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This thread inspired by @Franktalking – word to your mother.

I've wanted to make mention of this for a while here but was never sure how to go about it. So the basic rundown goes something like this:

– As far back as I can remember, it felt "wrong" being a male.
– I always resented the idea that I should have to have the same interests as other males.
– As such, I spent a fair amount of time crossdressing, which, of course, lead to getting caught.
– The feelings only get stronger with time.

In 2004, I was caught crossdressing. This, obviously, did not end too well. I was lectured repeatedly on the issue and told to stop. I didn't stop. I started talking to mom about it somewhat, and her repeated musing on the subject amounted to nothing more than "you don't want to be a girl." As if she knew what I wanted. You can't just ignore desires you were born with.

Alas, I tried. I tried for many years. In 2008, I had such a strong desire to transition that I was actually considering how to go about it. I knew that my family would never let me live it down, and had various vain issues: I have broad shoulders, bigger hands, what I'd call a big nose (but everyone else is reluctant to), and (stupidly) worried about height (I'm only 5'10). :mellow:

The issue came back in 2010, as I learned from my philosophy professor that her brother is an aspiring MtF trans, and that there were multiple trans students on campus. For what it's worth, the issue never really went away, I just ignored it for sake of family.

In November, I came out to my parents first, and then my friends. My parents more or less said that when / if I transition, our relationships are over. :sad:

On the other end of the scale, my friends were broadly accepting of the proposition: my guy friends threatened to beat up discriminators, and my girl friends offered to 'help' in various ways (hair, make-up, clothes, etc). :tongue:

I know that a good bit of my depression comes from ignoring the issue. Every therapist I've had ended up suggesting transitioning would be good for my mental health and self-image. I don't doubt it at all. :bored:

However, I am entirely unsure what to do now. Anyone been in a similar situation or known someone that dealt with a similar situation? Where should I go with this? What option(s) sound most reasonable, in this case?
 

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It's tough, always. I wish you the very best.

And, yes I've been in the same situation 2 years ago. I've looked for a support group in my region and there I listened to all the stories and were told were I can get HRT and so on. This helped me a lot.

If you have questions, don't hesitate. I live since 1,5 years as girl. However I'm small and somehow cute and I never had any big problem from beginning. My family stands behind me, though it was shocking at first. They learned to see how I really am, and that helped accepting me. Now my mother has two daughters, and it's like it has always been like that.

Maybe I can add my personal experience in how to find your inner vibes, but I guess this would take some sentences to explain. I wish you the very best in finding your way!
 

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Are there any LGBT and Queer friendly clubs or associations where you live? Some may have a support group for transwomen/men. If they don't directly, it's very likely someone will have connections.
 

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Hhhhmmm...

First, good luck to you. I do remember someone in university transitioning though that was a number of years ago now so I'm not sure how that helps. The closest I could get to this is being a rather feminine straight male, though I hope no one finds that offensive as I'm just disclosing my situation here.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Are there any LGBT and Queer friendly clubs or associations where you live? Some may have a support group for transwomen/men. If they don't directly, it's very likely someone will have connections.
I live in a town of 2,600 people in the most redneck state of all. :tongue:
 

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Wow, congrats on coming out!

I'm not sure how far you want to take this though. I know of a trans MtF that is happy with just taking hormones while another has gone the full surgery. Everyone is different.

All that matters though is that you are satisfied that your self-image and actual-image align.

As others have said you should look for support groups (LGBT groups).
They will be able to help you better.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
There isn't even a picture of the town I'm from on google. That should give you some idea of just how hard it is to find anything here. Besides that, there was going to be a gay pride parade during an annual event called Septemberfest, and the gay pride group was actually ran out of town before they could march. :sad:
 

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Why don't you look for a greater city in your region? Don't be stuck in your hometown, otherwise you won't find anything and everything will stay the same. Honestly, I know what depression is like.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Why don't you look for a greater city in your region? Don't be stuck in your hometown, otherwise you won't find anything and everything will stay the same. Honestly, I know what depression is like.
Ah yes, a greater city. I would if I could, and I was for a while. I couldn't go back to college this semester due to outstanding debt... might end up getting a job 30 miles to the North and moving there once I could afford an apartment. Unsure, as yet, however. I lack a car and driving abilities, so moving anywhere is somewhat... troublesome... of a prospect. :bored:
 

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Ah yes, a greater city. I would if I could, and I was for a while. I couldn't go back to college this semester due to outstanding debt... might end up getting a job 30 miles to the North and moving there once I could afford an apartment. Unsure, as yet, however. I lack a car and driving abilities, so moving anywhere is somewhat... troublesome... of a prospect. :bored:
I know it's hard when you can't affort the funds. Still, you can try getting in contact with a support group in your region via internet.
And, I don't know if you are already visiting transsexual forums etc.?

You are not alone, not at all! There are a lot people out there who suffer from GID, even on PerC.

I think it's the best to read more about the topic and think about where you can put yourself to. Everyone is different and is comfortable with different living styles. And I'm sure you'll find your spot if you search for it.

Just watch what stress you can sustain and don't overdo it. For me it resulted in kind of burn-out-syndrome even though I've tried to do it in my own pace. But it takes a lot of energy to transition, at least to me it did. I'm very relieved I'm now living stealth, this makes life just normal and beautiful. When I look back I'm not even sure how I endured the whole ambiguous state, I don't know if I could do it one more time, though the result definitely outweighs the effort! (For me!)

Though there are people who can happily live in that ambiguous state or don't need HRT or surgery or are happy in both genders or or or. I appreciate the variety but for me every thought about that leads to the result I need it all to be able to live the life I feel comfortable with. But this is very individual and everyone should consider everything and shouldn't just follow the transition path offered. It won't make you happy if you don't wish it with all your heart.

Not to speak of the practical difficulties ... I don't know how it is in the US, if you can transition without having the funds?
 

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Discussion Starter #15
In the US, we have the shittiest healthcare system known to mankind. Hormones are prohibitively expensive, and SRS itself costs a fortune to undergo. Nothing in this world is free. :dry:
 

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In the US, we have the shittiest healthcare system known to mankind. Hormones are prohibitively expensive, and SRS itself costs a fortune to undergo. Nothing in this world is free. :dry:
I've watched documentaries about transgender people going to Thailand to get the bottom surgery. It's much cheaper than it is in the United States. Added that you need to pay for a plane ticket which varies depending upon your location but overall cost to stay in Thailand is very cheap. I can't speak for the safety, as I have no experience with any form of surgery. I also do not know anyone in person who has had the full surgery.

I think moving out of your hometown could benefit you a lot. And as others have said, look online for support groups. The best thing you can have is the support of others. They will be able to guide you connect with you.

I hope the best of luck for you.
 

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Sorry to hear about your parents. It's often the case that parents cut their children out of their lives when they transtion. I know people who have had this done to them and it kills them inside everyday. I can't understand how anyone could do that to their kids. I was one of the lucky ones I guess...well kind of.

Well we can choose our friends but not our family. Seems like you got good friends. Best of luck.
 

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Sticky?

I just want to add that as there are so many misconceptions of trans people, and as tran people are more likely to be discriminated,raped, assualted etc, we need all the support we can get. So may I suggest making this a sticky? It could be used as a useful source of information, support, education and act as a mini trans community.
 

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I just want to add that as there are so many misconceptions of trans people, and as tran people are more likely to be discriminated,raped, assualted etc, we need all the support we can get. So may I suggest making this a sticky? It could be used as a useful source of information, support, education and act as a mini trans community.
It's so sad. I've read articles about trans people, and there have been times where they're attacked in a doctors office. Here's the article: High Suicide Risk, Prejudice Plague Transgender People | Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity, Mental Health & Depression | LiveScience Don't let this discourage anyone, it's a small sample. I hope that there will be more acceptance of trans people soon. It's not easy talking to people who just don't understand and don't care to understand trans people.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
I just want to add that as there are so many misconceptions of trans people, and as tran people are more likely to be discriminated,raped, assualted etc, we need all the support we can get. So may I suggest making this a sticky? It could be used as a useful source of information, support, education and act as a mini trans community.
Wish granted, ma'am. :proud:
 
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