Type Six - The Questioner
Sixes are motivated by the need for security. Phobic Sixes show their fear and seek approval, while counterphobic Sixes are daring or confrontational and hide their fear. Both phobic and counterphobic traits often appear in the same person.
Fives, Sixes, and Sevens constitute the head center of the Enneagram, where the big issue is fear. Phobic Sixes are usually cautious, compliant, and dependent, and they consciously or unconsciously seek the protection of an authority figure. Counterphobic Sixes hide their fear behind an aggressive and challenging facade and rebel against authority. Most Sixes are a combination of phobic and counterphobic.
Sixes at their BEST are:
Sixes at their WORST are:
What a Six would say about himself:
"I am a loyal friend and partner. I usually don't trust anyone I haven't known for a long time. I am alert by nature. I feel especially close to my partner when we are standing together against a common enemy or working for a common cause. I am proud of my intellect. I usually become very indecisive when stressed. (This applies especially to the phobic style.) People sometimes complain that I am too reactive, defensive, and controlling. (This applies especially to the counterphobic style.) In a major crisis, I usually overcome my self-doubt and anxiety. I mistrust people who try to flatter me. There's almost nothing I like less than pretension. I am usually responsible, hardworking, conscientious, and precise. I frequently examine or test the loyalty of my friends or partner. People say I take things too seriously. At my worst in an intimate relationship, I am either insecure and anxious (when phobic) or testy and confrontational (when counterphobic). I either think things through very carefully before I take action or I boldly charge in. I prefer what is proven and predictable over what is new and unknown. I either look to others to give me direction or I completely ignore advice and do whatever I want. I often obsess about the worst possible outcome. When threatened, I either become anxious and seek protection or confront the danger head
Sixes with a strong Five wing (6w5) tend to be serious and studious. They also tend to be intellectually oriented, original, idiosyncratic, quiet, reclusive, negative, contentious, and arrogant.
Sixes with a strong Seven wing (6w7) tend to be outgoing and active. They also tend to be sociable, ingratiating, playful, materialistic, manic, overreactive, and irritable.
Things Sixes Would Never Dream of Doing...
- Remaining totally optimistic and calm when their partner is three hours late from an afternoon of skydiving
- Relaxing all weekend long, secure in the knowledge that they will do just fine when their new job begins on Monday
- Enduring a two-week guided tour with twelve chattering, flattering, giggling busybodies
- Being certain that they are the perfect teacher for the Power of Positive Thinking class
- Forgetting the head of the company's name when introducing him or her at the stockholders' meeting and laughing it off
- Going directly to their boss with a major grievance and not first soliciting support from their co-workers
- Sitting in the first row of the balcony at the theater and not wondering if the railing is strong enough to lean on
- Appreciate their loyalty, intellect, compassion, wit, and the ability to come in emergencies or crisis situations
- Encourage them to move on to more constructive thoughts and projects when they have a problem that can't be resolved
- Reassure them of your commitment to the relationship
- Be open and honest. They feel safer when all the cards are on the table.
- Make clear agreements with them that leave no room for doubt
- Don't flatter them, act overly nice, or beat around the bush
- When in conflict, let them know that you are looking for a way to resolve the matter constructively
- If they go into a rage, back off and let their anger wind down; reacting angrily or fearfully only adds fuel to the fire
- Encourage them to talk about their fears. Listen without trying to fix what is bothering them.
- Be honest and sensitive if their anxieties begin to drive you up the wall
- Encourage them to get reality checks when hurt or offended by asking the offender what he/she really meant
- Encourage them to get plenty of exercise to hep prevent and relieve anxiety and stress
- Encourage them to stop thinking and to take action when appropriate
- Show them that some options require measured risks
- Help them focus on the best things could happen rather than the worst
- Urge them to learn to trust their own decisions and to trust what each moment brings
-Excepts from "Are You My Type, Am I Yours?" by Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
I am by no means an expert, but I do have this book and thought others might find it interesting. I started with the Sixes, but there is more info regarding how Sixes view/relate/get along with the other eight types, and I might add that too (possibly in a different thread, so aptly named). If anyone wants, I can also write up the other types as well. I just would rather see if there is a demand before I actually do that. ^_^ Also, if people do like this and want others, maybe these could be stickied?