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Discussion Starter #1
this just hit me. i identify as type 4 dominant (478) and i do so with pride. i don't like reading the descriptions that say type 4 believes they're only valuable if they're unique etc i didn't really get that. in fact secretly i consider it the best heart type to be. i can see the futility of 3's desire to achieve success just to impress others and feel sorry for the 2s that need to give in order to feel worthwhile. but as a type 4? oh yeah i'm totally impervious to other people's thouoghts and opinions. or so i say.

and yet it must be something about the 2am it just kind of hit me all at once. so i make art and i churn out lots of it, it's kind of the thing that i take the most pride in. i'm creative, i'm unique, and when i create i don't give a fuck, i don't care about technique only expression, and i love that. i was journaling about this and it just kind of came to me fully formed, this image of myself, this person who needs to have artefacts of her creations in order to have something to show for herself. i was journalling and lamenting that i hadn't done enough art recently and then it like hit me how i think journalling isn't art. how my inner universe, the whole maddening process of writing my thoughts down and how that keeps evolving, how i think that that isnt art. and furthermore, how the source of it, my inner universe itself, my inner workshop if you will where all this material is coming from, isn't art. that unless people can tangibly see some kind of creation that she's produced and is busy with all the time, she can't justify her existence.

which i think gets to the heart of what no one ever does value about creatives: their process, the life that creates it, as opposed to their end product.

what is type 4's damage? why are we not good enough unless we have some unique creative work or idea or some other unique thought-out thing about us to show for all the time we spend on our own? how neurotically we separate ourselves from the tribe and are just obsessed with NOT being part of it. is it our fear of enmeshment? do we worry that if we blend in we might disappear altogether? is it an age-old grudge we hold against the tribe for never being there for us or helping us build our identity, and thus we had to forage for our own identity all by ourselves and now it's too precious to let go of? both of these resonate within me.

the whole point of enneagram is to not be your enneagram anymore. this one is particularly hard to let go of. i hold on so tight. but i suppose at least i'm a bit more aware than i was yesterday.
 

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I must say that this is beautifully written and I enjoyed a core FOUR with 478 tritype's perspective on creativity and art.
FOUR with this tritype is surpisingly expansive and cutting-edge which doesn't correlate to most descriptions of the FOUR's pathos of being deficient and lacking something that others might have.
Care to share your dominant instinct if you happen to know it?
 
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INFX 4w3
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I am an orphan and thus, I assuredly have suffered quite thoroughly as a result of this. They that fours live in a fantasy world and often imagine themselves as tragic figures, and seem to suffer from abandonment issues, well I really had all that in spades. I really lived in my own world of sorts for a long ass time. The world was just completely overwhelming and confusing.

I've been through a lot of hell in my life I guess, if I were to really pertain attach a specific cause or explanation for all of it, I seem to be kind of plagued by some issues as a result of my experiences and are really difficult outright do away with. It's like I cannot really move on from my past I guess, it just resurfaces once in a while, it's not always that big of a deal I guess but I just find that it really all defined me as a person I guess. I have a giant chip on my shoulder and it's really hard not to be super pissed an angry at the world sometimes too sporadically. I have moments where I get randomly sad because of this but also I get moments of rage as well that just really simmers and seethe inside of me and there's no real way to explain it.

I seem to in particular gravitate to things about wayward lost youth's and the like and like I said I just can't seem to move on.

Like for example, I've never really been an Avril Lavigne fan but I found myself listening to this song over and over, and I can't explain why it just really captures those specific feelings and experiences. I can't really explain or make sense of it but I just can't move on for some reason. I don't exactly spend all my time unhealthily dwelling, it's just a weird thing I experience.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I must say that this is beautifully written and I enjoyed a core FOUR with 478 tritype's perspective on creativity and art.
FOUR with this tritype is surpisingly expansive and cutting-edge which doesn't correlate to most descriptions of the FOUR's pathos of being deficient and lacking something that others might have.
Care to share your dominant instinct if you happen to know it?
wow, i literally feel like crying reading what you wrote. thank you so much.
from another isfp no less. <3
i'm fairly certain i'm sx/sp
 

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INFX 4w3
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Oh no, I thought the point of this thread was your specific damage that coincides with the enneagram four type.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I am an orphan and thus, I assuredly have suffered quite thoroughly as a result of this. They that fours live in a fantasy world and often imagine themselves as tragic figures, and seem to suffer from abandonment issues, well I really had all that in spades. I really lived in my own world of sorts for a long ass time. The world was just completely overwhelming and confusing.

I've been through a lot of hell in my life I guess, if I were to really pertain attach a specific cause or explanation for all of it, I seem to be kind of plagued by some issues as a result of my experiences and are really difficult outright do away with. It's like I cannot really move on from my past I guess, it just resurfaces once in a while, it's not always that big of a deal I guess but I just find that it really all defined me as a person I guess. I have a giant chip on my shoulder and it's really hard not to be super pissed an angry at the world sometimes too sporadically. I have moments where I get randomly sad because of this but also I get moments of rage as well that just really simmers and seethe inside of me and there's no real way to explain it.

I seem to in particular gravitate to things about wayward lost youth's and the like and like I said I just can't seem to move on.

Like for example, I've never really been an Avril Lavigne fan but I found myself listening to this song over and over, and I can't explain why it just really captures those specific feelings and experiences. I can't really explain or make sense of it but I just can't move on for some reason. I don't exactly spend all my time unhealthily dwelling, it's just a weird thing I experience.
hey. thanks for sharing. i love that song i can see why you like it. i'm sorry to hear about your experience of life, i know it can't have been easy, we rely on healthy parents for so much. it's incredible that you're still here which means you are very resilient and courageous. what you describe here sounds like dissociation and your other symptoms are honestly completely normal for survivors of childhood neglect and abuse and i relate 100%. i went through a very traumatic childhood as well. no, there is no moving past it by trying to forget about it no matter what anyone tells you, it changes you in fundamental ways. the only way out is through. for me the path was finally getting down to doing really extensive inner healing work. luckily there is a lot of good research out there and very effective healing modalities in the therapy space if you take the time to look. i hope you are able to find those resources and unburden yourself from your past. it's taken me a few years but it is absolutely possible. i wish you the best of luck. much love <3
 

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wow, i literally feel like crying reading what you wrote. thank you so much.
from another isfp no less. <3
i'm fairly certain i'm sx/sp
Oops! I forgot to change my MBTI to INFP :( Sorry.

Sexual 478 doubles down on intensity as it seeks dive deep into relationships and its passion :)
 

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Oops! I forgot to change my MBTI to INFP :( Sorry.

Sexual 478 doubles down on intensity as it seeks dive deep into relationships and its passion :)
still, thanks.
yep intensely passionate i dont know where it comes from 😅
 
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