Transforming... I finally see how things work for me, and some questions still

As you already know I had this sadness, depression if like, low selfesteem the usual... going on for years... but know thanks to my therapist and mom and some self insight I see how these feelings work for me. I've became attatched those conditions, and believing I was this way, this is me. I identifided way too much with those feelings. And as bad as it sound I believe(d) to be a victim of my own misery. My own critical voice and I thought and truly believed I didn't had to power or strenght to go against it. Or to not pay so much attention to it. Mabye this sounds all nothing new to you but for me it's a discovery, how much I searched for a place were everthing was perfect and dreamlike. Now I finally understand that every place has it's lows and that life is a changing procedure not a fixed state of heaven. So I kind of give up my tendancy for wanting the perfect out of life and out of myself. I also so how much I blamed my parents, the world, and my personality for my unhappiness. Now I see they aren't responisbly for my feelings, I am the only one that is responisble for that! Oke the world isn't perfect, and nor there are places and people that stay that way, I deal with it... I'ts like I woke up from my own dreams. And I also know my defenise mechanism and that's isolation, and I trying to go against that too! I send way to much time locked up like a hermit almost... I'ts if Im working on all my unhealthy infp tendencies. I really feel i have more insight. And i also have some streaks of denpendace of other people and fears of not finding or holding a job. I have way more insight in my problems. I also looked up Eckhart Tolle and he also helped me a lot. So I'm going to take up all the things I neglected these two months like normal eating, my fitness, my friends, searching for a second job. The biggest insight I have is that I didn't took responsibilty for my own life so to say...... I felt I wasn't ''ready'' or ''good'' enough (yet). Or that I coudn't be seen like this, and that I couldn't endure mistakes, ( I tend to give up too easily if things won't work out like I want it...) Or anybody else here also felt that way? I was way to heavy on escapism like reading books, music, hanging on the internet, sleeping, crying... I also learned that my fears are from my child side and not from the person I am today. The adult. And before I quit this little rant, I wanted to ask for some insight, (haha still I also have to learn to trust my own opinion but still) right now Im attanding the least year of art school, (yes going there was also a youth thing of mine, I'm much more aware of the consequences this day...) there were many times I wanted to quit it because of the presure and vaguqe future from it but I still kept going. In the mean while I'm looking for other jobs outside the art field. And I found out I liked helping people, and healthcare, but I want to be more realistic this time... so Im volunteering at the eldery home in my neigborhood, seeing of such work is for me, and I was looking up for dental nurse. Are there actually INFP's who work in those fields? How is the work for you? How do you expierince it? I know for being a dental nurse you have to be very punctual, but I can learn that, there is a lot of apeal for me for that job. When I was youngher I always wanted to be some bohemian, but know... I became much more realistic and I see the opertunities of money. And how that can lead to an easier life... haha mabye these insights come wayyyy earlier for other people but I'm glad I found out! Now it's time to acting on them. Do you also have had expernieced such things? I would like to hear from you all