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About a month ago I began chatting with a guy online, and we ended up chatting for about 2 weeks. The reason it went on for so long was because it was difficult to try to get him to arrange a time to come and see me. But I really enjoyed chatting with him, he was so funny and sweet and would sometimes make me cry with laughter. We both seemed very interested in the same kind of thing from a relationship, where we both wanted to experience something serious since we were both tired of the promiscuity that is rife in the gay community. And he seemed really into me, where he would initiate the conversation every single day.

Then we finally agreed a day. He even told me what train he was going to get. But then on the day we were supposed to meet he just stopped replying altogether. After a few days of hearing nothing from him I decided to delete him on all social media.

A month later I saw him on tinder and I swiped left just out of intrigue. We matched. He then wrote to me on tinder and said he was sorry and said that he liked me so much that he got really nervous and just stopped responding. Then he did the same thing where he was writing to me a lot and I got reminded of how much I enjoyed speaking with him, so I eventually agreed to meet him.

This time we did actually meet. I went to his neighbourhood and we went to a cafe together. Afterwards we went swimming in a lake (we had agreed upon this beforehand so we both brought swimming trunks). We subsequently sat behind a rock in our swimming trunks and chatted and made out. I really enjoyed the day. I was possibly slightly more reserved than I might otherwise have been because I was apprehensive about letting myself be too swept away by him in case he might just ignore me again. But now after we met, he's gone completely cold again. He hasn't stopped replying to me altogether but it takes him about a day to reply to my messages, whereas before he would often reply almost instantly.

I don't know what to do or think about him. I really liked him - thought he was gorgeous, kind, funny. But he just seems to be making things very difficult.

(Another note: He took a photo of me when I came out the bathroom which I also thought was a bit peculiar.)
 

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I see a few possibilities
1. He is insecure about something.
2. He hasn't sorted out his feelings for you/ isn't sure about 'what' he feels and if its worth pursuing.
3. Did you enquire about his previous relationships? How did they go? Are they negatively affecting his interactions now?
4. He is probably just busy. (I've noticed this more with IXTPs than IXFPs)
 

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This story reminds me of something someone once told me about love. Love is like going fishing, you have to reel them in slowly. So they don't freak out when they notice they are getting in too deep.
 

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Well, this sounds like me when I was younger. Try reading up on ISFPs going hot and cold, if he is indeed one. This was something I did (several times, mind you, to different people) from high school to college. Why, you ask? Because I didn't know myself back then. I was nice, accommodating and funny to these friends of mine and they even ended up becoming besties with me sometimes. I couldn't say no to some things. I mirrored them sometimes so I could relate to them more. I was nice to them because I liked them. But in retrospect, I pulled away because I needed to find myself again and also because I felt "restricted" by societal norms (if you're my friend, I'll need to go everywhere with you, eat with you, chat with you etc even though there may be times when I want to just be alone but can't because you can't straight up tell someone you've been eating lunch daily with that today, you just want to be by yourself). It takes effort to socialise with people (especially to be engaging and charming) and while I can be all that, it does wear me out. I know better now how to be myself without being a chameleon, how to regulate myself and get some "me" time but back then, I didn't know why I liked someone yet pulled away sometimes, hurting said person and making me feel shitty. Those are among the reasons.

To share my personal thoughts about your current situation, I am not one who enjoys texting. ISFPs are renowned, generally, I think, for not enjoying texting. I do a lot of it when I first start to date but later, it just drains me to text so often because I just don't enjoy it. I like to do my own thing. My two cents is that your ISFP likes you but may not yet be mature enough to understand himself. Perhaps have a talk with him and share that you don't have expectations of this relationship and just want to see where it may go and if it can lead to something serious. He may be apprehensive about commitment because we LOVE our freedom so, so much. Freedom in texting (like I mentioned above). Freedom in indulging whatever crazy idea I have for a project. Freedom to just go food hopping for no good reason. Freedom, to me, is everything and it's important to me to be with someone who realises that and can be on his own too sometimes to also do his ownt hing. Hope this helps. :)
 

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I'm sorry i dont know why i am focused on this part but he took a sneaky snap of you coming out from the bathroom without your knowledge? As in is he aware you noticed it?
 

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I dated in ISFP in the past and usually he was very reserved on any feelings he had towards me. I felt I had to draw it out from him, but nonetheless with time i knew he felt very deeply for me. I know another ISFP that when dating feels very strongly and deep for his SO but no one will ever know. Both seem to have insecurities and tend to overthink and withdraw. Usually I see by giving the person time it will usually manifest but they are so withdrawn about their feelings, but feel oh soo deeply. From the ISFP's i met they weren't really players and are pretty loyal. As others said it's either his withdrawn personality or he is insecure. Best of luck!
 

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We are the kings and queens of hot and cold when we're unsure about someone, but when we're sure, we're ALL in. Best give him space. If he decides he's interested, he'll come to you.
 
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