(My first OP! woohoo =D)
I think first I should give a little backstory. Well, when I was little I always had the kind of dreamy and idealistic nature INFPs are known for, but I was also good at using logic to do schoolwork and the like. I believe that during those times this 'rational' side was kind of a 'servant' for my Idealist side, just using objective logic when it was needed to. I also reflected a lot about life during those days.
When I was about 14 I entered into a spiritual/emotional crisis which left me emotionally vulnerable for a while. I believe that during those times I started relying heavily on my thinking side throughout the day, to the point that it was present even when I was out of school. Add to that that my mom started pressuring me to stop reflecting and to hang out more with other people, like an extrovert. And as time went on, my parents started arguing more often, which I feel discouraged me even more from paying attention to my feelings.
Well now I'm almost 18, and I've long since recovered from that crisis, but now I think that I've neglected some of my Idealist traits in favor of my reasoning self. I feel I've spent most of my time at home using the internet, playing video games and other distractions to keep me from having 'alone time'. I still believe I'm an INFP, since I treasure values and other people's feelings more than logic and ideas, but I've been wanting to regain that dreaming and idealist nature again.
Externally my situation's all right, I just want to solve this inner conflict in myself and bring that inner idealist to fruition.
In short, I want to develop my Introverted Feeling function more, mainly through having some alone time to focus on finding meaning in the world, in myself, in other people etc. I'm just lost as in where to start, how to decide what's right, and how to direct myself.
Anyone have any suggestions? Ideas? Oh, and thanks to anyone who had the patience to read the whole post!