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Discussion Starter #1
I can't seem to find this anywhere. The main enneagram site explains the various relationships between type 2s and other enneagram types but doesn't seem to elevate any particular pairings as the site does for other enneagram types.

I'm curious to hear any opinions you guys may have about your ideal type pairing?
 

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When I first saw this thread, I thought to myself "Stay away from it, you're going to be very biased". But I don't see anyone else replying and I wouldn't like you to feel as if the thread is being ignored, so... keep in mind I'm sx/sp.

I don't think my answer can be any different than "There is no ideal type for me", simply because being loved is part of my basic desires and I suspect that's the reason that 2s have no ideal pairing. There's an ideal person, a person who will not run for her life as soon as she realizes the intensity of the way I love. Her type doesn't matter. There's no type that does that by default.

I'm not sure my reply has given you any insight, but I'm being honest.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
When I first saw this thread, I thought to myself "Stay away from it, you're going to be very biased". But I don't see anyone else replying and I wouldn't like you to feel as if the thread is being ignored, so... keep in mind I'm sx/sp.

I don't think my answer can be any different than "There is no ideal type for me", simply because being loved is part of my basic desires and I suspect that's the reason that 2s have no ideal pairing. There's an ideal person, a person who will not run for her life as soon as she realizes the intensity of the way I love. Her type doesn't matter. There's no type that does that by default.

I'm not sure my reply has given you any insight, but I'm being honest.
It has helped already. Would you say that type 2 love somewhat resembles that of a person with borderline personality disorder?
 

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It has helped already. Would you say that type 2 love somewhat resembles that of a person with borderline personality disorder?
Granted that I don't know much about the disorder other than what google shows me, I wouldn't say so, especially for healthy 2s. The feeling is not unstable at all, despite the intensity and constant growth of it.

I could go on and on about unhealthy 2s and their feelings, but the bottom line would be that they manipulate to get love, which challenges my definition of the word.
 

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Alrighty. Makes good sense.

I found it a little odd that for every other type there was an ideal pairing but type 2 and anyone pairing with type 2 was the odd one out. They seemed to be both compatible and not compatible with all types.
 

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Alrighty. Makes good sense.

I found it a little odd that for every other type there was an ideal pairing but type 2 and anyone pairing with type 2 was the odd one out. They seemed to be both compatible and not compatible with all types.

I don't know about a 2's ideal mate. Maybe it's because 2's love everyone and in the midst of a difficult relationship, they can always find something good to hang onto if that's who they want to be with. And in that, types don't make the difference, it's solely about the individual and how they capture the 2's heart. We have a very selfless way of looking at love, so we tend to be very patient with a lover that would be most difficult for anyone else. In soon time, the difficult person will usually change, because they see the dedication from their 2, which makes them want to be a better type themselves. (or is that my ego talking? LOL)
 
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Discussion Starter #9
I don't know about a 2's ideal mate. Maybe it's because 2's love everyone and in the midst of a difficult relationship, they can always find something good to hang onto if that's who they want to be with. And in that, types don't make the difference, it's solely about the individual and how they capture the 2's heart. We have a very selfless way of looking at love, so we tend to be very patient with a lover that would be most difficult for anyone else. In soon time, the difficult person will usually change, because they see the dedication from their 2, which makes them want to be a better type themselves. (or is that my ego talking? LOL)
If you've read enneagram books you'll realize the selfless you're describing is actually selfish.

And I think your projection is a subjective idealism rather than reality in every situation.
 

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If you've read enneagram books you'll realize the selfless you're describing is actually selfish.

And I think your projection is a subjective idealism rather than reality in every situation.
Well if I were to speak subjectively, I would then perhaps agree to selflessness being selfishness.
However, in this particular instance, I don't see it being selfish at all.

Continuing to be with someone you can't comprehend and brings you a lot of turmoil is not a selfish act unless you fear being alone. If you are there because you are giving that person a chance as appose to leaving because of the intensity that you're not used to, (being an emotional punching bag), I see that as a very selfless act. This is my reality in this situation. But please feel free to explain further.
 

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My bf is a 2 and I am an 8 - I think this is a very common pairing considering that throughout most of my life my best friends have almost always been 2s. My boyfriends parents are a 2/8 coupling, and a few of my couple friends are as well. So I need some advice here, my bf and I are moving in together in a month.... Any advice for not stomping all over his 2 with my bull in a china shop 8?
 

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@brittan: look inside you -- why are you so 8-like? Remember what is against you (presumably not your boyfriend), and that in your strongest times, you integrate to type 2. If you're the best version of yourself, presumably this means you won't be stomping indiscriminately, but using your strength to protect.
 

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This talks about Type 2s and 5s

I'm a 2 happily married to a 5.

I admire 8s and feel I 'get them' really well. But my dad was an 8 and is somewhat unhealthy and so now I'll admit that when dating and I saw 8 tendencies I'd head for the hills.

But I also know healthy 8s that ROCK!
 

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This talks about Type 2s and 5s

I'm a 2 happily married to a 5.

I admire 8s and feel I 'get them' really well. But my dad was an 8 and is somewhat unhealthy and so now I'll admit that when dating and I saw 8 tendencies I'd head for the hills.

But I also know healthy 8s that ROCK!
As a 5 trying to take notes on how to win over a 2, could you please post a bit more about what it was about your 5 husband that won you over?

This has remained a great mystery to me: how do 2s and 5s come together despite their extreme differences in interests and approaches to life?

I'd greatly appreciate any insights that you might be able to offer.
 

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Well if I were to speak subjectively, I would then perhaps agree to selflessness being selfishness.
However, in this particular instance, I don't see it being selfish at all.

Continuing to be with someone you can't comprehend and brings you a lot of turmoil is not a selfish act unless you fear being alone. If you are there because you are giving that person a chance as appose to leaving because of the intensity that you're not used to, (being an emotional punching bag), I see that as a very selfless act. This is my reality in this situation. But please feel free to explain further.
Well, how about this other person, does it bring turmoil to them as well? Then maybe they would be better without you?

And do you fear of being alone?
 

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Well, how about this other person, does it bring turmoil to them as well? Then maybe they would be better without you?

And do you fear of being alone?
In some cases it may and In some cases it may not. Just depends on the people involved and how they individually feel about it. But it's not just about the turmoil aspect as much as it is about who's going to be the 'bigger person', or which one would sacrifice their tongue to keep the peace. Otherwise, assist in tempting the other person to make an impulsive decision of leaving the relationship (when they'd really wish to stay, but can't handle differences). Only to regret it in the future, but find themselves unable to be welcomed back with open arms.

To answer your question; Maybe they would be better without the other individual. In a case as such, that's a choice they'd have to decide for themselves.

And no, I personally don't fear being alone. I'm content with myself moreso than I am with anyone else around me.
 

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A site with statistics on marriage stated that 2's disproportionately marry 4's, 6's and 8's. I find this strange because I'm attracted to 5's and 7's
 
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As a 5 trying to take notes on how to win over a 2, could you please post a bit more about what it was about your 5 husband that won you over?

This has remained a great mystery to me: how do 2s and 5s come together despite their extreme differences in interests and approaches to life?

I'd greatly appreciate any insights that you might be able to offer.
My unsolicited 2 cents.... I think when a 2 learns to balance going towards a Five and when to stand still and allow the Five to close the distance. When a 5 learns to balance standing still and going towards the Two proactively. When both recognize there is nothing to "fix" within their partners and learn to appreciate and incorporate the other one's style to some degree into their own.

When a 2 realizes giving is for the giving and not to build up an account for future need of "love withdrawals". In other words, when a 2 doesn't make the 5 feel responsible for their feelings, blame, and/or manipulate the 5 because the 5 doesn't show love in a particular way and/or on a particular day. To understand allowing a 5 freedom to withdraw and come forward without any pressures, expectations, obligations, etc will help them to find their own rhythm and they will come forward more often.

I think a Five will win a two over, in my opinion, when they recognize the cycle of plenty and scarcity for a Two. In other words, many twos (not including the unhealthy variety) don't appear to need love from others so to speak until they have run themselves dry in trying to pleas/give to others. If a Five can look for the pattern of upcoming scarcity and preempt it by showing love, care, and attention...I think it will go a long ways to winning over the two and preserving the relationship. Oh yes, verbal affirmation and gratitude can go a long way to making the Two in their life feel special.

I think Twos get a certain satisfaction from the giving but it always helps to hear they are appreciated and valued for all they do for others. On the flip side for twos operating in the average to lower ranges, it would benefit them to catch themselves in the act and recognize when they have crossed over into the domain of giving for counter-productive reasons.

Bottom line good open honest communication would be the key.....if both parties seek to understand the other instead of viewing the other as something that needs fixing....work together to find resolutions...in other words see each other like two judges trying to discover the most effective sentence for a criminal vs two opposing attorneys trying to win a case. Then, I think they will discover a world of joy and fulfillment within each other.

Disclaimer: This all my opinion...and we know everybody's got one just like [email protected]@holes. So, if you don't like..... I won't be offend if you flush the shit down the toilet. :laughing: Btw, this is my biased opinion from observing a suspected 2w1, 2w3, and a 2w1.
 
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