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Kay, so... I start college on Monday. And I am terrified that I won't make any friends.
I know that if I think that way, it might turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I can't snap out of it..
So, if you all could be so kind as to give advice as the best way to function socially (not that I'm totally inept or anything...) in college as an ENFP, I will be very grateful. :)
 

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Get involved! Make a point to get involved right from the start; it will make things so much easier. Does your school have an activity fair or something of the sort? A lot of times colleges do that, where representatives from most groups and activities are there and there are sign-up sheets for more information, more free pens than you would ever need, and just a lot of really cool people. I'd definitely check that out if there is one. I started college being a little bit involved in a lot of things and over the years was able to weed out what I didn't really feel like investing time in. It was great because I got to try a lot, and meet a lot of really great people. Of course, 'getting involved' could also look like simply making a point to get to know the people sitting next to you in class.

But honestly? Going into college, people tend to be friendlier than usual. Everyone is thinking about whether or not they will make friends/fit in/be happy. I mean, if ever there is a time when it's more socially acceptable and useful to be an ENFP, the first few weeks of college might be it. Use your extroversion to your advantage. :)


It can be super intimidating, I know. But the best advice I can give is to get involved and to really live into your ENFP qualities and seek friendships out. If you put yourself out there, the rest should just fall into place. Eventually. Sometimes it takes a bit of time. And sometimes the friends you form out of convenience at the beginning of college (same dorm, same classes, etc.) aren't the friends you'll keep all through college. A few of mine were; a lot weren't. But through them I met a lot of friends that I did keep all through college. And quite honestly, a couple of my best friends from college are friends I didn't meet until second semester of my junior year. It's not like if you haven't found people you click with by the end of first semester you never will. Friends happen the whole way along.


Good luck! College is a great experience, and I'm sure you'll be fine. :)
 

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I'm not sure I buy into the self-fulfilling prophecy angle since I've needlessly worried about a million things that turned out to be the complete opposite of my fears. But, of course, try not to worry... it's a waste of energy.

I'm exited for you! College is so much fun intellectually and socially. I never joined any groups, it's not really my thing, but I made a lot of friends anyhow. Just be yourself. Try to talk to people before and after class, joke around, ask them questions about themselves and any interesting events coming up etc... Share observations about class/professors/annoying students.

It'll all be good. Good luck and keep us posted.
 

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I was exactly like that the summer prior to my first year. Seriously though, don't spend too much time worrying about it. College is so different from high school. You'll most certainly find friends who have great depth and share your humor and interests. I managed to make a number of friends in my dorm despite being incredibly worried that I wouldn't find anyone at all. My advice would be to be to really put yourself out there. Say hi to everyone. Leave your door open, and walk around the hallways of your dorm; see if other people leave their doors open. If you see an open room, stop in and introduce yourself. Also, really spend some time hanging out in your dorm lounge. You'll get to know a bunch of people that way. I also agree with other people's advice to get involved in extracurriculars. I found that most of the friendships I formed were with people in my dorm or in my extracurriculars. I think it's a bit hard to get to know people from your classes in college.
 

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Be your ENFP self, people will automatically be drawn to you. Don't change anything about who you are. In a few Mts you'll be wishing you didn't have to choose between this one and that one...ha!! Try not to over think what you should be doing, just let everything flow naturally. Good luck, have fun :)
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I was exactly like that the summer prior to my first year. Seriously though, don't spend too much time worrying about it. College is so different from high school. You'll most certainly find friends who have great depth and share your humor and interests. I managed to make a number of friends in my dorm despite being incredibly worried that I wouldn't find anyone at all. My advice would be to be to really put yourself out there. Say hi to everyone. Leave your door open, and walk around the hallways of your dorm; see if other people leave their doors open. If you see an open room, stop in and introduce yourself. Also, really spend some time hanging out in your dorm lounge. You'll get to know a bunch of people that way. I also agree with other people's advice to get involved in extracurriculars. I found that most of the friendships I formed were with people in my dorm or in my extracurriculars. I think it's a bit hard to get to know people from your classes in college.
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I'm worried about that last statement. I'm not staying at a campus this year, actually; I'm staying at home for the year. BUT I am signed up for this "first year advisory council" thingy and plan to get involved in some other interest groups, which is different than what I did in high school (I.e, stay in my own little world), so I'm hoping that helps a bit...
 

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I'm worried about that last statement. I'm not staying at a campus this year, actually; I'm staying at home for the year. BUT I am signed up for this "first year advisory council" thingy and plan to get involved in some other interest groups, which is different than what I did in high school (I.e, stay in my own little world), so I'm hoping that helps a bit...
Hmm, I'll be totally honest with you and say that the friends I know that lived off-campus at their colleges found it a little bit more of a challenge establishing themselves as fixtures in any group of friends. However, they did eventually settle into groups they felt comfortable with. You ask how to function in this new social context as an ENFP. Well, for starters, I actually think that your personality type gives you an advantage. My ENFP friends from home have really adjusted well to the college environment. In fact, quite a few of them thrived in this new social setting. All I can say is be your usual warm, fun-loving, and outgoing self and you'll easily find other other people on campus who are looking to make new friends.
 

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Hmm, I'll be totally honest with you and say that the friends I know that lived off-campus at their colleges found it a little bit more of a challenge establishing themselves as fixtures in any group of friends. However, they did eventually settle into groups they felt comfortable with. You ask how to function in this new social context as an ENFP. Well, for starters, I actually think that your personality type gives you an advantage. My ENFP friends from home have really adjusted well to the college environment. In fact, quite a few of them thrived in this new social setting. All I can say is be your usual warm, fun-loving, and outgoing self and you'll easily find other other people on campus who are looking to make new friends.
Okay... ill trust your judgment, though it'll take some work. My inner ENFP hasn't stepped outside for quite some time. >.>I
 

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Kay, so... I start college on Monday. And I am terrified that I won't make any friends.
I know that if I think that way, it might turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I can't snap out of it..
So, if you all could be so kind as to give advice as the best way to function socially (not that I'm totally inept or anything...) in college as an ENFP, I will be very grateful. :)
if you are going to be living at home then it doesnt really matter if you make friends there, if you are going to be in a dorm then there is going to be someone that is as scared about starting as you are for sure. My friend went abroad with her university and she was really nervous but dispite being naturally quiet she made friends just because everyone there knew no one and they all were looking for friends. You will be fine, chances are you will make so many friends, they will want you to go party all the time and you wont have time for homework!
 

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Yeah, I only lived on campus for one semester. I didn't like the dorm life (even though I had an extremely cool roommate). I require a bit more space, so I got an apartment with some friends. And again, I made friends from class so it's completely doable, but you do have to take initiative. It's not that hard to do though. Just strike up a conversation.
 

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My Advice:

Stop caring.
Don't try or you'll be FAKE.
Don't give a fuck about who will like or will not like you from the get go.
Don't fly all up in people's faces, it annoys even me.



w/ Courtesy and slight/wide smiles, as you probably are naturally (I am assuming you are like me when I started college). Everyone else is basically young, fresh and new here, you are not alone. MANY people will be anxious about making friends too. Many will not know anyone.


Say hello and hi and good morning etc (how ever you greet people) to the people who are around you or who make eye contact with you. If you are an extreme extrovert, let it be know from the get go... socialize shamelessly if that is what you do. If that is not what you do... dont do it.

I am not social with strangers, but when I just started college it was just awkward and everyone was shy and tensed.. so I and one of my good friends now "Broke the ice" for the people in my class-group... In this way we helped the shy lil ones to come out of their corners and interact.

dont get all carried away... keep your head on and know from now that some people will put forward false faces... the people you talk to Monday may stick around for a few weeks/months... you probably wont meet your best friends/most compatible people from the jump. All in due time... you WILL have friends... you are an ENFP, you are like the sticky paper and they are the flies. So the question is really, making friend quickly... as I say, dont rush it.


BE YOU!!


btw... Congrats on college.. Its a big deal.. do your best for tough times ahead economically! Make the most of it! What are you studying?
 

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Well if you don't make any friends at University, try making some from clubs/organisations in the same general area, so you will at least have people to meet up with outside of school. I made a friend when I was walking the dog the other day, at the park. Totally random.

I don't think your fears are unfounded because sometimes the things we worry about do happen. You probably will make friends though, so try not to worry! Most of the people starting will have the same fears.

The advice given so far as been excellent. I just wanted to offer a different perspective, not as a pessimest, but just in case things do go badly.

Also, its better to be ignored than disliked. Not that you will be.
 

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Kay, so... I start college on Monday. And I am terrified that I won't make any friends.
I know that if I think that way, it might turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I can't snap out of it..
So, if you all could be so kind as to give advice as the best way to function socially (not that I'm totally inept or anything...) in college as an ENFP, I will be very grateful. :)
You ready for the best part about being an ENFP?

People are naturally drawn to you!

When I worked as an Orientation Leader for my college i watched a handful of kids look like scared sheep. All of the kids who were "Top of the Game" in high school, you know the cliques, popular kids, etc are now back at ground zero. Most people when removed from their cliques become scared and uncomfortable. ENFPS thrive in those environments and in fact this is why most of us do well in the real world. We always look at life as a lesson and never say, "wow, I miss my glory days in high school/college."

Now is your opportunity to become a new person with new people and friends. There is no reason to be scared. In fact, grasp the new situation like an ENFP and revel in the new experiences you will have!

Put a smile on and watch yourself become the most appreciated person in your freshmen class. It happened to me and can happen to you!

And talk to anybody. The nerds, the jocks, the sassy girls, the antho kids, the film kids, etc! That is what I did and still do. It will makes you much loved by everyone. Oh and get involved in things you like. I do film, IT, car club, culinary arts club, orchestra, and on the weekends I party... hard ;)
 

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You ready for the best part about being an ENFP?

People are naturally drawn to you!

When I worked as an Orientation Leader for my college i watched a handful of kids look like scared sheep. All of the kids who were "Top of the Game" in high school, you know the cliques, popular kids, etc are now back at ground zero. Most people when removed from their cliques become scared and uncomfortable. ENFPS thrive in those environments and in fact this is why most of us do well in the real world. We always look at life as a lesson and never say, "wow, I miss my glory days in high school/college."

Now is your opportunity to become a new person with new people and friends. There is no reason to be scared. In fact, grasp the new situation like an ENFP and revel in the new experiences you will have!

Put a smile on and watch yourself become the most appreciated person in your freshmen class. It happened to me and can happen to you!
Yeah, what He said!
 

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I agree with what everyone has said. I attended college for two years and stayed in a dorm. I agree with whoever said that it was a bit much. I liked and I didn't like it. My second year I had a dorm room by myself and I liked that the best. Dorms are just too tight quarters to have to deal with another person for me. Oh but, I did party way too much and my grades suffered. :(

I also attended a commuter University for two years. I really enjoyed it and I made a lot of friends in study hall, classes, eating on campus, etc. I also met a lot of people because I worked as tutor in the computer and math lab. Less distractions and my grades were a whole lot better. :)

I can understand being overwhelmed by a new experience. Attending college is a big step. But, as others have said you do have an advantage with possessing the characteristics of being ENFP. From my experience, people do tend to migrate towards me and be drawn to my personality.

As far as clubs and organizations go, this is an excellent idea that others have recommended. I still participate in them because I love meeting new people and I get to learn new things to boot. I would like to recommend Toastmasters, if there is a chapter on your campus.

My college experience has always been one of the favorite highlights of my life. I still reflect fondly of my college days and am still in contact with many of my college buddies. Enjoy every moment because it goes by fast. Wishing you the best! :D
 

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Hi!

I'm sure you will do exceptionally well - do not fret. You have much built into yourself that allows you to thrive in the college environment, socially. Just be yourself!

I was determined to be more of an extrovert when I went to college, and I believe I succeeded. I would speak to everyone and anyone as I was walking across the campus. I'd start random conversations. I'd always smile... As you can see, it took effort for me but for you it will be effortless! /jealous!

"What's your name/major/origin/etc?"
 
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Discussion Starter #19
btw... Congrats on college.. Its a big deal.. do your best for tough times ahead economically! Make the most of it! What are you studying?
Right now, my major is Exploratory, but I'm taking Sociology and Oceanography (other thn my basic math and english classes) to see how I like it before maybe going back to theatre.
 

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As far as clubs and organizations go, this is an excellent idea that others have recommended. I still participate in them because I love meeting new people and I get to learn new things to boot. I would like to recommend Toastmasters, if there is a chapter on your campus.
I haven't been given too much information about the clubs, but I've definitely got my eye on the anime, improv, and theatre appreciation clubs :D I'm looking forward to that and getting a job on campus
 
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