[letsride]

So I'm curious, are ISFJs open to trying new hobbies?

Would it depend on the type of hobby and your interests? Or maybe who you are learning the new hobby with?

Please enlighten me:happy:

 

[Gildar]

I'm not against new hobbies..i just do not seek them very often by myself and only if they branch off from hobby or interest i like already.

for example, have enjoyed DnD have for years but just 2 weeks ago i got bored one night and joined a forum roleplay. I have done it daily since although it has slowed down. it branched of something i already enjoyed and i understood the basics of it. Unfortunately no matter what type of role-play i just can't design my characters not help others. their reasons may be different but my guys always just want to help someone. some of them selflessly. for atonement,or a payment but they always help others.

Other then that sometime friends and family will really try to push my boundaries and i might like it or i might be bored out of mind but say at least "it's ok"......... i think one of the biggest success is a rugby coach that i trusted asked me to throw a rugby ball and question if i had ever thrown one before. I told i didn't but so he compliment my natural ability. That was all it took for me to try Rugby. I became the only player with a nickname "The Tank"..i never really felt part of the rugby guys but i felt part of the team on the field.

The next year there was a new coach and i quit because i didn't really know him and didn't feel secure around him. The other players kept asking me to join the entire year but i just couldn't bring myself. None of the players ever said come back because your a great player but the would be like "why didn't you join hurry up and join" or "we lack the players for the tournament could you fill in". it felt like they just wanted to fill the roster so i didn't go back.

So i believe for me it goes my willingness for a new interest, previous interest,praise, security, and then people as my deciding factor in that order

 

[teddy564339]

Since this is coming from an ISFP, a type that has a lot in common with ISFJ's other than the glaring SP vs. SJ temperament difference, I'm gonna look at this from that angle.


Recently, I talked with some ESTJ's about SJ's and how open to change they are. And we came up with this general conclusion: (not true across the board for SJ's, of course, but it felt pretty accurate)

"SJ's are willing to change, but only if they can be convinced beforehand that the change will be positive."

I have a tendency to get stuck in my ways and not try new things, including new hobbies. This isn't always a good thing, since sometimes when I try something new, it's awesome, and I'll be so happy I found it. However, I also get really irritated when I try something new and I don't like it...I feel like I've wasted my time.

So basically, if someone can convince me that the new hobby is something that I'll like, I'll be more likely to give it a try. Or maybe if I see someone else doing it, and it looks fun/interesting, I'll be more likely to try it with them and ask them about it...and if I get positive vibes, I'll be more likely to take it up myself.

So I just get the general impression that ISFP's are more open to trying new hobbies and things like that just for the sake of exploring and trying them, and ISFJ's are more cautious and time-conservative about it. But the cool thing is that I think ISFJ's and ISFP's have a lot in common and are more apt to enjoy doing low-key, individual, hands-on hobbies.


So basically, I need more ISFP's in my life! I need you guys to show me new things that I'll like! But you guys are so hard to find and form friendships with. I only know one definite ISFP, and he's an online friend...but he's awesome! I need more ISFP's!

 

[letsride]

The next year there was a new coach and i quit because i didn't really know him and didn't feel secure around him. The other players kept asking me to join the entire year but i just couldn't bring myself. None of the players ever said come back because your a great player but the would be like "why didn't you join hurry up and join" or "we lack the players for the tournament could you fill in". it felt like they just wanted to fill the roster so i didn't go back.

So i believe for me it goes my willingness for a new interest, previous interest,praise, security, and then people as my deciding factor in that order

Yes, I can relate to this, I quit soccer after several years of playing because the new coach was so competitive. It just wasn't fun for me anymore.

That's intereting, the part about starting a new hobby because it branches off from another hobby. This is something I hadn't thought about before. I'll keep this in mind.

If you don't mind me asking, when you say security is a deciding factor, do you mean emotional security, physical security, or a combination of both?

Thanks for the reply:happy:

 

[letsride]

Since this is coming from an ISFP, a type that has a lot in common with ISFJ's other than the glaring SP vs. SJ temperament difference, I'm gonna look at this from that angle.


Recently, I talked with some ESTJ's about SJ's and how open to change they are. And we came up with this general conclusion: (not true across the board for SJ's, of course, but it felt pretty accurate)

"SJ's are willing to change, but only if they can be convinced beforehand that the change will be positive."

I have a tendency to get stuck in my ways and not try new things, including new hobbies. This isn't always a good thing, since sometimes when I try something new, it's awesome, and I'll be so happy I found it. However, I also get really irritated when I try something new and I don't like it...I feel like I've wasted my time.

So basically, if someone can convince me that the new hobby is something that I'll like, I'll be more likely to give it a try. Or maybe if I see someone else doing it, and it looks fun/interesting, I'll be more likely to try it with them and ask them about it...and if I get positive vibes, I'll be more likely to take it up myself.

So I just get the general impression that ISFP's are more open to trying new hobbies and things like that just for the sake of exploring and trying them, and ISFJ's are more cautious and time-conservative about it. But the cool thing is that I think ISFJ's and ISFP's have a lot in common and are more apt to enjoy doing low-key, individual, hands-on hobbies.


So basically, I need more ISFP's in my life! I need you guys to show me new things that I'll like! But you guys are so hard to find and form friendships with. I only know one definite ISFP, and he's an online friend...but he's awesome! I need more ISFP's!

Thanks for the reply, Teddy, you make a lot of good points here:happy:

I like the part where you said if you try a new hobby and don't like it, you feel like you wasted your time. Maybe that's a key difference between the SJ and SP. I don't really make a judgement call on anything. Whenever I try something new, it's exciting and I just like the experience. Even if I don't ever do it again, I'm still glad I did it.

The reason I ask is because I have an ISFJ friend who I really enjoy being around, but she never wants to do anything more than get together for lunch. I tried calling several times to invite her on a hike or on a bike ride, but she always declined. So I finally just gave up calling her.

I like how you point out that you need to be convinced you will like the new hobby in order to try it, but I'm just not sure how to do this. You say also that seeing someone else having fun doing the activity can help convince you, but how do I convince you to come out with me in the first place so you can watch?

There's another ISFJ that I know from the gym and would love to buddy up with for other activities, I'm just trying to figure out how to go about it. I don't want to scare them away:laughing:

 

[teddy564339]

Thanks for the reply, Teddy, you make a lot of good points here:happy:

I like the part where you said if you try a new hobby and don't like it, you feel like you wasted your time. Maybe that's a key difference between the SJ and SP. I don't really make a judgement call on anything. Whenever I try something new, it's exciting and I just like the experience. Even if I don't ever do it again, I'm still glad I did it.

Yeah, I think that's exactly it. Of course, some SJ's may be more flexible and some P's more rigid, depending on how strong the J or P is, but in general I think this nails it.

Believe me, I've had SP's tell me a good bit in the past that I'm boring and don't try anything new. But that's why I think ISFJ's and ISFP's seem to be the perfect types to be buddies. Other SP's I think are too harsh and overbearing for me, but ISFP's strike me as so friendly and calm and fun and just....easy to relax around. I think ISFP's are the best type to try to get ISFJ's to try new things, because they know how to be calm and warm and sensitive. So, that makes the ISFJ relax and have fun more, and my guess is the ISFJ can help the ISFP work on improving commitments and work related things.

I really think the two types would be really awesome friends, if only it wasn't so hard for them to meet each other!

The reason I ask is because I have an ISFJ friend who I really enjoy being around, but she never wants to do anything more than get together for lunch. I tried calling several times to invite her on a hike or on a bike ride, but she always declined. So I finally just gave up calling her.

I like how you point out that you need to be convinced you will like the new hobby in order to try it, but I'm just not sure how to do this. You say also that seeing someone else having fun doing the activity can help convince you, but how do I convince you to come out with me in the first place so you can watch?

There's another ISFJ that I know from the gym and would love to buddy up with for other activities, I'm just trying to figure out how to go about it. I don't want to scare them away:laughing:

Like always, I can only speak for me, not all ISFJ's, but also like always, I would imagine my general vibes would apply to your friends.

The first thing that I think is really important is really forming a strong, deep friendship. For me, I have to really trust in someone and feel really comfortable with them before I'm more open to trying new things with them. Otherwise, I get anxious, and feel like I need to impress someone, or I'll feel really bad if I try something new and don't like it...I'll feel like I let the person down or am not good enough for them.

But, if I'm really good friends with them, I know they're accept me no matter what. I know that I don't I can try something new, and if I don't like it, it's ok...I can be honest. Also, I'm more likely to enjoy the new experience, because even if I don't like the activity, I enjoy their company.


So it's really big to let your friends know that you care about them and accept them. Like I said, ISFP's are probably the best SP type for this. I know that SP's might have a harder time building a deep friendship, and it does take patience...but it can work. And again, the friendship doesn't have to be like, "best friends" deep...it just needs to be strong enough that your friend feels really comfortable around you and knows that you're there for them no matter what.


And that leads to other things. One big thing is finding out what your friends already like to do...they may even like to do something that you didn't know they did. So asking definitely helps. It's even possible that they like to do things but haven't told you out of fear that you'll find it boring or stupid...I know I keep things like that hidden from people. But if you're really nice and accepting about it, it really helps a lot...and it might also be really helpful if you agreed to do one of those things with them. That will make them feel like you accept their interests and don't find them boring or stupid.


From there, it would be really good to find something very similar to what they already like doing but is still new to them. That way they'll feel more comfortable stepping out of their comfort zone. Baby steps, basically.

Then, luckily you'll find something new that they like. When this happens, it will give them confidence that new things don't have to be bad. But don't emphasize this or make a big deal out of this. I hate that so much...when I try something new and like it, when someone goes "SEE?! If you get out of your shell and do new things, you'll like them! You need to do that more!" Because what that does is make me feel like they don't accept me for who I am, and are trying to change me. Then, out of spite, I'll forcibly try to find something new that I hate, just to prove them wrong.

It's because I get hurt and don't feel good being rushed into things. You can encourage ISFJ's by talking about how the new experience was fun, and if they start saying that, it's really good to listen and support their thoughts. But don't push it on them....the ISFJ has to come up with that conclusion themself. If you try to push it, it only does more damage.


So yeah....it can be a detailed process, and it does take patience...and probably the more stubborn the ISFJ is, the more time and patience it'll take. But I can say that I can be very stubborn and resistant to new experiences, and even I have found ways to find the good in new things...and everything I've said explains what works best for me. So it certainly is possible, you just have to be patient, kind, and supportive...and hopefully ISFP's are naturally good that those, except for the patience part.

 

[letsride]

Thanks Teddy, you've given me a ton of good advice on how to get started! I'll try getting to know this ISFJ better and maybe learn about some hidden hobbies they have already, then go gradually from there.

You're right, the patience is going to be the hard part for me, but I've got nothing to lose, so I'll give it a try.:happy:

 

[Gildar]

Yes, I can relate to this, I quit soccer after several years of playing because the new coach was so competitive. It just wasn't fun for me anymore.

That's intereting, the part about starting a new hobby because it branches off from another hobby. This is something I hadn't thought about before. I'll keep this in mind.

If you don't mind me asking, when you say security is a deciding factor, do you mean emotional security, physical security, or a combination of both?

Thanks for the reply:happy:

it was emotional security. I couldn't trust him and so i was scared. i had no clue what he was like or what his coaching style was....so honestly it felt like i was asked to start Rugby all over again without that reassurance i had the first time. I had no one to tell this stuff to me so i just quit. if someone had told me what he was like and how he coached i would have joined most likely. i couldn't bring myself to ask someone.

I will say the only other hobby i made by branching off was the tabletop game Warhammer. I think this may be because i don't have much of a need for many hobbies so i pursue them very very rarely. most of my hobbies are form friends and family making try things. I branched into war hammer because i'm fond of Fantasy, i love strategic games, don't mind painting too much(this is the worst part to me i'm just neutral on it), and my brother had bought the starter set but never touched it for a year so pulled it out and started reading the rules. I put together the starter set models and played a game and we both enjoyed it. So we started our collections (sigh thy are explosive so it took us a while..guess it allowed us to paint them) I tried 40k but just didn't like it as much. i like it but i just prefer fantasy since its regiments and is more close combat oriented

when I try something new and like it, when someone goes "SEE?! If you get out of your shell and do new things, you'll like them! You need to do that more!" Because what that does is make me feel like they don't accept me for who I am, and are trying to change me. Then, out of spite, I'll forcibly try to find something new that I hate, just to prove them wrong.

Yes i hate this too.I don't do anything to prove them wrong or get back but i really do hate we I'm told I'm at fault for not trying new things. I never told them i wasn't happy with my current set because i was happy with what i already had

 

[letsride]

it was emotional security. I couldn't trust him and so i was scared. i had no clue what he was like or what his coaching style was....so honestly it felt like i was asked to start Rugby all over again without that reassurance i had the first time. I had no one to tell this stuff to me so i just quit. if someone had told me what he was like and how he coached i would have joined most likely. i couldn't bring myself to ask someone.

Thanks for the clarification, Gildar. So it sounds like it is very important that the ISFJ knows the details of who they will be interacting with. I think I'll work on getting to know this ISFJ better so we can build some trust. It makes perfect sense... if they're not completely comfortable around me, they're not going to have any fun with me. And what would be the point of that?:wink:

So I'll practice some patience, and work on becoming better friends with this ISFJ, before I throw any ideas out there.

 

[PurdyFlower]

"SJ's are willing to change, but only if they can be convinced beforehand that the change will be positive."

I would agree with that! That's definitely how I am and sometimes I wish that wasn't the case.

 

[HappiLie]

My mom is an ISFJ so I'll toss in a couple cents about her! ( ๑￫‿ฺ￩๑ )

She enjoys new hobbies, but she doesn't crave them. She likes traditional art and freely drawing/painting little things here and there passes her time. We both like art, so we've talked about it, but our outlooks are pretty different.
When she draws, she's a perfectionist and usually draws off real references. I crave novelty and wild creativity and i get stuck in my head alot.
She doesn't need a whole lot to be happy, she gets uncomfortable going out too much. I need to be out & about. My indecisive wacky extrovertedness drives her seriously nuts sometimes.
So if my mom does get hobbies, they're close to home and not too lavish.

Gambling is an exception. I think that's just a Japanese mom thing.

 

[sts06]

I like new hobbies, but if they involve other people I tend to need someone else doing it with me before I'll try. It's more fun if you have someone to talk to, and I'm really not good at marching up to strangers and starting a conversation so taking someone with me gets me past that problem.

Actually, even if they are solitary hobbies I prefer it if there's someone to share it with me. I like to talk while I relax so having someone else there is always fun. Even writing, which is a totally solitary thing really, I like to do timed sessions with someone else. That way we can share the highs of getting something awesome down and also the lows of it not being what we wanted it to be.

I guess I just like hobbies I can share with people close to me so I like having others near me to talk to while I do them.