[frh]

I am questioning my type because I definitely think like an ENTP, but my actions show otherwise.
As a kid, I was almost stereotypically ENTP. I know I am ExxP, so anything else is probably out of the question, unless there's something I'm missing and someone has a good explanation. The people close to me would say I am NT, but I am not sure I trust their judgement. I am open to the idea that observant types can be just as curious and research-forward. I don't think the people close to me share the same ideas.

Growing up, my biggest issue socially was not being very agreeable. I think that because I was tired of everyone ostracizing me (not an exaggeration, I was raised in a very vicious and close-minded community), I forced myself to withhold parts of my personality and overcompensate with the fun-loving aspects of my personality. I never cared for a sense of belonging and I liked going against the grain. I would just be burnt at the stake if I did. However, I was always adamant about keeping true to myself and my ideas, even if I didn't show it. For lack of a better description, I was a raging debate club nerd turned into a popular party-goer. My outward personality is so disparate from how it used to be, but my way of thinking has remained relatively the same.

I lead with intuition, that is something I could not hide if I wanted to. However, when I test the functions separately, I get Ne, Ti, Fe, and Se. My behavior is stereotypically Se. Granted, I am not sure which tests to trust. If anyone knows of less situation-based tests to take, please suggest them to me.

I could be an Si user and just not know it, but how would I know? Admittedly, a lot of the time, I am not very aware of my surroundings. If someone is staring at me, somebody else would have to point it out to me. I just don't think I have bad Se. My own humor is intuitive, but I know how to make observational jokes when the situation calls for it. I genuinely enjoy living in the moment. This might be because I am pretty apathetic about life, in general. There is more to living than just living in the moment, but I do enjoy it.

A lot of people want to be some type of NT and I am trying to steer clear of that bias. I don't want to mistype myself and develop the wrong things. Obviously, I can't see my own biases, so I'm hoping someone can point them out if there are any. I read somewhere that NTs are supposed to be bad at hiding who they really are and I don't think I am. I get along with other NTs, but only after I drop the act and have a serious conversation with them.

The descriptors for the other ExxP types like practical, missing the bigger picture, conflict-averse, sensitive, being overly stressed, sensitive, and highly emotional do not resonate with me at all. For more context, I think my enneagram tritype is 853. I am basing that on my basic fears mostly, but 853 collectively and individually makes sense.

 

[someonesomeonehey]

However, I was always adamant about keeping true to myself and my ideas, even if I didn't show it. For lack of a better description, I was a raging debate club nerd turned into a popular party-goer. My outward personality is so disparate from how it used to be, but my way of thinking has remained relatively the same.
...
I could be an Si user and just not know it, but how would I know? Admittedly, a lot of the time, I am not very aware of my surroundings. If someone is staring at me, somebody else would have to point it out to me. I just don't think I have bad Se. My own humor is intuitive, but I know how to make observational jokes when the situation calls for it. I genuinely enjoy living in the moment. This might be because I am pretty apathetic about life, in general. There is more to living than just living in the moment, but I do enjoy it.

I think you're ENFP.

Dominant Ne and auxiliary Fi fit for you. (Fi because it's easier for you to explain the motives of yourself than paying attention to the motives of others.)

 

[frh]

That is true. It is easier for me to explain my own motives than to pay attention to the motives of others. I settled on Fe because I think I use Ti as opposed to Te. Definitely something for me to look more into though. Thank you!

 

[The Last]

Either ENTP or ENFP, but I'm leaning ENFP since you are adamant about being extroverted, which ENTP is actually more like an introvert. Also I find it weird you say you are definitely the first and last letter when it is usually the middle 2 then combined with the last letter that say the most. Now, ENFP means you get that Ne dominant just like the ENTP, but then we are arguing whether you have Fi or Ti for your auxiliary.

From Psychological Types:

"As they are mainly
guided by their subjective feelings, their true motives generally remain
hidden. Their outward demeanour is harmonious, inconspicuous, giving an
impression of pleasing repose, or of sympathetic response, with no desire
to affect others, to impress, influence, or change them in any way. If this
outward aspect is more pronounced, it arouses a suspicion of indifference
and coldness, which may actually turn into a disregard for the comfort and
well-being of others."

and

"Since this type appears rather cold and reserved, it might seem on a
superficial view that such women have no feelings at all. But this would be
quite wrong; the truth is, their feelings are intensive rather than extensive.
They develop in depth. While an extensive feeling of sympathy can
express itself in appropriate words and deeds, and thus quickly gets back to
normal again, an intensive sympathy, being shut off from every means of
expression, acquires a passionate depth that comprises a whole world of
misery and simply gets benumbed. It may perhaps break out in some
extravagant form and lead to an astounding act of an almost heroic
character, quite unrelated either to the subject herself or to the object that
provoked the outburst. To the outside world, or to the blind eyes of the
extravert, this intensive sympathy looks like coldness, because usually it
does nothing visible, and an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe
in invisible forces. Such a misunderstanding is a common occurrence in
the life of this type, and is used as a weighty argument against the
possibility of any deeper feeling relation with the object. But the real
object of this feeling is only dimly divined by the normal type herself.

vs

"Like his extraverted counterpart, he
is strongly influenced by ideas, though his ideas have their origin not in
objective data but in his subjective foundation. He will follow his ideas
like the extravert, but in the reverse direction: inwards and not outwards.
Intensity is his aim, not extensity. In these fundamental respects he differs
quite unmistakably from his extraverted counterpart. What distinguishes
the other, namely his intense relation to objects, is almost completely
lacking in him as in every introverted type. If the object is a person, this
person has a distinct feeling that he matters only in a negative way; in
milder cases he is merely conscious of being de trop, but with a more
extreme type he feels himself warded off as something definitely
disturbing. This negative relation to the object, ranging from indifference
to aversion, characterizes every introvert and makes a description of the
type exceedingly difficult. Everything about him tends to disappear and get
concealed. His judgment appears cold, inflexible, arbitrary, and ruthless,
because it relates far less to the object than to the subject. One can feel
nothing in it that might possibly confer a higher value on the object; it
always bypasses the object and leaves one with a feeling of the subject’s
superiority."