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Does anyone else just feel absolutely drained and unlike yourself if you're around someone too long? I didn't think my SO was one of those people, but...
My boyfriend recently started working out of town and I now have 90% of the week to myself. Prior to that, we both shared a tiny room in my families home (we have our own bathroom and bedroom attached) and neither of us really left it oftentimes. Unless we had shopping or family matters to deal with. (or spending time with my brother for him)
After the initial shock of him working away from home so often I realized I am much(!!) less stressed. Before I didn't speak to anyone, didn't do daily tasks because I didn't think I enjoyed them, and was just generally stressed and upset.
I now do things I did before he moved in, feel more sociable in general, and in a much better mood throughout the day. People actually give me a bit of energy sometimes now and actually take the time to feel them out and ask how they are. I stepped out of that light a long time ago sometime after he moved in because of stressed.
But, I feel like a jerk because it's definitely not his fault and I wasn't even aware I felt like that because of our situation until recently. I don't want to do anything when he is around! I have no idea why.
A short list of things I simply don't want to do when he is around: clean, daily chores like brushing my teeth (ew I know), and I even got out of my skin care regiment which is fucking weird for me. (Excuse the language) I used to do facial masks once a week, wash my face every day, and generally was pretty hygienic. Not anymore. I find it strange that I FEEL like doing these things now.
Want to hear something extra insane? I even stopped doing something which is just weird for me. Reading. I'm reading again now like crazy and I'm just shocked I ever stopped.
Has anyone experienced this? I never realized how stressed I get being around him all the time even if I love him to death! I can't help myself and I definitely can't help him when I am like that! I let two years pass by feeling cramped as hell and generally just moping.
I'm now realizing that is why I was so stressed and upset all the time, and... I really can't believe it. I never would have thought.
I of course never stopped caring how he felt and we managed to make it work (many times we almost ended things) I always put him first. I just... Forgot about myself.
Anyone else felt similarly before and why? Any input on my experience?
 

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Weird.. I get like this, but I think being an ENFP I'm much more sensitive/familiar to this feeling, and I tend to notice almost immediately.

It sounds to me like you think there's some kind of flaw in you- like it's not normal to feel this way, and that somehow it either has to be yours or his "fault" that you feel this way. I think it's just normal and completely understandable that even if noone does anything "wrong", this just happens.

Look at elderly couples and you see so often they irritate each other a lot, but when it comes to a birthday or anniversary or something you can really see how much they actually love each other.

Having said that, it just sounds like you need more space in relationships than you realised before. It's easy to think you know everything about yourself after all these years, but often when something stresses you in a way that is confusing it's a sign that there's something else to be learnt.
 

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I agree with windblownhair's POV. Perhaps he's got something that weighted him down. You picked up on it therefore you were weighted down.

I also have a tendency to defer to the man I see. I also need to speak up when I need a time out, otherwise I'd feel trapped after a while.

Perhaps this is a good thing that you are feeling this way. You two can have an open discussion on how to make your relationship a win-win with both needs somewhat met.

Best wish and hope you two work this out.
 

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just throwing this out there, but maybe it is your living situation, not necessarily the person? maybe living in a one bedroom, and not having any separate personal space might be causing your gloom. do you think it might be different if you moved into a bigger apartment and you had your own personal space for your own activities?
 

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just throwing this out there, but maybe it is your living situation, not necessarily the person? maybe living in a one bedroom, and not having any separate personal space might be causing your gloom. do you think it might be different if you moved into a bigger apartment and you had your own personal space for your own activities?
This is why. I used to live in a room with my SO and rarely got out of the room. While she found stuff to do as hobbies indoors, I fell deeper and deeper into depression. Then we got our place and I have slowly gotten out of depression over time. It's nice to have your own space and all and it allows you to grow a bit straight. You know, as opposed to always being careful about the needs of others you share the space with, all the time.
 
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