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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know two ENFJs:

ENFJ girl I have been friends with since 2009. As an ENTJ, she was one of those who truly understood and saw through my steely personality; it was very easy for her to see that I has always meant the best for her.
  • We have never had a fight. I had never seen her moody. Even though she was stressed, tired, or sad, she would still treat me in the same way.
  • She was very self-sacrificing and idealistic with her relationships, crushes, and friendships. I always ended up protecting her from those abusive people; I often let her know that people were taking advantage of her. She is somewhat naive.
  • She cares a lot about how people perceive her and she finds humor in how some people present themselves especially if it is in a weird way.
  • She would talk to me about her problems in the most elaborate and lengthy way; my ears would be really warm as they were glued to my phone just hearing her side of the story. Our conversations seemed one-sided because of how she expressed her thoughts.
  • I have never heard her talk bad about someone else, except for that one time when she was really frustrated about how her long time friend mistreated her. I will always and continue to love her as a friend.


The other ENFJ was my roommate who is male.
  • Religious. Known him for about a month. He discovered I was Christian. He was pleasantly surprised I was a "deep" Christian because he thought most people just labeled themselves as such and did not really practiced what they believe. He hasn't been going to church because he was upset at the lack of passion in the church. Eventually, I led him back to church; he cried to me as I asked about his faith and whatnot when he realized how calloused he had become and then he recommitted himself to God. I found it odd that it was easy for him to show vulnerability to me, barely knowing me. Can anyone explain this?
  • We would have very long conversations and it usually ends up with me asking him about himself, motivations, and whatnot (I do care about people) and he said that he enjoyed them a lot. Most of the time it is about him though. (similar to my conversations with ENFJ girl)
  • After these events, he invited me to his wedding (barely knowing him), and told me I was one of those very few (maybe two other, plus his girlfriend) people he considered to be "true" friends since he can talk to be about "deep" things. I found it odd as well how he was so quick to invite me. Anyone care to explain?
  • Very self-sacrificing. Invited and drove me to his hometown (which was so far!) and drove me back to school just so I can meet his family and his girlfriend's family. Even in my point of view, that was crazy! How can he do something like that? He also mentioned inviting me to other festivities in the future (although I am not sure if he will follow through after that whole ordeal with the crazy travel time and provisions!)
  • Heavy user of emoticons. When I would send Bible verses, he would respond with emoticons.
  • Asked my opinion on his future living conditions with his future family and wife, etc. I thought that was odd because again, I had barely known him.
  • I'm not really sure if he is just being polite or if we are really friends, because there are some moments when I would hear absolutely nothing from him, and then those other moments when I would hear everything from him. He is so different from my female ENFJ friend. I really don't know where I stand with him. I'm not really sure if he is just identifying me as a friend to make me feel good or if I really am a real friend to him. Anyone care to explain?

Now I know people can never be identical, and yet I find these two people so totally different. Can someone explain how their minds operate (especially the male, since I am so comfortable with the female)?

Would really appreciate your points of view, since I am honestly confused!
 

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Everyone is unique, and although it is natural and useful to compare two things (in this case people) or try to fit things into categories, don't get fixated on psychologizing people on an abstract level because you'll go around in circles. Instead, if you feel the urge to, settle with thinking about them on an individual and personal level first, where you take into account their personal history and patterns of behavior and speech, and use what you know about psychology or personality to possibly inform what you already know about them. Possibly is italicized because sometimes you will make incorrect assumptions or invalid conclusions.

From what you narrate, the male ENFJ definitely thinks of you as a close friend, and more specifically a true friend. He cherishes your companionship a lot and sees the depth of your friendship as rare. I believe he's being genuine; you have your explanation as to why he invited you to his wedding and did those other things with you.

Referring to what happened at the church: ENFJs are very expressive and I believe it is a sign of maturity (regardless of personality type) to express uninhibited and contextually appropriate emotions. He sounds like a mature ENFJ.
 

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Hi Eosin, I think you naturally have a lot of character traits an ENfJ would want. I can't speak for your friends, but for my reaction in reading your post, I can share my thoughts:

1. Spirituality is very important to me. You have that in your life and are willing to share your thoughts. That's a big plus and refreshing.
2. You listen. I have people dumping on me quite a bit, not that I would change my situation, but all day it's just give, give, give and listen, listen, listen. When I find someone to let me blab on, well, that's something really cool.
3. You're descriptions are awesome! If you tell them the things you listed here, it's no wonder they absolutely love you. You've really given them huge complements by saying what you have. I'd want someone to talk that way about me.

I know you wanted a guy's point of view so sorry for not being able to give you that but hopefully this helps. Maybe others will add to what recursive has said? Good luck in figuring things out!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hi Eosin, I think you naturally have a lot of character traits an ENfJ would want. I can't speak for your friends, but for my reaction in reading your post, I can share my thoughts:

1. Spirituality is very important to me. You have that in your life and are willing to share your thoughts. That's a big plus and refreshing.
2. You listen. I have people dumping on me quite a bit, not that I would change my situation, but all day it's just give, give, give and listen, listen, listen. When I find someone to let me blab on, well, that's something really cool.
3. You're descriptions are awesome! If you tell them the things you listed here, it's no wonder they absolutely love you. You've really given them huge complements by saying what you have. I'd want someone to talk that way about me.

I know you wanted a guy's point of view so sorry for not being able to give you that but hopefully this helps. Maybe others will add to what recursive has said? Good luck in figuring things out!
@Roxaboxen

Thanks for the great insight! I don't mind if its a male or female's perspective! As long as you can explain to me (which you have successfully done) what an ENFJ's perspective might be, I appreciate it!

And now I understand why it is of great value to ENFJ's especially to have a listening ear, since it seems like a lot of people unload all their problems on you guys, and you do not seem to have a chance for someone else to listen to you. I tend to readily lend a listening ear because I am concerned and I am usually not fazed by problems, especially since my life has always been full of so many problems, even until now.

Lastly, are there ways of communication that you think I should learn in order to effectively build rapport with ENFJ's? I am aware that your primary function is Fe and mine is Te, and they do not exactly communicate in the same "wavelength." In fact, I read a socionics article that talks about how if a feeler and a thinker engage in an argument, establishing a "listening" paradigm is rather difficult since one accuses the other (respectively) of being "mean" or "too emotional". I'd like to improve my relationships with both, especially the female one since I feel that I have not been as sensitive as I should have towards the female friend.

A little more info about me:
According to a "love language" test, the way I show appreciation/positive emotions to others is primarily by giving, then acts of service, then words of affirmation. I am not particularly talented/geared towards spending time together and especially touching. But it does not automatically mean that I will not attempt to grow in those areas; it might take a longer time for them to be developed.
 

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I may be getting this wrong, but it seems like you evangelized to the male ENFJ? You're probably familiar with evangelical relationships, but they tend to be very different from normal friendships. It sounds as if he sees you in relation to Christianity, and to his new faith, as his guide almost, so it makes a lot of sense to me that he is reaching out to you and being a lot more open with you than you might have anticipated. Also, he may not be being as open as you perceive him as being. I know I personally reveal a lot about myself without revealing anything. I will very casually throw in things that might seem very personal -- I'll tell someone with ease that I have my neurological disorders, that I'm traumatized, the occupation of my parents, the age of my sister, the name of my dog, the nature of my high school, where I lived, any death in my family, all about my high school friends (whatever is appropriate in the conversation; I wouldn't just throw these details out randomly, but I just give whatever I feel fits into the conversation) -- but in truth it's not personal to me. There are things that are personal to me, but the things others might consider very personal are not as personal to me.

As for the things he is sharing with you that are actually very personal, again, I would attribute that to the evangelical relationship. He probably sees you as something of a spiritual guide, so he's going to look to you for affirmation and direction.

As for your experience with the girl, it just made me smile. The only thing different is I tend to (believe it or not, as some might get a different impression of me from this forum) just listen listen listen in conversations with my best friends. It's all about their problems, and for me it's usually one sided towards discussion of their troubles. Then again, with my best best best friends I do actually talk about myself... so I would assume that she's somewhat the same way, and considers you a very close and trustworthy friend. I don't know, hug her sometime soon.

Sorry if I misinterpreted your words, but I hope this helped clear up some things!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I may be getting this wrong, but it seems like you evangelized to the male ENFJ? You're probably familiar with evangelical relationships, but they tend to be very different from normal friendships. It sounds as if he sees you in relation to Christianity, and to his new faith, as his guide almost, so it makes a lot of sense to me that he is reaching out to you and being a lot more open with you than you might have anticipated. Also, he may not be being as open as you perceive him as being. I know I personally reveal a lot about myself without revealing anything. I will very casually throw in things that might seem very personal -- I'll tell someone with ease that I have my neurological disorders, that I'm traumatized, the occupation of my parents, the age of my sister, the name of my dog, the nature of my high school, where I lived, any death in my family, all about my high school friends (whatever is appropriate in the conversation; I wouldn't just throw these details out randomly, but I just give whatever I feel fits into the conversation) -- but in truth it's not personal to me. There are things that are personal to me, but the things others might consider very personal are not as personal to me.

As for the things he is sharing with you that are actually very personal, again, I would attribute that to the evangelical relationship. He probably sees you as something of a spiritual guide, so he's going to look to you for affirmation and direction.

As for your experience with the girl, it just made me smile. The only thing different is I tend to (believe it or not, as some might get a different impression of me from this forum) just listen listen listen in conversations with my best friends. It's all about their problems, and for me it's usually one sided towards discussion of their troubles. Then again, with my best best best friends I do actually talk about myself... so I would assume that she's somewhat the same way, and considers you a very close and trustworthy friend. I don't know, hug her sometime soon.

Sorry if I misinterpreted your words, but I hope this helped clear up some things!
@alittlebear You definitely helped me a lot!

And your assessment is correct: I guess you can say that I evangelized to him. I have done this multiple times with different people, and I have not identified or categorized this type of relationship at all. Can you explain what this is like? I would like to understand how it works, and what is expected of someone like me, and how I should relate to the people that I evangelized (or how they perceive me), since I am aware that there is a huge responsibility on my part.

As for the personal information, you are right in that the things he shared are very personal. It's as if he is literally telling me what is going on in his mind, and not really mere facts or "personal information." These are things he mentioned that he was scared to share to other people since he though that most people will think he is crazy or would just stare at him oddly. It simply surprises me that people easily would expose themselves so easily, but then again, like you said, it is probably because of the "evangelical relationship" (which I please would appreciate of you if you could explain this to me).

As for the female, I moved out of state for school so I have not seen her. But I have been reaching out to her to help her out (she is also one of those "evangelical relationships" i have previously had) with problems at home and whatnot.
 

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@Eosin Sorry if the thing about the "evangelical relationship" was ambiguous/confusing... I guess I notice these things like relationships more with my cognitive functions, which would make sense (with you being an ENTJ).

I haven't researched evangelical relationships, so this is mostly just something I've noticed. This doesn't always happen when someone brings someone into the faith - sometimes it can be as simple as someone suggesting a church for another person, finding them a seat there, helping them get adjusted on a basic level - but sometimes it goes deeper than that. The person who came into the faith can come to see the person who brought them there as their guide.

I see this especially in one group I was lightly apart of. They're honestly kind of a cult - they're a campus Christian program and not the healthiest of ones... - and I think a big part of how they "control" people is that they really take advantage of the evangelical relationships. At the beginning of the semester (I only wanted to attend a Bible Study, and I didn't get sucked into this... but other people I know really have. Sorry, I just wanted to clarify that like it seems like we're stupid and we should've known better, but the way they do it... It's hard to see what's happening) we started going to Bible Study. But it's much more than a Bible Study. You're expected to go to the events hosted by the group at least half the days of the week, and if you don't your Bible leader starts asking questions. "Is everything alright?" The other people in your group start asking questions. "Is everything alright? What's tempting you? You can tell me anything." It's creepy. Of course there's a ton of other things that make the group creepy and cult-like, but this is some of it.

The real evangelical relationship comes in (or it should've come in with us) during the Bible studies. The Bible Study Leader will devote her time to speaking with those in her group, ministering to them, talking to them about their faith and advising them. And we actually talk (or talked -- I don't go anymore) a lot about how we could evangelize to others. We had to be open to them asking questions. We had to have our answers reflect spiritual teachings. We had to be their rock. We had to sit and read Scripture with them. Etc. etc etc. the whole program is based on evangelism, forming these weird and too-deep evangelical relationships and thus making it hard for someone to skip away from the program.

I don't think your church would be that extreme, and that is a manipulation of the evangelical process, but it is based on a natural thing. I'm actually Catholic, and I saw similiar, more natural processes happen within my youth group. Girls would turn to other girls for advice on their faith. We would go to the adults sponsoring the groups and ask them for advice, comfort, leadership. We didn't manipulate it - of course we were warm and welcoming to one another and such, but we didn't... base our program around these evangelical relationships - but it was still there.

I think these ENFJs - the male in particular - may see you in this way. He might see you as his... well, like I said, spiritual guide, but more of his personal minister in a way. It's nothing to be frightened about - it is somewhat natural - but it might help you to understand how he might see you as something of an authority figure (a friend - he sees you as a friend as well - but also a friend he can turn to for wisdom and advice.)

Did that confuse you more? I hope not. It's difficult for me to explain relationships because to me that's so natural to me, it's like explaining photosynthesis, but feel free to inquire further if I could clear it up any more.
 

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Seriously stop overthinking it! He has made it clear imo that you are one of his close friends. It's not about time and history, it's about you being there when the rubber hit the road. Let me assure you there are people who are around a long time but as soon as you require their support they scarper. You can trust that he sees you as a true friend. I met a new friend last year who I didn't see much of until this February, yet I know that she is a true friend and that I can trust her. I can see her character, she wears it like a badge, and there is nothing fake about her. Trust me I have seen fake. Those who talk a lot about their feelings but can't back it up with actions. Just accept that he is your friend and that your two friends are different people. Oh, and the evangelical thing... I used to be a youth leader when I was younger and I kind of mentored this teenage girl. We had some mutual acquaintances and over the years we became close friends. One day she told me I was her best friend and then I was matron of honour at her wedding a few years ago. I don't think she's friends with me because I mentored her in her faith.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 · (Edited)
@alittlebear

No, it makes a lot of sense!

Any my relationship with those I evangelized is definitely not in the same realm as what you have experienced. We definitely have clearly set borders (although not verbalized) and I do not force them to tell me things; I simply make myself available.

Thanks for bearing with me! I tend to be very inquisitive and curious, and often want to understand things past a fundamental level.

And you have a point in the authority perception. My friends (or evangelical relationships) tend to show me respect (even if I do not express the desire for them to show me that respect) more than they would their other friends.

Thanks for your input!
 

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I also do want to add that I agree somewhat with @kiwigrl. While they might have an evangelical relationship with you, that doesn't mean you aren't also their friend. It might be slightly different from a normal friendship, but it is a friendship nonetheless the evangelical thing is just something to keep in mind that might help you understand why he is so open to you, and how he might subconsciously view you

But really I wouldn't worry too much. It sounds like they're already good friends with you, and I would just work on improving that friendship in a normal friendship way :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Seriously stop overthinking it! He has made it clear imo that you are one of his close friends. It's not about time and history, it's about you being there when the rubber hit the road. Let me assure you there are people who are around a long time but as soon as you require their support they scarper. You can trust that he sees you as a true friend. I met a new friend last year who I didn't see much of until this February, yet I know that she is a true friend and that I can trust her. I can see her character, she wears it like a badge, and there is nothing fake about her. Trust me I have seen fake. Those who talk a lot about their feelings but can't back it up with actions. Just accept that he is your friend and that your two friends are different people. Oh, and the evangelical thing... I used to be a youth leader when I was younger and I kind of mentored this teenage girl. We had some mutual acquaintances and over the years we became close friends. One day she told me I was her best friend and then I was matron of honour at her wedding a few years ago. I don't think she's friends with me because I mentored her in her faith.
@kiwigrl

Great point! I am a person who tends to follow through when I say that I will do things, and I tend to be very honest and uncomplicated with respect to my commitments. Maybe that's what he saw. And I really don't talk much about my own feelings, I prefer to do things and express what I think through actions.
 

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@kiwigrl

Great point! I am a person who tends to follow through when I say that I will do things, and I tend to be very honest and uncomplicated with respect to my commitments. Maybe that's what he saw. And I really don't talk much about my own feelings, I prefer to do things and express what I think through actions.
Well you just described a valuable friend imo. A lot of people are so self absorbed that they don't make time to help people. I can see now why your ENFJ friends do most of the talking too. It's because you are a natural listener. Don't forget to reveal parts of your thoughts to your friends, so that they know you trust them also. The above friend I referred to is a great listener and I enjoy trying to get her to talk about herself as she is always taking the focus off herself in a conversation. I love to talk, but I also like to learn things about my friends.
 

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Lastly, are there ways of communication that you think I should learn in order to effectively build rapport with ENFJ's?
You're right! There can sometimes be a clash between thinking and feeling functions but sometimes the differences are a good thing too. When I need a quick answer for an unexpected situation, I will ask a thinker because they will stay calm and give me a solution I'm too panicked to think of.

In contrast, when someone treats me unfairly, I want a feeler because I would like an emotionally charged validation that it was unfair.


I like the Love Languages book too. My top two were acts of service and gifts. I wouldn't have guessed that about myself or that it was so simple to make someone happy but it works! Since you're a reader, you may want to consider looking into 'Nonviolent Communication' by Marshall Rosenberg. The book suggests words and phrases that are suppose to prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Here's the thing, if you tell an ENFJ that you're reading a book to help your communication skills because you don't want to hurt their feelings, be prepared for a hugely positive emotional reaction. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
You're right! There can sometimes be a clash between thinking and feeling functions but sometimes the differences are a good thing too. When I need a quick answer for an unexpected situation, I will ask a thinker because they will stay calm and give me a solution I'm too panicked to think of.

In contrast, when someone treats me unfairly, I want a feeler because I would like an emotionally charged validation that it was unfair.


I like the Love Languages book too. My top two were acts of service and gifts. I wouldn't have guessed that about myself or that it was so simple to make someone happy but it works! Since you're a reader, you may want to consider looking into 'Nonviolent Communication' by Marshall Rosenberg. The book suggests words and phrases that are suppose to prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Here's the thing, if you tell an ENFJ that you're reading a book to help your communication skills because you don't want to hurt their feelings, be prepared for a hugely positive emotional reaction. :)
@Roxaboxen

Thanks! I will actually order the book! Appreciate the advice! I definitely enjoy reading self-improvement books!
 

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Do you think that in large part, it's just about the type interaction between males and female ENFJs is slightly different? Male ENFJs interact differently with other males, as do ENFJ females, and on top of that you are an ENTJ. Oh, and of course, they are individuals, but that goes without saying. :]

I've had only male ENTJ friends, the relationship you described with your female friend reminds me a lot of my relationship with one of my very close friends in college, who I believed to be (and tested as) an ENTJ.

Interestingly enough, our other close friend and his roommate was a male ENFJ...and I always felt the ENTJ questioned their relationship more - whereas my relationship with the male ENTJ was always more candid.

Also, I'd like to note that after three years of being friends with the ENTJ male, I feel as though I valued our relationship MORE, and truly viewed him as one of my close friends, whereas, I feel he may have seen things differently...possibly due in part to the dynamic between the different sexes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Do you think that in large part, it's just about the type interaction between males and female ENFJs is slightly different? Male ENFJs interact differently with other males, as do ENFJ females, and on top of that you are an ENTJ. Oh, and of course, they are individuals, but that goes without saying. :]

I've had only male ENTJ friends, the relationship you described with your female friend reminds me a lot of my relationship with one of my very close friends in college, who I believed to be (and tested as) an ENTJ.

Interestingly enough, our other close friend and his roommate was a male ENFJ...and I always felt the ENTJ questioned their relationship more - whereas my relationship with the male ENTJ was always more candid.

Also, I'd like to note that after three years of being friends with the ENTJ male, I feel as though I valued our relationship MORE, and truly viewed him as one of my close friends, whereas, I feel he may have seen things differently...possibly due in part to the dynamic between the different sexes.
@Happy about Nothing.

It can probably be because of how differently males and females express themselves. With the female she acted like she was just my sister, telling me everything and whatnot. There was no confusion there. With the male, I couldn't put a finger on it initially, but it seems like he is more affected by his current moods. When he is stressed, he curls up into his own world and does not engage. But I realized that he has constantly expressed to me how he values my thoughts and opinions, even to the point of potentially influencing his future. In addition, he has expressed a real desire to do a lot of things together in the future. You are right, they are just different.

On a side note, how does myself being an ENTJ influence the way I interact/social dynamics with ENFJs (male and female) as you pointed it out? Is there something that we exude or a way that we express ourselves that cause other people to respond accordingly? I would appreciate it if you can point something out. I'm not very good at this.
 

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Ethical Intuitive Extratim - Wikisocion This is posted elsewhere, but there are subtypes of ENFJ as well as gender differences summarized in the top link pages.

The former roommates deep emotional outpourings to you on a regular basis do not sound ENFJ to me though, to be honest. One of the marks of an ENFJ is to keep intense emotions private, and feel guilty when not being others-focused. We talk a lot about ourselves, but it's usually surface stuff to entertain you, not necessarily lay our souls bare. We like making people feel warmly appreciated and supported while keeping them insulated from our own negativity or vulnerability. Because relying heavily on others feels selfish, we would rather listen and try to solve other people's problems than share our own. Your female friend's habit of always being positive around you sounds very ENFJ. Your male friend reminds me more of my ENFP friends. The level of intimacy, trust, and warmth they generate seemingly out of nowhere is often confusing to me as a quick overrun of normal boundaries (although harmless so I lap it up. Haha.). Also, my ENFP friends use way more emoticons than I do. That's my two cents. You seem to be a good listener and a good friend though, and not all ENFJs act the same so, I could be wrong.
 
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Ethical Intuitive Extratim - Wikisocion This is posted elsewhere, but there are subtypes of ENFJ as well as gender differences summarized in the top link pages.

The former roommates deep emotional outpourings to you on a regular basis do not sound ENFJ to me though, to be honest. One of the marks of an ENFJ is to keep intense emotions private, and feel guilty when not being others-focused. We talk a lot about ourselves, but it's usually surface stuff to entertain you, not necessarily lay our souls bare. We like making people feel warmly appreciated and supported while keeping them insulated from our own negativity or vulnerability. Because relying heavily on others feels selfish, we would rather listen and try to solve other people's problems than share our own. Your female friend's habit of always being positive around you sounds very ENFJ. Your male friend reminds me more of my ENFP friends. The level of intimacy, trust, and warmth they generate seemingly out of nowhere is often confusing to me as a quick overrun of normal boundaries (although harmless so I lap it up. Haha.). Also, my ENFP friends use way more emoticons than I do. That's my two cents. You seem to be a good listener and a good friend though, and not all ENFJs act the same so, I could be wrong.
@Lizzinator

He tends to wear his emotions on his sleeve. What I noticed is that he is very sensitive (hates being "let down" because many people disappointed him in the past, so he tends to be not so open to a lot of people). When he gets bummed out, everyone feels it because his mood drastically changes; although he doesn't appear explosive at all, you will see the color fade from his face and you will notice a huge difference in the mood of the company. Although I remember him saying that "It's not fair that you have to deal with this problem" upon sharing to us what upset him.

With respect to reliance, I find him sharing his thoughts to me not "relying;" he seems to not ask help from me at all. What he usually asks of me is advice and insight. Would you still consider it as "reliance?"

Do you think he is ENFJ or ENFP? When he took the test, his result came up to be ENFJ, although I am unsure of how perfectly truthful he responded. He did say that the description was pretty much what he considers himself to be. Although again, our type also depends not just on our thinking but also on our behavior.

Are there ENFPisms (things that stand out visually) that can help me type him more accurately? He seems a 'J' to me because he follows/plans a strict schedule (but usually ends up being flexible at times). On the 'P' side he seems to not like doing the mundane tasks and tend to deal with them MUCH MUCH later. I have often had to clean up his mess after him if he puts it off too long.

As for the female, I definitely agree with you that without a doubt, she is an ENFJ. Even if she is bummed out, she does not pour those "moods" to me at all; she is very considerate and even allows me to cheer her up and give advice, which definitely impacts her in a positive sense.
 

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Hi Eosin, I think you naturally have a lot of character traits an ENfJ would want. I can't speak for your friends, but for my reaction in reading your post, I can share my thoughts:

1. Spirituality is very important to me. You have that in your life and are willing to share your thoughts. That's a big plus and refreshing.
2. You listen. I have people dumping on me quite a bit, not that I would change my situation, but all day it's just give, give, give and listen, listen, listen. When I find someone to let me blab on, well, that's something really cool.
3. You're descriptions are awesome! If you tell them the things you listed here, it's no wonder they absolutely love you. You've really given them huge complements by saying what you have. I'd want someone to talk that way about me.

I know you wanted a guy's point of view so sorry for not being able to give you that but hopefully this helps. Maybe others will add to what recursive has said? Good luck in figuring things out!
You're indeed an ENFJ. The "descriptions are awesome" bit touches me because indeed the OP has paid close attention to his ENFJs and its one quality that can allow anyone to worm their way into an ENFJs head. Cute question mark.
 
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