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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't know if this is only me. ^^' Or what the heck this is. I wonder if other people feel the same way.

I don't mean protector as in a saviour that rides in galloping on a big white horse. No. Sometimes I find myself wishing for something or somebody to come along and act as my shield. It's very strange. Sometimes I just wish that I could be protected. Simple as that.

Maybe it's because I'm scared of getting hurt. I am, really. I get scared of having my hopes go too high. I'm not scared of being manipulated, but being betrayed definitely pricks me.

And sometimes I find myself repulsed and scared by that side of me. I don't see myself as being weak because of that, but sometimes I feel so selfish. How could I want something like that, and what does that say about me? And yet I feel this longing for something like that quite often.

This is why, I think, it is so easy for me to be the follower. In fact, I want to have something or somebody over me. Because I feel protected, I guess.
 

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Maybe it's because I'm scared of getting hurt. I am, really. I get scared of having my hopes go too high. I'm not scared of being manipulated, but being betrayed definitely pricks me.

And sometimes I find myself repulsed and scared by that side of me. This is why, I think, it is so easy for me to be the follower. In fact, I want to have something or somebody over me. Because I feel protected, I guess.
Oddly, why you might want a shield (scared of getting hurt?), is the very reason why I don't want one. I have a fear of being hurt and betrayed, as a result (experience + personality) I've created shields of my own. In other words, I'm afraid the shield won't be able to take the heat. Does that make sense? As a result, I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with that side of me. On one hand it has saved me from a lot of heart ache but likewise it has caused a lot too.

Just thought it was interesting that the motivation (fear of being hurt) has very different outcomes. :happy:
 

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I don't mean protector as in a saviour that rides in galloping on a big white horse. No. Sometimes I find myself wishing for something or somebody to come along and act as my shield. It's very strange. Sometimes I just wish that I could be protected. Simple as that.
Don't worry Julia Bell, it happens to me as well.
I will admit that sometimes though infrequently, I do wish for a savior in some sort of movie-like picture inside my head. I blame my 4w5 heart fix and my INFP-ness. However, more frequently, I do wish for a protector to act as my shield. Even when it comes to relationships I look for people that are protective, strong, supportive and attentive. I just want to feel safe in my environment and that also includes wanting to feel safe with people as well. I don't think it's strange for you to wish these things at all.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Don't worry Julia Bell, it happens to me as well.
I will admit that sometimes though infrequently, I do wish for a savior in some sort of movie-like picture inside my head. I blame my 4w5 heart fix and my INFP-ness. However, more frequently, I do wish for a protector to act as my shield. Even when it comes to relationships I look for people that are protective, strong, supportive and attentive. I just want to feel safe in my environment and that also includes wanting to feel safe with people as well. I don't think it's strange for you to wish these things at all.
Yes, I find myself looking for that protectiveness in relationships as well. I look back at journal entries and see the days where I am wishing for something like that. Oh yeah, I have the want for a saviour sometimes as well. ^^ I am pretty sure everybody does at some point in their life.
 

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I don't know if this is only me. ^^' Or what the heck this is. I wonder if other people feel the same way.

I don't mean protector as in a saviour that rides in galloping on a big white horse. No. Sometimes I find myself wishing for something or somebody to come along and act as my shield. It's very strange. Sometimes I just wish that I could be protected. Simple as that.

Maybe it's because I'm scared of getting hurt. I am, really. I get scared of having my hopes go too high. I'm not scared of being manipulated, but being betrayed definitely pricks me.

And sometimes I find myself repulsed and scared by that side of me. I don't see myself as being weak because of that, but sometimes I feel so selfish. How could I want something like that, and what does that say about me? And yet I feel this longing for something like that quite often.

This is why, I think, it is so easy for me to be the follower. In fact, I want to have something or somebody over me. Because I feel protected, I guess.
Yeah, I can relate to the bolded.

I refuse to be a follower though. I think for myself and don't let others dictate what I do in life. 'Blaze your own trail' kinda thing I guess. And whenever I get that uneasy/nagging feeling of needing protection, I tamp down the thought. I can protect myself, I don't need someone else to do it for me, what I need is to build self-confidence in the areas of life that trigger the feeling. (I.e. the threat of physical harm; step up self defense training. The threat of being used; I (albeit, counterproductively) withdraw further from the situation. etc)

I dunno what it is either, or where it came from. It's just there. And I'll deal with it the only way I know how to - identify the issue in question, run through in my brain what the 'protector' would be doing for me in the situation, and do it myself/address the fear and deal with it accordingly.
 

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I don't feel the need of a protector in my life. Maybe it is because I am counterphobic. I have a strong feeling that if I rely on other(s) things will go wrong. I want to do everything mostly, if not all, by myself. Anyway, it would be a highly releaving idea that there would be something to rely on totally. I just don't believe in it at all. In some extend I do believe in god, but I don't believe there is anyone who could relate to my way of seeing it. I think it is a fear of losing control that makes me want to be separate from others. It's this silly believe that if I lay down my guard, the crusades and witch hunts would start all over again.
 

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I am both phobic and counterphobic; most of the time, when I'm faced with danger or an overwhelming situation, I try to find the best possible way out and at the same time, feel like I want to give up.

I don't trust people easily and therefore, what I really want is someone I can trust and leave things to for once, because someone who will just "protect" me doesn't give me the reassurance that they will do the job effectively.
 

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I used to want this a long time ago.

Nowadays, I don't need it at all. I'd rather create my own little "pad" of awesome than rely on someone else to create it for me.

What if that person ceases to be around the next day? Not cool man!
 

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Not a core 6, but it's interesting how I have always felt invincible lol. I never felt like I needed protection, and I actually find the idea of wanting a shield selfish. It likely has to do with how I am interpreting your post. Correct me if needed. And, hopefully, I am not coming across as dismissive.

By shield, do you mean you want someone to stand between you and any kind of harm, at all times? If so, that's what's giving me the 'negative' impression. OR do you happen to mean you're just looking for someone supportive, mature and reliable? The shield thing is triggering a negative response, of sorts, from me, because I neither want a shield nor would I ever want to be someone's shield. Wanting a shield suggests something like...wanting to hide behind someone so they can take the bullet/the brunt of life's brutality, so to speak, on your behalf. That's somewhat off-putting.

I am very aligned with my own interests. I can be protective of children, the disabled and so on. But, in interpersonal relationships, I want people to fight their own battles. I will support them and even help them concretely, but only if they really need it. Other than that, I am quite focused on myself.
 

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Hire a bodyguard.


I kid I kid
 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
@Boss - It is selfish and that's why I feel kind of guilty about it. Well, in a person, I simply want somebody rock solid. Reliable. Definitely supportive. But sometimes I feel very insecure, like a tightrope walker or something. I only feel like this sometimes, but when I do feel that way, I realize that I want somebody or something that is there to make me feel... well, not insecure. Sometimes I want something or somebody to come between me and potential hurt. And yes, it is selfish. It's just something I know I feel sometimes. I'd hate to give that job of a "protector" to a person. Because that would be using somebody.

@JuliaRhys - XD Okay. Ima' gonna find me a type Eight...
 

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Every now and then I wanted someone there to walk me back from the edge. I'm comfortable with the abyss.
 
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