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Discussion Starter · #1 ·

Oh boy, where do I begin?
No really, where do I begin?
Was there ever a beginning? Will there ever be an end?
Was this planned from the start, did it just fall into place?

Yes, you might notice my attraction to sadness.
I smell your contempt as I indulge in my melancholy.
But sadness is pure, it's constant and inevitable.
It's long-lasting and like a warm blanket sometimes.

Please don't call me sensitive, that's not quite the right word.
It implies that I am too weak for the world.
But the truth is quite the opposite, for I find meaning in the world everywhere.
This meaning can be quirky, it can be imaginative, but it's always a treasure to share.

Guilt often plagues my soul, so much so it's almost wired.
I've rationalized the reason for it to go away, but there it lingers in my abdomen.
Perhaps it is because I feel so out of place in this world, as if I don't belong.
But I'll take this wrathful guilt over being a defective person.

I really long to understand myself.
Why am I so different? Why don't I fit in?
I wish I didn't carry this envy in my heart when I see someone rewarded for their efforts.
My stresses are often relieved by dissolving into my fantasy world, one where I am rewarded.

I suppose individuality is better than conformity.
But wouldn't that qualify as self-absorbtion?
I must release my self-doubt and self-indulgence.
And I must not dwell on the past, because I can never change those horrible things in my childhood.

I sometimes turn people away with my addiction to the morbid reality.
I don't mean to burst everyone's bubble, but some sadness can help you develop empathy.
If you're all so positive all the time, how will you handle it when negativity strikes you where it hurts?
There is much grief left to uncover, but my true longing is contentment.

I just wish my greatest desires weren't unattainable.
And I wish my emotional flatness could be eased by some means other than melancholy.
Won't a soul mate rise from the shadows and rescue me from this castle?
I doubt it, for what prince would choose me?
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