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In a couple of weeks, I will be turning 30. That doesn't bother me so much. What bothers me is I am turning 30 and I have never been on a date. I can go as far as to say I've never gained the noticeable attention of anyone I have ever been around.

This isn't a "What did I do wrong, fix me!" thread, nor a "Boo hoo pitiful me" thread. I'm not trying to get fixed up in here either.

I just wanted to see here if anyone else has gotten this old without ever having the opportunity to step foot into the world of relationships, not even getting the chance to start, despite many years of reasonable efforts to the contrary.

I guess I don't want to feel like I am completely alone in this regard, so I wanted to see if anyone else has reached this point.
 

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Yes, me. Are You feeling better? :) Truth is, it bothered me without end. Then it stopped, because I had either choice of thinking about this constantly or rather try to do something for myself. My greatest discovery, around that 30th milestone, is that the way I see myself isn`t necessarily identical with the way other people see me.

If I can be a cause of positive reactions in others, I don`t see a reason why it shouldn`t be true in Your case. Trust Yourself and Your abilities. People are so different and have so different expectations about others... everything is still possible and nothing is finished yet.
 

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I'm 31 and never worried too deeply about such.

The whole courting process is something that has to occur extremely organically for me, starting with a very strong root system. I'm not at all interested in growing something where weeds will easily take over and strangle the life out of it. I don't feel the societal attitude towards dating this day in age lend credence to establishing this proper foundation and as such refuse to participate.

I am certain that I have lost what others would likely see as 'opportunities' by having this mindset...but I ask, opportunities for what? People who settle on shaky ground just to have the shelter, and are only inconvenienced a bit if required to rebuild think in a polar opposite manner to myself. I idealize permanence and stability in all of my dealings.

 

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Not sure if you follow the Bible or not, but either way Paul has some good advice in 1 Corinthians 7

Concerning the Unmarried[SUP]25 [/SUP]Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. [SUP]26 [/SUP]Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. [SUP]27 [/SUP]Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. [SUP]28 [/SUP]But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
Full chapter below.
1 Corinthians 7 NIV - Concerning Married Life - Now for the - Bible Gateway
 

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hmm... I'm still pretty young, 19 :p I've been in few relationships, but I do have friend who just turned 30 and he has trouble in relationships. I think he's taking it a lot harder than you are. You seem to be alright with it... my friend, well he's upset with himself that he hasn't had any luck in that area...
 

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In a couple of weeks, I will be turning 30. That doesn't bother me so much. What bothers me is I am turning 30 and I have never been on a date. I can go as far as to say I've never gained the noticeable attention of anyone I have ever been around.

This isn't a "What did I do wrong, fix me!" thread, nor a "Boo hoo pitiful me" thread. I'm not trying to get fixed up in here either.

I just wanted to see here if anyone else has gotten this old without ever having the opportunity to step foot into the world of relationships, not even getting the chance to start, despite many years of reasonable efforts to the contrary.

I guess I don't want to feel like I am completely alone in this regard, so I wanted to see if anyone else has reached this point.
My first romantic relationship (not a very successful one as it turned out) was when I was 27. So, to say it a little differently, I approached my 27th birthday never having been in a romantic relationship - not such a different experience to yours.

Good luck with your 30th. All birthdays ending in a 0 feel more significant than the others and you may feel a little pain / regret.

I know you don't want this to be a "fix me" thread but I just want to say that online dating seems to me to be a very sensible, realistic option these days.

@bluekitdon I can't imagine many people worse than "Saint" Paul to turn to for advice in this area of life.

(Sorry to end the post on a negative note).
 
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There is nothing to compare with being in a committed relationship, bonded, and growing closer. The sum of two together should be greater thatn the two apart.
And there is little more painful that being in a relationship that goes wrong.
Lonely is better than lonely and hurt.
 

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I'm pretty close - 25 and have never been in a relationship (though I have been on a few dates, they never amounted to anything). I am not unattractive, but perhaps average. *shrug* I've just never gotten attention from people that I have liked. Doesn't help that I get awkward around people, and that I have social anxiety. It does bother me quite a bit, especially when I am constantly reminded of it by relatives. It's none of their business.
 

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I was 25 when I lost my virginity (eh..). I'm 26 now and still have not been on a formal date or relationship.
 
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I'll be 30 on the 26th of this month, and I'm in a similar situation as you are (I've come close but not emotionally so). I think what we run into is that we start thinking about where we should be--a lot of people our age are in serious relationships, getting married, having children, etc., so when we're not on the same page, maybe not even reading the same book, it can make us stop and think "what's wrong with me?" But it's nothing to get worked up over; we're just moving at a different reading speed.

If you're not happy, you might want to ask yourself, are you really making the most of what you have in order to get out and meet people? Eg, if you can't seem to get attention, what can you do in order to get it in a positive way?

The good news about being 30 and not having that much dating experience is that you're not quite as jaded about relationships as you might otherwise be. I'm still optimistic; I know I have a lot to offer the right guy, and he'll turn up eventually.
 

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Bitches be slowing you down. You don't need them. At least that's what I tell myself to sleep at night.... :(

seriously though I don't think its a big deal. But if you want to change you can, although not the norm there are a lot of men and women who only started dating after 30. I do believe though that romantic attachment leads to a lot of anxiety and is largely unstable.
 
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