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Hello folks, this seems like a really helpful and considerate community, so please help me with typing a very important person in my life. I am a cookie cutter INTP. At some points in my life I actually expressed Te through strong hands-on application of my T. Think producing, leading, creating real world systems. However, for past decade, strong influence of Ne indecisiveness and inferior Fe deficiencies (not giving a damn) led to losing much of my social status and relapsing into very typical INTP. Greatest gift of our relationship, which is on-off for past 5 years actually led me to finally pay heed to my Fe (I'm 40). Unfortunately, it is currently giving me problems as I experience incredible need to belong and failing time and again. Anyway, back to her.

For some time I thought ESFP gone bad, but then I realized I am going by type descriptions instead by functions. Also, she is very ambivalent - talks one thing, does another, so I was typing more by ideal then by reality.

I/E - she seems very extrovert, freely engaging people and is incredibly socially likable with hundreds of acquaintances. So I thought E, but at the same time she is extremely secretive, sharing only superficial details about her. She seems more like she likes to play the social circle instead of engaging it fully. She sharply divides her social circles and does not let people interconnect. She even kept me secret for months, despite technically living with me. So I'd say she's a well masked introvert, engaging many but having only a very few close people, currently living in almost hermit mode.

F is definitely near top of her function stack. She is all about judging by own ideals and openly abhors anything T related. Funny thing, alcohol makes her drop all inhibitions and she becomes extremely physically flirty. This drove me insane and was the basis of numerous clashes. Although she paints herself as people's person, I saw her extremely cold and uncaring. This functions very much like my Ti, including alcohol effects, so I'd say she has Fi.

That would give her Te as one of lower two functions and it makes some sense. Although she is quite adept at hands-on things, she prefers to dump thinking onto others. e.g. "Find me a bike to purchase","Figure out for me what to order in the next shipment based on past sales" etc. She has great fear of appearing "stupid", but at the same time refuses to develop her intellect, labeling it as inferior to feelings. Oh the agony of teaching her anything, she would switch into child mode sabotaging any attempt. She also appears to have no hobbies whatsoever.

Si - I thought that being materialistic would imply Se, but she definitely lives in the past, especially when it comes to negatives. She got tremendously hurt in the past (or at least holds being so). Holds grudges for ages and keeps bringing up long resolved issues again and again. Extreme problems with letting go of people, even these who she holds grudges against (including me lol). Finally, she holds to have a good taste, but objectively, I think she is mistaken as she relies a lot on copying others.

N is what gives me most problems. She appears to have absolutely no understanding of cause and effect, which should put N in bottom of her stack. Especially when it comes to consequences of her actions to people close to her. She patches many of her transgressions by going into victim mode and emotional manipulation. Also incapable of taking any criticism at all. But reading more on Ne, I think it is actually a case of either strong defense mechanism of discarding any Ne inputs that violate her self-image or using Ne only in expressive mode, which provides her with bubbly and curious exterior, so beloved by people.

So, Fi-Ne-Si-Te (INFP). What do you think?

Thank you for reading and your input.
 
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