I think "hey, that person must be just like me!" Because that's what I want...to know that I'm not by myself.
What's worse is that every time someone of another type mentions anything about an ISFJ, it's almost like those four letters are highlighted and in my mind it's like a neon light flashing "That means me! That means me!" I immediately think that the person must be talking about me, because I have such a yearning to relate to the type.
Of course, I rationally know better...I've read over and over again how personality type is just a preference, how it's just one part of a person, and how in all four categories there is a varying emphasis on how far in either direction a person is. I rationally of course know that every person is unique and that I'm not just like all other ISFJ's. But I still have that immediate natural tendency that I have to fight.
It's hard to say how much of this is just me, how much of it is related to me being an ISFJ, how much of it just goes back to the type of person that would come to a forum like this in the first place, and how much of it is human nature in everybody.
So, I always like to think about this question: In what ways are you different than people of your type? This could be how you're different than general descriptions you've read in books, different than people of your own type that you know in your life, or even how you're different than people of your type that others on this forum have talked about.
I guess I can start. First off, I've read in descriptions that ISFJ's are very good home-makers, that they have very neat and tidy homes, and that they make good interior decorators. None of those things are true for me. I'll tidy up some when company comes, and I've always been very respective of roommates. But when living by myself, I'm very messy and have no sense of style. I think part of this is related to gender (not to stereotype, but I picture female ISFJ's as being better at decorating), and I wonder if those books wrote that because I've also read that a lot of ISFJ traits are more traditionally feminine.
I've also read about people talking about ISFJ's on here. They say how some are very close-minded and don't listen to those different than them. They say how some can be very bitter and cold to others, especially those different from them. I've heard how some are just mean and shut people out. I've heard how some aren't good at listening and can be selfish. I've also heard how in relationships, they will explode on people and wear people out emotionally.
It's funny because I feel like none of those apply to me. I've tried to figure the reasons why, and I always end up thinking: (a) the people describing them don't know or understand them well (which may be true, but most likely this is me once again falling into the "type trap" of thinking they must be wrong because all ISFJ's must be the same
), (b) that perhaps I do some of these things and am just not aware of it (or perhaps I don't, but people perceive me this way), or (c) the most common response we all like to think, that I'm a "healthy" ISFJ and these others are not. Of course, I think there is some truth in this, at least in some ways, especially because in general I think I'm very aware of my flaws and I've learned a lot about how to deal with them and improve them.So anyway...I know we all love typing people and seeing the patterns and similarities, but here's your chance to prove that you haven't fallen into the "type trap" by describing how you're different than those of your same type!
