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Why would you wish this on anybody?

I dearly hope they're just a guy who thinks it's fun to dress as a woman. Nobody deserves to go though anything even remotely resembling what I have over the last 18 months. If it turns out they are then be happy that they can be true to themselves, but hoping that they are makes it look (to me) like you haven't thought at all about the experience they have to have had for that to be true.
No, you're right. That was foolish of me to say.

Though using "guy dress as woman" is the same thing many folk say about trans women, so maybe rethink your analogy?
 

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Just because it's (incorrectly) used as an accusation in an attempt to invalidate the identity of trans people doesn't mean it doesn't happen. That is a perfectly reasonable description of many crossdressers.
 

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So, I bought some cloths, mostly underwear because I can get away with it in public, but I did start wearing skirts and stuff around the house when I'm alone. Which I love.

It's kinda brought a problem to the surface though. The more I do, the more I feel like what I have done isn't enough. Obviously I can't know what "enough" is unless I get it, but I'm worried that (by vitrue of not being biologically female) nothing I do will never be enough. It obviously gets worse when I have to "switch back," but whenever my mood suffers that feeling pops up. Anyone have experience with that? Am I just insecure and confidence will help that go away? Is it just gonna be something I struggle with on bad days forever?

I want to stress, I've had more good days than ever, days where I spend most/all of the day being unable to keep at least a small smile off my face , but the more infrequent bad days are easily the worst they've ever been. Like all the bad days I didn't have last month teamed up and cramed all their badness into 3 or 4 of those days.
 

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Maid of Time
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So, I bought some cloths, mostly underwear because I can get away with it in public, but I did start wearing skirts and stuff around the house when I'm alone. Which I love.

It's kinda brought a problem to the surface though. The more I do, the more I feel like what I have done isn't enough. Obviously I can't know what "enough" is unless I get it, but I'm worried that (by vitrue of not being biologically female) nothing I do will never be enough. It obviously gets worse when I have to "switch back," but whenever my mood suffers that feeling pops up. Anyone have experience with that? Am I just insecure and confidence will help that go away? Is it just gonna be something I struggle with on bad days forever?
I'm not totally clear on what specifically you're experiencing or what "that feeling" is -- basically you're just trying to get into a place where wearing clothes is enough to help offset the bad feelings, but you're finding that it doesn't always work? Or what exactly?

If some is happy/relieved just by dressing up and it releases something for them so that they can feel fine for awhile living their regular life, then that seems to be a stable point for them and no kind of permanent change is required.

I have to say, the last number of months before I made the jump completely was horrible. It was like I'd feel happy being myself in my spare time, but to have to shove what amounted to a mask back on to go back to the other world was terrible... I cried a lot when I had to do that. I'm glad those days are long over. If you're having an experience where it's devastating to "go back" and you're miserable all the time in the "old world," then that's one of the signs that maybe moving on would be beneficial.
 
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@Jennywocky
The cloths makes every day I can wear them better (on good days I can brace myself and still have fun when I'm out as a guy,) but on bad days the cloths aren't enough anymore and I still feel like I'm not me. The feeling like I'm not able to be myself is there most of the time and always there whenever I have to be out as a guy, but on better days I can ignore it in much the same way I can ignore a headache. Like, I'm aware of it and it's painful but as long as I don't do something to make it worse then I can just not think about it and still have a good time. My worry is that, because the days where I can't just ignore it have gotten more common recently, that I'll just never be rid of it.

I don't really know if I articulated that well. Was that clearer?
 

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Question time, guys and gals. How much does T affect the female genetalia? Thanks.
I don't have firsthand knowledge but I was reading this just yesterday:

Genitals: Testosterone affects the clitoris, which may become more sensitive and somewhat larger (average size between 1 and 3 cm). The vagina may become dryer and more fragile, so if you have vaginal sex, consider adding extra lubricant. Testosterone does not protect you from sexually transmitted infections, Hep C, or HIV. As always, consider using a latex barrier such as a glove, a dental dam, or a condom.
From here. If any FtM people would like to clarify, that would be great.
 

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This thread inspired by @Franktalking – word to your mother.

I've wanted to make mention of this for a while here but was never sure how to go about it. So the basic rundown goes something like this:

– As far back as I can remember, it felt "wrong" being a male.
– I always resented the idea that I should have to have the same interests as other males.
– As such, I spent a fair amount of time crossdressing, which, of course, lead to getting caught.
– The feelings only get stronger with time.

In 2004, I was caught crossdressing. This, obviously, did not end too well. I was lectured repeatedly on the issue and told to stop. I didn't stop. I started talking to mom about it somewhat, and her repeated musing on the subject amounted to nothing more than "you don't want to be a girl." As if she knew what I wanted. You can't just ignore desires you were born with.

Alas, I tried. I tried for many years. In 2008, I had such a strong desire to transition that I was actually considering how to go about it. I knew that my family would never let me live it down, and had various vain issues: I have broad shoulders, bigger hands, what I'd call a big nose (but everyone else is reluctant to), and (stupidly) worried about height (I'm only 5'10). :mellow:

The issue came back in 2010, as I learned from my philosophy professor that her brother is an aspiring MtF trans, and that there were multiple trans students on campus. For what it's worth, the issue never really went away, I just ignored it for sake of family.

In November, I came out to my parents first, and then my friends. My parents more or less said that when / if I transition, our relationships are over. :sad:

On the other end of the scale, my friends were broadly accepting of the proposition: my guy friends threatened to beat up discriminators, and my girl friends offered to 'help' in various ways (hair, make-up, clothes, etc). :tongue:

I know that a good bit of my depression comes from ignoring the issue. Every therapist I've had ended up suggesting transitioning would be good for my mental health and self-image. I don't doubt it at all. :bored:

However, I am entirely unsure what to do now. Anyone been in a similar situation or known someone that dealt with a similar situation? Where should I go with this? What option(s) sound most reasonable, in this case?
Well,I hate the notion of gender all together as its not really productive. I also wish things were like when they were in kindergarden where every member of the other sex was activly trying to get in your pants(I mean this both ways) and you can say "Hey lets hang out without someone saying internally 'Yeah I getting sex tonight'. Id rather people would treat me as a human being but thanks to my hieght, size, and gender I will always be treated one way if I like it or not. I delt with everything with a superioty complex, and gradiose fantasy. I can be whoever I want in my mind.
 

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The No More Hero
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I don't have firsthand knowledge but I was reading this just yesterday:



From here. If any FtM people would like to clarify, that would be great.
Well it is some help. My boyfriend is FTM and is currently taking hormones. Today he was showering and he noticed that his sexual organs where different than mine. The touch was different and he wondered if it was because of the hormones, I said it is because I had been reading about it but he wondered about other effects it would have on him.

I'll give him the link and await for more answers. Regardless thank you.
 

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Is it okay to talk about sex in therapy? Did any of you do/does that?
it should be ok to talk about sex in therapy and many people do, just not all therapists are good with that. there are specific "sex therapists" as well who specialize in sex related issues that you could get a referral to if your regular therapist isn't up to snuff
 

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Yaybe
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I can't stand people who give people in the LGBT community a hard time.
If someone were to come up to me even if they were my own kids I would want to talk to them the pros and cons of such a transformation as there is a lot to think about, and then if they still want to go ahead with it I would support them in their endeavor.

Hope this helps.
 

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I'm rather conflicted to post this or not...

During my time away from PerC, somehow I found myself reading into the experiences of Trans people. I came across certain terms, like "gender euphoria." I've always known about Trans stuff to a degree, but I've largely been uneducated about it. For the longest time, I believed one had to be absolutely miserable/disatisfied with whatever gender assigned at birth in order to be Trans. Since I never really exactly experienced this, I never gave serious thought about this subject matter. However, a few months back, reading certain stories and experiences from certain people, I dunno, it felt like things were clicking in my mind. I am MAAB, but I have, for the longest time, had this affinity for opposite gender, and I don't really mean in a romantic/attraction sense. No, I have been fond of the idea of being the opposite gender. In RPG games especially, 9/10 times I'll create a female character; if I choose a male character, I cannot feel immersed in the story/dialogue. When it comes to female characters in cartoons, shows, and movies, I tend to relate most to them, assuming they're written with depth and substance over the male characters. I've never really questioned such reasons before, but once I did, my mind ran like a locomotive trying to figure out why I was letting this Trans stuff get to me when I never did the usual crossdressing or other offbeat things that I often heard about from other Trans people; what I've learned is that, surprise! such experiences differ after all. Some heavily repress this or simply try to be ignorant of such thoughts, like I did.

I remember someone asking me, if there was a button I could press and magically be the opposite gender, would I? My answer is yes...
I have never really felt 'right' while living this life as a guy. Always felt as if something was off, but could never put my finger on it, so I just kinda dealt with it. I've looked into what it would mean to start HRT and all that jazz. It unfortunately scares me, all the stuff about hormones and how you'll have to take them indefinitely for the rest of your life and possible side effects... Haven't said anything to anyone close about this because as I said earlier, I am conflicted. Some days I'll go, "Yep, I'm totally trans closeted" and other days, "Wtf are you thinking?!"

Given how much mental anguish it gives me must mean something major is up regardless. Yay...?
 

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I'm rather conflicted to post this or not...

During my time away from PerC, somehow I found myself reading into the experiences of Trans people. I came across certain terms, like "gender euphoria." I've always known about Trans stuff to a degree, but I've largely been uneducated about it. For the longest time, I believed one had to be absolutely miserable/disatisfied with whatever gender assigned at birth in order to be Trans. Since I never really exactly experienced this, I never gave serious thought about this subject matter. However, a few months back, reading certain stories and experiences from certain people, I dunno, it felt like things were clicking in my mind. I am MAAB, but I have, for the longest time, had this affinity for opposite gender, and I don't really mean in a romantic/attraction sense. No, I have been fond of the idea of being the opposite gender. In RPG games especially, 9/10 times I'll create a female character; if I choose a male character, I cannot feel immersed in the story/dialogue. When it comes to female characters in cartoons, shows, and movies, I tend to relate most to them, assuming they're written with depth and substance over the male characters. I've never really questioned such reasons before, but once I did, my mind ran like a locomotive trying to figure out why I was letting this Trans stuff get to me when I never did the usual crossdressing or other offbeat things that I often heard about from other Trans people; what I've learned is that, surprise! such experiences differ after all. Some heavily repress this or simply try to be ignorant of such thoughts, like I did.

I remember someone asking me, if there was a button I could press and magically be the opposite gender, would I? My answer is yes...
I have never really felt 'right' while living this life as a guy. Always felt as if something was off, but could never put my finger on it, so I just kinda dealt with it. I've looked into what it would mean to start HRT and all that jazz. It unfortunately scares me, all the stuff about hormones and how you'll have to take them indefinitely for the rest of your life and possible side effects... Haven't said anything to anyone close about this because as I said earlier, I am conflicted. Some days I'll go, "Yep, I'm totally trans closeted" and other days, "Wtf are you thinking?!"

Given how much mental anguish it gives me must mean something major is up regardless. Yay...?
I don't know if I'm G, B, T or none of these things right now. I'll still have to ask around myself.
 

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@Korra, have you considered nonbinary identities? I feel as though the reason those exist is because of experiences similar to what you describe here. That there's something for you besides just cis or trans, and nothing in between.
 

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@Korra, have you considered nonbinary identities? I feel as though the reason those exist is because of experiences similar to what you describe here. That there's something for you besides just cis or trans, and nothing in between.
Whew, I won't lie, it is something that has crossed my mind, but I'm simply caught in a fog with that too. I have come to a point where I start to question what exactly being male or female means, for me that is. I go through loops where I come to no concrete conclusions.
What it possibly comes down to... I suppose I just don't feel 'free' under my current state. It doesn't feel natural to express myself how I want to... it's difficult to explain.

Arghhh, I know this reply doesn't really clarify much to your question, but I do thank you for the input regardless! So fuzzy on all this.
 

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The No More Hero
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Hello everyone, Aya again with questions because yeah.

So my boyfriend has become unsure about having bottom surgery and has been seeking solutions and possibilities for him. His biggest fear is that he might lose sexual pleasure and that he might be unable to have sex with me. He has come across a peecock but doesn't know if that is good enough or if there are better things for his issue. Plus, it's expensive and only lasts for year.

Do you guys know of anything that might help?

For those who don't know what a peecock is here's an example Peecock Products - 4.75 Inch Triple Features Gen3S Pee-Cock He originally wanted to get something like this but is unsure because of price.

Before I forget, link is NFSW.
 

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Hmph, I've noticed there are a *lot* of trans men in/from Oregon. Why is this? Due to their more liberal/accepting culture, more health clinics, or simply coincidence? It's sort of become a "San Francisco" but for transmasculine folk, in my mind.
 

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I'm rather conflicted to post this or not...

During my time away from PerC, somehow I found myself reading into the experiences of Trans people. I came across certain terms, like "gender euphoria." I've always known about Trans stuff to a degree, but I've largely been uneducated about it. For the longest time, I believed one had to be absolutely miserable/disatisfied with whatever gender assigned at birth in order to be Trans. Since I never really exactly experienced this, I never gave serious thought about this subject matter. However, a few months back, reading certain stories and experiences from certain people, I dunno, it felt like things were clicking in my mind. I am MAAB, but I have, for the longest time, had this affinity for opposite gender, and I don't really mean in a romantic/attraction sense. No, I have been fond of the idea of being the opposite gender. In RPG games especially, 9/10 times I'll create a female character; if I choose a male character, I cannot feel immersed in the story/dialogue. When it comes to female characters in cartoons, shows, and movies, I tend to relate most to them, assuming they're written with depth and substance over the male characters. I've never really questioned such reasons before, but once I did, my mind ran like a locomotive trying to figure out why I was letting this Trans stuff get to me when I never did the usual crossdressing or other offbeat things that I often heard about from other Trans people; what I've learned is that, surprise! such experiences differ after all. Some heavily repress this or simply try to be ignorant of such thoughts, like I did.

I remember someone asking me, if there was a button I could press and magically be the opposite gender, would I? My answer is yes...
I have never really felt 'right' while living this life as a guy. Always felt as if something was off, but could never put my finger on it, so I just kinda dealt with it. I've looked into what it would mean to start HRT and all that jazz. It unfortunately scares me, all the stuff about hormones and how you'll have to take them indefinitely for the rest of your life and possible side effects... Haven't said anything to anyone close about this because as I said earlier, I am conflicted. Some days I'll go, "Yep, I'm totally trans closeted" and other days, "Wtf are you thinking?!"

Given how much mental anguish it gives me must mean something major is up regardless. Yay...?
You know, what you describe is actually fairly typical for most people when they get around the idea that they were trans. I relate a lot to what you describe btw except in reverse, being AFAB. I do tend to prefer female characters in fiction though, mostly because aesthetically they look better and the grunt brawny idea of masculinity that's idealized in the west doesn't attract me. If there were Asian styled guys though, yeah, I'd play those.

Typically, what I tend to suggest to people that are at the start of their realizations is to begin to explore those feelings. Going all the way to HRT right away is brash and can led to outcomes that may be regretted later on. Some things HRT change cannot be reversed, so one needs to be completely informed of what one is doing before starting HRT. However, there are other small things you can do like trying out other names (even if just online with new people), changing the way you dress etc. These things can be reversed and have no long-lasting effects and that will also tell you with what you feel comfortable with and what feels right for you and what doesn't.

I would also contact a gender therapist nearby if it's possible for you. They can help you sort out your thoughts as well.

Hello everyone, Aya again with questions because yeah.

So my boyfriend has become unsure about having bottom surgery and has been seeking solutions and possibilities for him. His biggest fear is that he might lose sexual pleasure and that he might be unable to have sex with me. He has come across a peecock but doesn't know if that is good enough or if there are better things for his issue. Plus, it's expensive and only lasts for year.

Do you guys know of anything that might help?

For those who don't know what a peecock is here's an example Peecock Products - 4.75 Inch Triple Features Gen3S Pee-Cock He originally wanted to get something like this but is unsure because of price.

Before I forget, link is NFSW.
Nice, but so expensive. I haven't felt a need for a packer personally, like idk, I don't feel like the nature of my masculinity hinges on whether I got some brunt in my underwear, but the idea of a penis seems to unconsciously creep more into my mind, seeing how I've had dreams about that twice now quite recently. First I don't remember anymore, but last I remember being asked if I literally had a penis or not, and I just whipped on out of my pants lol, and then the other person said something like "good, you're not trans" or something. Weird as hell.
 
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