[Daveman]

I need to get out of the house, but I can't get you out of my head.

I feel like I have said everything I needed to say, but I just don't know if it was enough. I encourage you to read my posts on this forum.

You must understand yourself and be honest with yourself. That is the bottom line. All the intellectual stimulation in the world will not save you from yourself. The solution to your troubles cannot be found in philosophy or any other complexity that excites you because you understand it so easily. It's much more basic than that, but it shouldn't be ignored just because it doesn't stimulate your intellect.

You are not as reserved as you think you are, and you damn well better let go of any prideful resentment toward society.

Remember this Bible verse that Jesus said about those who crucified him:

"Forgive them. They know not what they do."

People are not intentionally trying to hurt you. You confuse them. They don't understand you, and you can't make them understand you. You need to make peace with them. You need to be around people so that you can inspire them, but you have to think of realistic ways to be inspiring. Most people just aren't as "book smart" as you are, but that doesn't mean that they are stupid. You should still find a way to help them and see the good in them. Appreciate the value that they bring to the world. SHOW them that you care.

Before long, I'm going to have to give up on this. It's hard. Eventually, I will have to stop myself from posting on this website all together. I feel like I have seen "the light", and it tears me apart to think of anybody else going through the same types of things I have.

Did I do enough? I just don't know. :sad:

 

[Dallas]

I tend to speak in lyrics:
"I have a present: it is the present. You have to
learn to find it within you. If you can learn to love
it, you just might like it. You can't live without
it. There's a million open windows. I'm passing these
open windows. There is plenty to criticize. It gets
so easy to narrow these eyes. But these eyes will
stay wide. I will stay young. Young and dumb inside.
I have just begun to forget my lines. If you could
save yourself, you could save us all. Go on living,
prove us wrong. Your leap of faith could be a
well-timed smile. Survival never goes out of style. I
have a message: save your generation. We're killing
each other by sleeping in. Finnegan, begin again.
This one can be won. One can become two. Two can pick
and choose. You could be the first. You have to learn
to learn from your mistakes. You can afford to lose a
little face. The things you break, some can't be
replaced. A simple rule: every day be sure you wake."

Great thread.

 

[Alaya]

People are not intentionally trying to hurt you. You confuse them. They don't understand you, and you can't make them understand you. You need to make peace with them. You need to be around people so that you can inspire them, but you have to think of realistic ways to be inspiring. Most people just aren't as "book smart" as you are, but that doesn't mean that they are stupid. You should still find a way to help them and see the good in them. Appreciate the value that they bring to the world. SHOW them that you care.

An 'Aha" moment right there.

Thank you very much

 

[overand]

we wish you the best of luck on your endeavors.

 

[scrybaby]

I'm new here so excuse me if I don't quite understand what's going on.
Are you leaving because you this forum depressing?


I. personally, really like being infj. Sure, I've had some pretty dark periods filled with self pity and no one understands me. These days I use things like personality tests and astrology as tools to help me learn my strengths and weaknesses. If anything discovering that I'm an introvert has actually helped me interact with others better. I think it's important to know yourself as well as you can but I agree with you that it's wasted if you avoid people completely.
You've said so many great things in this thread. I just find it sad that someone with so much wisdom wants to leave (when i just got here) :wink: I understand feeling spent or like you just can't be in a certain environment anymore. You should do what's best for you.
I just wanted to try to give you some positivity and hope.
:happy:

 

[PaulH]

Dsv2e

Right on the ball here. I am glad you have seen the light - it's so liberating isn't it! and don't give up on people here.

I would encourage people to use MBTI to understand and appreciate others. That was the reason why it was developed! As an INFJ you have some preferences that can really help you to understand others easily - please please use it. I mean in an active not theoretical way.

If you find that you feel awkward in social situations - e.e.g Don't like parties? Find something other than parties!

I admit I still don't like parties very much but I can more than hold my own in a business interaction - I have developed confidence and competance there.

All this is down to experience not preference

I hope this is not comming across as bragging - that's not my intention. My intention is to use my experience and an example show that MBTI type preferences does NOT equal your ability to progress and do amazing things!

Have courage and get out there!

 

[Nedinud]

I am also a tad bit confused.

It seems to me that people have been internalising too much.

 

[Daveman]

I'm new here so excuse me if I don't quite understand what's going on.
Are you leaving because you this forum depressing?


I. personally, really like being infj. Sure, I've had some pretty dark periods filled with self pity and no one understands me. These days I use things like personality tests and astrology as tools to help me learn my strengths and weaknesses. If anything discovering that I'm an introvert has actually helped me interact with others better. I think it's important to know yourself as well as you can but I agree with you that it's wasted if you avoid people completely.
You've said so many great things in this thread. I just find it sad that someone with so much wisdom wants to leave (when i just got here) :wink: I understand feeling spent or like you just can't be in a certain environment anymore. You should do what's best for you.
I just wanted to try to give you some positivity and hope.
:happy:

I want to leave because I am obsessing.

I can't save all of the INFJs in the world. Although, I would really like to. In another thread, somebody told me that this wouldn't work for all of you. We're all different, but I think the bottom line is that we need to be around other people to inspire them.

Don't get swept away in the clouds. I can tell the level of unhappiness some of you have by the overwroughtness of your posts.

 

[Zomboy]

Way ahead of you, sir. But I'm sure you already knew that

"Forgive them. They know not what they do."

I follow this (but change 'Forgive' to 'Forget')

 

[vocalist]

It was a liberating thing for me, too, to finally discover that I was an INFJ and that that was why I felt so out-of-place and confused my whole life. Trying to be something I'm not just to keep other people happy...I'm glad you've found your place in life; I am glad I took the time last week to help get you pointed in the right direction when you were trying to figure out your type.

Stay true to yourself and to your new Purpose. But try not to get too discouraged, either, if things don't go exactly the way you've planned. As INFJs we tend to think that in order to live a full life we have to do something big and spectacular to change the world. But even little things, like raising a family, or serving your community, will have a lasting impact on the future of the world; you may never be privileged to see the ultimate fruits of your labor, but they will be there.

 

[Daveman]

The only way to liberate myself from dispair was to stop thinking about myself and try to help others. I also had to be honest with my feelings and let go of my pride.

Just because I would like for INFJs to think about trying to get out of their "shell" more often, does not mean that I want them to be a "sell-out" to extroverts.

Fuck everything you know about personality theory. You need to be able to communicate better with other people and help them. That is all.

 

[soul searcher]

I need to get out of the house, but I can't get you out of my head.

I feel like I have said everything I needed to say, but I just don't know if it was enough. I encourage you to read my posts on this forum.

You must understand yourself and be honest with yourself. That is the bottom line. All the intellectual stimulation in the world will not save you from yourself. The solution to your troubles cannot be found in philosophy or any other complexity that excites you because you understand it so easily. It's much more basic than that, but it shouldn't be ignored just because it doesn't stimulate your intellect.

You are not as reserved as you think you are, and you damn well better let go of any prideful resentment toward society.

Remember this Bible verse that Jesus said about those who crucified him:

"Forgive them. They know not what they do."

People are not intentionally trying to hurt you. You confuse them. They don't understand you, and you can't make them understand you. You need to make peace with them. You need to be around people so that you can inspire them, but you have to think of realistic ways to be inspiring. Most people just aren't as "book smart" as you are, but that doesn't mean that they are stupid. You should still find a way to help them and see the good in them. Appreciate the value that they bring to the world. SHOW them that you care.

Before long, I'm going to have to give up on this. It's hard. Eventually, I will have to stop myself from posting on this website all together. I feel like I have seen "the light", and it tears me apart to think of anybody else going through the same types of things I have.

Did I do enough? I just don't know. :sad:

It sounds to me like you are taking too much responsibilty on to your shoulders, thinking that somehow you can fix all of us. It's very sweet, and you do have some wonderful insights, but ultimately you're going to burn out because what you are trying to do is impossible. You may touch a few with your insights, as I know you have done, but you'll never be able to enlighten every INFJ. Even if that were possible just here on PerC, think of all the INFJ's in the world that can't be reached in this way.

Obsessing is never healthy, and if you feel that you need to leave the forum to stop yourself, than that's what you must do, although I know people here would miss your sweet, sincere, and helpful posts. Just speaking from my own experience though, for me to stop obsessing about anything (which happens OFTEN) I have to completely separate myself from it until I feel more balanced.

We all have to go through the various stages of "growing up" emotionally. Yes, it can be painful. But usually there are no shortcuts. I know you feel for the INFJ's that are in the throws of their growing pains, but this is something they must experience in their journey. I'm sure most of us are here to facilitate that journey and give us the insights to help us grow. You have played a part in that for many of us, and for that I thank you. But you need to take care of yourself now! :happy:

 

[Daveman]

It sounds to me like you are taking too much responsibilty on to your shoulders, thinking that somehow you can fix all of us. It's very sweet, and you do have some wonderful insights, but ultimately you're going to burn out because what you are trying to do is impossible. You may touch a few with your insights, as I know you have done, but you'll never be able to enlighten every INFJ. Even if that were possible just here on PerC, think of all the INFJ's in the world that can't be reached in this way.

Obsessing is never healthy, and if you feel that you need to leave the forum to stop yourself, than that's what you must do, although I know people here would miss your sweet, sincere, and helpful posts. Just speaking from my own experience though, for me to stop obsessing about anything (which happens OFTEN) I have to completely separate myself from it until I feel more balanced.

We all have to go through the various stages of "growing up" emotionally. Yes, it can be painful. But usually there are no shortcuts. I know you feel for the INFJ's that are in the throws of their growing pains, but this is something they must experience in their journey. I'm sure most of us are here to facilitate that journey and give us the insights to help us grow. You have played a part in that for many of us, and for that I thank you. But you need to take care of yourself now! :happy:

Yeah, you're right. I have to go. My eyes are watering with tears. I want to help everyone so bad that I can hardly focus on anything else. All day and all night long, it's all that's on my mind.

Good bye, everyone! Take care of yourselves.

dsv2e- David Vick...signing off.

 

[Collossus]

It sounds to me like you are taking too much responsibilty on to your shoulders, thinking that somehow you can fix all of us. It's very sweet, and you do have some wonderful insights, but ultimately you're going to burn out because what you are trying to do is impossible. You may touch a few with your insights, as I know you have done, but you'll never be able to enlighten every INFJ. Even if that were possible just here on PerC, think of all the INFJ's in the world that can't be reached in this way.

Obsessing is never healthy, and if you feel that you need to leave the forum to stop yourself, than that's what you must do, although I know people here would miss your sweet, sincere, and helpful posts. Just speaking from my own experience though, for me to stop obsessing about anything (which happens OFTEN) I have to completely separate myself from it until I feel more balanced.

We all have to go through the various stages of "growing up" emotionally. Yes, it can be painful. But usually there are no shortcuts. I know you feel for the INFJ's that are in the throws of their growing pains, but this is something they must experience in their journey. I'm sure most of us are here to facilitate that journey and give us the insights to help us grow. You have played a part in that for many of us, and for that I thank you. But you need to take care of yourself now! :happy:

INFJs are supposedly more spiritual than other types, so you are the one obsessing here. The physical world is merely an illusion, time and space are not necessary when dealing with other people. The only impossible thing is stop existing, and because we may never stop existing, we will always be 'helping' each other. The most unhealthy thing is to believe you can't do or be something; believe it so bad so you perceive the lie/illusion as an immutable truth. Everything is possible, and at the worst you can stop believing in yourself, but you may never stop being yourself.
The journey is our choice, the pain is our choice, they are not necessary and there isn't such thing as 'must'. The idea is that you can never retreat from this 'game' because the act of choosing reflects who you are, so you will have to choose to choose in order to fulfill the self understanding of who you are.

Yeah, you're right. I have to go. My eyes are watering with tears. I want to help everyone so bad that I can hardly focus on anything else. All day and all night long, it's all that's on my mind.

Good bye, everyone! Take care of yourselves.

dsv2e- David Vick...signing off.

Ok. Bye. Loser. You'll come screaming after our special infj-filled cookies!!! :crazy: (joke, obviously :tongue: )

 

[soul searcher]

INFJs are supposedly more spiritual than other types, so you are the one obsessing here.

Huh? What does being spiritual have to do with encouraging another person to seek balance and take care of himself?

The only impossible thing is stop existing, and because we may never stop existing, we will always be 'helping' each other. The most unhealthy thing is to believe you can't do or be something; believe it so bad so you perceive the lie/illusion as an immutable truth. Everything is possible, and at the worst you can stop believing in yourself, but you may never stop being yourself.

It is possible to stop existing, and it is possible to stop helping each other, though I wouldn't recommend it. The most unhealthy thing is to fail to recognize our limitations, which all of us do have. You're right, we should never stop believing in ourselves, but we are not gods. We do have limitations, and failure to recognize that only sets us up for severe disappointment. We should always be ourselves and believe in ourselves, but that doesn't make us invincible or all-powerful.

The journey is our choice, the pain is our choice, they are not necessary and there isn't such thing as 'must'.

When I spoke of the pain of our journey, I didn't mean to imply that we MUST grow. Plenty of people go through life refusing to grow. But most of the INFJ's on this forum are here for that purpose I believe. And most of us are experiencing growing pains because of it. If we choose to grow, we must suffer the pain of growth. There is no way around it. Growing hurts, but in the end it heals.

 

[soul searcher]

Yeah, you're right. I have to go. My eyes are watering with tears. I want to help everyone so bad that I can hardly focus on anything else. All day and all night long, it's all that's on my mind.

Good bye, everyone! Take care of yourselves.

dsv2e- David Vick...signing off.

My heart hurts for you David. I know the suffering of wanting so badly to help other people, and feeling that all I want to accomplish may not be possible without losing myself in the task.

You will do great things, I'm sure of it. People will love you for it too. :wink: