But you can't get along with everyone, some you will clash with, some will stay in your lives forever and some you'll want to run away from, lol .. It seems like a very selfless act you display, but at a cost to yourself. I understand wanting to resolve issues, but sometimes i know even my best is not enough .. In my case i am only accountability for my actions, and can not place so much power on another individual to change. I admire your strength but i admit i am selfish (only learned to be this way in the last year, work in progress, lol )Oh no you're perfectly right - relationships run their course, but I don't think I'm alone in saying that ENFPs tend to want (or rather feel like they need) to get along with everyone and to be in a 'good place' with everyone. So, if I'm not getting along with someone, regardless of where the relationships is on its course, indeed even if it's "run it'.. I can't end things on a bad note. I keep trying different approaches until it somehow 'works'. It's a good thing and also a curse.. on the one hand it means I'm friends with all of my ex's, because I keep communicating until all mis-understandings are resolved, on the other hand it means I've stayed friends with a few people who weren't amazingly nice to me and in that sense it's a bad thing. Once I care about someone I'm basically only able to walk out on them if they're really really horrible to me. Otherwise, even if we're no longer great friends, everything's either resolved or being resolved.
I think only a healthy individual takes responsibility for their part. Unfortunately not everyone is healthy. I don't think blame needs to be passed to the other person, like i said, in every situation lessons can be learned and if the individual is open minded enough they will heed that lesson.I think we also like to "own up to our responsibilities" and want to recognize our part in anything gone wrong. So even if it wasn't us and there was dysfunction we would rather take the blame than feel like we were passing it on to someone else. Not because we are martyrs, but because we are trying to do the right thing: accept responsibility. It's because of this desire to be "true to ourselves" and "noble" it is often hard to accept that it really wasn't us. We DON'T want to be fake. Does that make sense?
It makes sense
Thank you for responding. Apologies for taking your thread somewhat off subject. I am curious regarding peoples behaviours and thinking.
I think you might be onto something there :sad:But I think guilt played a huge part. I think he hated himself and he turned it onto me.