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Discussion Starter #1
I'm not really positive what I'm looking for or the answer to-- but I guess I'm just a little lost and confused.

After experiencing depression in my life, I noticed my Fi is so strong and I empathize with everyone + everything. I justify people's actions even when they're mean to me because I see the bigger picture + why they are the way they are. Doesn't mean I stay in an emotionally harmful space, but I recognize and acknowledge their journey. I also cry when other people are sad, and I feel everything. This wasn't like the typical ESTJ I was before. I put my values first and foremost above all else. I don't really do the whole guardian thing unless absolutely necessary.

So now I'm wondering, have I always been an INFP but because life has given me a lot of hardships that I had to suppress everything and operate in a shadow-ESTJ state. Or am I now in a shadow state and operating like an INFP.

Thanks for listening.

:( sigh.
 

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Edgelord
INFP 5w4 - ILI - Chaotic Good
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Maybe you just were very balanced function wise. Have you considered ISTJ/ENFP?
 

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Yup if you were born as an INFP then as Rosseau describes, the first thing to develop would have been your emotions which would have been very strong as a young child, the last thing to develop would have been Te logic and critical decision making. So while I've felt similar to an ESTJ at certain points of my life I know that it's not necessarily the case. Acting like that is something that was learned for me, not natural. So it's really about finding your "natural" self.
 

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Discussion Starter #4 (Edited)
Maybe you just were very balanced function wise. Have you considered ISTJ/ENFP?
I looked into ENFP, because a lot of new people I've met have mentioned they feel I'm an ENFP, but I definitely do not have the function stack order of an ENFP. I know I'm Te/Fi for sure as a driver. Ne may be what I'm the worst at lol. And I've grown so much more introverted-- or perhaps I always was because I didn't get out much, but during periods forced myself to get out there.

But it's confusing now that I'm much more balanced function wise, cuz I'm so confused. None of my tests ever show up as ESTJ anymore-- every test I've taken recently has me pegged as a feeler (which is not a bad thing at all!), but I also have to see the logic behind everything. I can't not logic emotions either.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Yup if you were born as an INFP then as Rosseau describes, the first thing to develop would have been your emotions which would have been very strong as a young child, the last thing to develop would have been Te logic and critical decision making. So while I've felt similar to an ESTJ at certain points of my life I know that it's not necessarily the case. Acting like that is something that was learned for me, not natural. So it's really about finding your "natural" self.
I think going off this, as a child I don't remember feeling a lot-- I think my first function was definitely Te then, but now I use it less than my Fi, and I don't know if this is good or bad. I don't know if this is causing me to operate in an unhealthy way because I've gotten so good at using my shadow-function. I heard it's not good to be too dependent on that-- but honestly I find Fi to be much better used in any type of relationship dynamic (romantic or not) + to always be considerate of feelings of others/yourself.

I also remember when I was younger doing/saying things then feeling guilty afterwards because I went against how I felt truly on the inside because it was the most logical decision. And now that doesn't happen because I filter through feeling.

I guess I'm just overall worried that I shouldn't be operating in my less "natural" self as an ESTJ, but honestly, I don't want to be crazy diplomatic + not considerate of feelings, I have so much empathy now I couldn't do that even if I wanted. And I don't bark orders at people ever anymore and take things way less seriously without a stick up my butt like before. I can BARELY relate to how ESTJs are except in the sense of the order in which they may process things. I use Te a lot in decision making but ONLY after I've considered every angle through all 4 functions, usually though just switching back and forth between Te/Fi.

Thanks for listening and your help!
 

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I think going off this....

Thanks for listening and your help!
Yup no problem and also when I have hung around people that seemed slightly like INFP/ISFP's as first or feely but not really later turned out to be ESTJ's or ENTJ's who had a strong sense of Fi, and I think it has come from them spending a lot of time around Fi doms. Because in my experience spending time around people who have it as their 1st and 2nd function helps develop your own a lot better. And I know this even better because my mother is an ENTJ who grew up with an INFP brother and then me, so it's just developed over time, and that confirmed my theory a little bit.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Yup no problem and also when I have hung around people that seemed slightly like INFP/ISFP's as first or feely but not really later turned out to be ESTJ's or ENTJ's who had a strong sense of Fi, and I think it has come from them spending a lot of time around Fi doms. Because in my experience spending time around people who have it as their 1st and 2nd function helps develop your own a lot better. And I know this even better because my mother is an ENTJ who grew up with an INFP brother and then me, so it's just developed over time, and that confirmed my theory a little bit.
Thank you! This makes so much sense. As the people I was around during depression that helped me through it and understand my own feelings were all feelers. The closest: INFP, INFJ, ISFJ, + ENFP. And also two of my other friends who were INFP + ENFP that came into my life during that period. So while it took me maybe way longer to logically make sense of all my feelings, they made me understand them through a feeler perspective instead of a thinker perspective. I'm sure Te/Ti-doms would've failed me so hard and just tried to pull me out of it by suppressing my feelings and writing them off as unnecessary/illogical which probably wouldn't have allowed my Fi to develop so strongly. But I feel I was super lucky that I was helped through it (which probably took way longer because I personally had to logically make sense of them as I learned through different scenarios) by all feelers, because I now I have a strong sense of both Te + Fi, and can use both depending on scenario. :)

Next is to get better at Intuition! Which I've been learning through INFJs + ENFJs.

Thanks for all your help! I think conclusion may just be ESTJ with a SUPER STRONG Fi, making me often operate like an INFP when it comes to relations with people (which I honestly feel is the better way to operate than maul over emotions/feelings like most strong Te-doms do!).
 

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Edgelord
INFP 5w4 - ILI - Chaotic Good
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I looked into ENFP, because a lot of new people I've met have mentioned they feel I'm an ENFP, but I definitely do not have the function stack order of an ENFP. I know I'm Te/Fi for sure as a driver. Ne may be what I'm the worst at lol. And I've grown so much more introverted-- or perhaps I always was because I didn't get out much, but during periods forced myself to get out there.

But it's confusing now that I'm much more balanced function wise, cuz I'm so confused. None of my tests ever show up as ESTJ anymore-- every test I've taken recently has me pegged as a feeler (which is not a bad thing at all!), but I also have to see the logic behind everything. I can't not logic emotions either.
I could see ISTJ (even more if Ne is your "worst" function). Tert Fi with Si can make them look like feelers. Or might just be age and maturity. I mean, usually when the inferior function manifests it's during stress and in a bad way.

Under stress did you usually become more bossy and critical than usual? Did you usually "retreat" and become more sensitive than normal? Or did you have a pessimistic/catastrophic outlook?
 

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Discussion Starter #12 (Edited)
I could see ISTJ (even more if Ne is your "worst" function). Tert Fi with Si can make them look like feelers. Or might just be age and maturity. I mean, usually when the inferior function manifests it's during stress and in a bad way.

Under stress did you usually become more bossy and critical than usual? Did you usually "retreat" and become more sensitive than normal? Or did you have a pessimistic/catastrophic outlook?
My lowest point during depression I was basically a martyr. I felt everything, and I would completely self-doubt and get frustrated that I couldn't do anything right. I wouldn't want to be around anyone. I wanted to feel like I was capable of doing things, but felt like I was completely useless. I felt everyone's pain and empathized, and really haven't stopped empathizing with people ever since.

And well, I'm not sure that I'm stressed out-- unless I'm unaware? Or maybe I never stopped being stressed? It's just no longer in a depressive deep dark place. I really do love my life and the people in it. I feel much better and more balanced. I'm able to take on tasks and get back to some sort of balance. I do find myself retreating a lot and needing alone time. I don't like being around people all the time. In fact if I'm thinking back, I'm not sure I ever liked it that much. When I was in a LTR, I often just spent time with my significant other, not feeling it necessary to make a lot of friends. Now I have a lot of friends and I attend a good amount of events. And I still test mostly as an extrovert, although it's usually 51/49.

Thank you for trying to process this with me! :) No one I've ever met has ever thought I was an introvert, although I've grown to be much more introverted. I'm so strange lol.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I could see ISTJ (even more if Ne is your "worst" function). Tert Fi with Si can make them look like feelers. Or might just be age and maturity. I mean, usually when the inferior function manifests it's during stress and in a bad way.

Under stress did you usually become more bossy and critical than usual? Did you usually "retreat" and become more sensitive than normal? Or did you have a pessimistic/catastrophic outlook?
I also appreciate the function stacking way you're trying to help me sort through this. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I could see ISTJ (even more if Ne is your "worst" function). Tert Fi with Si can make them look like feelers. Or might just be age and maturity. I mean, usually when the inferior function manifests it's during stress and in a bad way.

Under stress did you usually become more bossy and critical than usual? Did you usually "retreat" and become more sensitive than normal? Or did you have a pessimistic/catastrophic outlook?
Holy cow, so I've been reading and re-reading things and I think you may be right. Watching me process things has definitely been a lot of Si-Te for most of my life. I literally look at everything through how something worked before. And it makes sense why I come off as a feeler because I strongly developed my Fi. And my Ne is the next thing I'm developing. According to your function stacking analysis this makes perfect sense.

I've met one other ISTJ before, and it was weird how easy it was to communicate. IDK. lol.

Thanks again for the help while I go explore some more!
 

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@artofbalance

ISTJ's can be quite sensitive, based on my very limited experience. If you know someone with confirmed tertiary Fi in real life, then you can always ask their impressions. I work with an ISTJ daily, and while the Si-Te way of working is definitely there (the Te is so obvious for me, and Ni-Si collision would have happened if i hadn't been able to connect with Si within myself), there is also more people oriented, gentle and more open to new experiences part. I strongly suspect this person also having had some life experiences to become less like the stereotype ISTJ, but what I don't know. So I wouldn't worry about the stereotypes, and explore your humanity in whatever way makes sense for you.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
@artofbalance

ISTJ's can be quite sensitive, based on my very limited experience. If you know someone with confirmed tertiary Fi in real life, then you can always ask their impressions. I work with an ISTJ daily, and while the Si-Te way of working is definitely there (the Te is so obvious for me, and Ni-Si collision would have happened if i hadn't been able to connect with Si within myself), there is also more people oriented, gentle and more open to new experiences part. I strongly suspect this person also having had some life experiences to become less like the stereotype ISTJ, but what I don't know. So I wouldn't worry about the stereotypes, and explore your humanity in whatever way makes sense for you.
Thank you!!! :)
 
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