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Discussion Starter #1
The thought of being attached to something makes me feel trapped and held down. Being the perceiving NF that I am, examples of what makes me irk (from personal experience) would be to sign a contract with a phone company, staying with a work company that I feel isn't right for me, or ..sigh.. trying to settle down with a significant other and getting scared away when that person starts envisioning our life together e.g. getting old and dying :shocked: idk.. that's just me and my personal experiences. Does anyone go through the same thing? Are there any other examples of how you would rather "go with the flow" without the "set-plans" in life? Or am I just always startled about the idea or attempt to be held down in some way by someone else?
 

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I like signing up for classes I think will be fun. The problem is, I can never commit. I'll quit after a year max, because I can't stand how if whatever I'm doing before the class takes longer than I thought it would, I'd have to rush for the class. I hate that I have to go even if I don't feel like it on that day otherwise it'll be money wasted. What was supposed to be enjoyable and is actually enjoyable suddenly becomes a chore I added myself :(

That's also the reason why all of a sudden I'm the slacker in a group activity. Like honestly, I really really love playing Touch Rugby, but my attendance is very inconsistent so people think I don't give a hoot. I DO care (deep down inside! xD), it's just if I feel like there's something I need to do at that moment it'll just automatically be a bigger priority for the time being! I COULD go for the session, but my mind will be on that activity and I'll be very very unparticipative ._.
 

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O. M .G. It controls me 100%
I can't sign up for courses or classes of any kind because I just know I will simply not get my ass to class; going to class on a schedule feels like a daunting task.
I can't be in a friendship, it feels absolutely horrible and like I have to do so many chores. Can't be in a romantic relationship either.
Can't make plans with people, like let's say today's wednesday and my friend calls me to meet on saturday, I can't agree. I don't know what I will feel like doing on saturday, what if I feel like going to the river and swim? Nono, with me, you have to call me between 10 and 24 hours before meeting. Hanging out with people is an act of total spontaneity for me.
I also can't buy plane tickets or buy hotel reservations for a vacations that is 7-12 months in the future. I have trained myself to accept the 6 months mark, but nothing further away than that.
When working out, I can't say "OKay, I'll exercise for 30-45 minutes and then stop". I simply can't. Sometimes I'm on minute 40-45 and it's time to cool down, but I want to keep going cause I'm feeling so good and carefree. So I keep going until I'm fully satisfied. In order to be able to extend my workout time, this means I have to not have any appointments or obligations to attend, of course. So the whole "no schedules for friendship" thing gets fueled.
And I find it impossible to paint comissions. I'm an artist and I looooove to paint and my dream is to make a living from that, but if people want to comission me a piece with a specific theme or colors, I try and fail miserably. I am incapable of connecting to anything inside of me that will produce something touching. My absolute best work, the work that everybody loves and compliments me for it, has always been the works that I do freely, when I'm in the flow, connecting to something bigger than myself & at the same time of myself.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
O. M .G. It controls me 100%
I can't sign up for courses or classes of any kind because I just know I will simply not get my ass to class; going to class on a schedule feels like a daunting task.
I can't be in a friendship, it feels absolutely horrible and like I have to do so many chores. Can't be in a romantic relationship either.
Can't make plans with people, like let's say today's wednesday and my friend calls me to meet on saturday, I can't agree. I don't know what I will feel like doing on saturday, what if I feel like going to the river and swim? Nono, with me, you have to call me between 10 and 24 hours before meeting. Hanging out with people is an act of total spontaneity for me.
I also can't buy plane tickets or buy hotel reservations for a vacations that is 7-12 months in the future. I have trained myself to accept the 6 months mark, but nothing further away than that.
When working out, I can't say "OKay, I'll exercise for 30-45 minutes and then stop". I simply can't. Sometimes I'm on minute 40-45 and it's time to cool down, but I want to keep going cause I'm feeling so good and carefree. So I keep going until I'm fully satisfied. In order to be able to extend my workout time, this means I have to not have any appointments or obligations to attend, of course. So the whole "no schedules for friendship" thing gets fueled.
And I find it impossible to paint comissions. I'm an artist and I looooove to paint and my dream is to make a living from that, but if people want to comission me a piece with a specific theme or colors, I try and fail miserably. I am incapable of connecting to anything inside of me that will produce something touching. My absolute best work, the work that everybody loves and compliments me for it, has always been the works that I do freely, when I'm in the flow, connecting to something bigger than myself & at the same time of myself.
Yes, yes, YES!! We are on the same page. :wink:
 

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It controls everybody - to a certain extent. No wonder why it is one of the fundamental truth the Buddha taught. Being attached to something does trap you, your feelings are not unnatural! The less we become attached and we crave for expectations, the better we become. Here's a really great track by Dead Prez on the subject.


[Intro]
We could grow
We could develop
As we know, the heaven is not a place
And happiness lives in the heart
Long as the world keep turning
I do years, we keep on learning
Ya heard?

[Hook]
Keep on learning, and soaking up game
We gon' make mistakes, we gon' go through some things
Keep on growing, keep on soaking up game
If something ain’t working, don’t be afraid to change

[Verse 1]
Nobody know it all, as soon as you think you do – that’s when you fall
We gotta do more than survive, we must evolve
Things change just when you think you seen it all
We trip, we stumble but we get back and strike
Each day, all the way, one step at a time
Don’t wanna let my ego and pride make me blind
The elders say “when you stop growing – that’s when you die”
The one who gets the knowledge is the one who asked “why?”
Through the course of life, you gon' taste some humble pie
But I love it – it makes me appreciate the things that I take for granted
Gaining insight and understanding
Each one, teach one, we got to pass it on
Keep doing the knowledge, building and had in all
We’re fake that need assumption
That nobody knows everything but everybody knows something

[Hook]

[Verse 2]
The more you know, the more you know – you don’t know
And if you don’t know there’s more you can know then you won’t grow
What you don’t know can hurt you, discipline is a virtue
You gotta ask the right questions
It helps you go into cycles and cyphers and spirals
Information is viral, it infects you
It’s contagious and have you going through stages
Like deny, you don’t believe that, no, we didn’t do that
Then reality set in, there’s no disputing the facts
Yo I’m sorry if I woke you up, but when I open up
It’s like I’m smoking but I’m high off the people, watch me soak it up
Huey said the best education is observation and participation
Study how the people be relating
Different points of views turn bad news to good news
See, it’s kinda like some shoes cause they gotta make you move
Treat it like organic food, make it something you can chew
Information you can use, make it something you can do

[Hook]

[Interlude]
Aye man, it’s okay to say you don’t know
That’s when you let go your ego
You’re free from all illusion, dig?
Can’t make moves in confusion
Don’t look for conflict, man
Always look for the solution
And my pop said “humility is a sign of wisdom”
But to really soak it in, now that’s a different kind of listening
See men sharpen men, and every day is another lesson
And it’s not fair you only learn man, it’s a blessing
And as the Buddha says, “nothing lasts forever”
You gotta manage your expectations
The less we pray, the less we suffer
And this way we awaken
Right understanding
Right thought
Right speech
Right action
Right livelihood
Right effort
Right mindfulness
Right focus
Keep soaking
Soak it up

[Hook]
 

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If you mean a desire to always have my options open, I find that describes me about 95% of the time. I hate the idea that I'll consider everything and finally, carefully, settle on a decision only to find out something I don't like about it later, or find a load of new options. It's happened before to me, it'll happen again.
Sometimes making appointments, deciding to buy x over y, et cetera, is painful for me.
For example I'm terrified at the prospect of choosing an apartment to lease for uni. I go shopping for them and can't choose this over that and everything else and I fear I will end up procrastinating while everyone takes the good ones and I'm left with something terrible due to my indecision.

I hate scheduling anything. I cannot book more than a month in advance unless I really sit down and think about it because I don't know what I'll be doing then. I don't want to set aside x amount of time for fun or chores - I'll do it if I feel like it and I'll stop when I want to, having spent much less or more time than I wanted to on something. It is so much easier to go with the flow rather than sectioning off my happiness into little scheduled parcels.

My indecision isn't that bad all the time. If I know what I like and I see it I have no problem taking it (talking about, say, buying things).
If I set my mind on something and go into shadow-functions-mode it's not a problem. I can't really see myself having severe problems keeping friendships or other relationships because of it, though. I just don't really see that applying to me.

I know what you mean though.
 

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When it comes to short-term commitments or insignificant appointments I'm completely like that. Like when people ask me to do something next weekend, I'll may agree but with a well-pronounced likeliness that I won't be able to make it (or if I have to make a commitment I wait till the last second). And all those insignificant things that want to occupy schedule spots, steal freedom and opportunities and paralyze me down to following a plan like a robot, naaah, nothing for me. Last time I had professional tooth cleaning done the dentist wanted me to make another appointment in about half a yeah right away. I was like "IN HALF A YEAR??? ARE YOU INSANE???" God knows what will be in half a year...

However it's not hard for me to make long-term commitments when I know what I want. When something is important to me, fits into my ideals and dreams and I know it will move me closer to those ideals, then I'm able play "all-in", to work hard and with high consistency and diligence (if necessary even some routine). We INFPs might have an awful lot of P in our character, but on the other side we got Fi, and the more we know what we want, the easier we can navigate through the many decisions we have to make, make the right ones and stick to them. On the long run, I know very well what I want in terms of relationships, job, skills, family, spirituality, maturity of character, hobbies, etc. and whenever a choice comes around where I sense the opportunity for growth towards my ideals and dreams, then (and only then) I am able to make long-term, lasting commitments.
 

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I have a problem with waking up the same time every day, going to school the same time every day, and working out every day. It's going to be hard as fuck in my job when I get it to show up every day at the same time if it's early. People wonder why I skip school so much. Lol this is why. I need my freedom. Which is contradictory to my thought processes because I have the will to do these things I just can't physically do it... like my motivation disappeared.
 

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or ..sigh.. trying to settle down with a significant other and getting scared away when that person starts envisioning our life together e.g. getting old and dying :shocked: idk.. that's just me and my personal experiences. Does anyone go through the same thing?
pfft I rarely even get to the relationship stage, being unable to tell someone I even 'like' them is difficult for me because I can perceive things as being better if I just leave them alone since I do not wish to interfere with their life and cause them any trouble whatsoever.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I just thought of another way that my Perceiving side controls me. While I'm at the gym, I dislike the idea of being attached to a stupid treadmill running in a stationary place the whole time! Or just the thought of the same o same, movement of the legs, back n forth, back n forth, slow down, speed up, slow down, speed up. With that being said, I really like playing basketball and the freedom to move as I please. If I'm tired, I'll take a break and watch the other players move around me, as I put little effort into the game. If I am feeling the hot hand, I will put forward all of my effort and enjoy the game, as is. I also enjoy the space to roam the basketball court!
 

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I like flexibilities, spontaneities, and I like lateral thinking, Ne, I like options...options to choose if I like or do not like etc.
But even though I like those things, I can still function, and that is because I do not give too much emphasis on those things. Even if I work in an office, I ignore other people basically ! lol... Even I have friends and families, I ignore some of their dramas, or their criticisms. As one artist friend once told me, he takes criticisms "like water off a duck's back". I do not take notice of it. I look at the person, they think I listened in, and then I move on. I also have a small Te, so I cannot remember everything obviously. I just do not even try. Sometimes it works well for me, other times it works against me, but hey... I am still alive. :)



This is why...
- Love dancing, cos I can more often than not express myself through dance as I feel the emotion to the music.
- This is why I appreciate the more creative dancers also who do not force you strongly and physically to step on time, but you notice the timing of things and it still looks beautiful anyway.
- This is not because I am flirting with different people, and I hate judgmental people like that cos they couldn't dance so well or enjoy dance !
- This is why I prefer and allow others to also be themselves too and find the inner joy and never truly forces others to be against themselves. Cos if they find something joyful, then it must mean something to them...
- This is why I prefer to savour the moments when I meet my friends, cos I have had a long period of time for missing them. I do not like scheduled meetings by per year.
- This is why I like travelling. It is like a mini-adventure and I do not know what will happen and why.
- This is why I like people friendly working environments that allow me to sit wherever and think and ponder, and plan.
- This is why I prefer non-pushy people, who can give you TIME.
- This is why I prefer understanding people, who has also been there done that, and do give appreciate, time and your time for yourself, and also be sensitive to your needs. Real talk people.
- This is why I have long term friends... cos i can reconnect back to them, and they do not bat an eyelid and they can feel that we left off where we were before. Whether at uni, or whether from our last conversation which actually happened 10 years ago. Cos their emotional memory recall is so strong that I still remember it. :)
- This is why I can eat a meal, feel good, and it brings back the memories, that moment I shared with my special family and friends and what happened.. even though at the time I may not be totally aware of every single thing that occurred.
- This is why I love photography, to capture moments of beauty to remind myself in my old age of my journey...

:proud:
 

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I just thought of another way that my Perceiving side controls me. While I'm at the gym, I dislike the idea of being attached to a stupid treadmill running in a stationary place the whole time! Or just the thought of the same o same, movement of the legs, back n forth, back n forth, slow down, speed up, slow down, speed up. With that being said, I really like playing basketball and the freedom to move as I please. If I'm tired, I'll take a break and watch the other players move around me, as I put little effort into the game. If I am feeling the hot hand, I will put forward all of my effort and enjoy the game, as is. I also enjoy the space to roam the basketball court!
When I go for runs I HAVE to take the routes with lots and lots of turns or I'd get bored going straight. I never go the same speed either lol.
 
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O. M .G. It controls me 100%
I can't sign up for courses or classes of any kind because I just know I will simply not get my ass to class; going to class on a schedule feels like a daunting task.
I can't be in a friendship, it feels absolutely horrible and like I have to do so many chores. Can't be in a romantic relationship either.
Can't make plans with people, like let's say today's wednesday and my friend calls me to meet on saturday, I can't agree. I don't know what I will feel like doing on saturday, what if I feel like going to the river and swim? Nono, with me, you have to call me between 10 and 24 hours before meeting. Hanging out with people is an act of total spontaneity for me.
I also can't buy plane tickets or buy hotel reservations for a vacations that is 7-12 months in the future. I have trained myself to accept the 6 months mark, but nothing further away than that.
When working out, I can't say "OKay, I'll exercise for 30-45 minutes and then stop". I simply can't. Sometimes I'm on minute 40-45 and it's time to cool down, but I want to keep going cause I'm feeling so good and carefree. So I keep going until I'm fully satisfied. In order to be able to extend my workout time, this means I have to not have any appointments or obligations to attend, of course. So the whole "no schedules for friendship" thing gets fueled.
And I find it impossible to paint comissions. I'm an artist and I looooove to paint and my dream is to make a living from that, but if people want to comission me a piece with a specific theme or colors, I try and fail miserably. I am incapable of connecting to anything inside of me that will produce something touching. My absolute best work, the work that everybody loves and compliments me for it, has always been the works that I do freely, when I'm in the flow, connecting to something bigger than myself & at the same time of myself.
ALL of this!
 

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I have been putting off making a doctor's appointment for a week now, because I'm worried that I might have something to at the time of the appointment. I mean, for god's sake! I haven't even been out of my house for two weeks! :rolleyes:

I know, it's pretty bad. Even for an introvert I don't get out much.

To answer the OP again, my P side is just getting silly.
 
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