Personality Cafe banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
51 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
So I'm an enneagram type 5w4 and I'd like to tell you about my experiences with the INFP board.

Reading the threads on this board I'm starting to feel less and less INFPish because of threads like "People are mean to me" or "Why are things so hard". To these threads I mostly roll my eyes or think something like "get over it" which I know sounds pretty harsh.

It's not because I'm a cold person, I feel quite alot but I rarely identify with my feelings. That is, most of the time I'm up in my head "watching" my feelings.

I also don't quite resonate with the quirky humor commonly found throughout the board, I can much more easily relate to the more INTJish brand of black cynicism.


I'm sorry if this came off as a rant, I mean you no harm type 4s.:sad:

So how do you 5s feel about this, can you relate?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
394 Posts
So I'm an enneagram type 5w4 and I'd like to tell you about my experiences with the INFP board.

Reading the threads on this board I'm starting to feel less and less INFPish because of threads like "People are mean to me" or "Why are things so hard". To these threads I mostly roll my eyes or think something like "get over it" which I know sounds pretty harsh.

It's not because I'm a cold person, I feel quite alot but I rarely identify with my feelings. That is, most of the time I'm up in my head "watching" my feelings.

I also don't quite resonate with the quirky humor commonly found throughout the board, I can much more easily relate to the more INTJish brand of black cynicism.


I'm sorry if this came off as a rant, I mean you no harm type 4s.:sad:

So how do you 5s feel about this, can you relate?
Yes but you have coffee, others may not.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,790 Posts
As a 6w7 with a decently-developed w5, I don't always feel like I identify with the Type 4 INFP, either. The Type 9 ones are a little more like me, but not completely. Sometimes it results in me either avoiding threads or going, ":confused:...:dry:...:bored:"

My humor is probably a bit more morose. I'm a little less obviously intuitive than some. More Thinkery than the stereotype. People-reading is totally NOT my forte unless I know them very well. I don't like crying, I will call someone out (providing I'm comfortable enough to do so), and I don't feel "connected" to the world around me.

Though that being said, I'm about 85% sure I'm an INFP. Are you questioning your MBTI type?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
65 Posts
I'm actually right there with you. I think some form of black humor is the best. I also sometimes think that the whining over the unfortunate events of life on this board can be too much. I stress "can" as bad things happen to everyone sometimes in their life. But I've seen people who rather use the INFP mark as an excuse rather than guidance.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,151 Posts
I don't know my enneagram (don't care much for the system) but I identify with parts of 5 and 9.

I think it's good to see them get things off their chest. Most of the members here are young, and teenagers especially have a habit of overblowing everything that is important to them. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't like the term overblowing, because when it's the whole of your world can you say that you are overreacting?

Communication is a wonderful way to work through things. It's good to talk to those you can relate to and even better to talk to those who've been through it. 'Get over it' is the simplest advice in the world, and can hold true in most situations. However, for the type of people we're speaking of, they need to understand what that means and how to do it. 'Getting over it' is profound, but so empty when said aloud as advice. It's a process of coming to terms with how things are and learning what battles to chose.

More to the point of your topic,
It's not because I'm a cold person, I feel quite alot but I rarely identify with my feelings. That is, most of the time I'm up in my head "watching" my feelings.

I also don't quite resonate with the quirky humor commonly found throughout the board, I can much more easily relate to the more INTJish brand of black cynicism.
Yes I relate to this. I prefer to detach from my emotions to work through them. Rather, I let them pass through briefly (learning earlier that bottled emotions do blow) and detach and analyze after the fact. I'm most certainly domFi, but I don't enjoy being emotional. I just firmly believe that emotions are clues into what I feel about things, and I do have a goal to balance myself and my surroundings.

I definitely have a dark and irreverent sense of humor, and I'm not sensitive to graphic images in fiction. Actually, I find that becoming less true as I get older, but I think that's because my reaction as a teenager was overavoidance of other people and my own feelings. I did the extreme opposite as above.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
41 Posts
I very much agree. I also see a lot of myself in all of them, though, and am reminded of how long it took me to get past a lot of the same things. I admit too that I still have a lot of those same issues crop up every once in a while, but they don't consume me for quite as long as they used to. Just takes time to get to that point, especially with how overpowering some emotions can be when you don't have the experience to know that whatever is causing them is either just temporary or is something you can change.

A lot of what is said on here, though, is much less filtered than what you might see from anyone on here in real life. It's a safe place to share a lot of those emotions and thoughts, kind of like therapy but a lot cheaper. :tongue: The most vocal people are of course going to be the ones who are the most distressed, too, since this kind of becomes an outlet and a support community for people who might not have that in their real lives. Try to keep in mind that there are a lot of lurkers who don't really fit the mold quite as well. You have to remember, too, that the whole typing system is a bit arbitrary in a lot of ways. There's still a lot of variation in individuals. Sometimes types look like other types, sometimes people don't fit any type very well, and sometimes the whole thing can be a way of trying to put either yourself or other people into boxes they really don't fit in.

One of you said something about not being that great at reading people, too. I'll say that I didn't really have a sense of that too much until more recently, either. Just takes a little more concentration and a little more paying attention to the gut feelings you're getting about them is all. If you've ever felt like you needed to take a shower after talking to a salesman or just generally been able to tell when someone was only being nice to you because they wanted something, then you're probably better at reading people than you think you are. Just takes turning that part of your mind on is all.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,405 Posts
I'm not a fan of the woe-is-me crowd, however it takes all kinds, you know. Also unemployment is high most places and maybe there is just this feeling of defeat w/those looking for jobs? I don't support Life is Dark & Rainy so let me suffer/hurt myself. I know there are those who I grate on with my optimism, rose-colored glasses, I-love-being-alive & there's-fairies/elves-in-them-thar-bushes-over-there attitude. If there's room for the happy INFPs then the sad/angry ones have a place also. Besides, their outlook might not have anything to do w/being an INFP.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
751 Posts
I try and be one of the happy lil sub-group of INFPs myself. I don't think I have much choice, as the alternate of a emotionally depressed and cynical attitude has led me to many places, none of which I particularly enjoyed and I would enjoy even less as I get older and youthful hope and optimism dwindles.

I don't really have any problem with most of these posts, the problem is that the themes and questions on a fair few do tend to be recycled and some elements of this board and its character has become almost like a routine. I lose count of the number of bold, answered posts in the forum I see on my computer and I just can't bring myself to open them, even though in many cases they are wonderful reads and actually quite the treasure (symbolic of NFs themselves I say.) I think my problem is the same, I monitor my feelings in a respect and don't really live in them and thats probably why I have a hard time responding to relationship threads and the like, it has to come straight from the heart and often intuitively.

But everyone on this board is welcome I say, plus the ultra deeply meaningful philosophical questions are more the treasure if they tend to be less common I think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,603 Posts
I'm a 9....not a 5 but I can relate...I've only ever tested as an INFP, I relate to everything INFP that I read...soo....INFP it is for me. Although I don't relate to many things on this board I believe it's because I'm older now and have already overcome many of the "woes" a lot of the younger ones are dealing with. I went through a lot of the same things when I was younger...so from that standpoint I can relate to them too. But I refuse to wallow anymore, can't do it. I have dad days....but I'm at a point in my life where I refuse to be unhealthy, and am determined to be happy. INFP'ness and all!

If used properly this board can really be instrumental in helping us all grow...and overcome the weaknesses of our personality...rather than using it as an excuse to just be a certain way.
 
  • Like
Reactions: iDane
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top