How fascinating, to see the comfortable silence from another perspective, Thanks for asking!
So INFJs are always scanning the environment and everyone around us to figure out what they're most comfortable with. I mean I do, and so if someone isn't comfortable with my silence, I make sure I have a good reason not to be around or make some sort of joke or announcement about myself about it... like I would in a roommate situation... I am a silent person 85% of the time, but because I listen patiently and engage with body language and when I do talk, I do it with a lot of energy lol People tend to have the first impression of me being an extrovert. Which is sooooooo far from the truth. So when I am being extrovert-like, I usually insert some funny wide eyed realization type expressions where I say ' OMG, this is so weird, I'm usually so quiet, >.< guys don't hate me when I'm being my awkward silent normal self ok?' or something similar which is LMAO SO CRINGE-Y for me, but it works :nonchalance: No one is bothered at all when I'm like dead silent, people ask me if I'm ok and I just smile and say 'Yeah! I said I was quiet -shrug-' idk... caring so much about what other people feel, just because I can understand/feel what they're feeling is exhausting. When I matured a little and realized I need to just be me (I don't need to be liked to help people and be kind), and if people don't like me, and I haven't done anything wrong to them, well that's their problem, not mine. I think what works for me is just accepting I'm human and have flaws and admitting it outloud. Like if you're having a quiet day, why don't you announce: -sigh- Today seems like a good day to be quiet/a quiet day. or Today is a good day to just cook in silence and chill. Or hold up a hand and be like 'Sorry, today is a rare quiet day for me, can we continue this conversation tomm?' . etc. etc. etc. Like, no one can read your mind, so at least 95% of people should appreciate these announcements.
Also...of course people are going to take it personally if you withhold yourself and then shine later on.... it probably seems disingenuous- like you lied to them. I mean that the case even when you're a quiet person who is extroverted and sassy at first meeting and then go back to normal quiet and still afterwards, if people take you at your word and later you change lol it makes sense that they'd take it personally? (not that it's anyone's business, but in reality, they put a certain amount of trust in that first impression you gave them, so it throws people off if you do something different later, they get defensive)
Might I suggest that you just be yourself in the beginning no matter what the situation, and add some random disclaimers like, I know I'm like <this>, but I'm also like <insert traits/moods> random times-- especially when it comes to things like roommates or situations where you know they're going to see it regardless of what you're like most of the time
and for the transition phase, just be open, like if you're getting close to someone, just be like, 'it's so weird, I'm like <this certain way> most of the time, but sometimes I just want to do <this> for a little, and it's not even like I have to be in a bad mood; do you ever feel that way? Like the opposite of how you are most of the time?' or something, whatever the truth is
Just because you are a certain way doesn't mean you have to live in that box every second. You don't have to have a social face on all the time. You're human! You have free will! No other human being gets to judge that lol we are all in the same boat. So be unapologetic-ally you, (as long as you're not hurting anyone, etc)
A degree of smart vulnerability is a trait of the truly strong and self confidence. :encouragement:
I mean, this is what I think/have gathered so far, I could be wrong -shrug- What do you think?