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Lotus Jester
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I don't understand people who think this way at all: do horrendous things to others and then laugh at the wreckage they've caused; then manage to still pat themselves on the back for it. If I had caused another human being that level of harm; I wouldn't be able to sleep from the guilt. So, a serious question, if you're forced to deal with one of these individuals who is entirely incapable of remorse for the despicable things they do; how can you handle it? How do you tamp down the overwhelming emotional revulsion?
 
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I don't understand people who think this way at all: do horrendous things to others and then laugh at the wreckage they've caused; then manage to still pat themselves on the back for it. If I had caused another human being that level of harm; I wouldn't be able to sleep from the guilt. So, a serious question, if you're forced to deal with one of these individuals who is entirely incapable of remorse for the despicable things they do; how can you handle it? How do you tamp down the overwhelming emotional revulsion?
I would use less emotional reasoning and a lot of logical consequence reasoning with that individual; repeatedly point out boundaries and their violations and say "not acceptable" often; and use both positive and negative peer pressure.
 

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EvilShoutyRudolph
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I don't understand people who think this way at all: do horrendous things to others and then laugh at the wreckage they've caused; then manage to still pat themselves on the back for it. If I had caused another human being that level of harm; I wouldn't be able to sleep from the guilt. So, a serious question, if you're forced to deal with one of these individuals who is entirely incapable of remorse for the despicable things they do; how can you handle it? How do you tamp down the overwhelming emotional revulsion?
Well what did you expect? They lack emotional empathy, and have an inability to process emotions. They would obviously not feel any guilt, because they are incapable of feeling guilt! That is just how they were born, and that is just how they work.

I don't know how you would handle it, but I do know that you have to look at all of these situations logically. Whether you like it or not, psychopaths simply can't see the boundaries, and won't follow the rules, even if you point it out to them.

Here is a website with some tips for dealing with psychopaths:
How to Deal With a Psychopath | Psychopath Victims
 

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If they commit a crime, throw their crazy butt in prison. Or put them in the wacky shack (or somewhere where they can live a monitored life for the safety of other people).
 

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Heretic
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Create a situation where you seem useless to them, pretend to be devastated by them losing interest.
Walk away and never look back.
 

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^

That, but be warned... they will return a few times to test the waters again. Shoot down every attempt and emphasize your happiness without them (Note, do not say you are happy without them, that will make them want to accept the challenge of distorting your happiness. Just express the events that give you happiness, and let him make the connection - if they try to bring up the past in an attempt to lure you back in, gloss over it nonchalantly as if it doesn't matter and stay self-focused). They will leave for good after that.
 

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Well what did you expect? They lack emotional empathy, and have an inability to process emotions. They would obviously not feel any guilt, because they are incapable of feeling guilt! That is just how they were born, and that is just how they work.

I don't know how you would handle it, but I do know that you have to look at all of these situations logically. Whether you like it or not, psychopaths simply can't see the boundaries, and won't follow the rules, even if you point it out to them.

Here is a website with some tips for dealing with psychopaths:
How to Deal With a Psychopath | Psychopath Victims
That website has a lot of good advice.

Yeah, I dated one - I don't know that I'd use the term "psychopath", but you could check basically every box on a sociopathic checklist with this guy. The relationship sucked but I was never seriously hurt by it simply for the fact that I kept my emotional distance and trusted myself before him.

The best advice you can get is just to avoid the person if AT ALL possible. If you stay around them, they're gonna fuck with you one way or another, just trust me. If you absolutely have to be around the person, there're a few things you can do to minimize the damage though.

First, don't ever allow them to push your boundaries if you can help it. You should be able to tell when they're trying something shitty on you/lying/being a dickwad, and you need to trust yourself. They'll do things to make you feel like you can't trust yourself, like you're wrong. They'll gaslight you, and often they're really good at it. Remind yourself of that over and over as you're dealing with them - always trust yourself. If you feel them pushing a boundary, just get away. Don't call them out on it, just minimize interaction on your way out.

Second is if they do upset you, don't let them see it. If they delight in that shit, and if you show them that a particular thing they did upset you, they'll just do it more. It's like training a dog, but the trick is whatever bullshit they pull on you, and the treat is your despair.

Third piece of advice I have is don't let what they are upset you - be as objective as you possibly can about it. Maybe this isn't possible for some people, but they can't help it any more than you can help being what you are. It's like a form of emotional retardation, they just can't feel the emotions many of us feel that stop us from being jerks. If you let their being upset you, you're just hurting yourself. They are what they are, get over it and move on, and keep being awesome.

And of course, like the article posted said, a strong support system is always good in any situation.
 

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I don't understand people who think this way at all: do horrendous things to others and then laugh at the wreckage they've caused; then manage to still pat themselves on the back for it. If I had caused another human being that level of harm; I wouldn't be able to sleep from the guilt. So, a serious question, if you're forced to deal with one of these individuals who is entirely incapable of remorse for the despicable things they do; how can you handle it? How do you tamp down the overwhelming emotional revulsion?
Of course you dont understand it, you won't unless you're a psychopath.
I agree a lot with the article Clivy shared. It was stuff I was gonna say anyway, particularly to mentally prepare yourself before interacting with them and just don't give any indication whatsoever that that they've done has the slightest effect on you.

Studies that have looked into how a psychopath's brain works have shown how a psychopath, when they look at another human, they don't see them as a human. They see them as a thing. In a psychopath's brain, you're just a thing for them to get enjoyment out of based on your reaction and if they can cause genuine hurt and grief, for many, it causes them to triumph. If you don't react to what they do, they will likely become bored and seek another target.

Of course the above, from what I know, applies only to genuine psychopaths, which are relatively rare, thankfully, but the advice in the article can apply to pretty much anyone who lacks empathy for fellow humans, such as sociopaths and narcissists.
 
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Lotus Jester
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If they commit a crime, throw their crazy butt in prison. Or put them in the wacky shack (or somewhere where they can live a monitored life for the safety of other people).
That's kind of a myth - that psychopaths are all criminals; although the prison system at any one time; has a much higher representation of them, than in the general population.



 

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Rarely do we actually end up dealing with genuine psychopaths, and it might actually be preferable for the more common case, because most people who cause harm just refuse to see it or acknowledge it in the first place, precisely because they want to sleep at night, instead all they see are the reactions to harm, rewriting the narratives in their head so that the reactions, accusations and criticism are themselves ill-intended harm, and we all know what to do with those...
 

 

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I think it depends on the individual circumstances for each situation, how close you are or were, how much they're focused on you, how much power they have compared to how much power you have, the lengths they're willing to go to and the lengths you're willing to go to. The first choice would be to ignore and avoid, but someone who's really focused on destroying you won't allow you to ignore or avoid them. They will simply push harder and harder until you inevitably react. Whenever I've known of anyone with psychopathic tendencies focus intently on an individual (as in very serious cases) the only thing that's deterred them is violence or very real threats of violence. It's got to be significant enough to intimidate them, though. They will still continue use whatever power they're left with, but it's limited to small area's with little impact, such as giving mutual friends them-or-you ultimatums.
 

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Lotus Jester
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@Kynx : Hands down - Most.Insightful.Post. in the entire thread.
 
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I don't understand people who think this way at all: do horrendous things to others and then laugh at the wreckage they've caused; then manage to still pat themselves on the back for it. If I had caused another human being that level of harm; I wouldn't be able to sleep from the guilt. So, a serious question, if you're forced to deal with one of these individuals who is entirely incapable of remorse for the despicable things they do; how can you handle it? How do you tamp down the overwhelming emotional revulsion?
Having to live with them can be a serious problem. Looking back, it’s best to dissociate from them physically, than to keep dissociating mentally.

I also think its best to acknowledge that people like that, transfer all their insecurities and weaknesses onto you when it’s really their faults and issues that they’re failing to manage. I think understanding that can help you get across whatever problem it is you’re having with these people. For example, an individual like that, may tell you “be afraid” that there massive consequences that you would need to face over very small things and then yell and abuse you - but it’s actually a lesson that they have failed to learn themselves. they need to stop acting in such an abrasive manner, if they are to be loving and have healthy relationships in life. (Which are crucial for development). The moment of clarity comes when all the abuse and hatred is all a product of the mind that conceived of it and placed it intimately into the world.

also being different and considering differences can be a good thing, as well as a bad thing (in the case of anxiety regarding psychopathy in society) , considering the former is much more productive than considering the latter . (I hope this makes sense)
 

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@Chesire Tower I don't know if this is just a general enquiry, but if it's actually a problem you're experiencing and you want to talk, you're welcome to pm me.
 
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It's best to stay away or severely loosen any kind of relationships you have with such a person.

Also try to be boring. Limit conversation topics to meaningless smalltalk and talk about nothing personal. Be unemotional and totally unimpressed when they brag about how awesome they are. Try to make him lose interest in you.

Don't take anything from them and never accept help. Tell them you're fine on your own. They like to do something that looks like genuine friendly support just in order to remind about it months later in order to get something from you. It's their leverage used to manipulate.

Similar thing is when they manipulate you into thinking you committed a kind of faux pas or behave like a douchebag just in order to forgive you and remind about it later and use it as moral/emotional blackmail.

Don't try to manipulate back. It's like a beginning chess player thinking he can outplay Garry Kasparov. Don't take up fights you cannot win.
 
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rewriting the narratives
THAT right there.
They are very, VERY much lead by narrative. Psychopaths tend to want something: to have fun (think of the Joker), or to go up social or corporate ladders, megalomaniacs (think Putin, or the president of NK). Then they will deal with it in any way, with no humanity in the formula.
This may be really weird/terrible to say, but when I think of psychopathy, I think of my type and ESTP's.
Why:
You get excited about things that happen, you want to consume life, and your way of judging things is Ti. That means that you don't have to add values and meaning to anything you do. It's just fun, and that's it. You approach everything impersonally and logically.
Then you have an Fe that is only developed to know how to get what you want from people. So you'll push any buttons, get the reaction you are looking for, then leave.
I'm only mentioning this so that you get a better understanding of how they may work.
I'm not saying ENTP's or ESTP's are psychopaths. I'm not one. Most of us are not one. I AM describing us at our worst. I HAVE been called a psychopath before, MANY times (mainly because I kept on taking pictures of my friends while they slept. No, I never published any of them. They called it psychopathy, I call it art). But, oh my gosh, I'm not a psychopath. I've met many, and I'm not one.

I have never had a hard time dealing with "psychopaths" (borrowing the use of the term to mean the problematic person described in the beginning). Mostly because if they presented a threat to people I love, I simply let them know I'll employ drastic measures against them. Whatever function they use to pick up on other people's reactions will be help them fully aware that I'm not freaking joking and will not hesitate on doing what I have to in order to get rid of them. I don't even have to get mad. I just need to behave like the terminator. If what they do is REALLY bad, as in, it breaks the law, get whatever authority figure you can trust to deal with the matter correctly. Get HR, get the Police, etc.
Oh boy, does that really take the fun away from it for psychopaths. "Really, you're gonna call mom and dad?" Yep!
Unless they themselves are power figures, there' s not much they can do if you have evidence.

You don't have to put any emotions into it. That'll get you really hurt.
True, some of them may be this way because of inhumane things occurring to them in the first place, but that doesn't change the fact they are being harmful and are giving up their right to freedom.
Unless you're willing to become their dedicated professional help, you'll have to get the arm of justice into this.
 
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