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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello everybody.
I want to speak about something is bothering my mind, at the moment. I discovered the enneagram some months ago, and I found it a very helpful and meaningful way to see the world. I am a 4w5 (sp 4).
Lately, I have been discovering the type of some of my close friends and I discovered they are almost type 7's - The adventurer.
For me, to get along with some much 7's it's something positive, since they are always craving for adventures and new things. The problem starts when I want to get in my space and get a little isolated (in order to recharge batteries) - they don't seem to understand it- which is very frustrating.

I would like to know what do you, guys and gals, think about this.
:crazy:
Feel free to say whatever you want.

PR.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Interesting, isn't it?

«Enneagram Fours and Sevens tend to be intrigued by each other since they are a generally a case of opposites attracting. Fours tend to be quiet, introverted, self-doubting, emotional, and pessimistic, while Sevens tend to be outgoing, extroverted, self-confident, mental, and optimistic. Sevens help Fours overcome shyness and a possible reluctance to try new experiences. Fours help Sevens stay focused on what they really want—and to respect and allow their feelings. Fours and Sevens bring to their relationship the charge and mystery of their differences—that they think so differently, react so differently, and find pleasure in such different ways. They can therefore become intrigued by the other, finding him or her endlessly fascinating, always ready with something new and unexpected.

Both Fours and Sevens bring a capacity for joy and ecstasy, spontaneity, emotion, and for passion. Both Fours and Sevens love lively conversation and they can pass hours sharing with each other detailed accounts of the events of the day as well as their thoughts and reactions. Both Fours and Sevens love the finer things of life, travel, good food, wine, clothes, and furnishings, and, for better or worse, both can tend to overspend their incomes on what they consider life's necessities—caviar, champagne, and another trip to Europe. They both have a love of the new and a sense of adventure and romance that can keep their relationship fresh and lively for themselves and be a source of joy and inspiration for others. Both types can be funny, irreverent, and entertaining. There is also an earthiness and bawdiness to both, as well as, paradoxically, a sophistication and elitism. Being opposites, Fours and Sevens can balance each other: Fours bringing a sense of depth and interiority, while Sevens contribute a sense of fun and emotional resilience.»

PR
 

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It's where I learned how to laugh at the shit in my life, though I do filter them for understanding my need for alone time. I have also found that it is better to deal with the ones who actually talk about interesting things - they tend to wear me out less allowing for more fun time. ^_^
 
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The only 7 I am close to is my mother's boyfriend (like a stepfather to me). He is a very healthy 7 and I love being around him! He helps me relax and stay optimistic.
 

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Well I'm married to one, and I find we help balance each other out so that neither one is too extreme in either our negatives or positives. We give the other persepctives that alone we possibly wouldn't be aware of. I help him discover his emotional depths and the way to healing, he helps pull me up out of my emotional depths to see the good and opportunites that life has in store. :)
 

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The description of the 4&7 is essentially my husband and I. Overall a good combo. He has a group of friends he goes and has fun with while I stay home and paint or read. He used to perceive my need for alone time as some sort of threat but now he understands that I need it just as he needs activity. We are different in many ways but we for the most part like the same music so we share that- going to concerts, buying records. He helps me be fun and I help him feel comfortable with his deeper/darker feelings.
 

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@Angeli Rose : wow....that's eye opening. I've been getting to know a few type 4's lately,specifically Infp's and your post was just awesome.
They've been helping me with things and 'discovering' emotional depths with myself. And offering perspectives i hadn't even thought of. It's wonderful. I'm not sure what I do for them though. It's so weird that the infps I've really been able to get to know on a personal deep level happen to be type 4's as well. I was drawn to them somehow and they make it easy to open up and talk about anything. Damn you type 4's! Discovering all of my little secrets....
 

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@Angeli Rose : wow....that's eye opening. I've been getting to know a few type 4's lately,specifically Infp's and your post was just awesome.
They've been helping me with things and 'discovering' emotional depths with myself. And offering perspectives i hadn't even thought of. It's wonderful. I'm not sure what I do for them though. It's so weird that the infps I've really been able to get to know on a personal deep level happen to be type 4's as well. I was drawn to them somehow and they make it easy to open up and talk about anything. Damn you type 4's! Discovering all of my little secrets....
Whoa I forgot that there is something good about us.

Anyway, I have a roommate who is a 7. He's probably pretty unhealthy though so we might not be a great example of what a 4 and 7 are supposed to be like. I like that he takes the initiative to put gathers and outings together and I think that he feels like I'm someone he can really talk to. The problem is though that living with him it can be hard to get him to respect my need for space and he doesn't take hints well when I want him to leave me be.
 

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Whoa I forgot that there is something good about us.

Anyway, I have a roommate who is a 7. He's probably pretty unhealthy though so we might not be a great example of what a 4 and 7 are supposed to be like. I like that he takes the initiative to put gathers and outings together and I think that he feels like I'm someone he can really talk to. The problem is though that living with him it can be hard to get him to respect my need for space and he doesn't take hints well when I want him to leave me be.
There's alot about type 4's that I like personally. Many endearing traits, well ones that I value highly. Apparently very magnetic to me at least.

Yeah, he might need to learn some respect and manners. Principles that any type could do well to learn. When my good friend Dave(infp type 4 shocking i know) lived together for a year, we had no problem respecting each other's space. We both liked our alone time just fine. We both work on creative pursuits that can be solitary. Myself with writing and music. Him with Programming and music. So it worked out great for us.
 

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I don't mind type sevens and I can get along with them pretty well, but a romantic relationship with one is a different story. As a 4w5 Sx/Sp with very strong Sx instinct, it's a match made in hell, especially if the type 7 is So-dominant. When I want more depth, they get bored. When they want more stimulation, I get annoyed. It's very unfulfilling when both people are pulling in completely opposite directions.
 

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I don't mind type sevens and I can get along with them pretty well, but a romantic relationship with one is a different story. As a 4w5 Sx/Sp with very strong Sx instinct, it's a match made in hell, especially if the type 7 is So-dominant. When I want more depth, they get bored. When they want more stimulation, I get annoyed. It's very unfulfilling when both people are pulling in completely opposite directions.
I can see the instinct playing into this, but I also wonder about tritype. My husband I would guess is an ESFP sp/sx 7w6-1w2-4w3(?). (I never thought he could have 4 in his tritype but he does like very four-ish music and art, he's absurdly romantic, and he must have a reactive fix in there somewhere. I'm certain about the one.) Sometimes I feel like he wants more depth and connection than I'm willing to give. He's way more externally dramatic and moody/reactive than me, more demonstrative of his feelings. That said, he's very averse to things like enneagram or going deep in that sort of way. He's kind of frightened of darker emotions although he's less so than he used to be. Also he can kind of be self conscious and reserved/shy at times. I've had the hardest time figuring out his type. He seems 7 in a lot of ways- I'm confident now it's his core type, but he's also very devoted and emotional and caring.

But yes, sometimes the need for stimulation gets annoying. That's when I suggest he leaves the house and goes and does something. Not that I really have to suggest it. He's always busy.
 

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Like you, most of my close friends are type 7. I thought they were threes because they can look alike, but no, they are sevens.

Friendship based on mutual intersts (arts, ideas, aesthetics, hiking, running, music, ect.), same opinions on people/love of gossip, good food, and lots of fun, along with mutual acceptance of the other, which both actually really want. Sevens are pretty easy going and don't make me feel judged, which I appreciate.

Also I have wondered if I'm really a 4-7-8. They say people get along more easily with those of their tri-tpye in a different order, and I KNOW that all my seven freinds have a 4 in there. Just food for thought.
 

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Like you, most of my close friends are type 7. I thought they were threes because they can look alike, but no, they are sevens.

Friendship based on mutual intersts (arts, ideas, aesthetics, hiking, running, music, ect.), same opinions on people/love of gossip, good food, and lots of fun, along with mutual acceptance of the other, which both actually really want. Sevens are pretty easy going and don't make me feel judged, which I appreciate.

Also I have wondered if I'm really a 4-7-8. They say people get along more easily with those of their tri-tpye in a different order, and I KNOW that all my seven freinds have a 4 in there. Just food for thought.
@adverseaffects, I could easily see you as having 7 in your tritype:)
 
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