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Discussion Starter #1
How do you deal with those? Disease, friendship dwindling down to nothing, assaults of any sort, depression, life in general. How do you "cope"?

I go to some unhealthy places when my support gives way. I read scary things and wait for tragedies and misfortune. In fact, that's where I am now. How 'bout you?
 

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My first thought by the title was to say "no such thing." Now I am revising that to say eveything is traumatic for me and I get over them the same way every time. I go to the bad places like you are speaking of and eventually get some friend support, feel a little better but go to bad places again and then eventually come out of it having learned a ton.
 

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Generally they change my life, if they are massive enough, in a noticeable way. I have dealt with different traumatic events differently of course, so it's hard to give a blanket answer. But I suppose overall I integrate them into my evolving view of the world. I naturally don't let go of my values when viewing the world, so I constantly ask whether this event supports or goes against my values. And if it goes against my values, I need to investigate my values to see if they need to change.
 

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Generally they change my life, if they are massive enough, in a noticeable way.

I wish that were the case for me. My wife had an affair and I still couldn't pull it together to change for the better. If I could have I "Might" have been able to save our marriage. Regret is so hard to deal with.

When trauma hits me it usually has a delayed effect. I'll be numb for a while and then fall apart like what's happening to me now. I am so lost. Lost inside my head and feelings and fantasies. I HATE my stupid f'ing feelings. I HATE being a 4!!!!!! It's caused me nothing but pain.
 
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Hey, now, a 4 can be a distinctively independent, well-functioning type. There's lots of hope for you to resurface from the pain. It's in you already, man! Your feelings are familiar to mine and all ours. 4s do have a strong melancholic air about them, but it's allll good. We can just help each other out.

But it is hard to feel like you're generally losing. Type 4 and trauma def. don't mix well most times
 

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Thanks for the "lift", I need it right now.
 

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I listen to a lot of Tupac and heavy metal and work out incessantly. Mostly just being by myself going running out in the woods and stuff, I'm weird though.
 
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One of my favorite things to do is to be in the woods by myself. I feel the calmest, most connected to
"me" when I'm in nature.
 

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when i'm depressed it runs in a predictable cycle .
the first stage- i wallow, lose sleep, cry randomly, isolate myself to see if anyone wants to pry and rescue me.
the second stage- i work hard at convincing myself it doesn't matter, while randomly slipping back to the first stage.
the final stage- complete apathy towards everything, neglect any school work i have, talk bitterly and cynically when i'm with others, all the while still trying to convince myself that i'm not hurt even though i'm projecting that i'm invincible to others.
 

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Shoot, I don't even like being out in the rain, much less a forest, but if I'm with someone I don't hate I'm up for heightening my senses out in the wild for a li'l bit. Actually, there's this thing called forest bathing. You can get some great natural chemicals from all the green-ness. It'll make you feel hella better I bet

To AvaAdore, yeah, that's pretty 4-ish alright. lol When distressed I don't have enough of my wits about me to make people think I'm invincible. I'm impressed. Must be pretty painful, too.
 

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I've got one for everyone. We (soon to be ex and myself) just broke the news to our 5 and 2 year old daughters that we're getting divorced. Talk about Trauma. I actually threw up right before we told them. I had to run to the bathroom before we sat down.
 

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I've got one for everyone. We (soon to be ex and myself) just broke the news to our 5 and 2 year old daughters that we're getting divorced. Talk about Trauma. I actually threw up right before we told them. I had to run to the bathroom before we sat down.
Are you holding up better now? Woo-wee, your nerves must'a been fierce, guy.

Your signature caught my attention. H.P. Lovecraft? whoa
 

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Better? Yes in the sense the knot that was in my stomach all day is gone. In reality, I'm nowhere near better. My life is crashing down around me. My wife is leaving and I don't know how to deal with it. I shouldn't say I don't know how. I know how to deal with it in the only way I can, to dive to the depths of what plagues all 4's in times like these. THAT is why I hate being a 4. The pre-occupation with my feelings sucks because my feelings right now are just SOOOOOOOOOOO painful. F.M.L.
 
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When my ex dumped me when I was 15, all I was able to do was to sit in a chair hyperventilating violently. I normally do the best I can to avoid showing emotions to my parents, but they were there the whole time. They found a bag I could breathe in, because that was the only way I could calm down. I wanted to go to my room so I could cry, but they wouldn't allow me to be alone. Eventually I couldn't hold my tears back. She was my first (and only) girlfriend and we were only together for 3 months. I don't think I'd be able to survive a divorce..

Also, this doesn't really count as a trauma I think, but it's somewhere in that direction. I've always suffered from anxiety. Travelling for vacation has always been hard on me emotionally, usually showing itself through vomiting or headache. When I went to London a couple of years ago I was just constantly sad and unable to eat anything and my nose would start bleeding now and then (even though I had it operated several years ago!). I spent the first two nights lying in the shower crying while the blood ran from my nose. I cried every time I had a chance to be alone.

But the most amazing thing is that we found some weed during the third day and all of that stopped; the rest of the vacation was just awesome! I really think weed is a great natural medicine, though it (like everything else) can be abused.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
O____________O It's so good when 4s can just come together and share...

My life is crashing down around me. My wife is leaving and I don't know how to deal with it. I shouldn't say I don't know how. I know how to deal with it in the only way I can, to dive to the depths of what plagues all 4's in times like these. THAT is why I hate being a 4. The pre-occupation with my feelings sucks because my feelings right now are just SOOOOOOOOOOO painful. F.M.L.
I...can't disagree with you there. 4s are probably the most in touch with their 'insides' than any other enneatype. When we feel it's either free falling into cartoon clouds, or a car crash. U-usually the car crash.. Being the 4 with depression on top? Yyyeah, let's have a pow wow.

Bear with me this: what you're going through is for your own good. It is. All people go through cycles, but types like us often deal with it harder 'cuz of our peculiar connection to the 'inside.' Just remember, your life with your wife hasn't worked out, so it isn't where you were meant to have your future yet. Your life isn't falling apart. Time is merely unraveling and revealing, and it's the best thing for you if you can hang in there. The emotions are our way, period. Therefore, they're not in our way. They're protecting you. Literally. You're hurting, but not because you're losing. Pain means you're getting back up. Don't be fooled into thinking it means you're losing - the act of it is choosing to lose. I let myself fall after hypnotizing myself with doom. Doom comes from us alone. Healing (aka emotions) comes naturally. The only thing you have to do is understand that you and your body are healing yourselves. *ahem* Sorry for all that rambling.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
When my ex dumped me when I was 15, all I was able to do was to sit in a chair hyperventilating violently. I normally do the best I can to avoid showing emotions to my parents, but they were there the whole time. They found a bag I could breathe in, because that was the only way I could calm down. I wanted to go to my room so I could cry, but they wouldn't allow me to be alone. Eventually I couldn't hold my tears back. She was my first (and only) girlfriend and we were only together for 3 months. I don't think I'd be able to survive a divorce..

Also, this doesn't really count as a trauma I think, but it's somewhere in that direction. I've always suffered from anxiety. Travelling for vacation has always been hard on me emotionally, usually showing itself through vomiting or headache. When I went to London a couple of years ago I was just constantly sad and unable to eat anything and my nose would start bleeding now and then (even though I had it operated several years ago!). I spent the first two nights lying in the shower crying while the blood ran from my nose. I cried every time I had a chance to be alone.

But the most amazing thing is that we found some weed during the third day and all of that stopped; the rest of the vacation was just awesome! I really think weed is a great natural medicine, though it (like everything else) can be abused.
I wanted to do this separately so it didn't conglomerate into a presidential speech. heh That is pretty depressing. It's awesome you cried, but in the tub? That's like a movie scene! I'm picturing it. It's cool and honestly humorous at the same time. Are we friends yet? lol

Wow. haha Yeah, it can be overused. But I'm glad you found it. It shouldn't be illegal anyway.
 

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I wanted to do this separately so it didn't conglomerate into a presidential speech. heh That is pretty depressing. It's awesome you cried, but in the tub? That's like a movie scene! I'm picturing it. It's cool and honestly humorous at the same time. Are we friends yet? lol

Wow. haha Yeah, it can be overused. But I'm glad you found it. It shouldn't be illegal anyway.
Yes, I also find that tub-scene funny, even though it wasn't. Even when it happened, I was able to see how pathetic I must've looked, you know, so pathetic it's funny. I actually think that's what calmed me down so I could finish the shower and go to bed.
 

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I head back to my hell...
maybe I cut a bit (sometimes i do), i feel depressed, and i try to do something about it if i can't really take it
i think a lot
or do any kind of art. That's what I usually do. I write my pain in poems and I feel much better. Or listen to music that suits my mood. Now, that is true.
 
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