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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi all,
I am new, already read the forum for a while and find it pretty interesting.

I like to have some opinions about my trouble with presenting myself / Telling who I am. Also if you think it is related with INTP or with being an introvert?

When I first met someone (on a date/friends/colleagues especially in a group) I find it difficult to tell them who I am and what makes me my unique self.

Please don't get me wrong I know what I like and what I stand for. But if you ask me who I am, I am just myself. I like to understand things (people behavior, religion, politics), like my friends, like games (poker), like sports (golf/mountainbike), but no real passion (maybe to down to earth).
It could also be for the fear of being judged, but to be honest I don't think this is the real reason. What could help (or in this case not help) is that I am over analyzing a lot and therefore always try to figure out who the other persons are and how we fit together.
When I don't know the other person yet, maybe this keeps me from telling me who I am (based on how we fit together (our unknown similarities yet)). Sounds like to much of a chameleon.

Also when I don't know the other one yet, I cant imagine what we have in common, so why we communicate in the first place? I understand you need to communicate first to know later on, but you get my point.

As an INTP (or was it type 6) I once read you don't feel who you are, but along the way you find out who you are (on a rational way) and who you don't are. I have already found that out for a big part, but maybe because I don't feel it, this doesn't help.

Does this sounds similar to someone or do you know were this could be coming from, I like to get to the bottom of this.
 

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Speaking for myself, I dont think I reason much with my current emotional state when thinking about or being exposed to a given context or concept.
When reasoning about something, or assimilating a new concept, I rarely tack on my own mood or emotional appraisal into how I store that information (even if it does influence the process)

When it comes down to answering questions like "Name your top 5 favourite/worst bands/foods etc", I have no internal representation that allows me to go from emotional appraisal -> concept -> aggregated list.
The opposite direction is easy and natural to follow, going from concept to emotional appraisal is a very natural and human thing to do.

When asked to define myself, I start thinking about my personality (already a list of characteristics I dont necessarily have readily available in my mind) which ends up being a process of trying to find habits and thoughts that support a given trait. It's a very slow and tedious process that feels like I'm swimming upstream. I'd much rather be perceiving, processing, interpreting, ruminating and then appraising last.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm far more likely to store information that seems inherent to the structure of what is real or could be real, and far less likely to store information pertaining to the experience of those realities.
 

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I do not like to disclose personal information (Yes! Even your hobbies or favorite movies are personal information). I rather lie, only problem being, I suck at lying so my mind just fucks up and I stare quietly into the void. People must think I am mentally ill.
 

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I do not like to disclose personal information (Yes! Even your hobbies or favorite movies are personal information). I rather lie, only problem being, I suck at lying so my mind just fucks up and I stare quietly into the void. People must think I am mentally ill.
It is funny how the most basic of questions can cause us to shut down entirely, while grand questions about life and existence kick us into gear.
 

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This sounds all too familiar. It's funny because when someone asks me about myself, I'm more interested in figuring out why they could possibly ask me that question. I sit there, trying to decipher their motives while they're wondering what's wrong with me. I've actually learned to keep a few quick and easy answers available (Well I'd be a crazy cat lady if it weren't for these allergies! Hahaha!).

The problem for me is that as much as I want to tell people who I am and what I think, I don't know where to start. I'd rather be asked a very concrete question like where I grew up, as opposed to something as nebulous as what kind of person I am.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
This sounds all too familiar. It's funny because when someone asks me about myself, I'm more interested in figuring out why they could possibly ask me that question. I sit there, trying to decipher their motives while they're wondering what's wrong with me. I've actually learned to keep a few quick and easy answers available (Well I'd be a crazy cat lady if it weren't for these allergies! Hahaha!).

The problem for me is that as much as I want to tell people who I am and what I think, I don't know where to start. I'd rather be asked a very concrete question like where I grew up, as opposed to something as nebulous as what kind of person I am.
Really familiar indeed. I will try to use some quick and easy answers more and maybe check some articles, how to combine them to a good story to tell.
 

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Well, it's none of their business.

When ever I'm asked to "present" myself I give name, age and general home location. Because experience taught me that's the required minimum.
 

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I don't see the need in it.

It seems like any summary of who I am ends up as a misrepresentation. It either sounds incredibly weird or doesn't convey the full picture. I don't even know everything about myself anyway.

Let them form their own impressions; they might even be more accurate than my own in some aspects.
 

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I could definitely relate to this when I was younger. On dates, when you get past just telling your best jokes and asking them questions, they'd say, "tell me about yourself?" What? I mean it was different than an interview, because you knew what the employers wanted to hear, so you just went with that. On dates, personal stuff, that's not just I'm Joe from Milwalkee(just an example by the way). I mean you don't want to list off your interests like a robot.

But here's the thing, and this is where being an INTP comes in great when you get older and some confidence. You have a lot to say and you aren't going to just be shallow. You've analyzed your life and know why you are who you are. (Note: does not help in most interviews, but good in dating unless it is a shallow person). Once you get past the nervousness and open up that bag, you are ready to go, just make sure you throw in stories about big events, turning points and you have no trouble talking. I actually enjoyed this part of dating(getting to know different people) in my thirties up until I met the right one and that was that.

So, don't be nervous, just talk about your life so far, what you look forward to, and what will be will be.
 
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