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I was raised in a strict Christian household and was overly protected from the world. TV, music and movies were highly controlled as were my friendships and things I did, so I grew up not knowing cultural references, rather lonely and scared of the world.

Now as an adult there are still times when people go, "This was on the radio when we were kids, remember?!?" and the problem is that I've never heard it. It's a case of you don't know what you don't know. I also get lost quite easily and it makes me panic when I'm disorientated.

I'm now a strong willed ESTJ and athiest so I'm quite different than when I was a kid. What I often think about is, "I wish my parents did ______ differently." Do you have resentments against your parents as to how they raised you?
 

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Nice thread topic~

The first thing that comes to mind for me was to be homeschooled during K-12 rather than being sent to public school because honestly, public school systems in this country are garbage >.> and I didn't gain much from going to them. I was homeschooled for two years when my mom was finally fed up with public school BS, but then she sent me back to public school because she thought I wasn't getting enough socialization with my peers. Then we moved to a new area that she said she hoped would give me a better chance at having friends, when really the new place was worse than the old. That brief time in homeschool was may more fun to me and I learned more in those two years than I did in all of my public school life combined. In public school, all I really learned was how to hate my life, be sneaky about skipping class and getting away with delinquent type activities. Homeschool had learning about math, science, history, writing, literature and art. I should have stayed in homeschool until I graduated high school level because seriously, wtf is the point of public schooling???

I also wish that my parents raised me in a multilingual home so I'd have a better grasp on their native languages. We're an immigrant family and they both came from different countries and are fluent in different languages, but they never wanted to raise me with anything but English because we "live in the US now so you don't need anything besides English". I think being multilingual is pretty cool so I'm studying the languages on my own but... it would have been nice to have started off with them from the get-go in childhood. Fluency would have been way easier.

...ha both of mine are about learning. //typical INTP maybe
 
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Sent me to an actual gifted school where I would have been able to succeed by using my skills instead of sticking me with the average children and forcing me to find a way to mask myself.

Seriously, children are mini psychopaths. They are ridiculously primitive and will shred those that are different. Don't stick someone rational but not yet matured with this crowd.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
...ha both of mine are about learning. //typical INTP maybe
I went to a public school as well, it was a cost and locality measure. Kids can be pigs, especially if you are a quiet kid who doesn't want any trouble. If I had to define my school days, lonely would probably be the best word. Was that something I wish my parents did better? Well they couldn't control the school environment per se, I just wish they were a bit more intuitive to see that I was spending school holidays alone, not being social etc
 

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Nope. My parents did the best they could to raise their children. They have 3 kids all with difficult personalities (INFJ, ISTJ, and ISFP).

What I really appreciate was that they pretty much left us alone. They didn't try to "mold" us to be something they wanted us to be. Doing so, we were free to find our own ways and be who we are.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't always appreciative. Had my bitching period in my 20s about my formative years. But as I got older I realized how lucky I was to be my parents' daughter.
 

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I wished my parents practiced healthy conflict resolution rather than just projecting and throwing ad hominem attacks at each other.

I can respect a parent's instinct to protect their child from "life's troubles", but as a child I had more respect for an adult who included my contributions to conflict resolution and trouble shooting. It encouraged me to become a more efficient critical thinker and effective communicator while still maintaining respect for the adult/child hierarchy.
 

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My parents did the best they could. Unfortunately for dad, that wasn't very good; he really shouldn't have had children. Mum was our saving grace but she sacrifices her self and happiness for everyone else, which is no way to live. I wish she'd had the nerve and confidence to leave him after my last brother was born.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
My parents did the best they could.
Yeah my parents did they best they could and I am thankful for a lot for them. Why do you feel your Dad isn't a good father?
 

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I think overall my parents did a decent job. The one thing I wish they did was give me more responsibilities. I like the amount of freedom I had overall, but I never had any chores, I never had to clean my room, there was nothing I ever had to do regularly like that, so I just never got into the habit of doing it.
 

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Develop hobbies with me. Like regularly put models together or learn how to use a chemistry set or draw with me. My parents did sometimes generally encourage my interest in science but they rarely ever did things with me and never on a consistent basis.

Some people will probably dedicate themselves to things regardless, but I think in my case that as a child I might have turned out better with more direct guidance.
 

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I wish my mother either decided to have children because she wanted children and not just to please my father or at least worked through her emotional issues before having children.

I wish my father wasn't as afraid of himself so he could have been in my life more.

Of course, these are wished for no reason at all because I love who I am and all I've learned from both of my parents. The negative and positive both teach in negative and positive ways.
 

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I'm really grateful for how my parents raised me ^^!
I think they did a great job especially since I wasn't the most easy kid (I was extremely stubborn sometimes :p)
Of course no-one is absolutely perfect in raising a kid, so mine neither, but the 'mistakes' they've made also shaped me the way I am.
So I wouldn't wish they have done anything different :D
 

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My parents did the best they could. Unfortunately for dad, that wasn't very good; he really shouldn't have had children. Mum was our saving grace but she sacrifices her self and happiness for everyone else, which is no way to live. I wish she'd had the nerve and confidence to leave him after my last brother was born.
I am sorry to say. But I strongly resonate with the exact things you wrote. They did their best, but it was not ideal for a child to grow up in, and I was a mistake in that sense they never wanted me, but I came anyway.

I wish mine were more stable, openminded, and passionated.
 

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I was a mistake in that sense they never wanted me, but I came anyway.
I was a mistake too. More of a 'whoops!' mistake than a 'we didn't want children' mistake. My youngest brother was also an accident. Just the middle one was planned - and I think it's fair to say he is the most balanced of the 3 of us.
 

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I love my parents
I appreciate everything they did for me providing shelter, food, etc.
I do wish, though, that they gave me freedom. I'm 22 now and I still live with them and I have absolutely no privacy. I still have a curfew. I wasn't able to dress myself until I was 21. Even now I have trouble leaving my house without having an argument with my mother about what I should wear to work. Controlling what/when I eat. Who I can spend my time with. The list goes on
I feel like the lack of freedom, and their controlling nature resulted in me being extremely rebellious.
I know it's a way to care but it's doing more harm than help.
 
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