Well, everyone. Here I am again on the forums coming in once in a while when I have nothing else to do.
Anyways, down to business.
Anyways, many of you have (or will) realized I am in the military on active duty, which means deployment deployment deployment (year in length); within a year from now I will boots on the ground wherever.
Now the deployment is only part of the problem, of course I actually have been wanting to deploy anyways.
My own father of 68 years old suffered a stroke back in July effecting his visual cortex amongst other areas of his brain and his behavior has been somewhat self destructive with his attempting to do things on his own, resulting in personal injuries.
My father I hold very dear to myself, I live over 1000 miles away from my hometown where he lives still so going to see him is difficult. He has diabetes, high blood pressure, the works of degenerative diseases possible for an older American male. Which makes me wonder about the chances of him kicking the bucket or getting into worse shape during the next two years without any chance of me being able to be there.
Now being a single 19 year old male living in a city that is not his own, I have been trying to get in on the dating scene looking for a serious relationship, however personal logic stresses that in order to best safeguard the emotions of me and the potential significant other in the long run it would be wise to not pursue such a relationship. This is resulting in me flipping out internally as an INTJ does and even staying up at night because of my conscious not wanting to rest over the issue.
I absolutely despise emotions and the $hit they're sending me through. Input is welcome.