[perennialurker]

I am sure there are similar threads somewhere with the associated links, but I am more interested in anecdotal accounts in this instance. What are your experiences with both a type 5's disintegration toward 7 and our integration toward type 8? Please describe.

 

[suicidal_orange]

I know I've disintigrated when I find myself trying to do something creative. I have a guitar I might play once a year (haven't so far this year...) and several magazines on fantasy art that were bought on days when I "realised" that I'd never know enough to feel confident in life or sustain close relationships, so I'd may as well do anything rather than try. I then realise I wont be good at these creative things either without putting in the effort but instead of doing so I read up on drawing techniques or listen to some music for inspiration without doing anything to improve my own skills (back to 5 :frustrating. I was considering rebuilding my guitar before I'd played it at all!

 

[PixieSaysHi]

Disintegration toward 7: I become manic (although oddly others seem to think I'm becoming healthier). Not true mania by definition, but I lose a lot of impulse control, I talk too much (others don't seem to think so), I jump in too quick to answer, I attempt to socialize more. I can't think very clearly or prioritize. Mentally "buzzed" would be a good way to describe it.

Integration toward 8: This is a very good place to be. I am calm, focused, assertive and can even lead if need be (although I'd rather not). When I am in this place I feel my vision can actually come to fruition. Others respond differently when I'm in this mode. People don't seem to question me and almost willingly fall in line with my plan. It's like having the expertise and knowledge of a 5 with a kick of authority and confidence from the 8 arrow. Now if I could only manage to hold onto that integration and not continue vacillating, I COULD CONQUER THE WORLD! Muhahaha. *menacing grin*

 

[Jamie.Ether]

Disintegration to 7: I get so extremely scattered. I get this mental buzzing energy and get very restless. I can't sleep, I forget to eat, there's constant chatter in my brain, jumping from one thought to the next. I can't focus on my own thoughts and can focus even less on what it going on around me. I get more talkative, sometimes in an almost aggressive way. My speech feels pressured. I get "snappy". I respond to people before they are done talking. I say a lot without saying anything important or necessary. I start a bunch of projects but don't finish them. I get bored really easily and it makes me really irritated. I become self-indulgent and have mood swings. Lots of half-baked ideas. I jump the gun and get ahead of myself. I start arguments that I can't finish. I get frustrated and feel claustrophobic. Like super ADHD, but most of it is mental. I'm a pretty reserved person so it's likely others won't notice much of a difference.

 

[sleepyhead]

Disintegration to 7: I get so extremely scattered. I get this mental buzzing energy and get very restless. I can't sleep, I forget to eat, there's constant chatter in my brain, jumping from one thought to the next. I can't focus on my own thoughts and can focus even less on what it going on around me. I get more talkative, sometimes in an almost aggressive way. My speech feels pressured. I get "snappy". I respond to people before they are done talking. I say a lot without saying anything important or necessary. I start a bunch of projects but don't finish them. I get bored really easily and it makes me really irritated. I become self-indulgent and have mood swings. Lots of half-baked ideas. I jump the gun and get ahead of myself. I start arguments that I can't finish. I get frustrated and feel claustrophobic. Like super ADHD, but most of it is mental. I'm a pretty reserved person so it's likely others won't notice much of a difference.

In reading some of your threads I've noticed we have a few similarities in how our 5-ness comes out. I really relate to the way you go to 7. I feel very restless and like I can't let myself relax. I get quite snappy too, annoyed, stressed, and generally want others to get my point a lot faster. I feel like it really comes out in my anxiety - I just have to move and constantly do something, my mind has to constantly be occupied.

In the last year I feel like parts of myself have started to move into 8 a lot more, especially at work. This last week I had an interesting experience. In the spring (2012) I was supposed to do a project (group facilitation) that I thought I felt prepared for, but I was feeling really rushed, anxious, unsure, and 2nd guessing in other parts of my work. Last week staff decided that we should slow down the process and I would do my project next spring (2013). I didn't even realize the project had been stressing me until I no longer had it on my schedule. My whole demeanor at work this week changed - I feel 10x's more confident, I'm taking a leadership role again, I'm not 2nd guessing myself at all, and all the tiny tasks that had piled up got completely cleared off my to-do list. I felt like a different person all week, it was great. Now I just need to hold on to that in other parts of my life.

 

[Muser]

We see the Direction of Disintegration as a way of relieving stress by acting out behaviors that are not native to our type. It functions as a "safety valve" so that potentially overwhelming pressures and anxieties within the psyche can be let out. We feel that the Direction of Disintegration is not "bad," and can even be adaptive. It helps to slow the descent to a lower Level of our own type—a much more serious problem.
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/articles/NArtLevels.asp

For me, I take on a self-protective "Pfft, it [whatever's causing the anxiety] doesn't bother me" attitude and I busy myself (superficially?) with multiple interests and topics. It's a mixture of denial, resignation ("Ah, well, might as well accept it") and pride (too proud to admit that the issue is bothering me). It's like a safety net, albeit a paper-thin one that I can see through. Nevertheless, I still indulge myself in this state of carefree nonchalance.
As part of this, I've also noticed myself hamming up laughter when alone, be it laughter at myself or things I normally just chuckle at.

Regarding the positive side of 7, it sometimes does help me put things into perspective.
Secondly, it makes me active and more of a participant in the real world, giving me that feeling of competence and confidence that is often a Catch-22 for 5s.

 

[Curiously]

Disintegration to 7: I get so extremely scattered. I get this mental buzzing energy and get very restless. I can't sleep, I forget to eat, there's constant chatter in my brain, jumping from one thought to the next. I can't focus on my own thoughts and can focus even less on what it going on around me. I get more talkative, sometimes in an almost aggressive way. My speech feels pressured. I get "snappy". I respond to people before they are done talking. I say a lot without saying anything important or necessary. I start a bunch of projects but don't finish them. I get bored really easily and it makes me really irritated. I become self-indulgent and have mood swings. Lots of half-baked ideas. I jump the gun and get ahead of myself. I start arguments that I can't finish. I get frustrated and feel claustrophobic. Like super ADHD, but most of it is mental. I'm a pretty reserved person so it's likely others won't notice much of a difference.

Scary, this describes me so aptly.

 

[LeelaWho]

I have auditory processing disorder. When I disintegrate my language processing fails and I have a hard time processing what people say, start slurring my words and my grammar disappears. Exhaustion makes this worse.

So, I usually isolate myself. I got tired of people thinking I was retarded/had aspergers/etc.

The complete opposite happens when things are going well. My speech is fine, I don't need to stare at their lips in order to understand them, and I write well. And I like being around people again.

 

[Jamie.Ether]

I have auditory processing disorder. When I disintegrate my language processing fails and I have a hard time processing what people say, start slurring my words and my grammar disappears. Exhaustion makes this worse.

So, I usually isolate myself. I got tired of people thinking I was retarded/had aspergers/etc.

The complete opposite happens when things are going well. My speech is fine, I don't need to stare at their lips in order to understand them, and I write well. And I like being around people again.

This is interesting. When I get really stressed, I get dyscalculia. I can't process numbers in the form of symbols into verbal expressions. I get the numbers all mixed up. I also, when stressed, have a hard time reading. It's like my brain will assume a word before I have seen it and I read words that are not actually there. It's harder if I try to read something outloud. The symbol-word translation gets messed up in my head.
I also slur my words and mumble...sometimes will use the wrong word without even noticing until someone corrects me and I have to think "Did I REALLY say that? I didn't mean to." It can be confusing.

 

[sleepyhead]

This is interesting. When I get really stressed, I get dyscalculia. I can't process numbers in the form of symbols into verbal expressions. I get the numbers all mixed up. I also, when stressed, have a hard time reading. It's like my brain will assume a word before I have seen it and I read words that are not actually there. It's harder if I try to read something outloud. The symbol-word translation gets messed up in my head.
I also slur my words and mumble...sometimes will use the wrong word without even noticing until someone corrects me and I have to think "Did I REALLY say that? I didn't mean to." It can be confusing.

That's so funny, I was just diagnosed with dyscalculia (although I've had it all my life, apparently - 8 years of math tutoring should have told me). Although I just have it all the time, not only when I'm stressed. I do also have issues with getting my words mixed up when I'm tired. My mom (type 9) does this too though. She also had dyscalculia but she grew out of it in her teens.

 

[VivianeScrooge]

disintegration to 7 : i become socially open, i talk to strangers, i'm show-off ish, i tease(and be completely surprise i can do it properly), i'm smiling, but feeling really insecure. like in minutes people will attack me or something. usually after that refuge, i will feel worse than i normally do
integration to 8 : this is where i feel in control,looking at eye birds view, limited contact but observing simultaneously. but people will be really judgemental and offended.
when the 8 hysteria faded, i retreat to my 5 nature. evaluate my actions, looking for possible mistakes. and the cycle went on and on.

 

[sodden]

7- scattered, don't follow through, get really excited about new possibilities, spend money more freely, restless, drink more alcohol, flirty, impulsive, more social, "fun", reveal personal information I never would otherwise

8- (at average levels)- severely resist advice or control from others, irritable/reactive, intense/come on too strong

Integrating- grounded, self-confident, perceptive in a useful, insightful way, actually accomplishing the things I want to accomplish. Sociable in an authentic way. Tough.

 

[BeauGarcon]

This topic made me realize my dominant type is 5 and not 4.
Very scary to see how I can recognize myself so well in all this.

Type 7: Restless mind, impulsive, looking for short-term gratification, lack of confidence and try to fight this by learning about a lot of different subjects (but not really in depth). Mind is rather foggy, thoughts don't last as long.

Type 8: Concentrated, confident, goal-oriented, more dominant, clear mind. Feeling in control.

 

[Jamie.Ether]

I've noticed lately, when I'm stressed [in that unhealthy 7-ish state] I try to find a lot of information to help me, but don't look deeply enough and can't focus.. Lately what I've done is grab a dozen books and articles on the subject that is bothering me, quickly scan and skim through the information without really taking it in and then looking for more information.

 

[madhatter]

I've noticed lately, when I'm stressed [in that unhealthy 7-ish state] I try to find a lot of information to help me, but don't look deeply enough and can't focus.. Lately what I've done is grab a dozen books and articles on the subject that is bothering me, quickly scan and skim through the information without really taking it in and then looking for more information.

Lol...I do that all the time. I have so many websites, articles, and what-not bookmarked on my browser that I only skimmed, and never went back to re-read it. I seriously need to go through my bookmarks and delete some.

 

[sleepyhead]

Lol...I do that all the time. I have so many websites, articles, and what-not bookmarked on my browser that I only skimmed, and never went back to re-read it. I seriously need to go through my bookmarks and delete some.

I just went through all my long list of unsorted bookmarks the other day and deleted half and re-organized the rest...but I still haven't gone back and really read them.

 

[wk05]

When unhealthy the only word I can use to describe my state of mind is ADHD.

I can't concentrate on one thing for more than a minute.
My eyes dart all over my surroundings, never really seeing anything at all.
My knee or leg or hands or arms are constantly moving (anxiety).
I nod but never really listen.
I forget what someone has told me not 30 seconds prior.
I can't read or write with others around.

My brain literally refuses to concentrate and I can't stop moving.
I become almost... frantic?


Is that what you guys have experienced?
I'm reading the descriptions of a type 7 but I can't really grasp how such traits would manifest in the context of disintegration?



...& now all can think about is listening to The Cure's album Disintegration. Good album.

 

[Ellis Bell]

Sorry for necroposting, but I found this through a search for type 5 integration, and I found myself relating to a lot of the posts in this thread. When I'm stressed I definitely become scattered; I start a sentence and end with "where's my brain?" There's no logical connection between one thought and the next. I also become somewhat like what I imagine my drunk self would be like: I become almost manic. if I'm stressed at work, I start one project, then abandon it when I think of something else I can do.

Growth towards 8, I become much more assertive, less apathetic. But, alas, I still have that stubborn, domineering streak.

 

[Entropic]

Extreme disintegration towards 7 is awful. I become extremely unfocused and scatter-minded and I want to do everything at once but I don't know where to start so I end up doing nothing in the first place, or I start to do something and then I quit before I barely begun because I have a desire to do something else too. I also feel very stressed like I constantly need to be on the move and just do something, yet I don't know what I am supposed to do. My thinking pattern also seems to become more incoherent as I constantly move between one subject to another but I am bad at making the connection clear to everyone else.

I have never really experienced that my wing has disintegrated but I have experienced disintegration towards 8 where I become cold, callous and manipulating and I only focus on my own survival and the end justifies the means. I will feed on the weak around me and abuse them to fulfill my own selfish desires. My relationship with my ESFJ grandmother perfectly demonstrates this behavior when I was younger. She's either a 2 or a strong 2 fixer (I think she's some 269 tritype) who's never been particularly healthy and I used her desire to serve me in order to gain what I wanted for myself. She'd cook my food, clean up my mess and do anything essentially and because of her own levels of unhealth she wouldn't tell me to stop and manage on my own. It was all about what I wanted to increase my maximum levels of comfort.

Out of the two paths, I experience 7 as the worst though, because the panic that I experience when I disintegrate towards 7 is awful. It feels like I'm always behind and I must catch up but no matter how much effort I put into it I am not getting anywhere and I just keep falling more and more behind.

 

[wk05]

Let's just say that my bank account does not appreciate my disintegration to 7.