Trouble deciding whether I am an ENFJ or an INFJ- help?

Well, since first and second functions are almost equally strong and you use them pretty much simultaneously try with the tertiary and inferior functions.
Which is in INFJ's case: Ti, Se.

Are you drawn to the impersonal? Do you like to categorize, do you like to find faults, could you see yourself as some scientist/programmer/other T type? Because that's very rare in ENFJ's who are always very personal and find these things cold, impersonal.
INFJ's on the other hand like these detached, cold things and can mistake themselves for a T.

I was raised by two physicists. My whole life was geared towards science and maths etc. Eventually I couldn't do it it bored me and my love for English Literature- and all the different ways to academically evaluate novels and texts became my passion. I study it now instead of my first degree which was pharmacy (urgh) lol.

Everything has further meaning to me, which is why I prefer humanities.. at most in terms of science I'd study psychology. Actually studying/ reading psychology aids me in my analysis of fictional characters/novels.

A few fictional INFJs I really identify with- Vanessa Ives (Penny Dreadful), Amélie (Amélie). However a fictional ENFJ that also feels like a mirror image- Carrie Mathison (Homeland). Passionate, assertive, driven (dependent on subject, I am not driven to study everything).

Sensitive- cry easily at movies, music, art.

But I can detach in real life situations, I'll still feel empathy etc but I can choose where i dish it out. Or whether I act on it or not (help someone or not).

Can be selfish. Score quite high on narcissism quizes (erm but maybe the result is biased because I'm answering about myself lol).

I feel like I can use my empathy as a tool for destroying someone else. I don't do that but if I'm really pissed off I can really get into someone's head and bring up the things they feel the worst about. Hm maybe everyone can do that tbh. I'm sure I'm nothing special!

Ok I decided to ramble to help you/ the reader decide what I am.

Thanks.

It's difficult to say, but my first instinct would be INFJ. Firstly because of the detachment, it sounds like an Ni-Ti loop. An INFJ I know can almost come across as quite removed from people, although her empathy is constantly 'switched on' at full power, because she is so wrapped up in her tertiary Ti that she isn't using Fe to its full capacity. The main thing is you seem to talk about your intuition - the need to analyse everything - more than your extraverted feeling in this post at least, suggesting it is your dominant function. You haven't really mentioned the need for harmony and for relationships with other people, which would all be key factors of dominant Fe. I'd be interested to know whether you find you need alone time to 'recharge' and whether you find the most inspiration and energy from being in your own world or from interacting with the outside world? Basically, do you find socialising enjoyable but sometimes overwhelming, or an energising experience? Those divisions are something I'd encourage you to consider in making your decision. Good luck!

Siara14 said:

It's difficult to say, but my first instinct would be INFJ. Firstly because of the detachment, it sounds like an Ni-Ti loop. An INFJ I know can almost come across as quite removed from people, although her empathy is constantly 'switched on' at full power, because she is so wrapped up in her tertiary Ti that she isn't using Fe to its full capacity. The main thing is you seem to talk about your intuition - the need to analyse everything - more than your extraverted feeling in this post at least, suggesting it is your dominant function. You haven't really mentioned the need for harmony and for relationships with other people, which would all be key factors of dominant Fe. I'd be interested to know whether you find you need alone time to 'recharge' and whether you find the most inspiration and energy from being in your own world or from interacting with the outside world? Basically, do you find socialising enjoyable but sometimes overwhelming, or an energising experience? Those divisions are something I'd encourage you to consider in making your decision. Good luck!

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nice post, I agree

also try to figure out if you struggle more with logical situations or physical/sensory situations..

I know I struggle with my Se a lot more than my Ti.. I don't mind Ti too much, it drains me more than Fe but not too much. Se on the other hand is extremely draining for me, I tend to be very sedentary, I have to make myself be active. Also i'm always missing things in my environment that my ISFP girlfriend has to point out for me. ENFJs dont have as much of a problem with that at all, they tend to be a lot more active than us INFJs.

Another way to figure it out is which one do you wish you had more of? Do you wish you were more active in your environment or do you wish you had a better grasp on logic and utilized it more often?

I know you said you'd rather not do anymore online tests, but this one is brilliant, it's extensive and covers everything + even throws in some Big 5 results and shows how they overlap with the MBTI results:
Personality Assessor | Jungian Personality Type Test


If you can, do that one and let us know how it goes.

From what you've said, and the Enneagram type 8 thing, I'd be leaning towards ENFJ, they're more confrontational and I mean you're talking about manipulating others by playing off their feelings/emotions within only 5 posts on this site!

I'm an INFJ and that's never crossed my mind in my entire life, but everyone is different, I get that!

IMO, everyone can detach at some point.

Nora_Lecter said:

I was raised by two physicists. My whole life was geared towards science and maths etc. Eventually I couldn't do it it bored me and my love for English Literature- and all the different ways to academically evaluate novels and texts became my passion. I study it now instead of my first degree which was pharmacy (urgh) lol.

Everything has further meaning to me, which is why I prefer humanities.. at most in terms of science I'd study psychology. Actually studying/ reading psychology aids me in my analysis of fictional characters/novels.

A few fictional INFJs I really identify with- Vanessa Ives (Penny Dreadful), Amélie (Amélie). However a fictional ENFJ that also feels like a mirror image- Carrie Mathison (Homeland). Passionate, assertive, driven (dependent on subject, I am not driven to study everything).

Sensitive- cry easily at movies, music, art.

But I can detach in real life situations, I'll still feel empathy etc but I can choose where i dish it out. Or whether I act on it or not (help someone or not).

Can be selfish. Score quite high on narcissism quizes (erm but maybe the result is biased because I'm answering about myself lol).

I feel like I can use my empathy as a tool for destroying someone else. I don't do that but if I'm really pissed off I can really get into someone's head and bring up the things they feel the worst about. Hm maybe everyone can do that tbh. I'm sure I'm nothing special!

Ok I decided to ramble to help you/ the reader decide what I am.

Thanks.

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"Further meaning" in what sense, exactly?

You seem Fi to me. When you talk about detachment, you seem to be focused on detachment in an emotional sense. Do you feel disengaged from your own emotions? Or, empathetic moments aside, disengaged from external emotions?

How do you analyze fictional characters? Like they're machines? Do you break them apart to analyze them until they make sense according to your own system of logic? Or do you want to know what drives them or motivates them? Do you want to put yourself in their shoes and figure out who they are in terms of their personalities? The second is true of both Fe/Ti users and Fi/Te users, but I'd say is more likely to come from Fi.

Also your use of the word "empathy" indicates Fi. Fe will see someone cry, and sympathize with said person, and maybe cry even if they don't understand what somebody else is going through. Fi will remain detached, until it places itself in somebody else's shoes and truly empathizes and feels what they feel. Fe will cry for somebody else because that person is sad, while Fi will cry for somebody else because they understand exactly what it feels like to place your trust in somebody and then be betrayed by them (hypothetical example). Fe takes things at face value in terms of emotion. All extroverted functions do this within their realm.

Consider XXFP, especially SFP. Plenty of ISFPs mistype as INFJ.

Yeah I don't really like the idea of being someone who needs to create harmony. I don't think that's highly of myself. I don't like conflict. Rather avoid it.

Sorry for the late reply I don't know how to switch notifications or emails on for this.

I do like people watching for inspiration. I need to be alone sometimes but I think I get more lazy etc the more time I spend alone. Like I need to be out and about to feel energetic.

Flower Hat said:

"Further meaning" in what sense, exactly?

You seem Fi to me. When you talk about detachment, you seem to be focused on detachment in an emotional sense. Do you feel disengaged from your own emotions? Or, empathetic moments aside, disengaged from external emotions?

How do you analyze fictional characters? Like they're machines? Do you break them apart to analyze them until they make sense according to your own system of logic? Or do you want to know what drives them or motivates them? Do you want to put yourself in their shoes and figure out who they are in terms of their personalities? The second is true of both Fe/Ti users and Fi/Te users, but I'd say is more likely to come from Fi.

Also your use of the word "empathy" indicates Fi. Fe will see someone cry, and sympathize with said person, and maybe cry even if they don't understand what somebody else is going through. Fi will remain detached, until it places itself in somebody else's shoes and truly empathizes and feels what they feel. Fe will cry for somebody else because that person is sad, while Fi will cry for somebody else because they understand exactly what it feels like to place your trust in somebody and then be betrayed by them (hypothetical example). Fe takes things at face value in terms of emotion. All extroverted functions do this within their realm.

Consider XXFP, especially SFP. Plenty of ISFPs mistype as INFJ.

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Well I want to do both break them down and understand but also put myself in their shoes and feel.

Erm I can def cry when someone else is crying, even if I don't understand what they feel exactly. But I still want to know more to feel an even deeper connection.

spaceynyc said:

nice post, I agree

also try to figure out if you struggle more with logical situations or physical/sensory situations..

I know I struggle with my Se a lot more than my Ti.. I don't mind Ti too much, it drains me more than Fe but not too much. Se on the other hand is extremely draining for me, I tend to be very sedentary, I have to make myself be active. Also i'm always missing things in my environment that my ISFP girlfriend has to point out for me. ENFJs dont have as much of a problem with that at all, they tend to be a lot more active than us INFJs.

Another way to figure it out is which one do you wish you had more of? Do you wish you were more active in your environment or do you wish you had a better grasp on logic and utilized it more often?

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I wish I was more active in my environment.

Noralecter said:

Well I want to do both break them down and understand but also put myself in their shoes and feel.

Erm I can def cry when someone else is crying, even if I don't understand what they feel exactly. But I still want to know more to feel an even deeper connection.

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Yeah. You sound more Fe/Ti. The wording threw me.