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On my scale of "too good looking" or "ehh not too interested in you" there's still that middle swatch of people that are average and I can relate to. It just takes much longer to warm up to an extremely good looking person. Cautiously evaluating my perceptions.
I also relate to a wide swath of swiss built mechanical watches; I thought I was the only one.
 

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For the INFJ males, what if you did come across an attractive, kind NF female? I agree that most beautiful women are such shallow S types. Yawn.
 

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Here's how I look at it:

Everybody is too good for me/out of my league, so what do I have to lose? :laughing:
 
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For the INFJ males, what if you did come across an attractive, kind NF female? I agree that most beautiful women are such shallow S types. Yawn.
I'd likely be pursuing the NF female, but she probably wouldn't realize it until it's too late...I'd be trying too hard to walk this fine line between showing interest but not showing too much. I'd probably undershoot it by too much and lose you anyway. When I'm interested, I'm intensely interested in a way that I know most people wouldn't be ready for without more rapport or trust. I often feel like I know a person before I really do since I try to anticipate their personality based on whatever clues they give me.

Getting away from the hypothetical scenario, all the attractive and kind NF females I've met ended up becoming my friends...totally missed the window for being able to date them :laughing:
 
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"Out of my league" is a euphemism for "I'm underconfident".

I feel anxious about appeoaching people, but I call it what it is instead of placing the blame on them for being "too good-looking" or "too rich". It's not them that make me scared or anxious -- it's me and my perception of them. And instead of normalizing it with a euphemism, I try to fix it.

My current boyfriend is someone who I felt was "out of my league". He has a lot of qualities that I wish in myself. I was intimidated by him at first, but I decided to get close to him because maybe I could learn how he became the way that he is. And now we're dating.
 
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Nope. I kinda always fell in love before I knew how they looked. :D
 
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nope

anyone who relies on their looks tend to be pretty easy game. just ignore that facet of their entity entirely and force them to play ball on ground with actual substance. you'll generally find they are very uneasy doing so, yet feel compelled to because they aren't used to someone not worshiping their flawless looks, so they chase that sense of control even if it means going somewhere they aren't comfortable

treating someone like a human being rather than an unattainable pinup evens the odds if you think they have you beat physically. a lot of stunners are exceptionally insecure and they will pick up on that insecurity in others if you start comparing yourself to them. a lot of people see a 10 and just give up. what you should do is realize that gives you an advantage. if no one is approaching this person, you already have an edge, and if you aren't brainwashed by their looks, you'll figure out they have just as many weaknesses as everyone else, and less competition from your end. in reality, they are easier than a lot of other people to get into, unless they can match you in terms of character and wit, in which case you should probably aim to play the long game and marry them for an uberwin
 

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Absolute_Eb, How would you behave if you were already married, but came across this attractive NF that you had already developed trust in based on helpful things (professional setting) she had done in the past?
 

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Absolute_Eb, How would you behave if you were already married, but came across this attractive NF that you had already developed trust in based on helpful things (professional setting) she had done in the past?
That's a hard hypothetical for me to wrap my head around. My longest relationship lasted about 5 months. I do know that marriage is a commitment that I take seriously, so my guess is I would be courteous and professional to the attractive NF. If she tried to flirt with me, I'd be pretty direct about the fact that I have a ring on my finger and she needs to cut it out. If she ignored my request, then I'd probably threaten her with whatever harassment reporting protocol takes place at work. Even if she was really attractive and charming, she couldn't be worth the risk of losing my wife.

I guess I should add that as long as she stopped flirting after I asked her to, all would be forgiven and I'd be able to have a normal working relationship with attractive NF. I really don't think this scenario has as much to do with type as it has to do with someone's moral values though. It's often said that an INFJ type has a strong value system because of the idealized world that can be created through Ni and Fe. With me, any attractive woman's odds at romance go to zero the moment I am married (other than my presumably attractive wife, of course).
 

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Idk if i can relate to this experiment tbh... Probably because it doesn't feel organic.
 
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