Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 23 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
250 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
What are the top 3 types that you usually enjoy talking to the most?

According to my experience:

ENTPs are amazing friends.They enjoy conversations with depth and love to debate without it being seen as "arguing".They are very open minded and can appreciate and understand even the most offensive humor xD They do not enjoy small-talk (at least the friend I had) and are surprisingly understanding of my way of thinking.

INTPs are great at conversations.They are very deep thinkers and their arguments are very strong.They are very creative people and the Ti-Ne is a perfect combination to the Ni-Te of an INTJ (Every time I talk with my INTP brother about a concept/idea,we end up analyzing it so greatly that I feel motivated and energetic afterwards).Also they appreciate and understand humor.Their awkwardness is also very fun to me XD I just enjoy talking more to ENTPs because INTPs are too emotionally-distant and insensitive so our relationships don't usually get actually deep.(INTJs are not good with emotions either so it's a bad combination)

ENFPs are great at communication but in a completely different way than the previous 2..They have Ne and Te,which are extroverted functions that an INTJ like me actually appreciates and can make great conversations with.And they tend to be extremely good with emotions and can usually understand INTXs better than any other type.That also makes them great for romantic relationships. The only "negative" is that I usually have to be a bit careful with my humor&debating,cause they are very sensitive and take things personally very easily.

PS I've never communicated with another INTJ irl so I don't know how it would go.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,535 Posts
Top types that would be good to talk with in theory:
INTP and ENTP

Top types that are best to talk with in reality:
ESTP and ESFJ, ETA: +INFJ

I do have a very good INTP friend, but it literally took me 10 years to get him to overcome his crippling shyness enough to be able to have a good conversation. He's also very inflexible in how much time he has (very E5). Basically, we've got an hour to talk twice a year. When that hour is up, he runs away, following his own internal timetable. It's worth it because he says more interesting things in an hour than most people say in a lifetime. We've also got a similar need for firm boundaries, security, routine/ ritual etc.

ENTPs are faaaaaar more awkward than they'd like to admit. They are just as bad as INTPs, but they are also easily distracted and less likely than INTPs to form stable bonds. A lot of them big themselves up massively, trying to be fake ESTPs... Also, they find it hard to talk to people without a logical reason, e.g. work meeing...others are just bleh. So there might be a lot of potential, but nothing much ever materializes.

ESTP and ESFJ will chat to anyone and don't fuck things up with awkwardness.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
250 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Top types that would be good to talk with in theory:
INTP and ENTP

Top types that are best to talk with in reality:
ESTP and ESFJ

I do have a very good INTP friend, but it literally took me 10 years to get him to overcome his crippling shyness enough to be able to have a good conversation. He's also very inflexible in how much time he has (very E5). Basically, we've got an hour to talk twice a year. When that hour is up, he runs away, following his own internal timetable. It's worth it because he says more interesting things in an hour than most people say in a lifetime. We've also got a similar need for firm boundaries, security, routine/ ritual etc.

ENTPs are faaaaaar more awkward than they'd like to admit. They are just as bad as INTPs, but they are also easily distracted and less likely than INTPs to form stable bonds. A lot of them big themselves up massively, trying to be fake ESTPs... Also, they find it hard to talk to people without a logical reason, e.g. work meeing...others are just bleh. So there might be a lot of potential, but nothing much ever materializes.

ESTP and ESFJ will chat to anyone and don't fuck things up with awkwardness.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk
I understand your point on INTPs but that's really not my experience with ENTPs.I had an ENTP best friend for 3-4 years and we would spend 4 hours+ a day together for most of that time.He was also a quite loyal friend.
ESTP and ESFJ are great with chatting but chatting is all that they really do.They do not like concepts,big conversations,analyzing etc. They can be fun to be around,but I don't see how they are interesting in conversations.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,535 Posts
I understand your point on INTPs but that's really not my experience with ENTPs.I had an ENTP best friend for 3-4 years and we would spend 4 hours+ a day together for most of that time.He was also a quite loyal friend.
ESTP and ESFJ are great with chatting but chatting is all that they really do.They do not like concepts,big conversations,analyzing etc. They can be fun to be around,but I don't see how they are interesting in conversations.
It all depends on what you're looking for.
All I'm saying is that sometimes I want an easy life where my friends behave like a normal person and aren't worse than me.
I like variety and if everybody was an XNTP, I would go crazy. Sometimes I just want to know that I have friends that I can chat with or go for a meal with without massive complications. I also like it when friends take an initiative as often as me, although I don't want to be steamrolled by EXFP.
With XNTP, it's me who takes the initiative most of the time and they can get very cranky if you are friendly to them, e.g. greeting them cheerfully or smiling or showing any kind of normal levels of interest in them. They don't know what's happening and have to retreat to process. Sometimes even simple things like "Hello! How are you?" can set them off. It's impossible to have any type of real time interaction with them for a very long time until they settle.
And because all of that is so complicated, you never reach the stage where you discuss "concepts". ... another factor is that both them and me try to behave like normal people, so we don't go "Hi, what do you think about climate change?" We try to make small talk instead and neither of us is very good (I'm better actually sometimes, other times they are better, so we also irritate each other by caring about different small talk topics or intruding on each other's privacy).
I also know way more XNTPs than ESTPs and ESFJs, but my "success rate" (percentage), of actually getting anywhere is way higher with the latter.

Of course it's not all bad. I just wouldn't want to limit myself to "intellectual" types and a lot of the time "lack of excruciating awkwardness" trumps "potential ability to have analytical discussions".



Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
250 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
It all depends on what you're looking for.
All I'm saying is that sometimes I want an easy life where my friends behave like a normal person and aren't worse than me.
I like variety and if everybody was an XNTP, I would go crazy. Sometimes I just want to know that I have friends that I can chat with or go for a meal with without massive complications. I also like it when friends take an initiative as often as me, although I don't want to be steamrolled by EXFP.
With XNTP, it's me who takes the initiative most of the time and they can get very cranky if you are friendly to them, e.g. greeting them cheerfully or smiling or showing any kind of normal levels of interest in them. They don't know what's happening and have to retreat to process. Sometimes even simple things like "Hello! How are you?" can set them off. It's impossible to have any type of real time interaction with them for a very long time until they settle.
And because all of that is so complicated, you never reach the stage where you discuss "concepts". ... another factor is that both them and me try to behave like normal people, so we don't go "Hi, what do you think about climate change?" We try to make small talk instead and neither of us is very good (I'm better actually sometimes, other times they are better, so we also irritate each other by caring about different small talk topics or intruding on each other's privacy).
I also know way more XNTPs than ESTPs and ESFJs, but my "success rate" (percentage), of actually getting anywhere is way higher with the latter.

Of course it's not all bad. I just wouldn't want to limit myself to "intellectual" types and a lot of the time "lack of excruciating awkwardness" trumps "potential ability to have analytical discussions".



Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk
I understand your point.I guess we have a different enneagram or something cause I don't get almost any pleasure out of the every day conversations that people do so I usually get bored when I hang out with sensors.The fact that they have a completeley different way of thinking doesn't help either,because I feel like I have to try to see things as a sensor when I communicate with them.
I generally like very direct communication,so I don't have the small talk problem that you talked about.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,535 Posts
@Davidkal I might be a bit off topic because I'm thinking of lifelong friends, not so much people to talk to.
I guess my problem is that when I find someone very interesting, like XNTPs, I want to be friends with them, not just talk to them regularly. There are lots of people who are alright and whom I have to talk to every day because they are around. But I've already decided that I'm never ever going to be friends with them.
Whereas when someone stands out as interesting, I expect some development, which often doesn't happen with XNTP or only happens very haltingly.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,535 Posts
I understand your point.I guess we have a different enneagram or something cause I don't get almost any pleasure out of the every day conversations that people do so I usually get bored when I hang out with sensors.The fact that they have a completeley different way of thinking doesn't help either,because I feel like I have to try to see things as a sensor when I communicate with them.
I generally like very direct communication,so I don't have the small talk problem that you talked about.
I'm E6, so stable relationships are very important to me. I know all of my friends S and N, from work, volunteering, uni.... so what brought us together were conversations about what is going on in that environment. That would start out at a more concrete level with S types maybe, but they are not averse to listening to my analysis.

I've also got this thing were I kind of think one or two close friends of each type are enough. I could accept additional acquaintances of the same type. But I'm just not going to make a huge effort (that is unlikely to succeed) for a "second rate" INTP because I've already got a favourite INTP.
My success rate with INTPs is 1/8 and for ENTPs it's 0/6. 3 of those also bullied me, one rather severely. (They bully everybody, but still...). So I have basically identified one favourite ENTP (Ti subtype), but I'm forcing myself not to make his life easy. The more I ignore him, the better things go with him. With other types it's far more of a natural turn-taking dynamic.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,535 Posts
PS: I don't generally have a problem with small talk, either, although very often, my heart's not in it.
The problem with XNTPs isn't the content of the conversations, but awkwardness on both sides which is caused by being curious about each other and not willing to show it openly. In a way that's cute because it proves that they "mean it". In another way, it fucks things up a lot of the time.


With S types, this isn't so much of a problem because "talking to people is normal". So you can start out as acquaintances and take it easy and get closer without overthinking.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
884 Posts
My experience with ENFJs has always been really enjoyable, conversations go all over the place but I like this. Often there is an appreciation for my weird and dark humour.

Although I am not surrounded by ENTPs, when I've been with them conversation has alway been very engaging.

I am unsure if I can give a 3rd place. I get on great with INTPs, XNTJs, XNFPs, also XSFJs often seem to like me a lot.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
601 Posts
Personally, INTP, ENTJ (they encourage me to put my plans into action), and ENFJ. Hypothetically INFJ would be there as well, and I hope so in the future, but at the current time I had nothing but bad experiences with them.
 

·
Plague Doctor
INTJ, 5w4, Ni-T type
Joined
·
6,039 Posts
INFPs, INTPs, INTJs.

If INTJs weren't supposed to be included in the original three, then my 4th is ISTPs.


INFPs are just magnetizing. They run very deep and have usually put a lot of thought and effort into their internal world. Getting them to open up is like watching a flower bloom.

INTPs are just wacky enough to not be annoying. I like the banter and how we can play off of each other in various ways.

INTJs just "get" me without any extra explaining.

ISTPs are badass and hot.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Dare

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,264 Posts
INTJ -- for depth

ISTP -- for reminding me words are overrated

ENTP -- for making me laugh

Runners up include: ENTJs, INTPs and those rare, brilliant INFP artists.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
763 Posts
INTJ, INTP, INFJ

I naturally feel comfortable around people of those types. We share the way we think to a certain extent. We're all introverted so there is no pressure to communicate.
 

·
Registered
ENTJ; 8w7; Persian C
Joined
·
9,448 Posts
Formal: ENTJ


Informal discussions: ENTJ / INTP


Personal discussions: INFP / INFJ / ENFP


Business discussions: ENTJ / ESTJ / ISTP


Leisurely: ENFJ / ENTJ / INFP


Intellectual discussions: INTP


Debate/argumentative discussions - ideal partnership: INTP


Entertainment discussions: ENTP / XSFP


Sexual discussions: ISTP / ESTP / ISFP


For typology/psychology discussions: INXJ


Familial discussions: Talkative/funny ESFJ
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,535 Posts
Formal: ENTJ


Informal discussions: ENTJ/INTP


Personal discussions: INFP / INFJ / ENFP


Business discussions: ENTJ / ESTJ / ISTP


Leisurely: INTP / ENFJ / ENTJ


Intellectual discussions: INTP


Entertainment discussions: ENTP / XSFP


Sexual discussions: ISTP / ESTP / ISFP


For typology discussions: INXJ


Familial discussions: Talkative ESFJ
This seems like a good approach. It's a good idea to have realistic expectations and to value the type combinations that work best for you with respect to each topic. One can't expect one type of person to provide everything.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,771 Posts
ENFJ
INTP
ESTx

INxJ - whenever I've found one that's friendly enough, it's great.

SF-people do most of the talking. I always want to escape when I'm in the room with a suspected SF type.
 

·
Registered
ENTJ; 8w7; Persian C
Joined
·
9,448 Posts
This seems like a good approach. It's a good idea to have realistic expectations and to value the type combinations that work best for you with respect to each topic. One can't expect one type of person to provide everything.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk
From my interaction(s) [with many types]; I can agree, that is boils down to the locality / content of discussion.

Ex;

I am more comfortable (& the conversation stimulus is more smooth) talking about politics with an ENTJ/INTP - than I am with an XNFP.

My ENFP-humanoid simply could not handle [certain discussion(s)] in a manner I fancied, that were better suited for (NT) thus, we spent more time talking about a trivial detail to me (however, VERY important detail for her) - of what hurt her feelings - (&) better ways to articulate myself -- because 'talking this bluntly' or "this mean," can possibly disturb others (lol), thus make the discussion uncomfortable, which she really meant - all the XNFP's (I had an INFP like this as well) - he would stop me mid-discussion to discuss 'proper feeling etiquette'. Which is not necessarily a problem - I can make use of them elsewhere (&) they can be more comfortable there, as well. She was also more comfortable talking about (X)-things; I suspect, with other XNFP. I haven't had this malfunction with ENTJ/INTPs, for instance, who are more indifferent about how they (bluntly) discuss unique topics.

I compromise with my ENFP - alright; how about I simply seek you for (personal/intimate) discussions - rather than impersonal discussions [to which the ENFP often expressed feeling 'disconnect/sad' within], which was a more superior dynamic than when I attempt this with the INTP. Her eyes & her utility lit-up. [Of course other types are useful via differential localities as well].

Even with 'ESFJ' [who are supposedly a horrible-type for INTJ] - I find that, I have most fun with, and enjoy their presence (or perhaps they are simply of better utility) - in the locations where they are at their strongest - to which ESFJ can be quite useful/intriguing to be around.
 

·
Delphic Seer
Joined
·
18,076 Posts
  • ENTJ
  • Fellow INTJ
  • xNFP
 
  • Like
Reactions: RexMaximus
1 - 20 of 23 Posts
Top