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Just had a tough meeting with the Committee supervisor at work this week and it has been bothering me a LOT all week .

She doesn't appreciate or acknowledge any of my efficiency, dedication, hard work, loyalty, and commitment, which I consider to be one of my best traits in terms of work ethic. I am very goal oriented and focus on completing assignments and subprojects on time, while also producing the highest quality work possible. She totally brushes this off.

She places more emphasis on being outgoing and fun, and she is naturally drawn towards these people and gives them more credit for things even if they don't do much but talk about what they are "going to do" and their "visions" even if they are just empty words. A lot of these extroverted people , yes they TALK a lot but they DO very little, but she is just dazzled by their charisma and thinks so highly of their social abilities. Funny thing is that these extroverted people talk shit about her all the time, and complain about how she is boring and unstructured and just complain a lot about her. But of course, to her face, they suck up and she is just dazzled by them. It's so weird - she is drawn to certain people and is very happy to see them, even though I know 1) they talk crap behind her back and are NOT loyal and 2) they don't even reciprocate or appreciate her at all. And then when it comes to people like ME, she doesnt even appreciate how I am committed, hard working, and genuinely appreciative of her.

And with people who slack off, she just say s"it's okay, maybe they are shy and introverted like i am" and she excuses them. I am introverted, too, but it is no excuse for not doing work. She never says a thing to me about how she appreciates my hard work, or if I do something, she generalizes it and makes it about "your guys' work" even though i am the one making things happen (its been a HUGE problem with some colleagues slacking off greatly). Whenever i try to bring up the issue of commitments (or lack thereof) she kinda just brushes me off and excuses these people as being shy or something. Okay, as someone that has struggled with social anxiety, being shy = no excuse to NOT do work. And i dont know...

I dont know guys. Not sure why exactly this bothers me. But I feel like I'm not getting any acknowledgment for the hard work I'm putting in, even though Ive been doing all of MY work and picking up on everyones slack. It's all about harmony... and she seems to be critical of my efficiency and wanting things to be structured with set deadlines and commitments. Okay, sorry for the vaguenss of this post. i dont know what is exactly bothering me but there is something i havent quite put my finger on yet.
 

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Yeah I had a boss like that too. I know how you feel, it's quite frustrating. Does the work require you to be outgoing/fun? If not, then there is not logical reason as to why she'd want you to be that way.
 

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No, not at all! It's RESEARCH! that's why i am so confused and i feel like i put in all this work and she just brushes me off and talks about how we need more outgoing, charismatic, vibrant , enthusiastic people.

Me = wallflower, quiet, hardworking
 

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Just had a tough meeting with the Committee supervisor at work this week and it has been bothering me a LOT all week .

She doesn't appreciate or acknowledge any of my efficiency, dedication, hard work, loyalty, and commitment, which I consider to be one of my best traits in terms of work ethic. I am very goal oriented and focus on completing assignments and subprojects on time, while also producing the highest quality work possible. She totally brushes this off.

She places more emphasis on being outgoing and fun, and she is naturally drawn towards these people and gives them more credit for things even if they don't do much but talk about what they are "going to do" and their "visions" even if they are just empty words. A lot of these extroverted people , yes they TALK a lot but they DO very little, but she is just dazzled by their charisma and thinks so highly of their social abilities. Funny thing is that these extroverted people talk shit about her all the time, and complain about how she is boring and unstructured and just complain a lot about her. But of course, to her face, they suck up and she is just dazzled by them. It's so weird - she is drawn to certain people and is very happy to see them, even though I know 1) they talk crap behind her back and are NOT loyal and 2) they don't even reciprocate or appreciate her at all. And then when it comes to people like ME, she doesnt even appreciate how I am committed, hard working, and genuinely appreciative of her.

And with people who slack off, she just say s"it's okay, maybe they are shy and introverted like i am" and she excuses them. I am introverted, too, but it is no excuse for not doing work. She never says a thing to me about how she appreciates my hard work, or if I do something, she generalizes it and makes it about "your guys' work" even though i am the one making things happen (its been a HUGE problem with some colleagues slacking off greatly). Whenever i try to bring up the issue of commitments (or lack thereof) she kinda just brushes me off and excuses these people as being shy or something. Okay, as someone that has struggled with social anxiety, being shy = no excuse to NOT do work. And i dont know...

I dont know guys. Not sure why exactly this bothers me. But I feel like I'm not getting any acknowledgment for the hard work I'm putting in, even though Ive been doing all of MY work and picking up on everyones slack. It's all about harmony... and she seems to be critical of my efficiency and wanting things to be structured with set deadlines and commitments. Okay, sorry for the vaguenss of this post. i dont know what is exactly bothering me but there is something i havent quite put my finger on yet.

Well it is as you say, she is not appreciating you despite all the effort you put in. Instead she chooses to acknowledge others when you are the one carrying the whole damn show. That's probably the cause of your dissatisfaction.
 
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Stop picking up other peoples slack, she needs to be made more aware of just how much you are doing and she's not going to be when you are shy and doing other peoples work. It might lead to a bit of confrontation but you have to make her aware of how valuable your effort is.

What kind of work is it? It might be she just see her work differently from how you perceive it so your expectations might be different. I used to be in a similar situation when I was in High School so I tried to be more social with the other workers and it worked kind of well. These type of people don't really see how valuable you are till you're gone.
 

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This is going to sound harsh and the INFJ in me is screaming as I type it but here goes

Some parts of this are just plain "tough Sh%t" I am afraid. The world of work is not based on fairness. Promotions/credit etc does not always go to the people who work the hardest they go to the people who provide their bosses with what they need (could be practical, emotional or results driven). It's not always this way, sometimes you get a good boss who does appreciate good work, but crap managers do happen all too frequently.

Having a crap boss early in a career can be a very useful wake up call - it could give you valuable experience for later.

I hate giving advice about work without knowing more so these are ideas rather than things you should do. Some of this may be risky.

Are you getting formal reviews? Real sit down and go through objectives 1:1 type meetings. If not ask for them. Plan ahead with what you want (INFJ - work it out in advance). Tie your boss down to clear metrics and deliverables. It doesn't sound like this is her strength so make it easy for her by creating them yourself :cool:

Ask for an evaluation - again tie her down - get HER to be very specific about what your performance rating is - with evidence

Ask for a pay rise! - Provide all the detail about why you are worth more. Chances are it will be turned down flat but it will bring the issues right out into the open. Be very clear and precise about what you have done and why you are valuable (not the same thing as what you have done!)

You say people are slacking. Who is responsible for their work? Are you leading them? i.e. are you accountable for the group's deliverables? If so you have a very different problem. If not why are you picking this stuff up?

Is it clear in meeting minutes etc who has what actions to be delivered by when? If no-one is minuting this stuff then pick it up - the person who controls the minutes and the agenda wields some power! Going through the actions list from the previous meetings minutes is a great way of driving accountability.

Are there gaps in your skill set. Work isn't just about task task task. Can you demonstrate a grasp of the bigger strategic picture? (and I don't mean read a business book and spout a load of buzz words) If you can do this and be task oriented then you are onto a winner careerwise. Thaink about what you need to learn here and use this job as sandpit to try some different skills
 

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Boss's cliques are interesting

I was very much part of a manager's "club" once. It was quite a shock when I realised that my boss didn't dote on my peers in the same way. When my manager changed I found I was very much outside of the in crowd - a very different perspective!

Imagine if your boss really appreciated task driven people who got everything done on time and to perfection. How would the more visionary/strategic people in your office feel?
 

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Having a crap boss early in a career can be a very useful wake up call - it could give you valuable experience for later.

Are you getting formal reviews? Real sit down and go through objectives 1:1 type meetings. If not ask for them. Plan ahead with what you want (INFJ - work it out in advance). Tie your boss down to clear metrics and deliverables. It doesn't sound like this is her strength so make it easy for her by creating them yourself :cool:
PaulH: What you say in your two posts is really useful advice, and I share your point of view as well as some of these experiences. If we met, we would probably talk like two old veterans from a civil war (which is not too different from many office wars)...
 

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Huh. I couldn't help but read your situation, and a fun-oriented manager seemed so unusual to hear about at first. (I imagine most as the better-than-you, by-the-book types) Then I remembered "Murphy's Law"; OF COURSE a person who isn't cut out for a managerial job WILL get it!
But I gotta say, you're a damn, honest person! You could turn that situation around and manipulate her in your favor (unless you think that you would be unable to?), but you don't, anyway, and that's really respectable. =)

What is it that you do? Obviously, she's not cut out for the job, (to me, anyone who has a favorable bias isn't.) and what's with the obliviousness? I can't imagine the higher-ups approving of her behavior for very long, especially if she is not the highest ranking manager in the job you work for. If there's that much of a lack of efficiency, someone's gonna notice and she won't be in that position for very long. =O
 

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I know how you feel. I work (well, not for the passed two weeks :laughing:) in a bakery, a big chain of bakeries that don't give a damn about the employees as long as they're working. My boss loaded up a list of complaints he had about me over a month, rather than telling me them as I did things wrong. Very unhelpful, and hindering to my work.

Anyway, I'd try just mentioning little things you do in conversation. Like: "Oh yeah, just yesterday I did..." and bring it to attention without acting too obvious. Then it'll sort of stick in her mind and she might remember you for it.
I don't see why you'd need to be outgoing in research - that just makes no sense! :confused:
 
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