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Some explanation first,

In the tritype 478, when any one triad is under stress,

4 disintegrates to 2
7 disintegrates to 1
8 disintegrates to 5

Basically, when one triad disintegrates, it leads to the integration state of another, 4 to 8's, 7 to 4's, and 8 to 7's, and this therefore means that when under stress, 478 finds "light"

and this is something I have seen consistently in my life, it's like I'm built for hardship, when under stress, I simply will not "buckle", I will find some meaning, some answer, something that feels right, though I feel all wrong, it's like when one of me falls, the other rises, but not in a natural way, but it still rises, and sees "the light".

For example, I just had a 8-stress moment, my ENTIRE body is feeling 5-ish, there's withdrawal stress, and I am dwelling on something small, but my 7's on overdrive! It's picking up so much 5 stuff, that it's just working overtime, "in the light", though I feel all wrong, I am integrating elsewhere, and from memory, after a while, everything settles down, and I am wiser, somewhere.

But in the case of integration,

4 integrates to 1
7 integrates to 5
8 integrates to 2

It feels right, but something goes down, this is another repeating pattern in my life, I feel good, but not all good, something gets affected, but not in a bad way, I just go down in some areas, like say for instance, for a really long time, I learned to go 2 from 8, but my heart got affected, I couldn't see my own needs, and the altruism was affecting my 4, in a good way, but towards disintegration, it's hard to explain, but let's just say for a long time I lost my individuality, but I did not regret it one bit, until I sat down to do some 4 things, and realized I couldn't be a 4 anymore.

This is super interesting because for a long time, I kept thinking I was a 369, when younger (about 4-6 years ago at 21) when I took the test, I scored a 9, but that was before tritypes, and deeper understanding of self, fears, etc, and I thought it made a lot of sense, but one thing I did not understand nor connect to, was the 9's "fear of loss", I was always okay with loss, I always feared losing my "independence", my sense of "control", "missing out", etc, but it was just all back there, I didn't know what it was. I just liked the 9, but I wouldn't just "sit", and I knew it. I couldn't compromise myself for someone else, I did not know how to take a stand, but I always took a stand, it wasn't until I was older that I knew how to, but I always felt like I was "in flow", and this was why I identified with the 9, because of the "flow"

This part gets relevant, because recently, when I decided to take a break and figure out "myself", and what "I wanted to do", I just went with the "flow", tried very hard, actually, but it always came out wrong, plus I felt like there was a flow, of sorts, internally, but this attempt to "find a place" was much more complicated than it would have been to a "369" because well, they would have just truly gone with the flow, whereas going with the flow felt like a "surrender" like I "was dead", or "dying", but I kept feeling this "flow", but of a kind I could not explain

And though I kept identifying with the 8, the 7, and even the 4, I just felt like it was "all wrong" and "too aggressive" because I kept trying to fit in to the flow, as I write this, I'm feeling my 8 integrate to a 2, as altruism comes into my awareness, but it's affecting my 4, bringing it down, in a good way, but down nevertheless, and this is how altruism has affected me, 2-3 years before, made me feel good, physically, but not emotionally, it was always like "something was wrong" when "something was right", but not in a 4 kinda way, just... it feels good, but it's not everything.

And hardships always felt like, "I got this!" or "Fuck! This is what's happening!", or "Fuck! This is it!", and everyone would be like, "Does nothing get you down?" well I just never felt anything could, really, and nothing ever did, until I dug too deep, and "lost myself", actually "surrendered" to the flow, it started with me letting my body go, and the rest of me followed, but what's interesting is, even when I'd "let my body go" I was still being an 8, just one under extreme stress, and completely delirious to the fact that the 8 was being an 8, while the 8 thought that the 8 was a 9, which the 8 never was.

The same goes for the other 3 triads, all relevant, because I kept thinking I was a 369 for several months, because of the "flow" connection, and some periods in between when I was "off" Enneagram and MBTI, and identifying with social norms, I kept thinking I was the "mid-path" when in reality, I had never been there, except as a wing, all 3 of my types have the "mid" wing 8w9, 4w3, 7w6, and this has really been my only connection with "normalcy", as is the "mid" state of each triad.

I know a lot of the latter part was personal experience, but it was all concerning this "flow" I kept feeling within me, and these drives I could not explain, as to how I always "felt" normal, but never "was". Like a 369 would be the "ideal" citizen, the one who flows with the place and time, the 478 (and other possible arrangements of the tritype) still flows but never hits the center, except in wing, and I find this very interesting.

Like when under stress, it's down, but bright (I'm learning!)! And when integrating, it's up but dark (It feels good, *internal pull*)!

The latter effect being less significant than the former, the more integrated the state.

This could also be the case with 215 (and other possible arrangements of the tritype) as well, can anyone share their experiences, of both tritypes?

With this tritype, it's

2 integrates to 4
1 integrates to 7
5 integrates to 8

So, similar experience, as well?


Note: In average states, not extreme integration or disintegration. Depression/other similarly serious conditions are not a joke, and need to be handled professionally, for effective healing. I do remember feeling one triad affect another during extreme states, but it was far more powerful than when average. Do share your personal experiences in extreme states.
 
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