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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello my fellow ISFP's! I need some help here, as the title of the thread says! Is there ANY way to get over this anxiety of asking this girl out that I am VERY into? Or, just some helpful hints and/or ideas about how to not sound like a blundering, stuttering idiot? I appreciate any ideas you may have! I have always had a problem asking girls out without getting extremely nervous and stuttering like a fool and looking down at the floor.So, any help at all would be GREATLY appreciated! Thanks!
 

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Hello my fellow ISFP's! I need some help here, as the title of the thread says! Is there ANY way to get over this anxiety of asking this girl out that I am VERY into? Or, just some helpful hints and/or ideas about how to not sound like a blundering, stuttering idiot? I appreciate any ideas you may have! I have always had a problem asking girls out without getting extremely nervous and stuttering like a fool and looking down at the floor.So, any help at all would be GREATLY appreciated! Thanks!
I wish you good luck. Unfortunately, I don't exactly know how to myself. :crying: *waits on the responses of other ISFPs*
 

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Be confident in what you want. You want her to make you happy, so make that your priority rather than her happiness. You are obviously a great guy, so make her know that AFTER you ask her out. Be all confident and stuff.
 

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While it's a cliche, just be yourself. Don't make yourself into someone more or less than who you really are, that way if she does accept the date, she'll be getting the real deal, and you'll feel more confident. If you can accept the fact that you are who you are, the anxiety will go away.
Yes, that used to work for me. Until stupid fucking movies like Superbad came out and made being awkward popular now, so whenever I'm "myself" I get told "you remind me of superbad!" no idiot, Superbad reminds you of me.... Dam hipsters make me look like a fake, so now I don't look awkward/cute, I look like I'm a ****** because I copy how I act off of movies..... I'm serious, those movies and actors like Jonah Hill and Michael Cerra have ruined me with the ladies....

Any other introverts had their lives similarly affected by these movies/actors?
 

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*raises hand* The whole hipster trend looks like people faking Fi-dom and now nerdiness is sexy? D; I wanted the nerds to myself.

Honestly? Yes, drop some hints. Get some opinions from her friends and find out whether she likes you. Find some IOIs and go for it! And if it's that bad (though most will disagree with this), find out whether she likes you over text. You're by no means obligated to read her reply right away and you don't have to subject yourself to throwing up on your shoes. :tongue: And then ask her out in real life.
 

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*raises hand* The whole hipster trend looks like people faking Fi-dom and now nerdiness is sexy? D; I wanted the nerds to myself.

Honestly? Yes, drop some hints. Get some opinions from her friends and find out whether she likes you. Find some IOIs and go for it! And if it's that bad (though most will disagree with this), find out whether she likes you over text. You're by no means obligated to read her reply right away and you don't have to subject yourself to throwing up on your shoes. :tongue: And then ask her out in real life.
I don't know if I'd be able to ask someone if they like me over text, I'd die of nervousness. :shocked:
 

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I'm not a nerd but I suppose I'm kind of nerdy. :tongue:
 

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Ok I have the same problem and here's the resson why I think Isfp have this problem I thnk it has to do with are value system we vaule what we want the most and on that day you value wanting to ask her out more then anything else! As an isfp we have a hard time expressing are feelings towards someone. Since we are very good listeners I think asking the right questions and getting them on a subject that they can express there opions will help, Kinda beating around the bush about it and you can always can bring up what do you look in a person when looing for a realationship? See if you can ralate to what they are saying. Instead of just coming right out and saying do you wanna go out sometime. You just have to calm your nerves down and isntead of just flat out asking you can slowly ask the question and that will help relax you!
 

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Ok I have the same problem and here's the resson why I think Isfp have this problem I thnk it has to do with are value system we vaule what we want the most and on that day you value wanting to ask her out more then anything else! As an isfp we have a hard time expressing are feelings towards someone. Since we are very good listeners I think asking the right questions and getting them on a subject that they can express there opions will help, Kinda beating around the bush about it and you can always can bring up what do you look in a person when looing for a realationship? See if you can ralate to what they are saying. Instead of just coming right out and saying do you wanna go out sometime. You just have to calm your nerves down and isntead of just flat out asking you can slowly ask the question and that will help relax you!
I was under the impression that isfp's were very good at showing their feelings towards someone. I know I believe I am anyhow.

Its been several days so you may have already asked her out. Some useful info would be how well you know this girl, how long you have known her, and what kind of relationship you two currently have.

If it were me. The first thing I would do is to do my best to get over the anxiety. I understand that that can be very very difficult because I have been there. However, if you can make yourself realize that she is just one girl and that if she says no. Then thats all that is going to happen. She said no to you. When you break it down like this, it doesnt seem like such a big deal. We build them up in such a way that its like they are god like and the world will end when they say no (I used to do the same thing myself). I think the best thing you could do, is get her over to your house. Call her up or meet her wherever it is you see her regularly and ask her if she would like to come hang out at your house some time. Find something you enjoy doing and let her participate in it with you. Try to make your environment very comfortable for her. Then if all goes well, when she leaves later in the day or whatever you may be able to set up a dinner date or something.
 

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I was under the impression that isfp's were very good at showing their feelings towards someone. I know I believe I am anyhow.

Its been several days so you may have already asked her out. Some useful info would be how well you know this girl, how long you have known her, and what kind of relationship you two currently have.

If it were me. The first thing I would do is to do my best to get over the anxiety. I understand that that can be very very difficult because I have been there. However, if you can make yourself realize that she is just one girl and that if she says no. Then thats all that is going to happen. She said no to you. When you break it down like this, it doesnt seem like such a big deal. We build them up in such a way that its like they are god like and the world will end when they say no (I used to do the same thing myself). I think the best thing you could do, is get her over to your house. Call her up or meet her wherever it is you see her regularly and ask her if she would like to come hang out at your house some time. Find something you enjoy doing and let her participate in it with you. Try to make your environment very comfortable for her. Then if all goes well, when she leaves later in the day or whatever you may be able to set up a dinner date or something.

Yes you are correct we are good at showing are feelings towards someone, I just think there's not enough information about the situation to go too far in to showing feelings in this case. If you know her very well ask her to go some where's that she would enjoy, or create something for her!
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Wow, thanks for all the information guys! Yeah, I agree BuckVincent about putting the girl up on this pedestal, making them out to be god-like. I've just always struggled with it, but hey, I'll give all your ideas a whirl! Pretty much, I'll just need to find a way of calming my nerves, like instead of directly saying, "Hey, wanna go out sometime" I should try to build up to it? Haha, I hate over-thinking the situation! Anyways, thanks again all!
 

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Wow, thanks for all the information guys! Yeah, I agree BuckVincent about putting the girl up on this pedestal, making them out to be god-like. I've just always struggled with it, but hey, I'll give all your ideas a whirl! Pretty much, I'll just need to find a way of calming my nerves, like instead of directly saying, "Hey, wanna go out sometime" I should try to build up to it? Haha, I hate over-thinking the situation! Anyways, thanks again all!
We have all been there man. Its part of human nature I believe.

How well do you know her? Just in passing or have you two actually spoken to one another?
 

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I think that the best way is just chit chat before- a few sms or facebook messages or sth and It just happend-For example you writing-what are you doing tommorow evening

-and you have date:p!
 

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Try focusing on her, instead of what you look like.

If you focus on her how can you be self conscious?

I know it's easier said than done because I get nervous and shy talking to people in general,but I've noticed that if I don't think about myself so much and I think about the needs of the other person without seeing them as better than me, than it works out.

I hope this helps.
 

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Wow, thanks for all the information guys! Yeah, I agree BuckVincent about putting the girl up on this pedestal, making them out to be god-like. I've just always struggled with it, but hey, I'll give all your ideas a whirl! Pretty much, I'll just need to find a way of calming my nerves, like instead of directly saying, "Hey, wanna go out sometime" I should try to build up to it? Haha, I hate over-thinking the situation! Anyways, thanks again all!
I think that's why the nerves kick in, we spend so much time and thought playing out scenarios in our heads. We make it into a bigger deal than it actually is.

It's odd because ISFPs are usually so good at living in the moment, but when feelings kick in, I guess that all goes out the window.

Have you tried something to relax you and keep you in the moment, rather than worrying about the future? Like meditation, or listening to music, right before you approach her? I don't know where you run into her, but maybe try to find something to take your mind off of it beforehand.
 
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