
I wanted to write about type Four as a child and thought I could post it here too. Here it is, feel free to share your thoughts about it.
As I've written here and as many others already know, Enneagram types are more like motivations. We are different because we are motivated by different things. And motivation is something we have always had. Of course, our temperament and other biological factors affect our motivations and personality. But motivation is there before experiences. And type Four is motivated by finding love, meaning and fulfillment through self-expression and deep connection. This is true for the type Four child too. And the basic motivation will be the same the whole life --> to recognize your type it's helpful to think about your childhood too.
Common qualities
¤ is easily hurt
¤ wants to be seen as special
¤ longs for fancy clothes
¤ is introspective
¤ loves imaginative and mytholgical plays and stories
¤ is interested about art and collects lovely items
¤ is creative
¤ seems a bit sad or depressed at times
¤ finds anything regular and normal quite boring
¤ loves anything mysterious, unpredictable and enchanting
¤ are usually warm and friendly but can feel shy and lonely
¤ wonder if they really belong and fit in
¤ long for things they don't have
¤ is very sensitive and prone to feel ashamed when others are angry at them
¤ long for a deep emotional relationship with a soulmate
¤ want others to accept their feelings and listen
School
¤ introverted Fours are shy, can find it hard to be with others whole day and can be afraid of school
¤ extroverted Fours (introverted are more common though) are sociable and want to please their teachers and meet other children
¤ are sensitive and it can cause difficulties, fours can somaticize... Monday mornings can be especially hard. Also, their emotions can immobilize them (oh really)
¤ will need consolation when they have had tough experiences to be able to do their homework - if they're not in the mood, they're not in the mood and need understanding, not forcing
Manners and socializing
¤ are usually obedient and don't want to hurt others but if they're not understood, they can become offensive... If someone hurts their strong principles, they usually can't hide their resentment.
¤ have strong sympathies and antipathies towards others
¤ can become antagonistic if too jealous
¤ don't necessarily want to participate in socializing suddenly but need their time, not forcing
Eating
¤ are sensitive to lose their appetite if there are a lot of worries and troubles in the family
Emotional life
¤ respond lightly if they're being pressured to behave in a certain way
¤ are afraid of being abandoned and can be jealous, self-critical and punish themselves
¤ want to be loved and noticed
¤ can be very desperate and pessimistic
¤ want to find the meaning of their life
¤ are melancholic
¤ need to have their own time
¤ are able to be very compassionate and help those who need help
¤ tend to dramatize
Development of the type
¤ experiences of abandonment (because of divorce, death, new sibling, work, disease etc. in the family) --> the conclusion of being somehow defective and not good enough --> motivation for being special to be noticed and loved... even being sick, suffering or living at the edges will do
¤ the original experience of abandonment could be behind the sense of tragedy, loss and suffering
¤ the accessibility of the care taker could have been behind the mood swings
My sources:
Jerome Wagner, The Enneagram Spectrum of Personality Styles
Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram of Parenting
The Enneagram: Basic Characteristics Of The Nine Enneagram Types