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I've never met another type 9 girl, or at least I haven't known she is a type 9 if I have. So I was wondering what you all think two type 9s in a relationship would be like. Pitfalls/strengths/theories/observations from personal experience? I know one obvious pitfall would be that none of them would take the initiative for anything haha. But I feel like over the last couple years especially I've been getting better at being more assertive particularly in situations where no one else takes the lead (I feel like if someone needs to take the lead but no one does then I can because otherwise we won't go anywhere). But as a type 9 I know I would definitely make an effort to try and nonjudgementally listen to the other party's opinions. So thoughts? :)
 

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“I have not a doubt of your doing very well together. Your tempers are by no means unlike. You are each of you so complying, that nothing will ever be resolved on; so easy, that every servant will cheat you; and so generous, that you will always exceed your income.” --Mr. Bennett, on Jane Bennett and Charles Bingley, one of the finest 9 couples of literature. Also the only 9 couple I can think of off the top of my head.
 

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I think my current best friend is a 9w1 just like myself, she has inklings of every type within her but has a tendency to comply(and also not when it has to do with looking for help), yet takes more consideration of the other person's comfort than her own.

The main difference between her and myself is her sense of individuality is seemingly 'whole and healthy'(mine only being moderately high and still improving in finding myself) as well as her security focus(which tends to make her freak out a fair amount more than me). Her drive for perfectionism seems to be lower as well. She's also used that w1 to her advantage in being able to cut ties with people easily(after years of bad relationships), something I'm still getting the hang of since I've only been making friends and seeing people for a year now, which I think comes around when you finally find people who you truly get along with.

Now for a list:
  • We can be incredibly indecisive(and to help with that you need to discuss what is constructing the indecisiveness, because although being type 9's, you're both different people and take different things into account). It's fine when you're ordering food but the problem is when you're taking into account the other's preferences.
  • We do some weird mind-meld business when we're in each other's presence, completely aware of our own internal states because the other isn't overstepping boundaries but also extremely aware of the other person's state, it's something I have a very hard time getting to with most people, they either end up being non-engaging or too engaging.
  • We can, extremely happily just sit there and enjoy non-verbally communicating with expressions and day dreaming.
  • We won't 'take' material things from each other lightly, gifts and such while well meaning from the other person seem to blow over our minds as gifts and something just triggers to make us not want to 'take' anything from the other person. I think we both want to maintain the transcendence of ego within ourselves by never owing and only appreciating.
  • Excessively apologising for having to cut chats short or not being able to commit to things(only in text where the melding doesn't happen).
  • We can express things to each other whole heartedly and be understood without having to second guess intentions(since we're always in each other's skin already).
  • While we clearly enjoy each others company, it's just as easy to do nothing but stare at each other and voice random thoughts and ideas(from time to time) as it is to... sit there and day dream with each other instead of doing things we should be doing.
  • Neither of us are really 'down on ourselves' and if we are it gets resolved almost instantly by being in one another presence, I think we're amazingly good at resolving each other's insecurities when they do arise(I've even had enough of an impact at times for her to want to give me a gift in return).
  • If one of us feels strongly about something, the other won't try to change their mind, if we feel like innaction, the other will simply comply with that and be okay. Although we both have the w1 in us, it basically goes unused when we're interacting with each other because neither of us seem capable of pushing each other(although we're fine with pushing other people when we truly believe it'll improve their lives). Or maybe we've grown that level of trust with each other(which happened after the third time I met her at uni practically) where we believe that we know what's best for ourselves, we're certainly very self-aware.


I haven't met anyone I felt so at peace and open with before and sit there comfortably without the need to do anything(and that's what most people usually say about me). I am more myself around her than anyone I've ever known and it's pulling out aspects of my personality that I have not seen in years(good, spontaneous and playful ones).

It might help that I also consider myself to fit the psychological profiles of INFJ and HSP except with fewer of their general pitfalls because I'm rather well-rounded(maybe due to being type 9?), my only problem being I have no sense for financial or material security(I just completely ignore it and procrastinate on such things). I'm also a bit different from the general INFJ profile in that with the right people, I can be very outspoken about my feelings, exactly as they are to whoever I feel them towards and a beacon of appreciation for those around me.
 

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I'm close with another Type 9 who lives on the other side of the country, we'd have a good relationship if it was at the right time in our lives and distance wasn't an issue, but we always have our eyes on other people and aren't bothered by the lack of emotional connection between us since it's a very jokingly monotonous friendship.

I see it working between the right people for sure, but one certainly needs to have more of a drive towards achieving success than the other to not get brought down by how dull life could become I'd think.
 

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sounds like it would be boring
It could be, depending which subtypes & wings each type is as well as on passions.
I'm heavily into music, I look up to other Type 9 musicians however know I could never work with them due to control issues. I think if it gets boring then the 9's won't mind all too much as long as there's little to no conflict.
 

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sounds like it would be boring
I did date another 9 for a few months and it WAS boring, terribly boring, in fact I still refer to him as "Boring [Insert Name Here]." But I think it depends on the 9s, and what their interests are, and possibly instinctual stackings-- if you have a lot of common interests (I'm not sure Boring Man had ANY interests) and you aren't looking for, like, adventure, but you just want to live quietly and happily, then I think it would be quite nice.
 

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I'm in a double 9, double INTJ relationship. I know of at least one other such couple.

It isn't boring at all. :p It is relaxing, emotional, intellectual, complicated, cuddly, argumentative, intense, and very peaceful.

:p

So there you go.

It depends on the person, and how open they are willing to be with you, and you with them.
 
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