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I think we've all experienced disturbing or misplaced arousal. It's not so much something I like to talk about online but I have to say I reacted in a quite similar way to you.. I saw all this filthiness and brutality and I guess it scared me to think of myself as part of such a species, because in some way these things must also be a part of me. I think it's just a side effect of being animal/organic beings, controlled by nonlinear primal instincts on the one hand, and forced into unnatural and rigid norms for sexuality on the other (which, in its extremes, is probably how most deviance rears its ugly face), maybe you're just really sensitive to how perverse that is.
 
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