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Hello, I'm a 9w8 (sx/so), and I compare how i feel about other peoples perspectives to songs. Whenever I have a song stuck in my head and it affects my mood and how clearly I think, I allow another song I have heard before into my head thats just as catchy as well to push the first song out, and now I feel differently about things. Say for example I have Stan SB: Tears in Rain, stuck in my head and i feel really sad and deep, I can replay a song like Anamanaguchi: My Skateboard will go on, in my head and now I feel a lot better. However, to other people it seems strange how I can just change songs in my head. They feel like I don't have any favorite song at all, even though I like all of these songs as if each one was my favorite.

I feel the same way about perspectives and opinions. Theres always a point of view from each person, that no matter how incredulous it might seem from one end, if I imagine myself in their shoes, their argument seems plausible. I can agree, and they are pleased with my contentment.

However, there are occasions where I just simply cannot "change songs" or share perspectives. Then I tend to become stubborn about my position, even though I know it is possible to understand. So even though I get angry when the person with different opinions seems blatantly stupid, even though there might be reasons so. Therefore, I try to hide away from provoking them any further, even though I have a strong opinion at the time. I just want them to be content with who I am, even though I might seem like another person tomorrow. I don't want to be left aside. I don't ever want to be alone, but I much less want to be with people who don't approve of my presence.

I might disagree with this whole statement tomorrow, or maybe in the next hour, as well.

Anybody else able to relate their views with something else?
 

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MOTM Nov 2012
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Theres always a point of view from each person, that no matter how incredulous it might seem from one end, if I imagine myself in their shoes, their argument seems plausible. I can agree, and they are pleased with my contentment.
Yes, mostly. I can see perspectives even when in opposition to what I deem true, because I am never so strongly attached to my view that new information couldn't change it. Tbh I quite appreciate your music imagery as a descriptor.

My analogy is movable goal posts; Life is a wide open field, our perspective is contained between two goal posts, only with added information they can move either laterally while remaining parallel, or together/apart in distance, and in doing so changes our overall perspective. When my view is in direct opposition to another's it's because they have used different things to create their perspective, in order to consider their view incorrect I need to know what created that perspective so I can view their goal posts from the outside in, and without knowing that information I will not say they are wrong.

However, there are occasions where I just simply cannot "change songs" or share perspectives. Then I tend to become stubborn about my position, even though I know it is possible to understand. So even though I get angry when the person with different opinions seems blatantly stupid, even though there might be reasons so. Therefore, I try to hide away from provoking them any further, even though I have a strong opinion at the time.
I don't feel that part.

I can show stubborn if you attempt to get me to commit to something I don't want to, hate that, otherwise it's all about what makes logical sense, I don't usually have emotional investment in my opinions.

If I'm talking to someone who has a view I consider illogical and they are not open to other perspectives I don't waste my time, for the same reasons I don't punch myself in the head; it has no point, it will not gain me anything, and frankly it hurts.

If I'm talking to someone who has a view I consider illogical and they are open to other perspectives then I'm going to spar, and enjoy myself to no end. My interest is the exchange of ideas, the ability to have understanding expanded. I'm not going to be emotionally attached to my pov, the only time emotions will be an issue is if the other person makes it personal, at that time I refer to the previous paragraph and take that route, if you are emotionally attached to your pov then it is almost guaranteed that you are not open minded about other perspectives, that would be contradictory.

I just want them to be content with who I am, even though I might seem like another person tomorrow. I don't want to be left aside. I don't ever want to be alone, but I much less want to be with people who don't approve of my presence.
I have no issues with someone being blunt to me about disliking me, the emotional reasons as to why don't interest me in the slightest, but I'd rather them say I think you're a dick so I can "nothing" them. My main reason for backing away from a sparring contest in a situation where it may cause others to look unfavourably on me have more to wanting to be accepted not rejected than anything, as well as basic social niceties, as much as it slays me to say so. I don't particularly care about being alone.

The relevant factor here is I am So/Sx, not Sx/So like you.
 
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I agree with the perspectives, the most, I can't change my mood with music, at best I can nudge it slightly. Being able to see peoples perspectives as you described has really effected my life in a major way, I am currently debating on making it a life's work, studying, quantifying it to help the rest of understand more and more. Or if it would be better to turn away from it and do something less painful mentally. I've gone so far to start forming philosophy around it. Based on that ability to submerge myself into a view point and return from it with a greater knowledge. It has left me feeling very isolated, if you look you can find references in literature about this. CognitiveStyles book, ordered complexity has type deemed facilitator which fits this ability quite well, which I thought a good read, though the rest of the text is a bit raw.

[


Now that I threw that brain splurge out, I'll deal more personally to what you raised.

As stated above I can't just change songs when I have one stuck in my head or otherwise my moods are pretty set. I can understand liking those your favorites I'm similar in that way. I can have vastly different songs as favorites depending on my mood and what's going on in my life at the time. I love finding new music however can sometimes use that to make me feel better.

If I get where can't share perspectives, I get very nihilistic. I see people who don't see the perspective as being more animal, less human, less real, more determined and irritating, in other words a philosophical zombie. It then can turn inward and form a paradox I still am having trouble with, that is seeing how their perspective is shaped from their experience, and base personality factor, how is mine any different, how I can see my subjective self, and if this is determined then are we are determined system determining it self? The absurdity of reality is full force during these times. I'm sure I sound crazy right now.

I don't argue with people if I see it undermining or dealing with, their beliefs or stemming from a base assumption that forms their perspective. Too much trouble, for no value, and it risks making an enemy which unless I'm secure socially I really try to avoid. I have problem of not expressing myself readily because I need to be around people, it staves off the nihilism mentioned above. I need to be close to someone to feel really happy and confident, it's just a release for me to know someone cares/likes me the inner, core person I am. I can't imagine leaving in world where I am continually alienated, and abused for my likes and dislikes due to my perspective. I refuse to due it to others. I want a mutual understanding over changing any beliefs. I would rather keep quiet and be around people then not. I love hugs, and physical affection just platonically. I'm a SX/SP which makes sense with whats above.

I apologize for rambling XD and don't worry you can eventually get where you can see the commonalities in your opinions that will lead to more confidence in them, and recognize when a opinion is being formed from an adopted view. I hope that makes sense and helps, lol
 
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