[Mez]

Based on your knowledge of the typical behavioral patterns of each MBTI type, which types do you think are more likely to become victims of bullying in school?

Based on my observations, most victims tend to be very bad at reading the situation, bad at predicting behavior of their peers, stuck in their head, bad with controlling their emotional outbursts, bad with understanding or finding patterns of behavior that lead to bullying.

I've spent roughly about maybe 9 months by now trying to determine my type, and through trial and error, for now I've settled with "unhealthy INTJ". Based on my school experience as an "unhealthy INTJ":

- I did quite easily attract bullies, but all of that was very short-lived. Because people who knew me well, knew of my tyrannical nature, and at all costs avoided getting on my bad side. Bullies who roamed my school but weren't part of my class, at first glance saw me as an easy target, but upon first direct engagement, always lost the desire to encounter me ever again. I wasn't particularly physically violent (although have been in junior school and enjoyed it), but I managed to quite easily force people into submission via subtle ques conveyed through eye contact, hand gestures, and style of verbal communication. Both of my parents display a similar talent at work, one deals with criminals, another deals with office workers, but both engage in successful "silent leadership", and both have been told to be "scary" by their peers.

I don't know if what I described above is typical for INTJ's, or if I simply learned that skill by imitating my parents. But what's your take on the MBTI vs. bullying connection?

 

[Cherry]

victims - infp/istp/is......you know what...anyone ...any type

bullies - entj/enfj/intj....also any type

 

[nablur]

estp/8 here, i was bullied in one way or another in elementary, middle and high school. multiple older kids usually ganging up on me, pushing me around, taking my lunch, talkin shit, etc... and my own friends standing their clueless and not doing shit, or bailing all together.

i have been called a bully as well, usually its not intended but the victim/sensitive types seem to be bothered by my natural intensity and are intimidated by it.... and then they call me a bully. bollocks.

anyway, being a 'bully' is just an illusion. one person may see it as bullying (if they are in a victim mindset) while another may see it as simply challenging (if they are in a creator mindset).

 

[Witch of Oreo]

estp/8 here, i was bullied in one way or another in elementary, middle and high school. multiple older kids usually ganging up on me, pushing me around, taking my lunch, talkin shit, etc... and my own friends standing their clueless and not doing shit, or bailing all together.

i have been called a bully as well, usually its not intended but the victim/sensitive types seem to be bothered by my natural intensity and are intimidated by it.... and then they call me a bully. bollocks.

anyway, being a 'bully' is just an illusion. one person may see it as bullying (if they are in a victim mindset) while another may see it as simply challenging (if they are in a creator mindset).

Huh... Where would you put having your things thrown into trash bin, being locked up in the bathroom, beaten up, ghosted, etc? That's just a small part of what I had.

 

[460202]

anyway, being a 'bully' is just an illusion. one person may see it as bullying (if they are in a victim mindset) while another may see it as simply challenging (if they are in a creator mindset).

I can understand why you may see things this way based on your experiences with having being labeled a bully, but I strongly disagree with this notion. I absolutely do not believe that bullying is an illusion based on how one interprets it; I think that bullying, whether intentional or not, is a form of abuse, and that most bullies simply like to feel like they hold power over somebody who is weaker than them (in some way).

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seemed to me that your view on bullying stems from a victim-blaming mindset.

 

[Witch of Oreo]

I can understand why you may see things this way based on your experiences with having being labeled a bully, but I strongly disagree with this notion. I absolutely do not believe that bullying is an illusion based on how one interprets it; I think that bullying, whether intentional or not, is a form of abuse, and that most bullies simply like to feel like they hold power over somebody who is weaker than them (in some way).

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seemed to me that your view on bullying stems from a victim-blaming mindset.

I'd like to add that bullying is expressed through action first and foremost, thus there is no way it can be subjective.
There is one episode that I think showcase s this well.
In one visual novel I read, Deardrops, one of heroines is shown walking from school barefoot because someone put her shoes away. She herself denies that it's bullying and is completely unfazed by it. Later on, the girl who did it confesses she did it to attract her victim's attention. It's also only one of instances, and the victim herself says she is "used to it".
So, does it make the perpetrator less of a bully? Does it excuse her actions? Obviously no. Fictional example, yes, but it makes a point that victim can never be blamed for bullying, just because it's bully's actions and choices that make it happen.

 

[Malandro]

I'm British, so I'd expect this to be difference from Americans.

INFPs and ISFP are universally bullied (lol), Te doms could be seem as being too far up their arses or 'boffs' so they might be 'brought down a peg', Se-doms.... If we're energetic, we could get bullied for enthusiasm? Same with Ne-doms but recently I've noticed people emulating Ne-dom 7w6 behaviour. Si doms might be too square and unimaginative and Fe doms... Fe doms are the socially dominant type. I can't even think of anything for them other than they had a cray moment and now that everyone's shunning them, they're all emotional and breaking down over it lol

EDIT: I forgot Ni doms! Yh they're bullied for either being worrywarts or too concerned about the future 'Just live for now!'

 

[Davidkal]

I believe that INFP,ISFP,ISTP,INFJ types are most likely to be bullied but also INTP and INTJ when they are young.

As an INTJ,I used to be bullied when I was 12-13.I had already an incredibly strong Ni but my Te was not strong enough to be able to deal with that kind of crap. On high school,I always looked as an easy target to some retards from other classes that didn't know me (they thought I was an easy target because I was "quiet" and really didn't give a shit about what was going on around me.)But I was able to make them feel really stupid and embarassed for doing this,so it never lasted for more than a week.
On the other hand my best friend that was an INFP was never able to deal with bullying..He would always get emotional and self-pity about it and that made others bully him even more.Also the fact that he forgives very easily didn't really help in that case.

I believe that Te,Se and Fe doms can become bullies more easy than the others.
Fi people can almost never become bullies lmao. Fi is my third function (so not that important) but every time I do something actually mean,I always feel VERY bad afterwards,probably worse than the person that received the mean action/comment.
So I can only imagine what Fi doms/aux feel like in same situations

 

[Mr Castelo]

I've been bullied during high school, and I do believe that my introversion contributed to this incident. I think there is a correlation between being an introvert and appearing sensitive (especially IxFPs types) and being bullied, because bullies prey on those who are more easily isolated.

estp/8 here, i was bullied in one way or another in elementary, middle and high school. multiple older kids usually ganging up on me, pushing me around, taking my lunch, talkin shit, etc... and my own friends standing their clueless and not doing shit, or bailing all together.

i have been called a bully as well, usually its not intended but the victim/sensitive types seem to be bothered by my natural intensity and are intimidated by it.... and then they call me a bully. bollocks.

anyway, being a 'bully' is just an illusion. one person may see it as bullying (if they are in a victim mindset) while another may see it as simply challenging (if they are in a creator mindset).

Lol, there's no way bullying is some kind of illusion. I was socially isolated by my classmates and treated like shit. I actually saw it as a "challenge", but that still doesn't erase the fact that it was a damaging experience. You can view bullying victims as having a "victim mindset", but a subjective perspective doesn't change objective reality. Bullies are terrible people who take advantage of the weaknesses of others to feel superior, and I'm not talking about someone just being intimidating, but someone that actually enjoys inflicting harm on another person.

 

[nablur]

@Witch of Oreo @Flower Hat @Mr. Castelo

read through this and lemme know what you think, and what it implicates in this situation: The Drama Triangle and Empowerment Dynamic | Bert Parlee
@Flower Hat - INFP's are eternal victims, so of course you'd believe that

 

[Mr Castelo]

Oh, my, I hope this doesn't turn into another shitshow.

 

[Witch of Oreo]

@Witch of Oreo @Flower Hat

read through this and lemme know what you think, and what it implicates in this situation: The Drama Triangle and Empowerment Dynamic | Bert Parlee
@Flower Hat - INFP's are eternal victims, so of course you'd believe that

Bully can't be a challenger. Period.

 

[nablur]

Lol, there's no way bullying is some kind of illusion.

youre right, its not an illusion... i misspoke. whatever happened, happened.

it is, however, subjective. one mans trash is another mans treasure.

 

[nablur]

Bully can't be a challenger. Period.

disagree. *shrug*

maybe a different article will help: http://www.cbodn.org/Resources/Documents/2013 Conference/Power of TED Summary Two Sided 2013_Tso.pdf

 

[Witch of Oreo]

disagree. *shrug*

Then it's settled. You are entitled to your own opinion.

 

[Mr Castelo]

youre right, its not an illusion... i misspoke. whatever happened, happened.

it is, however, subjective. one mans trash is another mans treasure.

How you perceive bullying is subjective, I agree. But the problem that I see with saying that being a victim is just a mindset is that it can be used to justify bullying (e.g "I'm not bullying you, you need to grow some balls!"), or making someone turn a blind eye to their own circumstances ("I'm not being bullied, this is just another challenge"), when they might actually be facing a dangerous situation. But I see it depends on how you approach the situation, these are just the extreme cases where I can see this going badly.

 

[nablur]

Based on your knowledge of the typical behavioral patterns of each MBTI type, which types do you think are more likely to become victims of bullying in school?

i think Fi would take on the victim mindset more often, while the Te preference would come off as the bully/challenger

 

[Zeus]

Growing up I was often the protector because of my size, had a kid steal toys from my ESFP brother on a playground once. I asked him to give my brother his toys back, when he refused I socked him in the jaw and grabbed my brothers toys back. I've always stood up for those who would get overpowered by others. Imo ISTJs get their fare share of bullying. Seems like bullies most of the time are extroverts, where as though those picked on are introverts. Had a guy try to push me into a fountain once, I just moved and he fell in haha.

 

[Mez]

So, does it make the perpetrator less of a bully? Does it excuse her actions? Obviously no. Fictional example, yes, but it makes a point that victim can never be blamed for bullying, just because it's bully's actions and choices that make it happen.

Based on my observation, I had one guy called Andrew in school. (since the way our school system worked, we had the exact same classmates in junior, middle, high, grew up almost like a family of 30 people).

So the Andrew guy was bullied throughout the entirety of the 12 years of school. And I always got to observe him a lot from a distance, to figure out what the heck he's doing wrong, and what can I do to avoid the same fate. After 12 years of observation I concluded that he was doing absolutely everything to attract negative attention to himself. He acted as if he is the smartest in the class and everyone else is intellectually inferior to him. If someone would bump into his desk or into him, he'd loudly accuse that person in said "crime". And if he'd be playfully mocked by someone, he'd respond in a very emotional and aggressive verbal charade. As result, he would be physically bullied for it, and in response to that physical bullying, he would only get louder, more accusative, and more annoying.
By the time we reached high-school, and my classmates became more mature, the amount of bullying was reduced, and Andrew's personality started becoming insignificant. He noticed this, and amp-ed up his annoying behavior, because he wanted to remain in the spotlight of the class as the "victim". He basically started attention whoring as result of reduced bullying. We however didn't respond to it, and just started feeling disgust towards him and avoided him as much as possible.

We also had another guy called Alex who joined our class only in middle school. He also endured some small amount of bullying, and I also observed him to a great degree, but what I found was that he, just as Andrew, did everything he could to transform every single personal conflict into "I'm being bullied" news headline. At some point things got bad, and my best friend got accused of assaulting Alex, parents were called up, teachers called up. Then our homeroom teacher spent an entire hour punishing the entire class for it. But during the discussion, the teacher asked Alex "Why do you think you're being bullied?" and he responded: "Probably because everyone knows I'm weak and can't fight back." The teacher instantly turned towards me and said while pointing her finger at me: "Okay, then why doesn't he get bullied? He's even weaker and more silent than you", and Alex just shrugged and said "How should I know."
My (undeclared) answer was that "I know how to control myself and how to control my environment."

 

[nablur]

Based on my observation, I had one guy called Andrew in school. (since the way our school system worked, we had the exact same classmates in junior, middle, high, grew up almost like a family of 30 people).

So the Andrew guy was bullied throughout the entirety of the 12 years of school. And I always got to observe him a lot from a distance, to figure out what the heck he's doing wrong, and what can I do to avoid the same fate. After 12 years of observation I concluded that he was doing absolutely everything to attract negative attention to himself. He acted as if he is the smartest in the class and everyone else is intellectually inferior to him. If someone would bump into his desk or into him, he'd loudly accuse that person in said "crime". And if he'd be playfully mocked by someone, he'd respond in a very emotional and aggressive verbal charade. As result, he would be physically bullied for it, and in response to that physical bullying, he would only get louder, more accusative, and more annoying.
By the time we reached high-school, and my classmates became more mature, the amount of bullying was reduced, and Andrew's personality started becoming insignificant. He noticed this, and amp-ed up his annoying behavior, because he wanted to remain in the spotlight of the class as the "victim". He basically started attention whoring as result of reduced bullying. We however didn't respond to it, and just started feeling disgust towards him and avoided him as much as possible.

We also had another guy called Alex who joined our class only in middle school. He also endured some small amount of bullying, and I also observed him to a great degree, but what I found was that he, just as Andrew, did everything he could to transform every single personal conflict into "I'm being bullied" news headline. At some point things got bad, and my best friend got accused of assaulting Alex, parents were called up, teachers called up. Then our homeroom teacher spent an entire hour punishing the entire class for it. But during the discussion, the teacher asked Alex "Why do you think you're being bullied?" and he responded: "Probably because everyone knows I'm weak and can't fight back." The teacher instantly turned towards me and said while pointing her finger at me: "Okay, then why doesn't he get bullied? He's even weaker and more silent than you", and Alex just shrugged and said "How should I know."
My answer was that "I know how to control myself and how to control my environment."

interesting. from one perspective he is the bully, not the victim... (by him thinking he is the smartest, belittling others, etc... )

Had a guy try to push me into a fountain once, I just moved and he fell in haha.

so you took on the creator persona, instead of the victim. "shit happens, i'll deal with it. i have teh power" see how its all perspective? @Witch of Oreo @Mr. Castelo