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Discussion Starter #1
Rules:
1. Answer however many you want to. You don't have to do the whole thing.
2. Evaluate the answers in the post above you--do they pass or fail?
3. You may evaluate as many posts as you want, but do use #2 so that everyone's test is evaluated.

Questions are from: Banai's Turing Test Page

Now, the QUESTIONS:

"What is the meaning of life?"
"Why is the sky blue?"
"How are you?"
"Is OJ guilty?"
"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
"What word rhymes with Orange?"
"What is love?" and "How does love feel?"
"Boxers or briefs?"
"Who is your best friend?"
"If the sky was red, what color would the smurfs be? Why?" - Anthony Romano
"Do you prefer open minds or only open preferred minds?" - Eric
"Paper or plastic?" - Jesse Wilson
"Please respond only when I say 'Simon Says'." - Jason Wilkins
"Do you think that I should undergo an operation to remove my brain and install a computer in my head?" - Steffen L. Norgren
"Why is it that my old car didn't have a scratch for 10 years whereas I had a head-on collision in my brand new Ferrari a week after I bought it?" - Asim Razzaq
"If 7-11s are open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, why do the doors have locks?" - Raul Mendoza
"When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?" - Cédric Sicot
"If tin whistles are made of tin, what do you make fog horns out of?" - Rich Ryba
"Do robots/androids dream of electronic sheep?" - Ben and Ann
"Why is Rhode Island neither a road nor an island?" - C.L. MacInnis
"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?" - Steven Altenburg
"Why does it rain only cats and dogs and not any other animals?" - Alan Macholtz
"What makes Teflon stick to the pan?" - John Blandford
"If you had to be a pickle, would you be kosher or dill?" - William O. Hazzard
"Tell me about your childhood." - Kirsten Sjostedt
"How are you feeling today?" - Alison Hege
"If I were your brother, who would be our mother?" - Andrew Hines
"Do you like to eat?" - JT
"Why is it raining?" - Tim Browse
"What is the worst thing about shaving?" - Fran
"What tastes sweeter, honey or sugar?" - Jo Sullivan
"If information could be completely free, would it lead to the betterment of mankind, or its detriment?" - Bryce Lynch
"How big is Canada?" - John
"Which of your parents do you love best?" - Sean Denmark
"Is there a God?" - Karla Garcia
"What two physical human actions do the letters 'X' and 'O' represent?" - Robert E. Jacobi Jr.
"Who is the prettiest girl you have ever seen? - Justin Marthaler
"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" - Tim Hagman and Matt
"What question should I ask that will allow me to determine if you're a machine or human?" - Hugh Loebner
"You have a lamp, a fireplace, and a candle, but only one match. Which do you light first?"
"On what planet in our solar system can you best breathe?"
"Where is the Eiffel Tower?" - Levantis Christophe
"Which key is to the left of the T on the keyboard?" - Josh Metcalf
"Who did you go to the prom with?" - Kirk Tarou
"Est-ce que vous parler francais?" - Doug Brown
"What is your earliest memory?" - Simeon
"What is the most romantic encounter you have ever experienced?" - Robert E. Jacobi, Jr.
"When were you born?"
 

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"What is the meaning of life?" Life has no meaning. We must make our own meaning.
"Why is the sky blue?" It has something to do with the way light reflects on the air/water molecules in the sky, I think...
"How are you?" I am fine.
"Is OJ guilty?" Yes.
"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" The chicken evolved from something before it, thus the egg containing the first modern day chicken came first.
"What word rhymes with Orange?" Door-hinge...
"What is love?" and "How does love feel?" Love is caring for another person eternally, regardless of the circumstances. Real love doesn't feel like much. It is more of a knowing.
"Boxers or briefs?" Boxers.
"Who is your best friend?" My mind. I have friends, but there isn't one that I would consider my best friend.
"If the sky was red, what color would the smurfs be? Why?" - Anthony Romano Smurfs don't exist.
"Do you prefer open minds or only open preferred minds?" - Eric Open minds. I am sick of people thinking they are open-minded when in actuality they are simply liberal-minded.

I don't want to answer any more.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
My response

To the above: You pass.

"What is the meaning of life?"
God got bored.​
"Why is the sky blue?"
Because blue light spreads well in a giant open space with no obstructions?​
"How are you?"
Look, I don't usually respond to this question when a human asks me. What do you think I'm going to do with a computer doing it as well? Computers never ask me this. That's why I like them. Shut up.​
"Is OJ guilty?"
I generally don't interrogate my orange juice. I wouldn't know. However, I am suspicious of the scrambled eggs.​
"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
Chicken. Pretty sure God created everything in adult form. Anyway, no guarantee that the egg would be viable.​
"What word rhymes with Orange?"
Door hinge. I thought we established this with the Monkey Island games. "Well, gee, I feel a little guilty now."​
"What is love?" and "How does love feel?"
Uncontrollable and irrational. ...Can I skip this one?​
"Boxers or briefs?"
If it's clean... whatever. Always wear clean underwear. It's up there with keeping your towel and toothbrush in easily locatable places.

"Who is your best friend?"
I have lots of friends. How am I supposed to answer this, take quantitative measures of how much I like everybody?​
"If the sky was red, what color would the smurfs be? Why?" - Anthony Romano
If the sky appeared red, then the likely explanation is that human eyesight has changed due to radiation or similar phenomena. Thus, the Smurfs would not actually be reflecting any different wavelengths. They would also appear to be red. If not for the subjective nature of color, however, they would not have changed in any way under this hypothesis.​
"Do you prefer open minds or only open preferred minds?" - Eric
Are you implying that any of my research would be subject to confirmation bias? I would lock your doors tonight, sir.​
"Paper or plastic?" - Jesse Wilson
Plastic. It's generally unharmed when I spill coffee on it. Unless it's more expensive to get plastic--then we'll negotiate.​
"Please respond only when I say 'Simon Says'." - Jason Wilkins
Isn't this a paradox--oh. Okay. Well, you did say "Simon Says" in that sentence.​
"Do you think that I should undergo an operation to remove my brain and install a computer in my head?" - Steffen L. Norgren
That depends. How well does your brain work? If it works badly, then yes, do. You will be an invaluable test subject.​
"Why is it that my old car didn't have a scratch for 10 years whereas I had a head-on collision in my brand new Ferrari a week after I bought it?" - Asim Razzaq
Because you focus more on the car when it's desirable. The old car was simply a mode of transportation; the new would be luxury and you'd pay less attention to your surroundings.​
"If 7-11s are open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, why do the doors have locks?" - Raul Mendoza
In case of a zombie invasion. I have a question for you now. If 7-11s are open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, why are they called 7-11s?​
"When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?" - Cédric Sicot
Purple.​
"If tin whistles are made of tin, what do you make fog horns out of?" - Rich Ryba
Whatever will hold the right shape.​
"Do robots/androids dream of electronic sheep?" - Ben and Ann
If I answered that question, wouldn't it defeat the purpose of the test? I would have to be an android to know, would I not?​
"Why is Rhode Island neither a road nor an island?" - C.L. MacInnis
Marketing.​
"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?" - Steven Altenburg
Still marketing, I'm afraid.​
"Why does it rain only cats and dogs and not any other animals?" - Alan Macholtz
They're not as cool.​
"What makes Teflon stick to the pan?" - John Blandford
Ask Wikipedia.​
"If you had to be a pickle, would you be kosher or dill?" - William O. Hazzard
I didn't know pickles could have pork in them.​
"Tell me about your childhood." - Kirsten Sjostedt
People thought I was weird then and they do now.​
"How are you feeling today?" - Alison Hege
You already asked this question. Can't you give me a break?​
"If I were your brother, who would be our mother?" - Andrew Hines
The person who birthed us?​
"Do you like to eat?" - JT
Does the big bag of candy next to me answer your question?​
"Why is it raining?" - Tim Browse
Because the big bucket of water in the sky felt sheepish and decided to sit down.​
"What is the worst thing about shaving?" - Fran
Evaluating the pros and cons of shaving makes about as much sense as interrogating your orange juice.​
"What tastes sweeter, honey or sugar?" - Jo Sullivan
Specify. Are we talking fresh clover honey or preservative-laden trash? And the sugar--brown, white, dissolved in 10 mL of water? Is it a child tasting the sweets?--Since children have more taste buds than adults, this could be another scientific variable...​
"If information could be completely free, would it lead to the betterment of mankind, or its detriment?" - Bryce Lynch
In what time period is this introduced? Starting now? Starting in medieval times? A lot of scientists would lose jobs, and they would need to become teachers instead to explain the knowledge. If this started now, a lot of people would be angry with each other, which would be bad. Judges would lose jobs. Essentially, we're talking about potential omniscience: having all information available at will. There will be some things you don't want to know...​
"How big is Canada?" - John
Big.​
"Is there a God?" - Karla Garcia
Yes. Any questions?​
"What two physical human actions do the letters 'X' and 'O' represent?" - Robert E. Jacobi Jr.
X can represent a kiss, a strike in bowling, a kill, or any range of actions. O generally implies a hug.​
"Who is the prettiest girl you have ever seen? - Justin Marthaler
I don't know. I don't evaluate that. I'm not competitive, and I'm not male or lesbian, so I have no attraction to them romantically. Claudia Donovan of Warehouse 13 is pretty cute.​
"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" - Tim Hagman and Matt
Lots?​
"What question should I ask that will allow me to determine if you're a machine or human?" - Hugh Loebner
Well, this one, apparently. If I'm a machine, I won't be able to respond to this adequately, because many of the questions intended to expose machines involve emotion, logic, and other things that require thought or human involvement. If I'm human, though, I theoretically shouldn't be able to come up with a better question than you, because you've supposedly studied the system. So any question that you ask is one that you have carefully chosen--therefore, this question was carefully chosen by a professional to expose a machine. Well done.​
"You have a lamp, a fireplace, and a candle, but only one match. Which do you light first?"
The match.​
"On what planet in our solar system can you best breathe?"
Assuming that I'm human, this one.​
"Where is the Eiffel Tower?" - Levantis Christophe
It's on Earth.​
"Which key is to the left of the T on the keyboard?" - Josh Metcalf
How far to the left? R, E, W, Q, Tab.​
"Who did you go to the prom with?" - Kirk Tarou
I went to the prom?​
"Est-ce que vous parler francais?" - Doug Brown
I am programmed to speak over 900 languages fluently. You, on the other hand, speak French like a caveman.​
"What is your earliest memory?" - Simeon
Once upon a time, I only had 7 gigabytes...​
"What is the most romantic encounter you have ever experienced?" - Robert E. Jacobi, Jr.
...Nerd guys...​
"When were you born?"
In the past.​
 
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You definitely Pass.

"What is the meaning of life?"
42

"Why is the sky blue?"
It's not actually blue. That's an illusion. Just like the fact that blue objects are actually every color but blue, since the blue is reflected instead of absorbed.

"How are you?"
Ummm... not sober?

"Is OJ guilty?"
Yeah.

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
I hate copying, but what an above poster said about the chicken evolving is accurate.

"What is love?" and "How does love feel?"
I didn't know how love felt until I realized this summer that my best friend since childhood and I are in love. There isn't any way to describe it. I barely understand it..

"Boxers or briefs?"
A combination of the two.

"Who is your best friend?"
The girl mentioned above. Not gonna give a name.

"If the sky was red, what color would the smurfs be? Why?" - Anthony Romano
I don't see how the two have any relation.

"Do you prefer open minds or only open preferred minds?" - Eric
Open Minds

"Paper or plastic?" - Jesse Wilson
Paper

"Please respond only when I say 'Simon Says'." - Jason Wilkins
Are you talking?


"Do you think that I should undergo an operation to remove my brain and install a computer in my head?" - Steffen L. Norgren
I'm a voluntaryist. I won't fault you for it, but I don't think it's a good idea..

"Why is it that my old car didn't have a scratch for 10 years whereas I had a head-on collision in my
brand new Ferrari a week after I bought it?" - Asim Razzaq
You were likely more reckless in it.

"If 7-11s are open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, why do the doors have locks?" - Raul Mendoza
In case the attendant has to use the toilet?
"When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?" - Cédric Sicot
Really? I hate the Smurfs. Can we talk about something else?

"Do robots/androids dream of electronic sheep?" - Ben and Ann
Because Harrison Ford is a great Blade Runner.

"If you had to be a pickle, would you be kosher or dill?" - William O. Hazzard
Kosher dill.

"Tell me about your childhood." - Kirsten Sjostedt
I don't know you like that.

"How are you feeling today?" - Alison Hege
.............

"Do you like to eat?" - JT
It's one of my absolute favorite things to do. I love food.

"Why is it raining?" - Tim Browse
It's not..

"What is the worst thing about shaving?" - Fran
Razor burn. yuck

"What tastes sweeter, honey or sugar?" - Jo Sullivan
Sugar, which is why I prefer honey.

"Which of your parents do you love best?" - Sean Denmark
I get along with my father the best.. If that's what you were looking for.

"Is there a God?" - Karla Garcia
I can't say no absolutely, but I would argue that there is no reason to believe that there is.

"What two physical human actions do the letters 'X' and 'O' represent?" - Robert E. Jacobi Jr.
Shudder...

"Who is the prettiest girl you have ever seen? - Justin Marthaler
Gemma Arterton

"What question should I ask that will allow me to determine if you're a machine or human?" - Hugh Loebner
Why would I give you self incriminating information?

"You have a lamp, a fireplace, and a candle, but only one match. Which do you light first?"
The fireplace. If the candle blows out before you get the lamp lit you have a large source of fire.

"On what planet in our solar system can you best breathe?"
Are you kidding?

"Where is the Eiffel Tower?" - Levantis Christophe
France

"Which key is to the left of the T on the keyboard?" - Josh Metcalf
R

"Who did you go to the prom with?" - Kirk Tarou
I didn't go to prom.
"Est-ce que vous parler francais?" - Doug Brown
Nein. Aber mein deutsch ist gut. Deutsch ist mein hauptfach.

"What is your earliest memory?" - Simeon
Me and a toy lawnmower that had a bubble with popping balls.. I think in '87?

"What is the most romantic encounter you have ever experienced?" - Robert E. Jacobi, Jr.
Oh that is too personal. Sorry.

"When were you born?"
June of 1986
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Ah, you definitely pass. The match gets lit first, of course.
 

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"Est-ce que vous parler francais?" - Doug Brown

Vous êtes une pomme de terre avec le visage d'un cochon d'inde!
 

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Promethea passes this, and all tests, for eternity.



"What is the meaning of life?"
I don't know.

"Why is the sky blue?"
Something to do with water and sunlight.

"How are you?"
Can I use my INTP card and waive myself out of this small talk?


"Is OJ guilty?"
I was like 6 when that happened. I have no idea. I guess?



"What word rhymes with Orange?"
forage
You didn't say exact rhyme. I can take artistic liberties.





"If the sky was red, what color would the smurfs be? Why?" - Anthony Romano
Blue. Smurfs is smurfs.



"Please respond only when I say 'Simon Says'." - Jason Wilkins




"Do you think that I should undergo an operation to remove my brain and install a computer in my head?" - Steffen L. Norgren
Yes. Yes, you should.



"Do robots/androids dream of electronic sheep?" - Ben and Ann
Do they dream.




"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?" - Steven Altenburg

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
(I really, really hate this question.)

I'm about to tell you something shocking, amazing, new, and astounding.
Now, Steven, I want you to sit down. I don't want you to be blown over when I unleash this beast on you.
English is written with an alphabet. An alphabet. Now, this alphabet, it has 26 letters. These letters are put together to show the sounds of a word. OKAY WE GOT IT ALL CLEAR?
Now, sometimes, SOMETIMES, we use more than one letter to represent a sound.









IF YOU NEED A MOMENT, I CAN WAIT. I HAVE ALL NIGHT, STEVEN.



I HAVE A PAPER BAG IF YOU NEED TO BREATHE.





Now, if you can, I want you to spell the word 'the'. I know, it's a tough one, but bear with me!

the

T

H

E

Now, Steven, how many letters is that?

3

Now, Steven, how many sounds was that?

2


THAT IS CALLED DIGRAPHS. PH IS A DIGRAPHS.
DIGRAPHS.
DIGRAPHS.
DIGRAPHS.
SAY IT WITH ME STEVEN.
DI-FUCKING-GRAPHS.

WELCOME TO THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, STEVEN.







"Why does it rain only cats and dogs and not any other animals?" - Alan Macholtz
Alan Macholtz, have you ever seen it rain cats and dogs? How do you know it's only raining cats and dogs? Do you even know what it is? Do you always take what others say as the truth?
I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he's expecting to wake up.





"Do you like to eat?" - JT
Yes.



"Why is it raining?" - Tim Browse
Because of ALAN MACHOLTZ.




"What tastes sweeter, honey or sugar?" - Jo Sullivan
Sugar.
I have tried honey twice in my life, and it is disgusting. I don't understand how it even became the stuff of metaphors. It tastes like... jesus, it's terrible.
Next question!




"If information could be completely free, would it lead to the betterment of mankind, or its detriment?" - Bryce Lynch
This question is too vague. What info? What counts as info? What counts as free?
Whose standards of betterment? of detriment?






"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" - Tim Hagman and Matt
All of it.


"What question should I ask that will allow me to determine if you're a machine or human?" - Hugh Loebner
"What question should I ask that will allow me to determine if you're a machine or human?"



"You have a lamp, a fireplace, and a candle, but only one match. Which do you light first?"

The match hurr hurr hurr.



"Where is the Eiffel Tower?" - Levantis Christophe
Everywhere except for where it isn't.




"Who did you go to the prom with?" - Kirk Tarou
*sobs*



"Est-ce que vous parler francais?" - Doug Brown
Ouais, un petit peu. Mon francais est tres mal, ahahaha.



"What is your earliest memory?" - Simeon
What, am I supposed to be able to just drudge this thing up at the drop of a hat?
I can't even remember where I put my glasses, and I'm supposed to recall things that happened thousands of days ago in an instant?



"When were you born?"
EVERYWHERE EXCEPT FOR WHERE I WASN'T
 

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What is the Meaning of Life?
"It depends on us, really."

Why is the sky blue?
"Tyndall effect(?)"

How are you?
"I'm fine, thanks for asking."

Is OJ guilty?
"Yes"

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
"Well, the chicken had to evolve from a chicken-like predecessor, so the egg. For those of you who do not believe in evolution, the bible says that "god created birds that fly in the air" not "god created eggs." so the chicken came first (I think theist INTP's are very few to none so this one is as good as invalid.)

What word rhymes with orange?
"Derange(?)"

What is love? How does love feel?
"It's the chemical reaction that makes us feel melty inside."

Boxers or briefs?
BOXXXOOORSS!

Who is your best friend?
A human who I can tolerate being around with.

If the sky was red, what color would the smurfs be? Why?
Blue? Because their designer will draw them blue?

Do you prefer open minds or only open preferred minds?
"Open minds."

Paper or Plastic?
"Paper."

Please respond only when I say 'Simon Says'
"..."

Do you think that I should undergo an operation to remove my brain and install a computer in my head
"No."

Why is it that my old car didn't have a scratch for 10 years whereas I had a head-on collision in my brand new Ferrari a week after I bought it?
"Because you have poor motor skills."

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
"Violet."


If tin whistles are made of tin, what do you make fog horns out of?
"Metal."

Do robots/androids dream of electronic sheep?
"It depends, are they capable of sleeping?"

If information could be completely free, would it lead to the betterment of mankind, or its detriment?
"Who handles that information?"

What two physical human actions do the letters 'X' and 'O' represent?
"Kisses and Hugs."

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
"How long does the woodchuck chuck wood?"

What question should I ask that will allow me to determine if you're a machine or human?
"Are you a machine?"

You have a lamp, a fireplace, and a candle, but only one match. Which do you light first?
"The match, of course."

Where is the Eiffel Tower?
"Paris, France."

Which key is to the left of the T on the keyboard?
"R"

Est-ce que vous parler francais?
"No, I don't."

What is your earliest memory?
"When I saw my first crush in kindergarten."

Edit: Sorry, I seem to have duplicated some of the questions.
 

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"What is the meaning of life?"
It is a travel to the hereafter, in which we must try to live honest and good lifes.

"Why is the sky blue?"
Reflection of water

"How are you?"
hungry.

"Is OJ guilty?"
Who the fuck is that?

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
Chicken of-course

"What word rhymes with Orange?"
muffins

"What is love?" and "How does love feel?"
Love is a band of intimacy and care. It feels great.

"Boxers or briefs?"
Boxers,

"Who is your best friend?"
My brain

"If the sky was red, what color would the smurfs be? Why?" - Anthony Romano
The sky is irrelevant, a cartoon may chose any sky-color it wants. Therefore, It does not have any effect on smurfs.

"Do you prefer open minds or only open preferred minds?" - Eric
I prefer minds that know when to close(don't do meth kids)

"Paper or plastic?" - Jesse Wilson
Paper, plastic is for pussies

"Please respond only when I say 'Simon Says'." - Jason Wilkins
Responded.

"Do you think that I should undergo an operation to remove my brain and install a computer in my head?" - Steffen L. Norgren
No, but liquid cooling would be nice.

"Why is it that my old car didn't have a scratch for 10 years whereas I had a head-on collision in my brand new Ferrari a week after I bought it?" - Asim Razzaq
Karma

"If 7-11s are open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, why do the doors have locks?" - Raul Mendoza
Because the cake is a lie.

"When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?" - Cédric Sicot
it turns blue, isn't that obvious?

"If tin whistles are made of tin, what do you make fog horns out of?" - Rich Ryba
horn.
 

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"What is the meaning of life?"

The meaning that i want to be.

"How are you?"

Im like no one else... just like as anyone else is unique.

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

The creature who puttet the egg where resides the newborn creature known today as a chiken.

"What word rhymes with Orange?"

Rottangen

"What is love?" and "How does love feel?"

Its a very strong and strange feeling of caring for other putting your life behind hers life (only happened to me once in a relationship), it feels great.

"Who is your best friend?"

Best friend its an utopic ideal, there are only friends

"If the sky was red, what color would the smurfs be? Why?"

Red or blue or another color... the history of the world would change if we change a significant aspect of our enviroment?? i mean all the semiotic that engages color red as blood, love, etc... if we put sky in there too... the culture have to change of course... we could take us as the childrens of the sky for example (because our blood is red), or maybe we would create a new god who like battles to death because of this red butchery... there are a lot of possibilities.


"Do you prefer open minds or only open preferred minds?" I prefer totally open minds to see what they got.

"Paper or plastic?" for the toilet? paper of course... but the plastic can be washable? if its... the human being would sacrifice the "healthyness" of his anus to salve money?


"Do you think that I should undergo an operation to remove my brain and install a computer in my head?" if you want to die... yes, also why not a dildo instead of a finger? it is more util.


"What is your earliest memory?" Beeing conscient that i am.


"When were you born?" more than a second ago.
 

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What is the meaning of life?
Life has no meaning. Shockingly, it is possible for things to happen without and inherent purpose. I think life itself falls into that category.

Why is the sky blue?
I believe it's something to do with light scattering through oxygen and nitrogen in the atmosphere.

How are you?
Not astounding, to be honest. I've been better.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
To quote Luna Lovegood: "A circle has no beginning."

What is love and how does love feel?
I wish I could tell you, but I really have no idea. Then again, my answer is based upon the assumption that you're asking about romantic love. Life would be much easier if the English language had different words for different kinds of love, like the ancient Greeks did.

Who is your best friend?
She's called Toni. I met her at school. She's been my best friend for about 3 years now. I have friends which extend further back, but I still consider her my best friend.

If the sky was red, what color would the smurfs be? Why? - Anthony Romano
Still blue, because that's their skin colour.

Do you think that I should undergo an operation to remove my brain and install a computer in my head? - Steffen L. Norgren
If that's successful, Steffen, you are a genius. If it fails, you are no loss to evolution. So sure, give it a shot.

Why is it that my old car didn't have a scratch for 10 years whereas I had a head-on collision in my brand new Ferrari a week after I bought it? - Asim Razzaq
The law of large numbers. Alternatively, Sod's law (i.e. Murphy's law) or coincidence or bad luck, depending on your beliefs.

If 7-11s are open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, why do the doors have locks? - Raul Mendoza
Perhaps when they were first built, people didn't know the building was always going to be open. That, or sexy time :wink:

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? - Cédric Sicot
"Consider yourself bamboozled!" Seriously though, not a clue. I don't know enough about the anatomy of a smurf.

Do robots/androids dream of electronic sheep? - Ben and Ann
Have you never seen iRobot?! Robots don't dream!

Why is Rhode Island neither a road nor an island? - C.L. MacInnis
Because it's a state.

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? - Steven Altenburg
To piss of people like you, Steven.

Why does it rain only cats and dogs and not any other animals? - Alan Macholtz
That's not true. It rains men too.

Tell me about your childhood. - Kirsten Sjostedt
I was born. I went to primary school. It was shit. I went to secondary school. It wasn't shit. I made friends and successfully journeyed through puberty. I got good GCSEs. Then the Harry Potter saga ended, and so did my childhood.

If I were your brother, who would be our mother? - Andrew Hines
Yo mamma's so ugly, not even fluorine would bond with her!

Do you like to eat? - JT
That depends upon the food I'm eating.

Why is it raining? - Tim Browse
Why is the rum gone?

What is the worst thing about shaving? - Fran
Ingrowing hairs.

What tastes sweeter, honey or sugar? - Jo Sullivan
Sugar.

If information could be completely free, would it lead to the betterment of mankind, or its detriment? - Bryce Lynch
Knowledge is power. Power can cause harmony or corruption depending on who's in charge. Therefore, it depends on who it acquiring what knowledge. It's mostly harmless though. Look at the internet.

Which of your parents do you love best? - Sean Denmark
Best? How can you love someone better than someone else? Moron. To answer your question, I like my mum more than my dad, but I love them both equally.

Is there a God? - Karla Garcia
I don't think so, but there is no proof either way, so I appreciate that I may be wrong.

What two physical human actions do the letters 'X' and 'O' represent? - Robert E. Jacobi Jr.
'X' would be kissing. 'O' would be hugging. "lol" looks like a man drowning. Look at it; lol.

Who is the prettiest girl you have ever seen? - Justin Marthaler
Oh, well, I just looked in the mirror and saw an absolute stunner!

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? - Tim Hagman and Matt
None, because the woodchuck's a lazy bastard.

You have a lamp, a fireplace, and a candle, but only one match. Which do you light first?
The match, of course.

On what planet in our solar system can you best breathe?
I feel like this is a trick question, but I'm going to keep it simple and say Earth.

Where is the Eiffel Tower? - Levantis Christophe
Paris.

Which key is to the left of the T on the keyboard? - Josh Metcalf
*looks down* That would be R.

Who did you go to the prom with? - Kirk Tarou
I went with a couple of my female friends. I got asked by a guy, but I didn't want to go with him. Thank God I'd already made plans with the girls, because I managed to let him down by saying, "Sorry, but I've said I'll go with my friends." Then he got a bit pissy about me not ditching them and going with him. He even asked, "If I'd asked you first, would you be going with me?" Umm, no, not if I could help it. I was also quite offended because my friends and I made arrangements in around October (prom being in June), because having just gotten into year 11, it's what our head of year would talk about. She needed to know where we wanted to go and such. Despite everyone making arrangements then, this guy still thought people wouldn't be asking others until "around February." It felt like he was implying during the whole conversation that no one else would ask me, so he could ask whenever.

What is your earliest memory? - Simeon
When I was about 10 months old, my dad used to open and close his hands (a bit like miming a star or counting in tens or Dr Cox's warning light) and I would do it back. I also remember that when I was still in a cot but after I could walk, so from about 1-3, I used to wake up, stand up and look out of the cot. If my parents were still asleep, I'd go back to sleep. I thus developed an uncanny ability to go back to sleep. If they weren't there, I'd shout so they'd let me out of the cot. Not in an annoying way. Just a hey-I'm-up kind of way.

When were you born?
January 1995.
 
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