I think that "you're too nice" translates as "you're too needy". There is a difference between being needy or interested and perseverent.
I don't think women actually dislike someone for being nice. People appreciate being nice. It's as simple as being stopped by a cop and being let go with a warning because you were nice to him, the value of niceness cannot be overstated. People appreciate a person who is polite and helpful, this can't be overstated.
For women I think the most important thing is the character, what is on the inside. This is why it's a bit tricky for women, they have to know the man a bit. Where as men on the other hand can judge looks almost instantly. This is why status is important for women, not because they all want money, but because status is a kind of proxy signal for character, what's on the inside. Women are looking for a kind of trip advisor dating, cause they need validation from some other source.
So how to show interest without being needy or "too nice"? Understand 3 things:
No.1 - What qualifies as an event, what events stand out for a girl and what events don't stand out for a girl, and how can you set yourself apart.
No.2 - How can you show a lot of interest without coming off as the guy who tried really really hard? It's called net vs gross interest.
No.3 - Sometimes an action that seems needy on the surface is actually the opposite. Sometimes an action that seems needy is actually being entitled.
Let's start with No.1 - events that stand out.
Do you remember what you wore yesterday? Do you remember your first night in a club? Why you remember the latter but not the former? Odds are, you don't remember what you wore yesterday unless it stood out in some way, unless there was something special about it, and that's the key idea - something special about it.
You don't remember most things that happened in your life, you also don't remember most conversation you've had, and neither does everyone else including the girl you're talking to. So if you have a boring conversation where there are no emotional spikes, where there is nothing challenging, where there is nothing surprising out of the ordinary, you will not be remembered at all.
First and foremost, you need to be able to take risks. We all have a range of normal experiences, anything that is in the range of normal experiences will be forgotten. But if you do something on the extreme positive spike, it will be remembered, if you do something on the extreme negative spike, it will be remembered. So, you as a person talking with a girl will be remembered mainly by the emotional spikes that you create, the positives and negatives.
No.2 - net vs gross interest.
How can you give a girl a lot of compliments and still not come across as "needy" or "the one who tried too hard" or "too nice"? The answer is ratio between positive and negative.
Yes, do say more things that are on the positive spikes, more things that show interest in her, however also do things that show disinterest, or that show a willingness to walk away. Or like distain, or the fact that she just dissapointed you or whatever.
In terms of how much interest you've shown them, that's going to be the gross interest. As for the who is in charge of the set and who has power, that's going to be the net interest, as in the ratio between the positive and negative spikes that you've had. So the key here is - mix them up.
The key here is to not only be Mr. positive positive positive. Because you're the "too nice" guy that she can have. Also don't be Mr. negative negative negative because now you're a jerk. What you want to do is have that mix where you are exciting, where you are unpredictible. People respond to that which is unpredictible.
For example: gambling addicts. Why do gambling addicts get addicted to slot machines? because of the variable payout. If you pull a slot machine and win everytime, you wouldn't want to keep playing, it would be quite boring. But if the slot machine plays sometimes and doesn't pay other times, that's very exciting cause you never know when the next pay is coming. It's the same kind of thing with a girl. If you're unpredictible, she doesn't know when she is going to get rewarded by you or punished by you, she's going to want to chase you.
1 - Do things that are emotionally relevant.
2 - Have a ratio of positive and negative emotional spikes.
3 - Be unpredictible.
If you're doing these 3 things you're very quickly going to be memorable for a girl.
No.3 - persistance
Following up, reapproaching, texting a girl back, etc. And that makes sense, because if you text a girl over and over again, often times you are doing that out of needyness. Or if you try to approach a girl time after time after time, it's quite likely you were rejected the first few times and it looks very very needy. However, in a lot of cases, being persistent is the only option so even if it's needy it's your best bet.
Some guys are so trapped in this idea "oh, if I do it it's a little bit needy" that they lose the girl because of it. You should have a mentality of "I'm a high value guy, so even if this thing is a little needy, it's still the right thing to do, because, in your presence in the future, she's going to have so much positive stimulation that is going to overwhelm whatever neediness there is". So in a weird way, following her up and being needy is actually still a high self-esteem high value guy thing to do.
Sometimes being needy, isn't actually being needy, it's entitled. Let's say you text each other, ask for a date, she says yes. And there's one day before the date and the girl doesn't get back to him, the guy is "I don't want to text her because that would be needy", no, it wouldn't. That would be entitled.
Here's how you can tell the difference between needy and entittled: if you had a friend that you've known for years, and you had plans with him and he didn't text back, you would text him "hey bro, what's up?". And you would actually feel entittled to the date. You wouldn't worry about "Am I seeming needy?" you'd be like "we have plans, what are you doing?". So, standing up for yourself in this way, not in a bitter way, not saying "why aren't you texting me back?" cause that's actually bitter, but acting in the same way you would with a friend, like "did you not see my text?" or something like that.
And in fact, how bad does it look? You had plans with a girl, you text her, she didn't reply back, and then you text her the next day like nothing has happened. That shows neediness. That's the most low value thing you can do. So, in a context where you have done nothing wrong, and socially you deserve a response, following up to her to get a response is not needy. Now, if you follower her up 6 more times or you get bitter that's needy. But if you just do it once or twice and calmly in the same way you would with old friends, hit her up and let her know, that's not needy.
There's a difference between quality of response and quanity of response. You can follow with a girl a lot if you do it in a non-needy way. You can follow with a girl a lot if you do it in a confident high value way. It is okay if you're a high value guy, it is okay if you're coming from a good place to go ahead and hit the girl up one more time. It is okay to go reapproach a girl.
A lot of guys get so worried about "seeming needy" that they actually do the truly low value truly reactive thing, and actually end up in essence looking even needier. If you are a high value guy, you can get away with and then trump some of this neediness. In order for a date to happen, you need to interact with a girl, so anything that is allowing you to interact with a girl where you wouldn't have interaction otherwise, even if it is slightly needy, it's still the right thing to do.
With that reason, from that level, even approaching a girl in the first place is "a little needy", because you clearly want something from her. But if you don't approach her, it's never going to get anywhere. So, doing the approach, is it needy? maybe a little bit, but most of what it is is confident and entitled.