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Type Six - The Questioner

Sixes are motivated by the need for security. Phobic Sixes show their fear and seek approval, while counterphobic Sixes are daring or confrontational and hide their fear. Both phobic and counterphobic traits often appear in the same person.

Fives, Sixes, and Sevens constitute the head center of the Enneagram, where the big issue is fear. Phobic Sixes are usually cautious, compliant, and dependent, and they consciously or unconsciously seek the protection of an authority figure. Counterphobic Sixes hide their fear behind an aggressive and challenging facade and rebel against authority. Most Sixes are a combination of phobic and counterphobic.

Sixes at their BEST are:


  • Loyal
  • Alert
  • Curious
  • Caring
  • Compassionate
  • Witty
  • Practical
  • Responsible
  • Supportive
  • Honest
  • Reliable

Sixes at their WORST are:


  • Anxious
  • Controlling
  • Unpredictable
  • Paranoid
  • Defensive
  • Rigid
  • Testy
  • Suspicious
  • Sarcastic
  • Hyper-vigilant
  • Cruel

What a Six would say about himself:

"I am a loyal friend and partner. I usually don't trust anyone I haven't known for a long time. I am alert by nature. I feel especially close to my partner when we are standing together against a common enemy or working for a common cause. I am proud of my intellect. I usually become very indecisive when stressed. (This applies especially to the phobic style.) People sometimes complain that I am too reactive, defensive, and controlling. (This applies especially to the counterphobic style.) In a major crisis, I usually overcome my self-doubt and anxiety. I mistrust people who try to flatter me. There's almost nothing I like less than pretension. I am usually responsible, hardworking, conscientious, and precise. I frequently examine or test the loyalty of my friends or partner. People say I take things too seriously. At my worst in an intimate relationship, I am either insecure and anxious (when phobic) or testy and confrontational (when counterphobic). I either think things through very carefully before I take action or I boldly charge in. I prefer what is proven and predictable over what is new and unknown. I either look to others to give me direction or I completely ignore advice and do whatever I want. I often obsess about the worst possible outcome. When threatened, I either become anxious and seek protection or confront the danger head

Wings
Sixes with a strong Five wing (6w5) tend to be serious and studious. They also tend to be intellectually oriented, original, idiosyncratic, quiet, reclusive, negative, contentious, and arrogant.
Sixes with a strong Seven wing (6w7) tend to be outgoing and active. They also tend to be sociable, ingratiating, playful, materialistic, manic, overreactive, and irritable.

Things Sixes Would Never Dream of Doing...

  • Remaining totally optimistic and calm when their partner is three hours late from an afternoon of skydiving
  • Relaxing all weekend long, secure in the knowledge that they will do just fine when their new job begins on Monday
  • Enduring a two-week guided tour with twelve chattering, flattering, giggling busybodies
  • Being certain that they are the perfect teacher for the Power of Positive Thinking class
  • Forgetting the head of the company's name when introducing him or her at the stockholders' meeting and laughing it off
  • Going directly to their boss with a major grievance and not first soliciting support from their co-workers
  • Sitting in the first row of the balcony at the theater and not wondering if the railing is strong enough to lean on
How to Get Along with Sixes:

  • Appreciate their loyalty, intellect, compassion, wit, and the ability to come in emergencies or crisis situations
  • Encourage them to move on to more constructive thoughts and projects when they have a problem that can't be resolved
  • Reassure them of your commitment to the relationship
  • Be open and honest. They feel safer when all the cards are on the table.
  • Make clear agreements with them that leave no room for doubt
  • Don't flatter them, act overly nice, or beat around the bush
  • When in conflict, let them know that you are looking for a way to resolve the matter constructively
  • If they go into a rage, back off and let their anger wind down; reacting angrily or fearfully only adds fuel to the fire
  • Encourage them to talk about their fears. Listen without trying to fix what is bothering them.
  • Be honest and sensitive if their anxieties begin to drive you up the wall
  • Encourage them to get reality checks when hurt or offended by asking the offender what he/she really meant
How to Give Sixes Extra Support:
  • Encourage them to get plenty of exercise to hep prevent and relieve anxiety and stress
  • Encourage them to stop thinking and to take action when appropriate
  • Show them that some options require measured risks
  • Help them focus on the best things could happen rather than the worst
  • Urge them to learn to trust their own decisions and to trust what each moment brings
-Excepts from "Are You My Type, Am I Yours?" by Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele



I am by no means an expert, but I do have this book and thought others might find it interesting. I started with the Sixes, but there is more info regarding how Sixes view/relate/get along with the other eight types, and I might add that too (possibly in a different thread, so aptly named). If anyone wants, I can also write up the other types as well. I just would rather see if there is a demand before I actually do that. ^_^ Also, if people do like this and want others, maybe these could be stickied? :unsure:
 

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imru said:
# Relaxing all weekend long, secure in the knowledge that they will do just fine when their new job begins on Monday
# Enduring a two-week guided tour with twelve chattering, flattering, giggling busybodies
# Being certain that they are the perfect teacher for the Power of Positive Thinking class
# Forgetting the head of the company's name when introducing him or her at the stockholders' meeting and laughing it off
# Going directly to their boss with a major grievance and not first soliciting support from their co-workers
# Sitting in the first row of the balcony at the theater and not wondering if the railing is strong enough to lean on
Get out of my head!!!!

Encourage them to move on to more constructive thoughts and projects when they have a problem that can't be resolved
Well played in the "eternal soul thread" m'lady.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Why thank you, kind sir. :cool:

And to your first comment here, I took the tests for the Enneagram type and kept getting 4 or 6. Then I found this book earlier this morning at a thrift shop. The information on my type from this book was really much more useful than most things I've found online. I'm assuming it might be helpful for others as well, since several of us (and others) have increased difficulty with the Enneagram Typing.
 

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Why thank you, kind sir. :cool:

And to your first comment here, I took the tests for the Enneagram type and kept getting 4 or 6. Then I found this book earlier this morning at a thrift shop. The information on my type from this book was really much more useful than most things I've found online. I'm assuming it might be helpful for others as well, since several of us (and others) have increased difficulty with the Enneagram Typing.
I remain skeptical (IRONY) of the Enneagram system, but it certainly gives a little bit of referential insight into the interactions with Friends and family..

Positive; I lean toward counterphobic 6w5 , whilst a close INTP friend (also 6w5) leans heavier into phobic - we balance eachother out, in that regard.

Negative: My mother marks the line between confusing a 6 with an 8.. And for quite some time, I marked myself down as an 8.

I may seem mollycoddled by the texts, but books do it better for resources IMO.. Of course that may be dismissed as a loyalist opinion.
 

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Iron Fist
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This is so much better than any profile online.

Which makes it much more scarier :unsure:
 

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Discussion Starter #6
This is so much better than any profile online.

Which makes it much more scarier :unsure:
That's what I thought! So I figured if it was helpful for me, it was probably helpful for others as well, especially since so many people seem to be just as puzzled about it! ^_^ I'm slowly working out typing them all up. But it does have a lot more information, including which MBTI are most commonly each type and how they all relate and view one another. They also have the differences in each subtype, which I believe we here are used to referring to as Variants.
 

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This is scarily so much like me. xD Although I'm very counterphobic if I can help it. I hate being a burden on others, and find dependency to be a weakness.

Oh man...I'm such a 6w5.
 
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Iron Fist
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Isn't anyone else a 6w7? *looks around*
 

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Phobic Sixes are usually cautious, compliant, and dependent, and they consciously or unconsciously seek the protection of an authority figure.
 

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Wizard
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But if you're a 5w6, that would mean that you're a 5 with some measure of 6 tendencies. It doesn't mean that you're equal parts 5 and 6 or that your primary type is 6.
 

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I'm type 6 and I agree with all the traits but I'm independent not dependent - but I'm a wing 5 does that have anything to do with it?
 

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I'm type 6 and I agree with all the traits but I'm independent not dependent - but I'm a wing 5 does that have anything to do with it?
I'd start here. :proud:

Trope said:
How does it not make sense?
Phobic Sixes are usually cautious, compliant, and dependent, and they consciously or unconsciously seek the protection of an authority figure.
But if you're a 5w6, that would mean that you're a 5 with some measure of 6 tendencies. It doesn't mean that you're equal parts 5 and 6 or that your primary type is 6.
So basically, the same thing, except switch six with five and yeah.
 

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Get out of my head!!!!


Well played in the "eternal soul thread" m'lady.
Seriously, if people would just listen. A bar near here has a second floor that overlooks the bottom bar. It's really cheeky and designed by an idiot. There is a wooden stand up section(for holding beers, a minibar if you will) on the second floor where people put their drinks. The only protection is a 45 degree slant up to prevent the inevitable fall of drinks from drunk idiots to the bottom and the ensuing cracking skulls, inevitable concussion, brain damage, death, lawsuit. Why do people not see this?
 

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Seriously, if people would just listen. A bar near here has a second floor that overlooks the bottom bar. It's really cheeky and designed by an idiot. There is a wooden stand up section(for holding beers, a minibar if you will) on the second floor where people put their drinks. The only protection is a 45 degree slant up to prevent the inevitable fall of drinks from drunk idiots to the bottom and the ensuing cracking skulls, inevitable concussion, brain damage, death, lawsuit. Why do people not see this?
And you are a type 6, I presume?
 

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*whines*

How is it that when a very phobic esq person actually tries to ACT, and DOMINEER, and say what they think it just ends up with the worst possible outcome?



I've done this twice; completely stopped sitting on the fence, and obsessively overthinking every possible outcome, and both times pretty much the worst possible out come came around.

One friend even told me by email: I don't know why you did that, it was really mean of you (I reacted to some friends arguing, in my defence I got all ':confused: ehhh' and asked my dad's advice, the most introverted, irrational, lackinging any F possible ISTJ you've ever witnessed), then they went on to say you've always sat on the fence, which is really selfish, stop sitting on the fence you cowardly fool. Me(I'm yet to reply): But I was trying not to sit in the fence :sad:

Isn't anyone else a 6w7? *looks around*
If you hadn't already guesed, hello.
 
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