Personality Cafe banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
812 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Do you think some types exude more of a natural confidence or are more likely to be confident or present as such? Sometimes overly so? Are some types more prone to lack confidence and be self deprecating? I think how much your natural traits are valued in an environment is a determining factor.
 

·
Registered
INFP 4w5 sp
Joined
·
5,252 Posts
Do you think some types exude more of a natural confidence or are more likely to be confident or present as such? Sometimes overly so? Are some types more prone to lack confidence and be self deprecating? I think how much your natural traits are valued in an environment is a determining factor.
I agree that the perceived value of your natural traits makes a big difference in how confident you may be, or appear to be. And of course each individual's background is going to play a big role - whether they've been encouraged or discouraged, whether they've developed their natural abilities or lacked opportunities for development, etc.

Generally Es are more ready to speak up to add their input or to step up to take action, try something out, or participate, while Introverts are more likely to stand back and listen or observe which may give the impression that they are not as confident of their words or abilities (even if that is not necessarily the case).

I feel like Js tend to prefer definite wording and more narrowed down, concise statements which sounds more confident than a Ps' preference to note the room for other possibilities or to present multiple (and possibly conflicting) perspectives. Js also tend to want to get things in motion more quickly, causing them to make decisions faster, while a P may spend more time 'hemming and hawing' over the pros and cons and possible outcomes - which looks less confident.

On the other hand, Ps' tend to be more willing to stand out from a crowd and go their own way or to rely on their own ability to figure something out without instructions or consulting others which can make them look more confident.

I feel like Ts seem to have a stronger instinct-like value of competence and independence leading them to avoid vulnerability including expressing uncertainty in some cases. I feel like they put more energy into making sure they do feel competent or knowledgeable, but may also have a slightly greater tendency than Fs to project more competence and certainty in the attempt not to fall short of their own value. So this would also contribute to an air of confidence.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
812 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
I agree that the perceived value of your natural traits makes a big difference in how confident you may be, or appear to be. And of course each individual's background is going to play a big role - whether they've been encouraged or discouraged, whether they've developed their natural abilities or lacked opportunities for development, etc.

Generally Es are more ready to speak up to add their input or to step up to take action, try something out, or participate, while Introverts are more likely to stand back and listen or observe which may give the impression that they are not as confident of their words or abilities (even if that is not necessarily the case).

I feel like Js tend to prefer definite wording and more narrowed down, concise statements which sounds more confident than a Ps' preference to note the room for other possibilities or to present multiple (and possibly conflicting) perspectives. Js also tend to want to get things in motion more quickly, causing them to make decisions faster, while a P may spend more time 'hemming and hawing' over the pros and cons and possible outcomes - which looks less confident.

On the other hand, Ps' tend to be more willing to stand out from a crowd and go their own way or to rely on their own ability to figure something out without instructions or consulting others which can make them look more confident.

I feel like Ts seem to have a stronger instinct-like value of competence and independence leading them to avoid vulnerability including expressing uncertainty in some cases. I feel like they put more energy into making sure they do feel competent or knowledgeable, but may also have a slightly greater tendency than Fs to project more competence and certainty in the attempt not to fall short of their own value. So this would also contribute to an air of confidence.
You always impress me with your intelligent, insightful responses, Aelthwyn. I pretty much agree/see it the same way, and said similar things in the MBTI Facebook group. Extraversion can very well at least give you the appearance of confidence, even if you're not. You can hide it in a ramble of words, while introverts can be quietly confident. Js tend to be more definitive and decisive, but maybe less able to adapt when things go wrong. That might be true of Ts, I think certain enneagram types like say 6, 8 or 5 even might also be more this way, whereas types like 3 and 9 less so.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,892 Posts
I think that most people will feel confident in the areas of their core competencies. For instance, put me behind the wheel of a car, and I'm quite confident. Play sports, I'm also confident, even aggressive--too much so, even. Cross my values, and you will find me coming down on you like a ton of bricks, should the situaton seem to need it according to me.

That said, one of the things I value most is not causing more hassles/hardship/friction between people, so it is entirely possible that people see me as a pushover or lacking confidence--in public, I can be quite quiet and tactiturn. I'm also prone to attempt to make the other feel comfortable and unthreatened, even if they did something wrong or stupid (like a waiter or waitress messing up my order, or a store clerk messing up at the cash register). These sorts of things may make me look less "confident" because many these days perceive rudeness, pushiness, arrogance, etc. as "confidence." But the opposite may very well be true--it's just an act of bravado to hide a lack of genune self-confidence--an inability to value oneself without de-valuing others. Of course, there also simply arrogant jerks who love themselves too much, who aren't worth the effort to squash them underfoot, though there have been times I have done so. You'd be surprised how many rude people who intimidate people who back down when someone stands up to them. Cowards at heart.

My point, Iguess, is that you can't always judge confidence by appearances and behavior.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
466 Posts
I don't know how self-confident I APPEAR, but I'm very self-assured, and people who know me well have called me arrogant on occasion. Or "principled" when they're trying to be kind. In any case people generally tell that I visibly give no f**ks and look really judgmental a lot. Or intimidating. Or aloof. Like a cat.

I guess what I'm trying to say is even though I'm always nice and polite and kind, everyone assumes I'm a bitch who thinks she's better than them because of my attitude and inability to stay focused on things that bore me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
411 Posts
I think a lot of it depends on the situation. People are most insecure in situations that require them to use their weakest or least-valued functions. For example:

TJ's tend to be nervous in Fe social situations because it's the antithesis to their Te drive to directly state the truth and get things done.
TP's tend to be uncomfortable making moral/value judgments or having their character judged because Fi is the opposite of their Ti method of making objective judgments.
FJ's dislike Te situations where they need to be state things directly or "get things going" on their own because it's the opposite of their Fe way of brightening the mood to encourage others to do it.
FP's are uncomfortable being criticized (not necessarily judged) because impersonal statements are the antithesis to Fi value judgments.



I feel like Js tend to prefer definite wording and more narrowed down, concise statements which sounds more confident than a Ps' preference to note the room for other possibilities or to present multiple (and possibly conflicting) perspectives. Js also tend to want to get things in motion more quickly, causing them to make decisions faster, while a P may spend more time 'hemming and hawing' over the pros and cons and possible outcomes - which looks less confident.

On the other hand, Ps' tend to be more willing to stand out from a crowd and go their own way or to rely on their own ability to figure something out without instructions or consulting others which can make them look more confident.
I agree with this. It comes to Je vs. Ji functions. Judgers (especially EJ's who have dominant Je) feel a lot more confidence over their environment than P's (especially IP's with inferior Je), but P's have a lot more confidence and control over themselves.
 

·
Registered
INFP 4w5 sp
Joined
·
5,252 Posts
. . . These sorts of things may make me look less "confident" because many these days perceive rudeness, pushiness, arrogance, etc. as "confidence." But the opposite may very well be true--it's just an act of bravado to hide a lack of genune self-confidence--an inability to value oneself without de-valuing others.
yes. Seeing negative behavior excused or even encouraged as "showing confidence" sickens me.

Another way I see this happen is people being pushed to give a simple Yes or No about something that realistically they cannot claim certainty about. Giving a realistic "maybe" or or making note of other possibilities is much more practical than being pushed to "Be confident" in your answer by making it more definite than it actually is. :rolleyes:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,935 Posts
Do you think some types exude more of a natural confidence or are more likely to be confident or present as such? Sometimes overly so? Are some types more prone to lack confidence and be self deprecating? I think how much your natural traits are valued in an environment is a determining factor.
I told I come across as confident on here and that just made me smile :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,385 Posts
There's probably a greater correlation when it comes to DISC or interaction styles. MBTI, not so much. However, types that are generally seen as confident, would probably be ExTJs and ESxPs.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
812 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
I think that most people will feel confident in the areas of their core competencies. For instance, put me behind the wheel of a car, and I'm quite confident. Play sports, I'm also confident, even aggressive--too much so, even. Cross my values, and you will find me coming down on you like a ton of bricks, should the situaton seem to need it according to me.

That said, one of the things I value most is not causing more hassles/hardship/friction between people, so it is entirely possible that people see me as a pushover or lacking confidence--in public, I can be quite quiet and tactiturn. I'm also prone to attempt to make the other feel comfortable and unthreatened, even if they did something wrong or stupid (like a waiter or waitress messing up my order, or a store clerk messing up at the cash register). These sorts of things may make me look less "confident" because many these days perceive rudeness, pushiness, arrogance, etc. as "confidence." But the opposite may very well be true--it's just an act of bravado to hide a lack of genune self-confidence--an inability to value oneself without de-valuing others. Of course, there also simply arrogant jerks who love themselves too much, who aren't worth the effort to squash them underfoot, though there have been times I have done so. You'd be surprised how many rude people who intimidate people who back down when someone stands up to them. Cowards at heart.

My point, Iguess, is that you can't always judge confidence by appearances and behavior.
You're right, confidence is often equated with those qualities in our society, or they go hand in hand. I mean, the line between confidence and arrogance is often very blurry. There's also overlap, and over-confidence can lead to arrogance (though I wouldn't necessarily say always) and arrogance to over-confidence. I think for me it's more when you feel compelled to act contrary to your values, or are prevented from acting freely, as a result of your lack of confidence. Appearances may be misleading, but I feel after extended periods of observation they do give a pretty good idea.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
812 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
I don't know how self-confident I APPEAR, but I'm very self-assured, and people who know me well have called me arrogant on occasion. Or "principled" when they're trying to be kind. In any case people generally tell that I visibly give no f**ks and look really judgmental a lot. Or intimidating. Or aloof. Like a cat.

I guess what I'm trying to say is even though I'm always nice and polite and kind, everyone assumes I'm a bitch who thinks she's better than them because of my attitude and inability to stay focused on things that bore me.

How self-assured I am largely depends on the situation for me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
35 Posts
INFJ - Can force themselves to appear confident when there's a higher purpose.
INFP - Humbly confident, also humbly insecure
ISTJ - Confident when they know the exact proceedures
ENTJ - Overly confident
ENFP - Seems confident but might not be
ENTP - Conflicting super-confidence and insecurity
ESTP - Confident and appears confident
ISFJ - Insecure and appears insecure
ESFJ - Appear confident, but also reveal their insecurities quickly. Confident with their insecurities
ESTJ - Wants to appear confident and is confident
INTJ - Insecure around people but confident with their logical conclusions.


x) Uh... so I started doing this list and now I am to tired to finish it. These are suggestions. I expected someone to have written a list but no one had so I wrote my own.
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top