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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel like a lot of the attributes that go along with INFP personality are hard for other people to grasp. And due to the dreamy nature, I think that people feel like we have a certain childlike, almost "cute" quality.

A lot of my friends know that I'm intelligent, but they tend to shrug off some of the apparently outlandish things I say. They'll want to go about something a totally different way than I do, and even though later on they'll realize they should've just listened to me, they never do. And when with my friends, I'm not terribly submissive. Sometimes I just like to see other people get their way.

Also, when I'm a bit forgetful, I tend to get spoken to like I am a child.

When I confronted a very very ESFJ friend, she said, "I don't know. For some reason I just feel like I have to protect you."

This, obviously, made me quite angry. I subsequently shoved her in a trash can.

But anyway, I just think that it's hard to be taken seriously when you're typically kind, quiet and a bit out of touch with the daily grind. Anyone else agree?
 

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:| Yeah, I get this too. Everyone treats me like I'm so innocent all the time and treat me like I can't take care of myself. My friends all make fun of me because of how slow/distant I can be. They feel the need to insert "AW" into every sentence involving my name.They know I'm smart though. I also bump into things/trip a lot so it gets even more embarrassing at school. Even if they just bumped me a little, people will be all "AWW..I'M SO SORRY..are you okay??"...or if I fall on the stairs, people don't even laugh at me. They treat me like some sorry little kid who's candy got stolen.

I'm also tinier than other people so yeah, bad combo..lol
 

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I'm also tinier than other people so yeah bad combo..lol
Same. -_- I'm not an INFP, but I'm hella withdrawn for an extrovert and 5' 0.5" isn't a good height for people to take you seriously.

Except now I wear heels all the time.

I don't understand it. People constantly call me "cute" or "adorable"... yet they overestimate my age by quite a bit.

And they seem to overestimate my innocence, too. My ex used to think that I wouldn't understand sex jokes. :frustrating: Wtf? Those are the best ones! And then it's a pretty rude awakening when they realize I'm an obnoxious perv. xD
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I'm 5 ft 7, so they should fear me, right? :p

And yes, Insomnia, I'm also clumsy. It doesn't help at all.
 

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I feel like a lot of the attributes that go along with INFP personality are hard for other people to grasp. And due to the dreamy nature, I think that people feel like we have a certain childlike, almost "cute" quality.

...

When I confronted a very very ESFJ friend, she said, "I don't know. For some reason I just feel like I have to protect you."

This, obviously, made me quite angry. I subsequently shoved her in a trash can.

But anyway, I just think that it's hard to be taken seriously when you're typically kind, quiet and a bit out of touch with the daily grind. Anyone else agree?

I have never had a major problem with being taken seriously. Sometimes the ideas I treasure and protect most get challenged, which may make it look like my friends are not taking me seriously. But I only see that as my friends really not understanding how I came to see or feel or think things to be a certain way.

I also have an ESFJ friend who is very protective of me. I have gone through several stages with her in our 15 years of friendship. She is like the older sister I never had.

At first, I loved how protective she was of me and my sensitivity. She defended me from my own low self-esteem when I was a young child. She filled in the silence in many conversations and never complained about my lack of or slow responses. I wasn't always there when she needed me, but she was always there when I needed her.

When my depressive episodes were more frequent in my teenage years, she told me not to do this or that, things I would do that made me feel better right away but were bad for me in the long run, and she would try to get me to think and analyze life less. I would argue that she didn't really understand me, and our conversations and her judgments made me feel worse about myself. Sometimes I reminded myself not to call her because I didn't want to be judge. But I always went back.

Over the years, as she heard more stories, and as I learned to tell her "Shutup, I don't want your opinions, I only want a listener," and as I became more assertive with my views, she has grown more accepting and sympathetic to me -- just the way I am. In conversations, she now tells me what her opinions are, but she constantly reminds me that no matter what decision I make, no matter what mistakes I make, no matter how sad or happy I became, she would always have my back and be there to listen and to comfort me. And indeed, she has kept her word.

And what I give back, is to accept her protectiveness, to express my gratefulness for her friendship spontaneously and often, in words.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I have never had a major problem with being taken seriously. Sometimes the ideas I treasure and protect most get challenged, which may make it look like my friends are not taking me seriously. But I only see that as my friends really not understanding how I came to see or feel or think things to be a certain way.

I also have an ESFJ friend who is very protective of me. I have gone through several stages with her in our 15 years of friendship. She is like the older sister I never had.

At first, I loved how protective she was of me and my sensitivity. She defended me from my own low self-esteem when I was a young child. She filled in the silence in many conversations and never complained about my lack of or slow responses. I wasn't always there when she needed me, but she was always there when I needed her.

When my depressive episodes were more frequent in my teenage years, she told me not to do this or that, things I would do that made me feel better right away but were bad for me in the long run, and she would try to get me to think and analyze life less. I would argue that she didn't really understand me, and our conversations and her judgments made me feel worse about myself. Sometimes I reminded myself not to call her because I didn't want to be judge. But I always went back.

Over the years, as she heard more stories, and as I learned to tell her "Shutup, I don't want your opinions, I only want a listener," and as I became more assertive with my views, she has grown more accepting and sympathetic to me -- just the way I am. In conversations, she now tells me what her opinions are, but she constantly reminds me that no matter what decision I make, no matter what mistakes I make, no matter how sad or happy I became, she would always have my back and be there to listen and to comfort me. And indeed, she has kept her word.

And what I give back, is to accept her protectiveness, to express my gratefulness for her friendship spontaneously and often, in words.


I like that. I think those two types of people make really good friends, but also kind of unbalanced ones.
I find that I tend to make the right decisions, and though I'm extremely in the clouds, my basic views are rational. So her comments, I can't seem to take the way you take your friends. But yes, I agree, sometimes you just have to go with the flow and get over it. The intention isn't to hurt, I know.
 

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When I confronted a very very ESFJ friend, she said, "I don't know. For some reason I just feel like I have to protect you." This, obviously, made me quite angry. I subsequently shoved her in a trash can.
logged in just to comment on this.

HAHA. How you like dem apples?
 

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I get taken seriously too often if anything. Some of my jokes that are intended to be sarcastic or a light light jab may be blown out of proportion.
 

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Yes. I get told I have some sort of 'damsel in distress' vibe and they felt the need to protect me all the time.
I never understand it. I think it's because I have no problem being isolated or walking alone and just thinking
maybe I seem lonely or something even though I'm enjoying myself more than I ever would in some Huge group settting.
My ex-best friend would always treat me like a younger child and she even would say "your like a little sister to me"
Me: "Were the same age..." Her: But you don't act like it.your just SO innocent" Me in my head" FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU I'll punch you right now you dumb bitch!" lol

Plus It doesn't help that I'm 20 and look 17,but I guess I look innocent and younger so yeah people
seem to not take me as serious as they should.
I will admit though to being really child like.
 

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I have never had a major problem with being taken seriously. Sometimes the ideas I treasure and protect most get challenged, which may make it look like my friends are not taking me seriously. But I only see that as my friends really not understanding how I came to see or feel or think things to be a certain way.

I also have an ESFJ friend who is very protective of me. I have gone through several stages with her in our 15 years of friendship. She is like the older sister I never had.

At first, I loved how protective she was of me and my sensitivity. She defended me from my own low self-esteem when I was a young child. She filled in the silence in many conversations and never complained about my lack of or slow responses. I wasn't always there when she needed me, but she was always there when I needed her.

When my depressive episodes were more frequent in my teenage years, she told me not to do this or that, things I would do that made me feel better right away but were bad for me in the long run, and she would try to get me to think and analyze life less. I would argue that she didn't really understand me, and our conversations and her judgments made me feel worse about myself. Sometimes I reminded myself not to call her because I didn't want to be judge. But I always went back.

Over the years, as she heard more stories, and as I learned to tell her "Shutup, I don't want your opinions, I only want a listener," and as I became more assertive with my views, she has grown more accepting and sympathetic to me -- just the way I am. In conversations, she now tells me what her opinions are, but she constantly reminds me that no matter what decision I make, no matter what mistakes I make, no matter how sad or happy I became, she would always have my back and be there to listen and to comfort me. And indeed, she has kept her word.

And what I give back, is to accept her protectiveness, to express my gratefulness for her friendship spontaneously and often, in words.

That's really similar to me. My best friend since 1994 is an ESFJ (and so is my mom, but we don't get along) and my friend would always seem so wise! She saw through everything and told it "like it is". I would ask her advice and she always knew the answer to everything. I really respected her opinion. I still do, but now that we're 30 years old, I can argue with her stubborn opinions and sometimes actually win. She guided me when I needed guidance but nowadays her advice isn't always quite right for me. But I still love her. :happy:

And yeah, I struggle with people not taking me seriously too. I actually made a shirt that said, "CREDIBLE" and would wear it at work because I found that customers especially, seemed to always think I didn't know what I was talking about and would go ask someone else who I worked with to verify what I said. It drives me crazy. I find that if I want to avoid this, I have to act like a bitch and speak with the tone of a prison warden, clearly and forcefully, to convince anyone I know what I'm talking about. It feels weird but it works.
 

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I used to teach and this was one of the reasons why I stopped...there are several. The students never seemed to get the fact that I was an adult and figure of "authority". I'm late 20s, but I would get "are you 19?", "I wish you were my sister", "You're so nice Ms.", "Oh, she the nice teacher", "you're the best teacher ever', meanwhile they were so disrespectful. etc.

It was so frustrating. Across the hall from me was this teacher who once she entered the room the students would freeze and be terrified to talk. Then a period later, that same student would act buckwild in my room. It was very hard for me to affect a commanding presence and not be seen as an easy, nice and lenient person.:frustrating:
 

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I have the same problem sometimes but that's because I have a lot of trouble explaining myself.

Some people think I'm really smart, others think I am plain dumb. Oh well.
 
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Oh goodness. I HATE this. My old roommates spoke to me like they were my parents, and it drove me nuts. And people always assume I'm very innocent and inexperienced, based on the things I'll say. I think I have a bit of a complex about trying to seem more badass actually. But I can't imagine actually going around f-ing shit up for the hell of it. Hell, I feel bad if knock over a salt shaker, knowing that someone will have to clean that up.

Like others said, I think assertiveness is the key to being taken seriously. I've been told I'm too nice, so I'm thinking I need to learn how to be more assertive. If anyone has any recommendations (books, websites), let me know!
 

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I was taking a leadership class which carried one of my least favorite types of books: 5 steps to being a leader. (Hate the idea of a linear process to something); but it did explain a passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive leader, and I think assertive is right.
As much as I wish I had no needs, trying to play selfless does lead to passive-aggressive tendencies. Sort of like the difference between a defence and a boundary.

I am taken too seriously and not seriously depending I believe by my tone.
I like not being taken seriously though because I take myself too seriously.
 

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I feel like a lot of the attributes that go along with INFP personality are hard for other people to grasp. And due to the dreamy nature, I think that people feel like we have a certain childlike, almost "cute" quality.

A lot of my friends know that I'm intelligent, but they tend to shrug off some of the apparently outlandish things I say. They'll want to go about something a totally different way than I do, and even though later on they'll realize they should've just listened to me, they never do. And when with my friends, I'm not terribly submissive. Sometimes I just like to see other people get their way.

Also, when I'm a bit forgetful, I tend to get spoken to like I am a child.

When I confronted a very very ESFJ friend, she said, "I don't know. For some reason I just feel like I have to protect you."

This, obviously, made me quite angry. I subsequently shoved her in a trash can.

But anyway, I just think that it's hard to be taken seriously when you're typically kind, quiet and a bit out of touch with the daily grind. Anyone else agree?
I'm not usually taken seriously because people usually don't know where I am coming from (perspective wise). They obviously do not understand my ideals or either lack some empathy. Or it is that I am piss poor at communicating as well (S/N divisions I think primarily? A lot of people that have sensor preference out there). I am ambiguous and aren't as into tune to "reality" as they are (mostly conventions).

The funny thing is that I am generally not "wrong" either (about the things that people might not take me serious about). But due to some stupid conventions of theirs they might not take me seriously or just because I am not practical or "logical". I say it is peoples own loss if they do not take me seriously because I don't take to take people that don't make me serously seriously either. I personally have no problem to stand up against people that treat me like crap but usually it is not worth the trouble. I think a lot of people that have trouble taking me seriously don't take themselves seriously as well but it really depends on the situations as well.
 

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All my life a lot of people don't take what I say seriously, especially if it really is serious.
I just don't tell people anything, let alone my serious goals or philosophies, anymore. lmfao like hwy waste my breath if you're just going to smirk at me?
 

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I also have an ESFJ friend that constantly feels the need to take care of me and it feels a little patronising. Yeah I am forgetful occasionally but I don't need to be spoken to like a child!

I'm also pretty smart but I feel like my intelligence is often overlooked and my abilities underestimated. In group work, people often dismiss me or interrupt me or don't take the time to consider my ideas properly which really pisses me off!

Haha just realised this isn't very persuasive as I have a Disney princess as my avatar!
 

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I, too, have an ESFJ in my life. My little sister is very practical and organized and usually has sound advice to share, which I value and appreciate even though it doesn't always work for me. I've found that since she is younger than me, I've been the trail blazer when it came to being an adult and making my way in the world. This has helped immensely with her respect for me, I think. She's seen that I've made sound choices and been successful, even if they haven't always come from a place of logic.
Recently, she and my other sister told me that they felt I needed to be protected from my own idealism. They see the world as a harsher place than I do. I choose not to see it that way. So if that means the people I love most feel the need to protect me, I can deal with that. I'd rather see people as innately good and the world as a place of endless possibilities.
I think the key is just learning to accept that people aren't going to jump on board with your worldview. They're going to see you as naive and out of touch. It all depends on how you respond to it. You could be angry that they treat you like a child, or you can go out and forge your own path with confidence and artistic flair, and the people who really love you will learn to respect it.
 
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