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Discussion Starter #1
Hey guys! I'm an ENFP- Turbulent (if turbulency matters in this case) and am currently in a relationship with another ENFP. But, do any of you guys struggle with having maybe a bit too much love for just about everyone in the entire world? I would never ever cheat because that goes against my core values, and I'm loyal like a dog, but have trouble explaining sometimes to non ENFPS how I want to love and care for everyone, but some more than others. I also worry a lot about being perceived as too flirty and I admit that I can come off that way when I am trying to make someone feel better because I know what to say in those situations to improve the mood. I also, and I feel guilty about this, tend to always be thinking about future possibilities not just with my current partner but just thinking about who I'll get married to, or if I move here the types of people I'll meet, etc, and it feels unfair to the person I'm with now! :dejection: Do any of you guys struggle with having almost too much love for everyone, and what are some tips to stay grounded in the present? Thanks <3
 

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Hey guys! I'm an ENFP- Turbulent (if turbulency matters in this case) and am currently in a relationship with another ENFP. But, do any of you guys struggle with having maybe a bit too much love for just about everyone in the entire world? I would never ever cheat because that goes against my core values, and I'm loyal like a dog, but have trouble explaining sometimes to non ENFPS how I want to love and care for everyone, but some more than others. I also worry a lot about being perceived as too flirty and I admit that I can come off that way when I am trying to make someone feel better because I know what to say in those situations to improve the mood. I also, and I feel guilty about this, tend to always be thinking about future possibilities not just with my current partner but just thinking about who I'll get married to, or if I move here the types of people I'll meet, etc, and it feels unfair to the person I'm with now! :dejection: Do any of you guys struggle with having almost too much love for everyone, and what are some tips to stay grounded in the present? Thanks <3
Can't advise because I'm not the one struggling; but maybe it's a comfort a little bit if I say I really understand how you feel from seeing the situation in "my" ENFPs. For the partner of the ENFP, the situation takes some getting used to--big-time insecurity-maker--but the partner of the ENFP has to just take the plunge and trust. Well, OK, I can advise a little bit: Find some way to make your partner feel especially special, a something which you don't do at all for others, something the partner can cling to and say, "Yeah, this is just for me--I beat out everyone else!", and give your partner special time just the two of you alone. Beyond that, the partner just kind of has to get used to it . . . and, eventually, he or she will love it in you.
 

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So yes...
Loving everyone, but staying grounded. The trick is to (and believe me I know how this sounds, but it actually makes you appreciate people more) but the trick is to judge each relationship based on its merits for them and for you. Rate how agreeable or how knowledgeable each person is. Figure out by their potential to help you personally grow whether you should spend time with them. Maybe a better way of saying it is: You've only got so much time on this earth, who would you spend your last month with? Thats who you should spend effort on. Maybe you already do this, but yes, this is what helps.
If you hang around and look at some of the romance discussions you'll see you fit right in. I hope you get enough info here that you feel validated.
I want to know more about turbulence. I saw that on another site, do you know much about it?
What I'm interested in is that you're with anther ENFP! How is that working? Give some scenarios please on how you guys choose something to do for fun. What about personal time. Does it work well?
 
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Over the years I have found that if I don't exercise regularly - don't go on a run in three days - my Ne gets out of control. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed, my mind is humming - a lot about nonsense and reading too much into things. This can leave me feeling thin, like butter scrapped over too much bread (lord of the rings quote). As a result, I get into too much thinking, overreact, and burn myself out - with people and emotions. So for me, I try to run at least every two days and try to meditate once a day. This keeps me grounded and in control of my emotions and Ne. I am able to make better decisions and spread my love more evenly and with more focus. If I don't do this, I'm all over the place and end up in a rut/exhausted.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Hey! Everyone, thank you so much for your replies (they were a good starting place for me to learn more about this part of me and good tips as well). To answer Alesha's questions in particular: there are two letters at the end of your type, A for assertive or T for turbulent. I can link you to tbe website's description of these functions as it may be more concise than what I can type, but basically they are just more emotional things. I am turbulent (89 or 99% lmao) which means I am more prone to stress and more scared of change and overall more emotional. I find it to be a true trait as I have an anxiety disorder. It is possible to become more assertive though, that is just being more adaptive to stress and being more open minded and not scared of change etc.
Also, so far it is going great! I often forget that since he is similar to me (I think he is assertive though, not turbulent), he will just sort of understand when I bring up emotional issues. I have found that we have similar ideas on romantic ideals and other things which is cool to me. He also helps me stay grounded in the present which is interesting, but as he is more assertive he encourages me not to think about past relationships and experiences, or think about the future as much, and stay more grounded in the "now." It may sound contrary to an ENFP's description, but I find that I do the same for him, so maybe it's just our less functional bits jumping forward to help out someone else. For choosing to do something fun, our love languages are both quality time, so we don't really care how we spend it. Mostly, we just hang out at one of our houses and do whatever there because we have no shortage of ideas or things to talk about, but also I am prone to suggesting that we go out to eat or shop or bla bla bla (at cheap places because ENFPS are prone to overspending money haha) and just other stuff. Or, we share creative ideas with each other if we cant be together physically. We facetime a lot and I share my projects (music and writing) and he shares his (computers and school stuff) and that is a good balance as well. Personal time, we have discussions about boundaries and about how we both are really emotional but obviously need space sometimes because he works and I have my own stuff going on, so it hasn't been an issue so far. Honestly, I have heard lots about how ENFPS NEED to be with an INFJ or an INTJ, but I really think you can be with any type as long as there is understanding and trust, etc. I will keep you updated as we are recently in a relationship if you are interested! Let me know if you have anymore questions. (and I know you guys probably understand why this post is so long, but if you're not an ENFP than apologies for the lack of conciseness!)
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Over the years I have found that if I don't exercise regularly - don't go on a run in three days - my Ne gets out of control. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed, my mind is humming - a lot about nonsense and reading too much into things. This can leave me feeling thin, like butter scrapped over too much bread (lord of the rings quote). As a result, I get into too much thinking, overreact, and burn myself out - with people and emotions. So for me, I try to run at least every two days and try to meditate once a day. This keeps me grounded and in control of my emotions and Ne. I am able to make better decisions and spread my love more evenly and with more focus. If I don't do this, I'm all over the place and end up in a rut/exhausted.
!!! Thank you so much for this. I have a therapist who often encourages me to exercise, and my parents and friends etc all talk about it as well, but I've always been sort of, eh about it and I don't exercise that often. I never really thought that some types may "need" or benefit from exercising more than others. Interesting point about how it grounds you, I will have to try it! I think NF types are maybe more prone to anxious behaviors and so it is something I'm sure most of us could benefit from. Thank you! <3
 
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I don't love everyone. The world is hell on earth. Pure misery. Began in the beginning of high school when, like 95% of students became drunks. At one school trip that included several classes, I was one of two sober people. I'm just sick of living a corrupt, deformed world.
And it just gets worse and worse, because now the world wants me dead. Other people are enemies in a ruthless war for survival.
It's hell on earth and most of people are demons.
 

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Hello- i am back with more updates. Currently my ENFP boyfriend and i are in relationship purgatory?? We are broken up, but it doesn't really feel official so I'm not sure. Basically, the concerns are with time (going off to college, breaking up now or later mentality) and "grass is always greener" syndrome which I know is common of ENFPS. For me, I combat that by seeing multiple people in between relationships so that I know what I like best, but my partner did not do such a thing and thus is havin troubles realizing what he wants. He wants to care for me and be with me and love me but isn't sure if he should be in a relationship due to all his fear. Thus, to try and combat this I decided to give him space to use his FI and see if this is actually inline with his feelings or if it was a jump decision- we split after a couple of days worth of discussion in which I projected my fears of breaking up based off of no hard reasoning. He has said things like "I don't expect you to wait for me" and other things which lead me to believe it could just be a blip, because I know how flighty we can be when scared of losing other possabilities. I also am up to the idea of more casually dating him after a while, somthat we can see other people and hopefully this will help him with the idea of grass is always greener and cold feet. I believe we did start dating pretty soon after we met, which for me made sense but for him he pronably rushed into it. Of course, I know not to try too hard if the relationship is truly lost, but these are just some ideas of mine as I think I know what he's doing or going through. Any other advice would be appreciated!
 
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