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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm depressed and my life is going nowhere. The only real friend I had has told me that she will no longer "enable my wallowing" by listening to me and that I need to sort things for myself and I completely agree. Moaning about stuff is not going to fix anything so I actually need to do something. But what? I wont bore you with all the details but I've narrowed it to two choices - some kind of therapy or moving somewhere interesting.

The idea of therapy feels worse than suicide to me, I have to fully admit that I'm such a bad person I must pay to have someone listen and hopefully help. It's true, but I hate it. Keeping regular appointments with someone I deeply resent before even meeting them doesn't sound appealing at all. I also mentally connect therapy with "happy pills" which I will refuse (I don't even take paracetamol) as I see them as an admission that I'm not good enough. "Have a problem? Take a pill!" There is no incentive to actually fix problems these days when they can just be glazed over (I hope this doesn't offend anyone, it's how I see it so must be said)

The other option is doing absolutely nothing for a year to save enough money to move somewhere and survive without a job for an unknown length of time. This kind of planning is completely alien to me, I refuse to think about Christmas until at least November - it's miles away! Doing this isn't a guaranteed recipe for success either, there would just be more people around who already have their partners and social groups that I'd have to force my way into and I'll still be the same quiet person I am now. Hopefully I'd find an interesting group to join and get in that way but I don't have any sociable interests at the moment. Even if I love me for all my undeniable gifts everyone else does not or I do not display them (you can claim otherwise if you like, but if it weren't so I'd have some friends) and this would not change. Plus I wouldn't even have my family nearby to visit so this may actually make the isolation worse.

Any experiences of either route would be appreciated, positive or negative...
 

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I don't have experience of therapy or moving, well not moving because of depression,

when I moved I'd just gotten over a period of depression, and yes moving is difficult, it's better to be moving because your going to do something like a course, or a new job, before you move,

but if you move to a city you can and live in a group house, like an apartment share you find that you instantly have some people in which you have a reference to become friend with also, it's easier to get along with them because for the most part no one wants to make living with someone else difficult because you share the same house.

what I did with my depression was just wait it out, and I came out the other side, but I that was a rocky way of doing things I think and it took about three years to fully get over. So I wouldn't totally suggest it, and it did get worse before it got better, but it did get better.

I hope everything gets better for you, :wink:
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
magnus una said:
but if you move to a city you can and live in a group house, like an apartment share you find that you instantly have some people in which you have a reference to become friend with also, it's easier to get along with them because for the most part no one wants to make living with someone else difficult because you share the same house
Yeah, I lived in a shared house at uni - lots of not being yourself to maintain the peace and only a feeling of relief on leaving it behind. Never again! I have people at work now who are closer than those I lived with for three years :dry:

Only three years? That's not so bad... If I discount the time I've been deluded by a purely imaginary chance of a relationship It's been at least four and a half. The time for waiting is truly over, action is required...
 

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relationship issues, that was actually my reason for depression too, unrequited love,

well you could try therapy without pills, I suppose, it is a really difficult, I think i am lucky because I've been in a situation where I've not set down many roots yet I've been constantly in a state of change in life for about seven years,

but I wouldn't move if I was you. The first thing I did to get out of depression was every bloody thing to take my mind off my own life about four months, before I allowed prolonged thought of my life and where I was heading.

I know though thats really difficult, you might need to step back a bit, I remember I was looking at a pixelated version of my life, I just needed to look at the bigger picture. well I didn't actually know that at the time, that 20/20 vision from looking back but no one and nothing can get you out of your depression, only you, probs the therapy may help.

I only didn't take it coz am generally against it, I mean I know it has it's benifit's but I think it only does the ground work it doesn't help for long standing happiness but thats just my opinion.
 

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Therapy. Do some more research into it. Moving doesn't change how you feel about inside, It's a classic move tho.

I think when people are depressed(unless it's medical) I think it is kind of like their head is bobbing up and down in the water but they aren't doing something to stay up, every now and then they go back down. you might not feel like doing it, but you just need to do as dori would say from Nemo "keep on swimming keep on swimming" :p
 

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How do you know that your life is going nowhere? We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, next week, or years from now. I've suffered with depression since I was 9 or 10 years old. It hasn't been continuous, but the depression rears it's head every once and a while. Sometimes it's more intense than others.

But what I've learned is that even when things look hopeless, something tends to happen where in it, I realize that there is hope somewhere. There is something that I can work towards and something that gives me purpose and meaning in my life. I hope that you are able to find these things in what others think of as "ordinary things". I suppose that is how Ni saves people like us.

My best friend sounds similar to yours. Mine is much more proactive about things and if she doesn't like something, she will do what she can to fix it, that second. She doesn't care so much about what others think of her because of her actions, and because of that, she doesn't understand many aspects of me. She gets tired of my complaining and emotional ranting. She thinks it's the same thing over and over again and am too lazy to do anything to fix it. I don't know whether your friend is the same way, but she sounds similar to my friend. Even when I express my need to have an emotional outlet and person to listen to me and offer advice, my friend isn't always that understanding and supportive. In this, I recognize my need to have others available that I can turn to in need.

So, I don't think that turning to therapy would be such a horrible option. I see a counsellor and I don't think that makes me any less of a person than anyone else. I don't think that you'd put the same judgment on someone else who sought therapy, just yourself. Sometimes I feel that I should everything figured out and balanced on my own and that by not being perfect and put together, that I am somewhat of a failure. Maybe you feel the same way. Please know that if you do go to therapy, you are not admitting to yourself that you are a failure. You are admitting that you need a bit of guidance and wisdom because you are overwhelmed at the moment. This is not the same as being a failure. And I don't see anything wrong with seeking out this kind of advice from someone who is professionally trained in this area. It's your life after all and you deserve the best. :happy:

How do you know that you will deeply resent the counsellor or therapist? Many are deeply compassionate about the people that they help (they are there to help you) and they do it because they care about and enjoy the work. If you do end up getting therapy, please find a counsellor or therapist who is like this. I would suggest getting recommendations and referrals from people you trust. I don't know much about you, but if you are a student, maybe you can check with your university or college to see if they have any professionals that they are connected with. My current counsellor is someone who I found through a college that I attended. They connected me with someone back home and I have been seeing her ever since. Some counsellors and therapists will even let you meet them beforehand, in a casual setting, and let you decide whether you would like to go forward with therapy. If they are not someone who you feel comfortable with or you have changed your mind about getting therapy or counselling, they make sure you feel free to make that decision.

Also, counselling/therapy and psychiatric treatment are not mutually exclusive. You can go to therapy or counselling and not be on prescription medication. Although, sometimes medications can assist in the treatment. But I understand where you are coming from. I also feel very reluctant to go on these types of medications. One reason is that I have had bad experiences with several types of anti-depressants and have experienced different side effects. I am reluctant to be a doctor's guinea pig and have them keep trying different drugs to see which one works. Who knows how long that will take. Since the depression seems to come and go, I don't see the point. Also, there are personal feeling connected to it. I also feel like I am admitting that I am weak, when I turn to these types of medications. As I mentioned before, I often feel like I should be able to handle things on my own. In addition to this, there is the stigma that comes along with mental disorders. My own family puts me into a box and because I suffered from depression at one point in my life, I must be depressed for life. They associate depression as part of me, not something I suffered from at one point in my life. I am not depression and depression is not me. It is something that has plagued me for periods of my life, but it is not part of my identity. Sometimes I am reluctant to seek help because I feel like I am accepting others' judgment. I feel like I am admitting they are right and that depression is part of me and I will always be depressed.

Please note that medications are not something you should rule out completely. They do help many people and are not something that people always need to be on for extended periods of time.

But I understand if they make you uncomfortable. I feel the same way. I agree that people these days are often quick to turn to drugs to cover up their symptoms, without actually trying to deal with the cause. I also worry about the side effects, because of my past experiences. I worry about the effects that have on other parts of my body. I would much rather turn to natural alternatives. This may be something you want to look into. Sometimes we can be missing things from our diets that can make stress even more difficult to manage. You may also have some digestive problems which make it difficult for your body to absorb different nutrients and so any stress has a bad reaction on your body. At least, this is true for me.

Regarding the moving away bit, I can try to offer a bit of advice because I tried that too. A couple of years ago, I moved almost 2000 km away to try to figure things out. I had lived at home with my parents, who have never gotten along. The stress at home was driving me crazy and my parents put strict limits on what I could do. They treated me like a helpless child who could not do anything for herself. This has had a bad effect on my self-esteem. I wanted to move away because I felt that I could not truly mature by living at home. I am also a religious person, which my parents are not. They forbid me from going to church, so I wanted to have the freedom to do so. I moved away and discovered that much of my problems followed me there. I was still self-conscious and shy, even though my parents weren't there. I thought that having a fresh start would make it easier to reinvent myself. I thought I could be more outgoing because no one knew me there and wouldn't care if I did something out of character. But I found that I was the same quiet person that I always was. I hadn't changed much at all. I realized that there were things that I needed to deal with and work on within myself and that no distance could make them go away. I ended up spending a lot of money to discover this. But I am glad that I did what I did. I learned things that I may have otherwise not learned and I had experiences that others may have wished that they'd have had. It was somewhat of a spiritual experience, if anything at all. I moved back home because I got very sick and my college thought I wasn't ready for schooling. Since then, my parents have become somewhat more accepting of my beliefs and treat me like an eight year old instead of a six year old. Haha.

I don't know whether this helps you at all, but it may save you from spending a lot of money, only to discover something similar. I found out that I was pretty clueless when I was out there on my own. I had no one. No previously known friends and no family members. I was incredibly lonely. To be able to go on this trip, I ended up working a job that I hated for about six months and taking out a student loan. I wouldn't suggest doing something similar because working a job that you hate can tire you out even more and you might find that your will to try something new disappears. I found that my energy was sucked out. I also made the mistake of going back to the same job after I came back, which made me feel like that was the only thing I'd ever be able to do. If you can find something that isn't so draining and that you would enjoy doing while you save up money, then go for it. But you may find that by working such a job, you may not feel the need to move away anymore.

Right now, I think that you need all the support that you can get. This being your family and the few good friends that you have. If you move away right now, you will isolate yourself from these people. I don't think this would be a good decision, for the time being. I think that your best option would be to look towards therapy, which does not mean that you need to look at medication right away. You may find that you don't need it. I would suggest trying to improve your environment the best that you can. If you have a job that drains you, try to find one that is better suited to your abilities and gives you the most potential to grow and develop as a person. Just getting through the motions and doing a job that gets you a paycheque isn't something that we find fulfilling as INFJs. If your home life is stressing you out, try to find activities to do outside the home that can keep you a bit distracted from what's going on at home. If you find activities that you enjoy, you'll probably meet people who have similar interests and personalities like yours. Through positive interaction and by successfully completing things, you will feel better about yourself. At least, it works for me.

I hope this helped at least a little bit. If you need someone to talk to or have any questions, please feel free to PM me. I'm willing to listen. I hope you feel better soon, Asmit. :happy:
 

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My immediate side effects:
Escitalopram- Complete loss of feelings / lust (numb), sleepiness, drowsiness, dizziness.
Sertraline -
Oxazepam - Sleepiness, drowsiness, dizziness.

My side effects after 1 week:
Escitalopram -
Sertraline -
Oxazepam - Lowered effect

My side effects after 2+ weeks:
Escitalopram - Severe schizophrenia (Confusion, paranoia, hallucations, panic attacks)
Sertraline - Mild schizophrenia (Confusion, paranoia, panic attacks)
Oxazepam - Addiction (Hi, rehab)

You're better off smoking pot.
 

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I haven't had time to read through all the responses but I just wanted to scream at you:

"COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY!!!"

No drugs. It's becoming quite popular in the UK - my friend's sister went through the "curing" and is now one of the counsellors. It makes you take personal responsibility for your problem and ACT to get over them. It won't be easy, but if you are to cure your depression on your own then you'd have to do the exact same thing anyway, just with no support behind you.

I believe you will need to move eventually, for your own sanity, but not before you are at least part way through solving your problems...it can be tough to settle down in a new place if you are not mentally strong enough, and you will bring the whole of yourself with you, whichever state you are in. Best to start afresh when you are in a healthier, happier state.
 

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I agree with a lot of what others have said, moving wont solve the real problems, it's just avioding dealing with them. If aviodence is part of what's wrong then more of the same wont help.

If you have been depressed for years, then it's probably time to go see a theripist or councilor. I've had the odd issue with depression and I went to see a councilor after a series of really awful things that ended it a pretty trumatic event. I didn't get much out of it, BUT I didn't get much out of it because I dislike dwelling on and discussing my problems. I am usually very awair of what they are, and just want to get on with dealing with them. If you are someone who just really needs someone to talk to so you can start to understand your feelings and problems, or need advise on building confidence or relationships...even just an emotional outlet...well, counciling is probably something you'd benifit from.

Try a couple of counilors until you find one you click with, and feel comfortable around.This is really importaint if you want to benifit from it.

A councilor is far more informal than a theripist or psychiatrist, and they won't prescibe you pills. There is nothing weak about taking a decision to change your life for the better, and being strong enough to realise when you need to ask for help to do that. Often asking for help and admitting your difficulties is the braver thing to do.

Sometimes taking medication is the best option (though it might not be for you), especially if the problem is not you or your life, but that you have clinical depression...and it's this that is holding you back. If you have an illness, the sensible thing to do is get treatment.

As to forming connections with people, are there any societies or clubs you could join, classes you could take, volentary work you could do? This is a great way to meet new people, and when you share an interest it is easier to connect with them. Often people doing these things want to make friends and form connections too. I know it's not easy, but if you make yourself face things that you are nervouse about or find challenging you will feel better about yourself, you wont feel weak, you will feel braver and better inside. Over time, this can help you over come those negative feelings, and as you over come those you will find it easier to aprouch and get to know people, and so on.

I've found this is what has helped me over come my problems, and I feel really happy right now. Ok, there is more I want to do, but I am making progress and I am so much more confident than I was.

No matter what you decide, just remmeber you can over come this, and there are people out there who care and want to help.
 

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I haven't had time to read through all the responses but I just wanted to scream at you:

"COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY!!!"

No drugs. It's becoming quite popular in the UK - my friend's sister went through the "curing" and is now one of the counsellors. It makes you take personal responsibility for your problem and ACT to get over them. It won't be easy, but if you are to cure your depression on your own then you'd have to do the exact same thing anyway, just with no support behind you.

I believe you will need to move eventually, for your own sanity, but not before you are at least part way through solving your problems...it can be tough to settle down in a new place if you are not mentally strong enough, and you will bring the whole of yourself with you, whichever state you are in. Best to start afresh when you are in a healthier, happier state.
Cognative Behavioural Theripy is also a good option, I've not expirenced it myself, but I know someone who prapticed it, and it is a very possitive and proactive aprouch to depression and anxiety. I've had it recomended to me before, and I tend to recomend it to dyslexics I know who suffer with depresson and anxiety. Especially if it is based in negative past expirences, and trouble letting go of the past. It's very good at helping you let go of all that baggage.

But if you feel hesitant to acept help, just talking to someone informally might be a good way to start. It all depends on what sort of person you are.
 

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First of all; let's agree there is a difference between "feeling down" and "clinical depression". I think it is impossible to decide whether you are "just" going through a rough period or if you have a serious depression, but to me it sounds like clinical depression.

Medication is a complex issue, even more so because a pill that is working wonders for one person, may be of no help to another person. So it is not like doctors want to treat you like their guinea pig - it's just difficult to find the right medication for each patient. I have suffered clinical depression in the past, and I did benefit from the medication - even though it made me feel a bit numbed. But so what - having highs as well as lows removed for a few months was clearly a better alternative than feeling deeply depressed all the time. So please don't reject medication right away - you might benefit from giving it a try (most pills won't give effect before you've used them two or three weeks, though). And by the way - neither I do use paracetamol or anything like that. Physical pain is not a problem for me, because I have a high buffer for that (yup, have been tested for my fitness to martyrdom... :wink:).

You may find it a too stupid and simple advice, but I highly recommend physical activity. If you're into sports this is a good time to pursue that interest, but if you don't consider yourself the "active type"; go for long walks. When I was on sick leave for depression I took really long walks, every day. Some days I had to force myself, but I said to myself that if I only managed to do one thing during the day, it should be the walk. So when I returned to work, I had a nice tan and strong legs :laughing: But seriously, don't just sit inside and grumble - that will not help.

Regarding travelling: I've travelled quite a bit, and although it can be energizing, it can also be lonely. Remember that wherever you go, you carry yourself with you... Whichever troubles you carry before you leave, will definately be part of your baggage on the trip. Maybe you could take a long wekeend journey, going someplace with the intention of having a time-out. Don't travel with the intention of getting healed, but with the intention of doing what really interests you. For instance, if you're interested in museums, go some place where it is possible to visit a few, and just skip the tourist stuff. In your situation, I think moving away will be too drastic, and I doubt whether it will really help. Take a few shorter trips first, just to get away from home, instead of jumping into something big head on.

I don't know your age, where you live, or if you believe in something higher than yourself, but if it is an option to you; maybe you could have a chat with a priest? There are good ones and not so good ones, but they are quite used to talk with people with troubled minds, and their vow of silence is absolute. At least consider it as a starting point, as it may feel less intimidating than talking to a licensed therapist (and the value of therapy is not always what the therapist says, but the fact that the client is putting the feelings into words).

P.S. Forgive my long-winded answer. I hope you find it comprehensible.
 

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I'll agree with Mike and suggest marijuana. After that, I'd suggest therapy. I went there as a child and hated it and it did nothing for me. If I went to therapy today, I would get a kick out of it. I would turn all the questions back to the therapist and make a game out of it, try and learn a bit about them and they in turn learn a bit about me. lol
 

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If you really want to take the chance of screwing up your life, then please go ahead with the marijuana... Cannabis is not a good idea if you suffer from depression. For anxiety issues it may have its uses, but depression - nope. Worst case, you become psychotic. I've seen this at close range, and it is not a pretty sight. I don't care if you smoke weed when you're having a good time, but marijuana is bad mojo when you're down.
 

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Wow... that's a lot of replies in a short time. It's probably not worth quoting questions but here are some reactions and answers.

First thanks to all who have responded, even those with dubious suggestions. It is surprising that so many people have experience in this area when I know no-one who's been or practices counseling of any sort. Maybe if I had a wider social circle this would have been different...

So running away wont work, thanks for confirming that, counseling is the way to go.

Seems it is important to work out if it's depression or just feeling crap, I will admit to not knowing the difference. Am I stuck in the past? Not really, though my past wasn't great. Was this triggered by trauma? Maybe. There are certain things that just shouldn't be talked about on a public forum (in case you were wondering it's nothing to do with child abuse. Misguided parenting is a weak possibility, but not abuse). I'm more stuck in an ego that is based solely on what I am not rather than what I am. I am not so many things that there isn't much left to be. I have no personal aims in life, career aspirations or even list of 20 things to do before I die. Without an aim I am going nowhere.

"Pills work" - frankly I don't care, I'm not taking them. It's great to hear that there are treatments that don't need them and I will be looking in to these. At least marijuana grows on trees though I wont be going that route either. Been there, happy to have moved on...

My job. Yes, it sucks. It can be technically challenging and requires great accuracy which means it perfectly fits my skills (which is why I was moved there) but in terms of any kind of development or even interaction with others it is lacking. On the plus side there is no stress, comfortable working conditions, flexible hours and a nearby park to wander in at lunch. I'm sure there are many worse jobs although undoubtedly many better.

Exercise wise I walk to work and round the park at lunch and love wandering aimlessly on the nearby hills with my camera for a whole afternoon at the weekends, but anything more physical is competitive so I tend to avoid it as I'm not good (*slap* so get out there and practice!)

Clubs/societies/classes again, not really. I keep picking up the latest prospectuses of the local colleges and adult education things but anything that appeals is in the daytime - you can only have fun if you work shifts it seems. I live in a small town where everyone intelligent leaves at age 18 to go to uni and not many return until they retire while the rest get married and start a family at 16. There is martial arts and that's about it. Hence the idea of moving... Oh and plenty of opportunities for volunteering. Tried an afternoon at a fete at an old peoples home and I just wanted to kill them all, in the nicest possible way of course. Being pushed round in a wheelchair while either choosing not to or not being able to smile on what is supposed to be a fun afternoon is not life. Euthanasia would be kinder.

Sorry Nikki I have no idea what Nemo is, and I'm not keen on swimming?

BlissfulDreams: you will have PM shortly, thanks for the offer.
 

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If you really want to take the chance of screwing up your life, then please go ahead with the marijuana... Cannabis is not a good idea if you suffer from depression. For anxiety issues it may have its uses, but depression - nope. Worst case, you become psychotic. I've seen this at close range, and it is not a pretty sight. I don't care if you smoke weed when you're having a good time, but marijuana is bad mojo when you're down.
Let me start by asking how familiar you are with this drug? Next, how many people do you know have "Screwed up their life" due to it? What else was going on in their life? How does marijuana affect you? Notice there are a lot of questions and there are more to ask. You cannot point to pot and say "there is the culprit!" It's just not a good idea. I didn't smoke until I was 21 because it was demonized. I thought "drugs are bad!!" I smoke daily and I am better for it. Let me expand on that statement so that you don't take it the wrong way. When I am down and out and not very motivated to do anything, smoking will give me a clear idea of where I am at. I am normally an INFJ, but under the influence of marijuana I act more like an INTJ. There is a very apparent increase in mental acuity. So if before I was entering into a downward spiral of negative thoughts, now I will see "Oh, this is this and that is that. Do this to end up with this result. Ok, cool! Got that out of the way, now let's have fun!" Sometimes it's nice to be able to enjoy life in the moment, which INFJ's are notorious for not doing. We are too much future thinkers. Pot helps me see the here and now more clearly.

Keep in mind, if you are not a mature individual pot may hurt you more than help if you believe you MUST be high to enjoy life. This is not the case in my circumstance. I know how to live life without it, and I know when it's probably a good idea to smoke it.

Also, I am a 6w5. Anxiety is my number one problem. Hence why pot helps alleviate it.

Sorry, I just don't like it when people criticize pot. It's really been a HUGE help in my personal life.
 

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Let me start by asking how familiar you are with this drug? Next, how many people do you know have "Screwed up their life" due to it? What else was going on in their life? How does marijuana affect you? Notice there are a lot of questions and there are more to ask. You cannot point to pot and say "there is the culprit!" It's just not a good idea. I didn't smoke until I was 21 because it was demonized. I thought "drugs are bad!!" I smoke daily and I am better for it. Let me expand on that statement so that you don't take it the wrong way. When I am down and out and not very motivated to do anything, smoking will give me a clear idea of where I am at. I am normally an INFJ, but under the influence of marijuana I act more like an INTJ. There is a very apparent increase in mental acuity. So if before I was entering into a downward spiral of negative thoughts, now I will see "Oh, this is this and that is that. Do this to end up with this result. Ok, cool! Got that out of the way, now let's have fun!" Sometimes it's nice to be able to enjoy life in the moment, which INFJ's are notorious for not doing. We are too much future thinkers. Pot helps me see the here and now more clearly.

Keep in mind, if you are not a mature individual pot may hurt you more than help if you believe you MUST be high to enjoy life. This is not the case in my circumstance. I know how to live life without it, and I know when it's probably a good idea to smoke it.

Also, I am a 6w5. Anxiety is my number one problem. Hence why pot helps alleviate it.

Sorry, I just don't like it when people criticize pot. It's really been a HUGE help in my personal life.

Yes, I am very familiar with the drug, thank you. From personal experience as well as observation of friends etc.

I've worked in a psychiatric ward, where we had a number of patients with what is just called "cannabis induced psychosis" (Google is your friend). Whether the psychosis is caused by or augmented by the drug is debatable (like the chicken and egg discussion...) and probably differs from one case to the next, but the point is that if you are in mentally instable state, any substance that make your brain deviate from its normal condition and functioning can (suddenly and unexpected) act as a "trigger", causing chemical imbalance.

Please do take the time to reread my post, which was not part of a discussion on the general topic "Should marijuana be legalized?". My post was a response to a specific person who either is feeling really down or may have a clinical depression. Sorry if it was unclear, but I didn't say "Whoever smokes weed turns into a zombie for the rest of his life"...

Yes, the drug may have been a huge help for you in your personal life, but the experience of one single person is not sufficient to make general recommendations. If we think of cannabis as just one type of drug (in comparison to various other drugs, legal or illegal) - it should be pretty obvious that what is good medicine for one patient may be bad medicine for another patient. If you had taken a specific pill and responded well to that medication, would you recommend the same pill to somebody else without medical and psychological evaluation? Remember, no matter if it is a pill or a joint, it still affects the chemistry of the brain.
 
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Your original post was too unclear to be of any practical advice. You just said "bad idea" as far as marijuana recommendation. It is very apparent that not everyone will benefit from it the same way or at all. I mentioned this.
 

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I don't see much of a point in making this an endless debate, but my recommendation was - and is - clear: "Cannabis is not a good idea if you suffer from depression."

If you feel the need to defend your own use of the drug I've got no problem with that, but I do have a problem with recommending any drug - legal or illegal - without medical and psychological evaluation. Most doctors won't even consider recommending marijuana, which leaves the patient to selfdiagnose and selfmedicate (with possibly harmful results).

Now, go eat your five fruits, to keep the doctor away :laughing:
 

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I'm depressed and my life is going nowhere. The only real friend I had has told me that she will no longer "enable my wallowing" by listening to me and that I need to sort things for myself and I completely agree. Moaning about stuff is not going to fix anything so I actually need to do something. But what? I wont bore you with all the details but I've narrowed it to two choices - some kind of therapy or moving somewhere interesting.

The idea of therapy feels worse than suicide to me, I have to fully admit that I'm such a bad person I must pay to have someone listen and hopefully help. It's true, but I hate it. Keeping regular appointments with someone I deeply resent before even meeting them doesn't sound appealing at all. I also mentally connect therapy with "happy pills" which I will refuse (I don't even take paracetamol) as I see them as an admission that I'm not good enough. "Have a problem? Take a pill!" There is no incentive to actually fix problems these days when they can just be glazed over (I hope this doesn't offend anyone, it's how I see it so must be said)

The other option is doing absolutely nothing for a year to save enough money to move somewhere and survive without a job for an unknown length of time. This kind of planning is completely alien to me, I refuse to think about Christmas until at least November - it's miles away! Doing this isn't a guaranteed recipe for success either, there would just be more people around who already have their partners and social groups that I'd have to force my way into and I'll still be the same quiet person I am now. Hopefully I'd find an interesting group to join and get in that way but I don't have any sociable interests at the moment. Even if I love me for all my undeniable gifts everyone else does not or I do not display them (you can claim otherwise if you like, but if it weren't so I'd have some friends) and this would not change. Plus I wouldn't even have my family nearby to visit so this may actually make the isolation worse.

Any experiences of either route would be appreciated, positive or negative...
Location is not going to determine happiness. Happiness is excepting your life as it is in the present moment, so you have to learn to enjoy life regardless of circumstances or else you will forever be unhappy.

I have gone to a psychologist before and a counselor a couple times... it helps to evaluate the entire situation and perhaps help you see more of the big picture than you are allowing yourself to see at the moment when your depressed.
 
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